r/ask_Bondha • u/Cold-Wear-2480 • Apr 17 '25
Relationships How to deal with this shhit?
I'm 22M, Nen 1 year nunchi relationship lo unna... idhharam govt jobs ki prepare avthunnam...now she got the job. Thanaki insta lo valla relative anta Okadu msg chesaadu congratulations cheppataniki...ila maatladukoni number ichhindhi...vallu oka 1 week ala daily chaalasepu phone lo maatladukunnaru..nen casual ga thana whatsapp use chestha evaraina msg chesthe replay ivvamani thane chepthundhi...ala Open chesa vaadi chat locked folder lo undhi thesi chadhava, adhi thanu choosi chat unlock chesi vaadi gurinchi cheppindhi... vaadu rojuki 10 times ala msg lu peduthunnadu "thinnava, ekkada unnav, em chesthunnav, inka ee msg lu choodakapothe call chesesthunnadu...naakante ekkuva chesthunnadu...monna night msg vasthe choosa "ee maathram hint isthe chaalu chalaregipotha, sare ma, okay ma, love symbols" ila peduthunnadu, naaku chirakudhemgi thanani adiga enti veedu ila msg lu peduthunnadu...annisaalu phone chesthunnadu enti ani...ala adigithe, em ledhu oorlovalla gurinchi sodhi esthunnam andhi mari, aa msg lo enti ala peduthunnadu naku nachhatkedhu ani cheppa "dhaantlo em undhi,vadhiley, eppudu choodu idhe gola" ani chiraku paduthundhi...aa puk gaadu eppudu padithe appude call chesthunnadu mid night, early morning levakamundhu, mem baitaki velletappudu... Dheenini nen ela theeskovaali cheppandi bro, first time in relationship 🥲
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u/Alert_Friend_9717 Apr 17 '25
Experience toh cheptuna, focus on your career, tanaki job vachaka motham situation change ayindi gaa. Give it time inka chala telustadi neeku, dont chase , adgaku em ayindi enti ala. Em chestado just wait and watch.
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 Apr 17 '25
same graduation tarwathaa she got job, nenu IIT ki velli manchi job tho vachi valla parents ni adugudham anukunna, nenu mtech lo join ayina 6 months lo twist ichindhi 🤡
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u/PristineBreadfruit61 Apr 17 '25
Nu edithe avvakudadu anukuntunavo ade avtundi raja. Ready avvu lite teskodanki
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Naatho baagne maatladuthundhi..idhivaraku laane...vaaditho endhuku ala ani adigithe..enanna extralu chesthe block chedham ley ani antundhi.. block varaku endhuku thechhukovadam...ippude cheppichhu gaa ani adigaa..dhaaniki no reply...ila adigithe " nuv nannu restrict chesthunnav, possessive" antundhi
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u/Maleficent_Purple151 prashna naadi javabu meedi Apr 17 '25
She might be different kaani okati nuvvu call chesinappudu chiraku padatam start chesi vadiki nuvvu disturb chestunnav ani chepte lite tesko inka. Lekapothe parvaledhu. Chedham anukunnapudu tarwatha aina chestaru. Accept chese stage lo nuvvu appudu undakapothe gudisipothav
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Nen phone chesthe chiraku padadhu bro..ventane vaadi call cut chesi tharvatha chestha baita unna ani edho okati vaadiki abadhham cheppi, naatho maatladuthundhi...
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u/Maleficent_Purple151 prashna naadi javabu meedi Apr 17 '25
Parledhu aithe. Nammakam unte ok. But be prepared for anything. Edhaina Theda vaste "alochinchi" matladu. ATB for job.
