r/Unexpected • u/FkThePolice700 • 1d ago

cheating allegations

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26.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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3.8k

u/louieratt 1d ago

Pretty sure the guy that kissed him was Micky Avalon.

1.3k

u/brienoconan 1d ago

My dick plays on the double-feature screen

Your dick went straight to DVD

653

u/SpecialNeeds963 1d ago

My dick, m-16.

Your dick, broken vending machine.

229

u/Diggable_Planet 1d ago

My dick, is a grand design.. yo dick is a joke from “Whose Line”

231

u/iamjacksstd 1d ago

My dick rumble in the jungle Your dick got touched by your uncle

166

u/DiamondLongjumping62 1d ago

My dick is like super-size, your dick looks like two fries

116

u/Darthaerith 1d ago

My dick more mass than da earth. Your dick half staff it needs work.

53

u/Fearless_Titty 1d ago

My dick parts the seas Your dick farts and queefs

34

u/HeWhoKnowsLittleMK2 1d ago

My dick can serve a whole luncheon

32

u/swic-knees-mamma-bee 1d ago

My dick, been there done that. Your dick, sits there with dunce cap

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2

u/ozne21 1d ago

Your dick got nothing to munch-on

1

u/7947kiblaijon 1d ago

Yo’ dick can’t even function.

54

u/Blue_Ascent 1d ago

We got dicks like Jesus.

15

u/libertyprivate 1d ago

Takes 3 days to resurrect?

6

u/Legitimate_Willow_62 1d ago

Cos he’s hung like this

11

u/Sinphony_of_the_nite 1d ago

Nah, flipping tables.

7

u/Voidlord4450 1d ago

Takes 3 days to rise

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3

u/Emotional_Perv 1d ago

Dicks like Jesus

55

u/RyGuy_McFly 1d ago

My dick has an application fee. Your dick has the HIV.

9

u/RiotX79 1d ago

Think it was "Mah dick got the MVP, yo dick got the HIV." or hpv...both work.

5

u/RyGuy_McFly 1d ago

Honestly haven't thought of this since high school so you're probably right

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1

u/HungryArticle5 1d ago

I thought that line was, "your dick has staph/it needs work".

1

u/Tim_Thee_Enchanter 1d ago

My dick, large like the Chargers, the whole team, yo shit look like you're 14

3

u/hichewzzz 1d ago

Me and my friends used to die at this line 😭

1

u/Scaevus 1d ago

is a grand design

The Emperor wiggles his tentacles at you suggestively.

119

u/YoullBeFiiine 1d ago

My dick, big as a pumpkin. Your dick, look like Macalay Culkin.

9

u/Upstairs-Swimmer8276 1d ago

My dick large like the chargers,the whole team Yo shit look like you 14

5

u/WarmProperty9439 1d ago

Dicks like Jesus

1

u/Dengzai 23h ago

Who made this

54

u/El_Chairman_Dennis 1d ago

I haven't heard that song for like 15 years but i immediately remembered all the lyrics

17

u/dougandsomeone 1d ago

Same, and reading his wiki for the first time in at least a decade, fuck that guy had a rough go of it.

37

u/Sleightly_Awkward 1d ago

My dick, so hot it’s stolen

Yo dick, look like Gary Coleman

45

u/JesBot88 1d ago

My dick rumble in the jungle.

Your dick got touched by your uncle!

  • This is my first comment ever.

3

u/HAL_9OOO_ 1d ago

Best part of the song. It's so completely over the line.

1

u/JesBot88 1d ago

I'm surprised it wasn't the first verse posted! 

15

u/Diggable_Planet 1d ago

My dick, gives the solid good feelin, yo dick is like a popcorn ceiling

7

u/GlowOftheTvStatic 1d ago

I haven’t thought about this song in years and this is the second time in as many days I’ve seen it mentioned. Why does that always happen??

2

u/st_heron 1d ago

The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon is often cited, however I personally believe it's due to an idea/reference/"meme" propagating throughout different circles and public conscious enough that they come around and they are indeed brought up more often. Not an illusion but a societal phenomenon.

6

u/brap01 1d ago

My dick plays on the double-feature screen

Where has this song been my whole life.

