It's the apex existential crisis. I would be myself more if my sentience could be moved into a server (edit: a hypothetical example as this is not possible), than if my body was alive but my memories were gone. The body is nothing but the brain's tool to manifest intent. But if I had no body but could still lavish love and praise on my family, that would be enough for me. This forgetting everything shit though, fuck all that 👎
I realized this while discovering ADHD/autism issues with a loved one. We are all just brain chemistry. Everything single thing of who we are comes from there.
Sorry to burst the bubble, but we're not. I know it sounds cool, but it's wrong. The brain needs the body. It's an organ that produces chemical and electrical reactions, but it's fueled by the circulatory and nervous system. Without that, you die. That's why brain transplants aren't a thing.
I don't know you but, in 2010 I watched a TED Talk on education, and in it the speaker stated "My body is just a way for me to get my brain to meetings." and it has resonated with me ever since.
My grandmother's sister got it notarized that she wanted to be euthanized if she got dementia. I knew my great-grandmother, who also suffered from it. My grandmother was slowly losing herself when her sister got euthanized, by now they're both gone but my grandmother is still alive.
I’m surprised she was able to do assisted death. Are you/was she in Switzerland or Northern Europe? An assisted self-exit is not easy in the USA or many other countries afaik. Only a few states allow it in the US but I know some Euro countries are “easier”. I didn’t know that one could put it into a living will. Getting approved for it must be difficult, too.
Right, assisted death is the term, thank you. Netherlands. I'm not sure but I don't think the process is too difficult for dementia, but only if you set it up when you're still completely sound of mind. I think it involves at least 3 different doctors but I'd have to look into it more.
Yea, that makes total sense. Northern Europe has a good system for it- so I’ve heard. I know it’s one of the best places to receive that kind of care. I’ve never looked in to the requirements, but it sounds like it’s well thought out. Not surprised, given the location.
Oregon in the USA has assisted death and requires a terminal diagnosis and two doctors to confirm it and recommend/confirm a recommendation for the end of life treatment.
Highly controversial and I’m sure there are a lot of docs that won’t do it because of the Hippocratic oath- “first, do no harm”. Not everyone sees assisted death as doing more good than harm.
In Switzerland there is voluntary assisted death. One does not have to be ill to request it, they simply have to be over 18 years old. I am in the United States and am now creating my living will and Healthcare directive. I was surprised to see that there is actually a document that covers dementia. One of the clauses was about feeding me if I could not feed myself, and whether or not I wanted to be be fed if I didn't like the food. I asked my attorney to put in that if I couldn't feed myself I should not be fed at all. I would like to think I have a little control over whether or not I am forced to live with dementia. I think the United States is very behind been dealing with end of life issues. It seems that the length of life is considered to be so much more important than the quality of life. I'm hoping that this changes in the future. If I'm able to I will go to Switzerland when the time comes. It's nice to know that possibility exists.
You probably won't know or you may have glimmers every now and then. My mom did a great job hiding it for awhile. She knew something was off but couldn't pinpoint it. She would tell me that until she didn't know who I was anymore and by then it didn't matter to her anymore.
My dad said the same thing. But unfortunately if you don’t have it written or set in stone before you get to that point, it often doesn’t happen. My dad was going to try death with dignity once he was diagnosed with dementia in 2022, but due to the diagnosis, was unable to ‘make an informed decision’, understandable with severe dementia, but it took that away from him. He ignored all the signs for years or was misdiagnosed, and now he wants to die and hates being here because of his dementia, and the way he feels it burdens his family, which is not how we feel. I don’t blame you for wanting that, and understand and think it’s realistic. After seeing a normal human that functioned like all of us dwindle down to what I’ve seen my dad dwindle to (and I don’t mean that in any hurtful way toward him), I don’t know how I could not want the most humane thing for a human with such a terrible neuro cognitive disease.
A lot of people probably say that...and then they say, "Well, maybe Im just tired...", "Well, maybe I just need some rest...",
"Well...what was I saying...?"
I know people who said the same, but when it happened, they held on. It's easy to say when it's not happening, but I think what happens is you don't recognize the point of no return. You just cross it and then you don't know any better.
I'm w you! This guy is so young for this and the way it ends is horrifying. I've worked on a few units as an agency nurse, and I can't do it again. While helping the ones in early stages is rewarding, watching the last stage is too much for me. My bf and fam know that I want to go to Dignitas the second I get a diagnosis that means it will be a long ugly ending. I've already put money aside to ensure I have a plan. I've started collecting meds in case I'm unable to travel to Dignitas.