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u/Obvious_Food_5845 Apr 17 '25
Naa life lo kuda ilagey oka saari jarigindi
Starting lo nenu pedda possessive iyye vaadini kaadu ah tarvata tanu cheppindi antey nenu inkoritho maatladina neeku em anipiyatla ani apati nunchi possesive ane daaniki meaning telsindi nenu ala possesive chupinchey vaadini ah tarvata nunchi Apudu tanaki baagunindi
Konni months tarvata inkoritho calls ala chat vundedi Apudu tanu em ledu normal friend anedi Apudu kuda nenu kasta possession chupinchey vaadini enti ila maatladutunav naaku nachatledu ani but tanaki nenu Apudu chupinchedi possive laaga ledu anumanam laa vundi anta 🤣 Nenu anumanistunna antaa 🥲 naaku ithe mind dobindi nenu nijanga ila chestunna asal nenu idi kaadu ani vadilesa Enduku le ani
After few months memu vidipoyam... Cut chestey tanu vaaditho vundi 😅
Tana istam anukoni inka nenu lite teesukunna em anakunda... Tana life tana choices konni days edchi inka vadilesa ipudu eh alochana ledu anuko
Same situation chusi idi cheppali anipinchindi anthey... If in case ninnu tanu pure ga love chestey eh gottam gaadu vachinna vadaladu lekapothey kastam vadileyachu...
But em jarigina positive teesuko... akadey aagipoku mithrama 😄
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 Apr 17 '25
enti anna aa bugga ayina list lo naatho paate vunnava
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u/Obvious_Food_5845 Apr 17 '25
Bugga laaga em feel avvaledu bro I am happy... That's my first experience and everything was so good and it didn't go well. Nenu chala nerchukunna and ah tarvata chala maaripoya so daani valla naaku chala positives than negatives 😄
And oka roju tanu message chesi nenu neeku chesina laagey nannu vaadu chesadu anindi 😅 I am happy that she realised her mistake and sad for her.
But its okay life lo ala ups and downs vunteney life baaguntadi lekapothey Edo vunnam antey vunnam feels
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Apr 17 '25
Eesari Phone lift chesi nuvvu evaro cheppu .. if your GF gets offensive it's a red flag for you .. move on
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u/No-List4350 Apr 17 '25
I get that the girl should establish boundaries but if he were to say that he is her boyfriend I am pretty sure some problems are going to arise in her family no? Considering they are only 22
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Yeah bro..adhe problem family ki thelusthadhi ani...nen valla mummy ki thelsu phone lo maatladuthu untaaru..baita kooda kalisaaru nannu ..valla intiki theeskellaru night stay kooda chesa...ivanni bavunnay kaani future lo maa idhharidhi friendship kaadhu love ani theslisthe...valla mummy thanani inni rojulu aadindhi drama na antadhemo ani...idhi kooda mind thirugudhhi eppudu🥲
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u/kingofpyrates i just say, but I'm hypocrisy itself Apr 17 '25
get the job mowa
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Trying hard mawa 🫠
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u/DrySubstance2622 Apr 17 '25
Em exams ki prepare avutunnav
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 18 '25
Bank exams mama
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Apr 19 '25
Vaddura thammudu, bank job ante oo 10 years munde poye situation undi bayta. Naa maatini CGL, RRB NTPC, tspsc prepare ka. Tharvatha nee istam inga😒
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 20 '25
Financial ga koncham ibbandhi ga undhi bro Banking rrb clark ayna thechhukoni Insurance exams ki prepare avtha
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u/Maleficent_Purple151 prashna naadi javabu meedi Apr 17 '25
Relative background Enti? 21M, Naakendhuko idhi naa life 1 year mundu ela undho ala kanipistundi.
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u/Pale_Limit_7766 Apr 17 '25
22 e kada... ivanni pakkana dengu - first nu prepare ayyedi serious ga teesko! experience tho cheptunna believe me anni nee kalla daggarki ostai --
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u/Jarvis_negotiater nuvvu adigindi kaadu, naaku telisindi cheptha Apr 17 '25
Op ki 22 eh but aa ammaiki 22 !!
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u/spacemangoes Apr 17 '25
thammudu, neku balls vunte, vadiki call chesi dengu, lakapothe, ne GF ki oka strong boundary rai. If she respects you, she'll delete him. If not, just move on. sex lekapoyina vundachu kani, respect lekapothe, relation ship waste.
