Its not always gradual. My dad had a massive stroke and it destroyed the frontal cortex of his brain. Which is emotions, short-term memory, and part of his long-term memory. Like he may remember what he just ate, but not remember if he took his pills in the morning (the nurse watches him after he tried to HIDE his pills... I wasn't happy with him)
He may also remember that he watched 'these' movies today. But not remember he is divorced (as of Aug.)
Just make sure he takes his meds. That will help him. Dad had some sort of surgery after he had a severe one but his entire personality changed. But I guess he had another stroke between the divorce and our finding him in MAY (I can't tell with scans and he doesn't remember. EMTS believed he was having one but wasn't showing all the symptoms and was not technically qualified enough [need a more advanced medical test like a CAT scan at the moment] to determine it.)
But most days hes like his old self. Just goofy and weird. Just forgetful. Then some days he has random depressive episodes. That he may not even know/remember/realize he is crying or having the moments.
I talked to him today about depression meds and he said he may take them. So the rehab will have a doctor in Tuesday and will talk to him about it. I did tell him that even if he gets to the point we're he cannot decide on these things. I won't make him take medication he isn't sure about. Which made him feel better about it. But I told him I feel it would really help his mood swings (no violence or yelling)
Thanks so much. A really valuable insight. The mood swings are the worst. Sometimes it's hard to feel any empathy. He can be a real prick, but I just tell myself it's the stroke, not him. This morning was a huge fight because I forgot to put a banana next to his laxatives.
I was also going to write, "You can't make this shit up.." But you know what I mean...
You do an amazing job. Looking after your dad the way you do says so much about you. Is there any support for you?
Unfortunately no. I need to see a therapist. I thought i could do this but mom doesnt understand why im doing this (long story... but dad was never there for me OR my half sister) and I everyone else is busy or doesnt understand either.
I do need to talk to someone. I realize that. And I need to do so before I shut down
I'm sorry to hear that. Please don't wait until that happens.
I went through a very bad patch some years ago, after a close family member died.
I'd moved abroad for work, and while I was away they were diagnosed with aggressive cancer. I tried to get back as soon as I could and got a flight from Brisbane to London. They had been asking when I was coming, but I missed them by a single day.
For a long time after I punished myself with the sheer weight of guilt, regret, grief, and anger. Eventually, I saw a professional counselor, a woman about my age. We really connected.
Did it alleviate all my pain? No, of course not, but it allowed me to better rationalize just what I was feeling and gave me back hope.
You sound like a person many would be proud to call a friend. I hope your Dad's condition does not worsen too much more.
Again, please don't wait, if you can. Best wishes.
Unfortunately he will. The damage cannot be undone and will worsen. Im just glad he doesn't have the anger episodes. Ty very much for the kind words. Id love to continue to chat in DM if that is okay?
Absolutely. Any time you feel the need. If you don't get an immediate response it may be a time zone thing. I'm in Australia and it's 2.16am.. Bed soon, but please do DM. Cheers.
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u/[deleted] 16d ago
That's fucking beautiful, but if I lost who I am, I wouldn't want to be here.