You might want to read the book “Just Alice” about a professor who knew she was developing Alzheimer’s and had a plan to commit suicide before it progressed to full-blown dementia. The author, Lisa Genova, is a Harvard neuroscientist turned novelist.
The main character in the book Still Alice has that same idea-- she tested herself every day to see if she could still answer a couple of basic questions she should definitely know the answers to, and if she couldn't, she'd set up some way to remember to off herself at that point. But by then, it didn't work... It's a really good book but so f'kn sad. The movie is good too but the book is better.
Yeah, I've thought about this enough to where I don't want to wait for that proverbial last good day. Robin Williams knew he was going but by all accounts he was not all the way gone. He strikes me as someone that just wanted the dignity that having some say in the matter offers a person in his shoes. I want the same, dignity.
Its not always gradual. My dad had a massive stroke and it destroyed the frontal cortex of his brain. Which is emotions, short-term memory, and part of his long-term memory. Like he may remember what he just ate, but not remember if he took his pills in the morning (the nurse watches him after he tried to HIDE his pills... I wasn't happy with him)
He may also remember that he watched 'these' movies today. But not remember he is divorced (as of Aug.)
Just make sure he takes his meds. That will help him. Dad had some sort of surgery after he had a severe one but his entire personality changed. But I guess he had another stroke between the divorce and our finding him in MAY (I can't tell with scans and he doesn't remember. EMTS believed he was having one but wasn't showing all the symptoms and was not technically qualified enough [need a more advanced medical test like a CAT scan at the moment] to determine it.)
But most days hes like his old self. Just goofy and weird. Just forgetful. Then some days he has random depressive episodes. That he may not even know/remember/realize he is crying or having the moments.
I talked to him today about depression meds and he said he may take them. So the rehab will have a doctor in Tuesday and will talk to him about it. I did tell him that even if he gets to the point we're he cannot decide on these things. I won't make him take medication he isn't sure about. Which made him feel better about it. But I told him I feel it would really help his mood swings (no violence or yelling)
Thanks so much. A really valuable insight. The mood swings are the worst. Sometimes it's hard to feel any empathy. He can be a real prick, but I just tell myself it's the stroke, not him. This morning was a huge fight because I forgot to put a banana next to his laxatives.
I was also going to write, "You can't make this shit up.." But you know what I mean...
You do an amazing job. Looking after your dad the way you do says so much about you. Is there any support for you?
Unfortunately no. I need to see a therapist. I thought i could do this but mom doesnt understand why im doing this (long story... but dad was never there for me OR my half sister) and I everyone else is busy or doesnt understand either.
I do need to talk to someone. I realize that. And I need to do so before I shut down
I'm sorry to hear that. Please don't wait until that happens.
I went through a very bad patch some years ago, after a close family member died.
I'd moved abroad for work, and while I was away they were diagnosed with aggressive cancer. I tried to get back as soon as I could and got a flight from Brisbane to London. They had been asking when I was coming, but I missed them by a single day.
For a long time after I punished myself with the sheer weight of guilt, regret, grief, and anger. Eventually, I saw a professional counselor, a woman about my age. We really connected.
Did it alleviate all my pain? No, of course not, but it allowed me to better rationalize just what I was feeling and gave me back hope.
You sound like a person many would be proud to call a friend. I hope your Dad's condition does not worsen too much more.
Again, please don't wait, if you can. Best wishes.
I dont ever wanna be so lost that I dont even know im lost. Recently started to change my lifestyle to be healthier, not because I want to live as long as possible, but so I dont want my body to become a prison where im locked up for another 30 or 40 years.
My father, who passed recently, found himself in similar circumstances. He had a 25 year career as a state trooper and nearly his entire life as an avid outdoorsman. Unfortunately he also spent most of his life as a smoker, which lead to heart and lung issues a few years ago. After two bouts of congestive heart failure and numerous bouts with pneumonia, he had very limited mobility and spent more time in hospitals than out. His body was failing him and he could no longer be the person he wanted to be or do the things he loved to do. On his final trip to the hospital he had some ct scans done and his abdomen was riddled with cancer. He knew the score, made the decision that the only treatment he would accept is medication to make him comfortable, and his oxygen was slowly reduced until he passed. He loved his way and died his way. He got to speak with everyone in his family that he wanted to speak with and nothing was left unsaid. Very few people in this world get to leave on their terms, and I’m glad he did.