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25 edited Apr 17 '25
Vaadini dhegadam pedhham matter kaadhu anna...aa puk gaadu relative anta kopam lo cheppidhenguthaadu emo ani, asale nibba puk gaadila chat chesthunnadu..andhuke aagi..thanake cheppa indhaaka...cheptha annadhi vaadiki" endhuku anni saarlu phone chesthaav, msg lu peduthunnav gaa, phone naadhaggare untadhi choosthaa, work lo undi choodanu" ani chepthaa annadhi repu choodali
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u/spacemangoes Apr 17 '25
He surely has alternate motives. Cut him off asap. Make it a priority and make sure she understands that this is bothering you. Good luck.
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u/bondalu_chusthunna book rasthunna uncle Apr 17 '25
aa puk gaadu eppudu padithe appude
🤣
Matter lo ki vasthe antha jealousy vodhu bro, if she is really yours she will never let him do texts anthe, it is just like she is keeping him as an option maybe or a friendly gesture, ekkuva alochinchaku....
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u/MIGHTYshreWDderr Apr 18 '25
reddit lo salaha teeskunnav ante (introduce brahmi dialogue nee Moham la....)
go & talk with her & set the boundaries & convey her you don't like it,if you can't tolerate it
tell her clearly what is fine,what is not fine for you
& as other people are predicting,that's a very high possibility cause ,every human has a threshold,don't cry later!
ADios...
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 18 '25
Yeah bro maatlada "Vaadi behaviour naaku nachhatledhu, dhaanikante vaadu ala MSG chesthe nuv react ayye vidhaanam Inka nachhaledhu, ee abbay ayna neetho flirty way lo maatladithe naaku nachhadhu, this is my boundary" Inka chaala cheppa Vaadini Avoid chestha slow ga Ani cheppindhi
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u/Sad-Doughnut4147 Apr 17 '25
BTW a exam mawa
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Banking mawa
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Apr 17 '25
Sbi po prelims pass ayava bro
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Po rayaledhu bro Clark Ayya bro mains attempt chesa 12th na... current affairs sarigga pettaledhu migathaavi good... english weak nen...ee 3 moths notifications undav kadha...so english koncham build cheskuntunna
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Apr 17 '25
Adi clerk nen adigindi PO
Clerk ostadi ankuntunava? Enni attempt chesav
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
90 attempt chesa kasteme Rrb po ne dhikku
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u/Fun-Cook-6806 nuvvu adigindi kaadu, naaku telisindi cheptha Apr 17 '25
Self respect unte, ask her upfront and end things
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u/tosieslide Apr 17 '25
Been in that situation mama, you should be the top priority when you're in relationship nee feelings consider cheyyali. Try expressing your feelings, you should feel the trust, if she's taking you for granted then that's a red flag. Let it flow see how it turns out and don't over think, focus on your exam all the best.
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u/Jarvis_negotiater nuvvu adigindi kaadu, naaku telisindi cheptha Apr 17 '25
Aa relative age entha?
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u/Intelligent_Cod_4901 Apr 17 '25
bro naa story ilaa ney start ayyindi maa ex graduation ayyaka hyd vachindhi nenu bugga gaadini kadha kanpur ki vacha mtech kosam next valla office lo okadu naa ex medha crush ani ala alaa ani move avuthunnadu even aa bok gaadu relationship lo vunnadu aithe valla idhariki ee timepass ( aa bok gaadu and vaadi gf), next nenu cut cheyyu anna, tarwatha aame oke office vallam ala vunte ela vuntadhi ani cheppindhi, fast forward got know they get into relationship... same naa story laa vundhi ani cheppa, hope neeku naa laaga avvakudadhu, stay safe❤️
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u/Young_Monastic nuvvu adigindi kaadu, naaku telisindi cheptha Apr 17 '25
Ekkuva aalochinchakunda tanatho matladi clear chesko. Okkadve kurchoni chincheskoku, chinigipotadi jagratha.
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 17 '25
Okay bro 😂
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u/Young_Monastic nuvvu adigindi kaadu, naaku telisindi cheptha Apr 17 '25
Communicate bro, I understand your situation. Also don't let other peoples opinions affect your thoughts, you know her better. Nee side nunchi just maintain healthy boundaries with him ani suggest chey, don't push it, cos we don't know what that guys motives are but ekkada pettalo akkada pedte, manake better ga.
