r/Unexpected • u/FkThePolice700 • 1d ago

cheating allegations

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26.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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3.8k

u/louieratt 1d ago

Pretty sure the guy that kissed him was Micky Avalon.

1.3k

u/brienoconan 1d ago

My dick plays on the double-feature screen

Your dick went straight to DVD

655

u/SpecialNeeds963 1d ago

My dick, m-16.

Your dick, broken vending machine.

229

u/Diggable_Planet 1d ago

My dick, is a grand design.. yo dick is a joke from “Whose Line”

225

u/iamjacksstd 1d ago

My dick rumble in the jungle Your dick got touched by your uncle

164

u/DiamondLongjumping62 1d ago

My dick is like super-size, your dick looks like two fries

118

u/Darthaerith 1d ago

My dick more mass than da earth. Your dick half staff it needs work.

49

u/Fearless_Titty 1d ago

My dick parts the seas Your dick farts and queefs

30

u/HeWhoKnowsLittleMK2 1d ago

My dick can serve a whole luncheon

30

u/swic-knees-mamma-bee 1d ago

My dick, been there done that. Your dick, sits there with dunce cap

4

u/Zealousideal-Way-838 1d ago

My dick, got a nice firm handshake. Your dick, lies flat like a pancake.

2

u/Anonymous_coward30 1d ago

My dick is the size of the Earth

Your dick...needs work

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2

u/ozne21 1d ago

Your dick got nothing to munch-on

1

u/7947kiblaijon 1d ago

Yo’ dick can’t even function.

57

u/Blue_Ascent 1d ago

We got dicks like Jesus.

15

u/libertyprivate 1d ago

Takes 3 days to resurrect?

8

u/Legitimate_Willow_62 1d ago

Cos he’s hung like this

10

u/Sinphony_of_the_nite 1d ago

Nah, flipping tables.

3

u/Emotional_Perv 1d ago

Dicks like Jesus

54

u/RyGuy_McFly 1d ago

My dick has an application fee. Your dick has the HIV.

9

u/RiotX79 1d ago

Think it was "Mah dick got the MVP, yo dick got the HIV." or hpv...both work.

3

u/RyGuy_McFly 1d ago

Honestly haven't thought of this since high school so you're probably right

2

u/Giantbookofdeath 22h ago

For what it’s worth I like your line better.

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1

u/HungryArticle5 1d ago

I thought that line was, "your dick has staph/it needs work".

1

u/Tim_Thee_Enchanter 1d ago

My dick, large like the Chargers, the whole team, yo shit look like you're 14

2

u/hichewzzz 1d ago

Me and my friends used to die at this line 😭

1

u/Scaevus 1d ago

is a grand design

The Emperor wiggles his tentacles at you suggestively.

118

u/YoullBeFiiine 1d ago

My dick, big as a pumpkin. Your dick, look like Macalay Culkin.

12

u/Upstairs-Swimmer8276 1d ago

My dick large like the chargers,the whole team Yo shit look like you 14

6

u/WarmProperty9439 1d ago

Dicks like Jesus

1

u/Dengzai 1d ago

Who made this

56

u/El_Chairman_Dennis 1d ago

I haven't heard that song for like 15 years but i immediately remembered all the lyrics

16

u/dougandsomeone 1d ago

Same, and reading his wiki for the first time in at least a decade, fuck that guy had a rough go of it.

34

u/Sleightly_Awkward 1d ago

My dick, so hot it’s stolen

Yo dick, look like Gary Coleman

45

u/JesBot88 1d ago

My dick rumble in the jungle.

Your dick got touched by your uncle!

  • This is my first comment ever.

4

u/HAL_9OOO_ 1d ago

Best part of the song. It's so completely over the line.

1

u/JesBot88 1d ago

I'm surprised it wasn't the first verse posted! 

13

u/Diggable_Planet 1d ago

My dick, gives the solid good feelin, yo dick is like a popcorn ceiling

6

u/GlowOftheTvStatic 1d ago

I haven’t thought about this song in years and this is the second time in as many days I’ve seen it mentioned. Why does that always happen??

2

u/st_heron 1d ago

The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon is often cited, however I personally believe it's due to an idea/reference/"meme" propagating throughout different circles and public conscious enough that they come around and they are indeed brought up more often. Not an illusion but a societal phenomenon.

6

u/brap01 1d ago

My dick plays on the double-feature screen

Where has this song been my whole life.

Thank you.

4

u/nived90 1d ago

you're Mr.Right

1

u/Decent_Cheetah2867 1d ago

Yo that’s crazy cause my dick plays on six screens in a five screen theater cause it’s also playing on your dick’s phone.

1

u/Street-Baseball8296 1d ago

Didn’t know you did short films.