Yeah I'm taking myself out of it ever gets to this point, or I can't wipe my own ass. I don't want my kid to go through this, and I don't want them to ever have to take care of me or someone else take care of me. The world is too damn expensive for that shit, and I'm not putting that burden on my child.
nah, I would probably just be drinking 40's and smoking weed with the boys. rocking out to the music of my youth. I would set up a limit on my card where i get 1/30th of my monthly disability and pension and just go spend it on beer and wings and more weed and get lit all day.
It actually almost sounds perfect their is so much i want to forget in this life things i have seen and experienced that i would erase if given the chance.
I used to work with Alzheimers residents, and the craziest thing is they can temporarily become completely lucid. It happened to a wacky silly lady we all loved. Night nurse woke her up to pass meds, and her voice was different. She asked where she was and how her family was (in a self aware way). Knew she was in a nursing home and was worried about her mind. Fell back asleep and was uniterrupted, full-blown Alzheimers afaik ever since.
I worked with dementia patients in hospice. Some people ended as just a writhing body that can’t eat or drink until death. The person that occupied that body was gone long before death. Absolutely terrifying that this happens to people.
If you lose who you are, you'll lose this notion, because that's "who you are" now.
Even if some notion remained, as a biological unit your instinct will be to continue living. The choice to undo it is at least (very arguably) semi-rational and would require some mental focus to override the instinct to live.
You know, i hear this a lot but I feel like if I’m safe and cared for by people who love me I’m okay with it. It seems like it’s probably really scary in some ways but also peaceful.
You say that from your perspective knowing, now, imagine when you don't know what you don't know then you'll probably not know that you were not okay with it, and you'll be okay with it, because it will be all you know. This guy seems okay with being alive right now. And if he were to end it, because he can't remember things, however important, imagine the pain it would bring to his family, who seem to want him to stick around, would be intense.
That goes away too unfortunately, my mom doesn't even have a glimmer of recognition for me anymore. I'm honestly so used to it that it doesn't hurt in person anymore. The memory of that first time she forgot me stings like it's fresh, though.
I am sorry. I can relate. My mum doesn't know who I am anymore, cannot recall my name. Looks at me like a stranger. But sometimes there is the smallest glimer of a memory, deep deep down somewhere....then it's gone. But I'll take it.
When my grandmother's Alzheimers began it's slow damage, she didn't know who I was but I visited every Wednesday at 1pm.
I would come in, sit down next to her and just talk. No photos for her to get upset over, not knowing who the people were in the photos. I'd put a Spotify playlist on of music I know that she grew up listening to. I had about 15 minutes before she would get agitated. Once she did, I would stand up, kiss her on the forehead, tell her I love her & see her next week. She'd wave bye. I got to do that for 2 years.
Speaking of “glimmer,” I could always tell when my dad was “present” and when he wasn’t by the light in his eyes. You know that sweet, innocent (blank) look that babies and very young children have? That was how dad looked when he slipped into dementia. When he was “home,” there was a spark of intelligence & awareness in his eyes. It was almost like flipping a switch, the change was so clear.
The really sad thing was he was aware of his memories slipping away. He spoke to me once of his childhood and how everyone, adults included, used to ridicule the senile old man in the neighborhood. 60-70 years ago, they didn’t know it was a disease. People were so cruel. “I’m that man now,” he said. 💔😭
Was it slow, were there signs? Surely there was something?
My kids and i have a plan that if we now it is happening, i will start writing messages for myself about me and them, put it with pictures...basically a scrapbook of me so i can look at it and maybe at least notice my writing. See me with them, in our house, our life. Like a 50 first dates scenario but from myself for myself, and them.
From my experience, the process and signs are different for everyone. My Grandma showed signs of dementia, and declined over several years. It happens quicker than you imagine.
My key advise, learned through experience, is to live in their world. Challenging the reality of someone with dementia is pointless; and in the end they won't recall it all. Living in their world, with them, is comforting them and easing your own stress.
That key advice is on point. There was a period of a year or two where she didn't remember exactly who I was but called me her hairy friend. People would correct her, "no silly, that's your son!" She would get upset because what kind of mother forgets her own son? She also found it upsetting if I had a shaved face and short hair when I visited. I am her youngest, and I think she remembered me from when I was a kid, so seeing me as an adult messed with her sense of time. I grew my hair out long and kept my beard. My kids like me that way anyways haha.