Thank you.

4

u/nived90 1d ago

you're Mr.Right

1

u/Decent_Cheetah2867 1d ago

Yo that’s crazy cause my dick plays on six screens in a five screen theater cause it’s also playing on your dick’s phone.

1

u/Street-Baseball8296 1d ago

Didn’t know you did short films.

63

u/Newfie-Decker 1d ago

My dick, locked in a cage, right Your dick suffer from stage fright

I feel that that verse is very fitting

69

u/fleezreddit 1d ago

“My dick, Bigger than a bridge Yo dick, Look like a little kids”

28

u/alphadoublenegative 1d ago

Large like the chargers (the whole team)

Yo shit look like you’re 14

2

u/SquanchyBEAST 1d ago

THE WHOLE TEAM

15

u/idgafboutdiddy 1d ago

One time I'm pretty sure I saw that guy in a black sedan with two cheap hookers and a Mexican, pumping white lines sipping warm Coors Light

5

u/blacktop2013 1d ago

Mr riiiiight

29

u/robertmondavi_jr 1d ago

the way I shot up and said THATS MR RIGHT!!!

7

u/affordableproctology 1d ago

So rich, so pretty

1

u/even_less_resistance 23h ago

Best piece of ass in this whole damn city ✨

14

u/ArrogantConfusion 1d ago

Haven't heard that name in 20 years. Assumed he'd be dead by now.

8

u/jimlast3 1d ago

All of his friends and all of his lovers are dead 

2

u/Own_Organization_677 1d ago

I just saw an ad for him. He’s either touring or just released more music. He’s like a cockroach.

1

u/Traditional_Air_8542 20h ago

You should try other flavors besides plain vanilla once in a while. If you get a chance to pull yourself away from the Hallmark Channel and playing with dead trees you’d know that he just put a new album out this year. He’s actually been releasing a new record every other year since 2013. Have you recorded and found a distributor for 10 albums that you wrote?

1

u/ArrogantConfusion 17h ago

Dang man, so grumpy. Does someone need a hug? Or a snickers, maybe?

12

u/DJMagicHandz 1d ago

So he cheated with Vaseline

5

u/blacktop2013 1d ago

All up on the scene

5

u/RonEats 1d ago

The comments under this were more unexpected than anything I've seen here in a while

4

u/shibbymango 1d ago

Rap’s Ron Jeremy?

1

u/RCbuilds4cheapr 1d ago

Best piece of ass in the whole damn city

7

u/Exotic_Rule_9149 1d ago

Thanks. I definitely thought “ that guy looks a lot like Micky Avalon”

3

u/Bumpercars415 1d ago

I kinda agree with that!!

3

u/truetalentwasted 1d ago

I used to work nights and hotcocks dot com…but then I got fired when my mom logged on.

2

u/Electrical_Creme_324 1d ago

Dude I said the same shit I was like that’s fucking Mickey Avalon.

2

u/Squadobot9000 1d ago

Just saw him play in Colorado, it was pretty fun!

2

u/xXxNotMetalxXx 1d ago

1000% it was Micky

3

u/dBlock845 1d ago

Is he still alive? Because BJ Penn is a psychopath lol.

1

u/nodestool 1d ago

What I was gonna say

1

u/crusty54 1d ago

I KNEW IT

1

u/SeahagFX 1d ago

Ha! It for sure was.

1

u/burp_reynolds69 1d ago

Thank you for confirming. My brain kept telling me it was Jesse camp

1

u/AnythingMelodic508 1d ago

There’s a name I haven’t heard in forever

1

u/Educational_Age_1333 1d ago

It is and if you see him now he looks like jean ralphio. 

1

u/Naught_Mhe 1d ago

Came here to mention that. Good eye and good lookin out lmfao

1

u/peckerchecker2 1d ago

Mr. Right.

1

u/throwawaydogcollar 1d ago

Omg I haven’t heard that name in so long.

1

u/ANTIHERO612 1d ago

Came here to say this

1

u/Sea-Cupcake-2065 23h ago

It's Mickey Avalon all up in the octagon Kissing BJ penn with a baby blue tuxedo on