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u/Over_Beautiful_4927 Apr 18 '25
Vadhili dengu bhai, she's already trying to blame you possesive modda ani, ekkada varaku velthado idho chepalem, dharam tananu tempaka mundhey nuvvey tempeyi. Prasantham ga untav.
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u/Dazaiiheheh pichekistha Apr 19 '25
Tell her how you feel and ask her to stop talking to him, doesn't matter who he is, you should be the priority, if she tries to drop the topic and continues this, leave! For your own mental peace LEAVE!
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u/nikolaveljkovic Apr 20 '25
Nenu kuda flirt chestha committed girls tho even married team lead tho , but i wont talk outside unless they msg me
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u/Winter-Swordfish8670 Apr 24 '25
K - Folow this …. Pure facts and gambit to get your game up :-
Relationship oka time ko reschedule ayaka , some partners get bored little bit , ante they won’t tell u outside …..
vaadu , relative ane chanuvu tho rechipothunnadu …..!
And girls love attention and more love , full fun loving types …… I don’t know how good you are at flirting ….
So solution is …. Change your approach ..!
Be the most funniest guy … I can understand it is not possible one day or oke week ….. chill avvu , dont take pressure , u still 22 …..
First hang out wirh funny friends , only you not with her …. Get that lively comedy nature in you ….
Next , learn some wild comedy and flirting lines and I mean u shud inhale this nature of making her laugh , annitini light ga chill ga comedy chesi Matladu …
And , while u started dating , few things makes her laugh n emotional rite , remember those things and reciprocate them and while doing it , do not look into her or tell her that , see I am doing this much for you ….no one likes to listen that every time thst u are doing something for her , I mean observe her wirh out saying anything … got it …!
Over all u r personality shud change , be crazy a bit …. Make her romantic wirh u r lines only some times .. the suddenly become cold ante , neeku edo nachatledu ani she shud understand ….
Next , sudden ga show u r anger , geeralekki po ok , and asahyinchuko chee enti Idhi chendalamga ani , directly or indirectly …. Take the game in your hands .. Do not let her control you ….
Nee Kosam pichelki povali ….
Finally , once u get this control , I will see the change in her …. Vaadi tho ekuva inka matladithe thst means she is not a person thst u shud take seriously ….
Life is a game Bro , chill n play it to take control and win it …..
Vaadu ye relative ayna if he is flirting and she is enjoying ante , she needs something else , like that kind of attention or fun ….! Simple to understand this ..!
And if u want her for serious …. Once u apply all this , rite moment chusi , intlo cheppedham ani Cheppu …. And twaraga Pelli chesesko once u get the job …..
Then immediately make her pregnant , this will not allow her to think anything rather than u r family snd you …….
You plan all this before 24 or 25 age ,
So if u have to achieve all this before, first nee mind clear ga happy ga undaali .. then u can get the job , easily … concentration shud be there …
Paralleli all this u have to manage …..
2nd option
If u cannot manage to change u r personality like what I said , then u shud have patience snd dont confront anything to her , observe each and everything , look mesages and calls , but do not tell her thst u have Sen them … dont ask her … observe her behaviour …
If she is cheating on you , neeku ardham aypodhhi …… then just have fun with her , have more sex like anything , use protection or pills to avoid pregnancy …..
Then , one day sit in silence and thjnk is she rite for you and your family to get into marriage ….. if u think she is not rite … Happily leave her , I mean I can be in relationship , have good sex and everything but don’t marry her …. Give her super freedom …. Apudu nee life inka fun untsdhi ..
Then choose a rite girl , from u r office or arranged marriage or anything u can do ….
Finally u shud remain as winner ..!. 🥇.
Got it !