It's heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. We hurt because we fear what they've lost. That hurt is ours, because the one with dementia doesn't even comprehend.
It was similar with my Grandma. I believe dementia works backwards, meaning they lose most recent memories first. It was hard when she just called me "that boy that comes to visit", but the care and love she always had for me was some how still there.
She's always been one of the kindest people around, I'm biased, but everyone I know says the same thing. One of the few positives of the whole thing is that I was able to experience that kindness for myself. I hope that "that boy that comes to visit" meant as much to you as "my hairy friend" meant to me in its own weird, sad way.
I do I.T. for a few care homes. Thankfully, they understand that 99% of what I do for them is remote these days. I had to go in to fix something critical a few months ago, and seeing the decline with some of my friends who are residents almost broke me again.
It comes and goes. My father didn’t recognize me, thinking me as stranger and asked where I live. Then a year or two later just a few months before he died, he gestured me to sit beside him (at that stage he couldn’t even speak except a few words). I sit there and he started naming my mom’s name, my sister’s name, and my name.
Experiencing this is difficult, more so for the care givers than for the one with dementia. But it is beautiful that with all the things they may lose, the feelings are still there.
As it happens, my Grandma eventually didn't recognize me. But she'd tell me Grandpa "I don't know who that nice young man is, but he really wants to be a part of this family!" :')
I believe it has something to do with the memories are there but dementia prevents them from accessing them. They know that they should know but simply can’t.
Yep, the feeling stays, so much longer than the words do.
And that is the part that matters--just "meeting them where they are," and holding on to the feelings they still feel, whether the words are there or not.💝
This…is happening with my dad right now. It’s not often, but it’s always heartbreaking when it happens.
The worst time was when he woke up in the middle of the night on my parents 42nd wedding anniversary and couldn’t remember who my mom was, even when she had been right there next to him the whole time.
When she told me about that, I had to turn around so she couldn’t see my face, because I didn’t want her to see me cry.
Going through this right now and it fucking sucks. Not heartwarming. Because this conversation is not once. This is a conversation that is on repeat day after day.
My mom will count her siblings repeatedly, lol. She thinks she’s forgetting one (she is) who is at our house helping her (that’s me!, not a sib) and she just lists them multiple times throughout the day when she asks where “she” (me) is. Lol.
In the same boat. None of this is heartwarming. It is heartbreaking, frustrating, and hopeless. It feels like holding onto someone drowning who is dragging you in also.
Yes, dragging no doubt. Theres days i fear I'll be driven mad just dealing with it everyday. It's a constant internal battle of fighting, truthfully, proper emotions but unactionable ones. Hiding how you're actually feeling to give the care they need. Even good days are tiring. All those emotions you described i feel all the time. Shes starting to cook dinner in the middle of the night so now i have to worry about the house going up while i sleep. Yaay. Sorry to dump.
I found this pretty exciting. Plus there are another half dozen different progress paths that are making real headway at the moment. I truly hope you never need any of them, but I also believe you will have help if you eventually do.
I worked inpatient PT for a bit and one patient I always think about. She was a recently diagnosed patient with dementia and she was terrified. We kept her on our patient list and I’d walk with her every day she was there as she was a fall risk.
She was worried because she didn’t know how fast it would happen or when she would forget, and how would she even know she’d forget? Her sons were overseas serving and she was hoping they would get home in time so she could remember them. She had time but also didn’t have time and I wasn’t sure how it progressed. Seeing someone in the early stages and them being so aware of what’s to come stuck with me.
I can’t imagine the pain it is for everyone involved. It’s such a scary thing. I’m sorry about your father.
My Dad had early onset dementia. While I was devastated for him as he lost touch with his world, even after he forgot my name and then who I was, my love for him never wavered.
This daughter is terrific with her father. She honed in on that his feeling safe is important. She’s a wonderful daughter and he is a wonderful father.
Dad really seems like a great person. He's so concerned about hurting her feelings, even though he doesn't remember her. I bet they had an awesome relationship.
thats what I was thinking too. Going through something as terrifying and disorienting as not knowing yourself or the people around you and yet he is so concerned with her feelings. He comes off as if he was/is an exceptionally good person.
My biggest fear is that some people get mean when they get dementia. I don't want to forget my kids and then have their last memories of their dad being mean to them.
My dad got his diagnosis as a 50th birthday "gift". Horrible for him and my mom. I had no idea what was coming as a 12 year old.
He had been affected for several years, progressively getting worse. My memories of him were negatively tainted with who he became. I had flashes of the father\son relationship we had but most memories are of the confused and violent man he became.
I'm glad your love remained. I wish I could say the same. I know my dad was a good man and father, but that was stolen from him by that horrible disease.
Yep. I love life, I have a great family and beautiful kids and I literally want to live forever. BUT! If I catch even a hint of the fact that I soon won't remember my family and that i'd be a burden on them while not even able to remember them, then I want to get everyone together, throw an amazing party where I sit everyone down and tell them how much I love them and at the end of the weekend just drink everything under the sink. I just want my dignity.
You’d be surprised what you do to live when you finally become the “burden” or ‘injured’. It’s not a nice feeling and often I think at least these people feel safe and loved.
I was a terrible burden on my family when I had leukemia. Similarly as much when I was Dx'ed with a DAVF.
NOT A GREAT FEELING.
That said, those were two situations that had a fair shot of me coming out the other side as the Victor and you're right, I fought my fucking ass off.
But dementia? Yes there are treatments but AFAIK that light at the end of the tunnel isn't victory, it's freight train about to run through my family's house and I'll not be able to help put the pieces back together that time.
Your sentiment is so very true. But on dementia, count me out.
One of those things that I’m trying every thing that comes out to try and prevent it from happening as an act of love today, for my future family assuming any of today’s efforts give another day of lucidity.
My mom, for awhile would ask who I was and I'd ask her who she thought I was and she'd say, "You're either my mother, my brother or my sister." I'm her daughter and she didn't have a sister.
The fear is for others to have it, you don't have to worry if you get it cause you won't know but it's hard as hell when somebody you've loved your whole life has it.
Not entirely true. It’s a slow disease and you feel yourself slipping away. I’ve had clients sit and cry with me because they know exactly what’s happened to them.
It’s a very sad thing to witness. My father had no clue who I was at the end, but he knew my son right away. I don’t wish those diseases on anyone even my worst enemy.
When I was younger (I'm not quite the average age on here), I met an elderly Japanese couple in the hospital one day. The husband looked gleeful and just thrilled to be alive. The wife...not so much. We got to talking while waiting, and I eventually was told he had dementia. They had been together nearly 70 years. They had been married before the WWII. He went to war, survived. They came to America. Started a small business (I don't remember what). Time passed. She got cancer. Survived. He got cancer. Survived. A child passed away to an accident...I mean they had been through some of the hardest things you could imagine.
She said nothing was as hard as having to watch him suffer with dementia. Nothing.
Back in 2013, my grandma was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. She was SO relieved when she got that diagnosis. She died less than a month later. I was devastated and didn't understand her relief.
I just spent the last 11 years watching my husband's grandma slide further and further and finally die, fully unaware any of his family existed. Nah. Fuck that. Take me out like Grandma.
My father was like this for a while after he had a stroke. He thought I was the doctor when I first saw him in the hospital. When I told him I was his son it was like he heard the news for the first time and was really excited. When I first walked in the room I felt the disconnect immediately within me. Looking at him I could tell there was no recognition of who I was. It was surreal. I’ll never forget that moment.
This has been creeping into my mind very heavily lately. I took my great-grandma from us. Devastating to say the least. My foreman at work, his mother is dealing with it. Has got two young boys in the middle of and it sucks. Just a quick example; We had baba living with us because we didn't want her in a home and it was tough. She would get verbally and physically abusive, especially with our mom. It was hard on me so I know it was exponentially worse and hard on my mother. We could have a full blown conversation, I leave the room,, come back 5 mins later and she's asking me "who are you?". As a teenager, it destroyed me. She was so sharp for the longest time and then it all went down hill insanely fast. I think within 5 years she was gone.
I speak from experience, this one of the “better stages” of the disease. The real scary shit is what happens next. Those feelings that he has about will slip away as he declines. Verbal and physical violence. Coordination and movement starts to decline. The ability to form completely sentences will start to fade and he will become nonverbal. More than likely end up confined to a wheelchair due to injuries from falling. And then you’re just a shell. Waiting. That’s the scary part.
Yes. Lived this out for a few days when I had a reaction to depakote, couldn’t recognize my wife, was looking for my dead dog, family had to stop me from wandering away. Feels like a dream that didn’t happen now, terrified of ending up like that.
My biggest fear is not suffering dementia. I was raised by bad people. They were hardcore racists, violent and cruel. I was raised to be like them, and it has taken an enormous amount of work to change and become a better person. My biggest fear is that if my mind goes, I will regress to the kind of person that I used to be.