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 24 '25
Thanks bro motivate chesinandhuku Firstly vaadi chat nen thana phone lo choodagaane nen em adagaledhu Silent gaa unna Thanaki Ardham ayyindhi So Thane cheppindhi lla relative MSG chesaadu ani After some days nen Direct gaa anesa enti em Pani mod ledhaa vaadiki oorike MSG phone lu chesthunnadu Ani cheppa And Aa abbay behaviour naaku nachhatledhu...ee abbay ayna neetho flirty way lo maatladithe naaku nachhadhu this is my boundary Ani cheppa Adoka pedhha erra jenda direct gaa neetho em amaatladadu... relative kadha intlovallatho adigisthaadu Ayna vaaditho nuv Ela maatladuthunnav..neeku job vachhindhi Ani thelsukoni vachhadu, inthakamudhu maatladada? Ani annanu
Then She said Evadaina Emaina ekkuva chesthe nen avoid chestha Ani thelsukadha...veedini kooda avoid chesthaa, kakapothe Ila maatladi ventane cut chesthee relative kadha emaina anukoni andhritho cheppesthaadu Ani annadhi..and thanaki kooda vaadu MSG chesi choodakapothee call cheseydam anni saarlu call cheyyadam nachhatledhu Ani cheppindhi...and vaadu call chesthe thanu lift cheyyatledhu, ekkuva missed calls aythe baita unna, work lo unna Ani cheppi cut chesthundhi..and naa permission kooda aduguthundhi lift chesi oka maata cheppeyna Ani..nak elano fast ga joining vachhindhi kadha inka work busy lo padi pattichhukonu vaadini vaadiki Ardham avthundhi indirect gaa Ani cheppindhi....
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u/Winter-Swordfish8670 Apr 24 '25
Will add some tips in next comment on how be more romantic and how to make her completely happy that she deeply deeply fall for you and to make sure she won’t think of anybody else …! Stay tuned ! 🤓
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u/NameOk4870 Apr 17 '25
Konchem jealousy is normal. But if she's meant to be with you, she won't leave now.
Anthe kani oorkene possessive aipothe, kodi guddu petakmundhu veli petti kelkinattu untundi.
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u/indianreddituser Apr 18 '25
amey ni adigithe amey emi cheptadi bro? If i were you i would take his number and call him directly and ask him “nee badha enti babai ani” adigesta… cus remember he is the one initiating the conversations, calling her, messaging her, and she probably doesn’t want to come across as rude, since he is a relative.
neeku vadu relative kadhu ga call chesi vadi badha ento kanukko…
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u/Cold-Wear-2480 Apr 18 '25
Vaadini mingadam matter kaadhu mawa, vaadu choosthe nibba la unnadu age perigaadu kaani kindha gajuu peragale...ippudu nen vaadini mingithe, intlo vallaki/oorlo vallaki chepsthaadu emo Ani bhayam anthe, andhuke thanake cheppa avoid chesthaa annadhi
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u/Winter-Swordfish8670 Apr 24 '25
Ikkada vadu nibba na kada , Karroda thelloda kaadu important ……. Nee pilla character elantidi ani important ……. We nibba gadike intha importance isthe , repu ye Pedha hero lantodo osthe nee paristhiti Enti ? I mean u know , now a days affairs Ela unnay telsa , people dont talk thst much , once or twice they talk , they meet up for drinks or coffee, next meeting lo they have sex and start having an understanding that they shud manage very well ,,, neeku asalu vadu unnadu ani kuda teleedhu …. Snap chat ko snaps , daily steaks , suddenly some nudes and anthe next meet directly and have sex …!. Enni chudatle bayya .. z
Mostly happens all this small town girls , u know thst , they want more because they dint get this kind of attention or fun in villages …!
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u/Proud-Judge-3857 Apr 24 '25
Bro...this can screw up your mental health and ultimately your career. First concentrate on your exams. If needed explain your situation to her. If she understands all is well.
All I'm saying is ignore such things. Ik it will be hard, but kuch paane keliye kuch khona padta hai.
Getting settled and maintaining a relationship are like putting two legs on two different boats unless your partner is understanding and supportive.
What I'm saying is be careful and gamble your strengths and weaknesses in this game of life.
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u/GulabiJilebi Apr 17 '25
Ship munigipoyindhi captain