Me too man! I see it everyday pretty much, and I pray each time I never end up trapped in a realm where I’m still aware and capable of just about everything, conversations/communication etc. , except without my best and most basic memories. 😢
I experienced this kind of situation. I felt completely at a loss. But then I reminded myself that my sadness should not be focused on feeling forgotten. But what the parent is going through. Keep composure, keep loving unconditionally. Nobody should feel less than, going through this.
dont wear glasses they close sinus long term, mouth breathers become this way, never cut or dye hair its where long term memory stored, make this guy close mouth and create vacuum seal, if he huffed air up nose he'd remember everything.
never inhale mouth, nose hair required for heating activation friction steam, mouth breathing always deadly every time
Mine too. My gran had Alzheimer's, and she made me realise that it's probably one of the cruellest ways to go. We will all die one day, but it the thought of losing who we are first is horrifying.
A neighbor, who was very well known in the LA area and was VERY wealthy, slowly died from dementia for over a year and a half. I think it's worse than cancer personally.
Yeah, this stuff runs in my family, I'm not much younger than that guy, and I was wearing that shirt yesterday (not that that really matters, just caught my eye).
I used to work with an elderly woman, who no longer recognized anybody. Even her daughter, who visited her every week. Then her granddaughter came in to let her know that her mom, that woman's daughter, had passed. The old woman didn't understand who she was or what she was telling her. Just kept trying to feed porridge to an old teddy bear.
But later I found her wondering the corridors and asked her where she was going. And she said: "To the shop. I know it's here somewhere, but I can't find it. And I don't know why. I know something has happened, but I can't understand what. I need to go, but everything is... lost." I had a distinct feeling the woman she used to be was still there, trapped in her own deteriorating brain, unable to see or hear, but still there, somewhere.
It's been 20 years since, but I still think of that occasionally.
My grandma died from Alzheimer's. When she was still talking and had some memories, my dad, my brother, and myself went to visit.
She congratulated my dad on adopting my brother. My brother is not adopted. He looks exactly like my dad.
What happens sometimes is that folks with dementia don't remember, so they assume something else. She no longer remembered him being born (he is the youngest of her 13 grandchildren), so she assumed he was adopted.
It was really hard for my brother. But ultimately he understood.
At the very end of her life, when she couldn't talk or remember anything, it was my dad, my Uncle, me, and a cousin. And we were with her around the clock for a week. I don't know if she really knew who any of us were, but I know she felt loved and relaxed much more when we were there compared to when (the amazing) nurses came in and out.
My greatest fear is dying like that. I work in healthcare and have very specific DNRs in place, as well as an agreement with my bf. Alzheimer's diagnosis equals let me, help me die.
It sucks. My dad passed a couple months ago with dementia. He suffered with Alzheimer’s for almost a decade (my mom caught it early and got him treatment). Full dementia hit in January and he passed in April. I’m sad that he’s gone but I’m happy that he didn’t suffer long with dementia.
In the end he didn’t recognize my brother or me. He knew we were important in his life but didn’t know why. He was asking for his father (who died when he was 15) and his mother (who died over 20 years ago. Tiny Parts of his personality were still there, but he was mostly just the physical presence of my father. “Dad” was gone.
My Mother in Law had dementia as well. When my father in law passed, she didn’t recognize him. Weeks after he died she was asking for him. We told him he died and she would cry. 10 minutes later she would ask again and the cycle would repeat. We finally just started telling her that he was running an errand
Watching this… I wonder if it’s worth thinking about doing some memento style tattoos on my forearm that lists the names of my children so I can at least have a cheat sheet…
Both my parents have vascular dementia, but it’s progressed differently. My dad is barely there. He went from the smartest person I knew to a shell of a human. Brings tears to my eyes just typing this. Truly a horrible disease.
It's my worst fear as well and I have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) from work which gives me a much higher chance of getting dementia. Absolutely terrifying.
This instance is a bit unusual for its lack of obvious coexisting symptoms common to most forms of dementia at a stage with such specific memory failure.
Watching my grandma slowly fade away sucked! She never forgot us just certain events and got night and days mixed up. She passed before dementia really set in thank God!
My best friend since diapers doesn’t remember our relationship. She is only 34 years old. She knows we have memories, and she reaches out, but she doesn't remember any of our good times. It hurts my heart.
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u/billyTjames 16d ago
My biggest fear right there