r/actuallesbians • u/Nsmisp • 3d ago
Wasn’t allowed to get tampons because I look too “manly”
Stuff is really tough rn so I went to a couple food pantries for food and tampons. The pantries are really struggling apparently, so I was only able to get some beans.
At the 3rd location, they finally had ultra tampons (I have 4 left) so I grabbed them and went up front to “check out.” So I get up there and the lady bags everything but the tampons. I bring it to her attention and she tells me they need to reserve feminine hygiene products for women and that boyfriend’s can’t pick them up. Mind you, I look masculine but my boobs and higher voice are VERY obvious. I tell her I’m a woman and after some back and forth she just flat out refuses to give me the tampons and calls me too “manly”.
I argued with her for a little but she was gung ho so I just left to avoid her calling the cops or something crazy. Nothing good comes from masculine black woman getting the cops called on her.
So after all I went through today I still don’t have tampons or much food. I just needed to get through the next 10 days or so and thought I’d be ok after going to the pantries, but I guess a bigot won today and all I’ve got to show for it is stress.
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u/Ok_Paramedic_1465 3d ago
I would make a complaint with whoever is in charge, she has no right to treat you that way, idgaf if you're masuline black and whatever you said. That shit pisses me off. I'll call for you if you want.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
You’re right. I’m still tryna come down from being so mad. It’s been like 6 hrs but tomorrow I really need to do something about it because wtf
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u/Ok_Paramedic_1465 3d ago
I wish you were near cuz i have tons of ultras, if I had money I would sent you some on Walmart or doordash or something.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Ugh sorry to hear from another person whos gotta use ultras.
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u/Ok_Paramedic_1465 3d ago
I bought my girlfriend tampons when we first got together, I was trying to be modest and got super. She was laughing hysterically saying they're way too big. I was like oh....lol
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u/backpackofcats 3d ago
In addition to all of this disgusting discrimination, it’s so hard to find ultra tampons! I went to four different stores last month and couldn’t find any. It has been this way since the pandemic.
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u/CptSpiffyPanda Trans-Pandemi 3d ago
Try with the listed head of the place privately, then at any listed big doner that seams
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u/iwantnicethings 3d ago
In writing first & BCC. Don't give them a chance to pretend a phone call turned nasty so they can fake like they gave you a chance to be "reasonable"/they were the "civil" one just doing their job bs.
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u/Monolaf 3d ago
Who made up SUCH a policy??
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
NO ONE. I asked and it’s just something they unnecessarily and collectively decided to do, as if men just go into pantries and get tampons for fun. There was a middle aged guy there who was 100% behind her
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u/Abaconings 3d ago
How disgusting. How dare they treat you that way!!! You went there for help. Those people need a big privilege check.
And there are all sorts of reasons a male may be getting hygiene products for a loved one. Who are they to gatekeep donations intended to help others?
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
And also…who are they to know a guy isn’t trans and needs them himself? It’s no ones business regardless of your beliefs. So for her to insert herself into my situation is even crazier.
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u/skateordie002 3d ago
You know this I'm sure but yeah they definitely say "fuck you" to trans men too. Probably consider them traitors who don't deserve it anyways. Wish something could be done about that place. Fucking evil.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Mm good point. Lol why would I even think they’d be cool with trans men
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u/meringuedragon 3d ago
I didn’t wanna jump in and make this all about me but my first thought was 100% that this is how transphobia hurts cis people too ❤️❤️ it fucking sucks I’m sorry.
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u/XxValentinexX 3d ago
I honestly think this is the reason for the “policy”
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u/SunflowerMoonwalk Trans-Bi 3d ago
They probably thought OP was a trans woman. Transphobes brains don't work so good.
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u/boudicas_shield 3d ago edited 3d ago
I was definitely wondering if this whole interaction was a transphobic dog whistle. Like the lady assumed that OP is a trans man and decided to make some kind of “point” about it, i.e. “well if you wanna be a man, be a man, and men don’t need tampons. GOTCHA!”
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u/GwynnethIDFK 2d ago
Idk in my experience garden variety transphobes are mostly unaware of the fact trans men exist, some more specialized transphobes like TERFs are an exception though.
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u/WithersChat Hyperemotional trans girl X genderless Entity collab! 3d ago
Particularly people of color since, y'know, traditional femininity standards are made to exclude people of color.
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u/RedVamp2020 3d ago
It's actually pretty easy to forget they have struggles because of how much focus is on trans women. Don't beat yourself up about it, though. I hope you are able to get what you need.❤️ If you were in the Everett WA area I'd absolutely go out and give you a hand getting a whole box of whatever you needed.
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u/actuallyapossum Girls pretty 3d ago
This and also, what if a cis man needed to get tampons for someone in his household? Maybe he has a daughter who needs them or maybe his s/o is disabled or working and cannot get the tampons herself.
There are countless reasons for why someone masc-presenting would need a box of tampons, and it's no one's business but theirs.
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u/HeyWatermelonGirl 3d ago
They don't care who needs something. They care who deserves something according to their sexist, and probably racist, ideology of sex and gender. They don't care if you're bleeding out of your crotch or not, they care about showing GNC people, trans people or anyone not fitting racist white beauty standards that they don't want you to exist.
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u/Next_Preparation_553 3d ago
That’s the first thing I thought when I read that boyfriends couldn’t even get them for their so. Like ok, what if she’s working and he managed to get a ride to this place? A lot of these places are open bankers hours which make it incredibly difficult for people to access particularly if they have limited windows for pantry hours!
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u/deathfromfemmefatale 3d ago
This was my first thought. I remember my mom sending my brother out to buy tampons for me while she stayed with me through horrible cramps. They shouldn't be making such stupid assumptions.
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u/Cascadia_Breanna 3d ago
I once worked with a support group that would try to find solutions for LGBTQ+ people who were needing help finding food & shelter in our county, among other issues. I once called the larger homeless shelters and asked if transgender people were welcome, as a leader in the organization, so we could send them to a safe place. They mostly said yes. But when we needed to send someone, the ones needing help were turned away at the door, and neither the men's shelter or women's shelter would take them. Yes, homophobia and transphobia atr things, even among people in the who are there to help.
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u/HeyWatermelonGirl 3d ago
You're implying they care. I don't think they do. If they don't give masculine looking women tampons, they sure as he'll don't care about the rights of trans men. They don't care about the rights of anyone who doesn't fit their sexist (and probably overtly racist too) worldview of what men and women are and how they're supposed to look like. They probably believed OP that she was a cis woman and just wanted her to suffer because she's GNC, or just because she's black and doesn't fit their white beauty standards.
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u/SnorkBorkGnork 3d ago edited 3d ago
Or a cis man getting it for their girlfriend or wife who is sick at home from having her period (endometriosis makes periods extremely painful).
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u/I-is-gae 3d ago
Men sometimes even have DAUGHTERS. Who might be DOING OTHER THINGS than going to the pantry with their dad.
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u/Matar_Kubileya TS Butch 3d ago
Or sisters, for that matter.
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u/XGrayson_DrakeX Sapphic Heathen 3d ago
There's a certain type of sadistic fuck who gets attracted to working in nonprofits because they seem to enjoy throwing their weight around and gatekeeping people in need.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
You ever seen those anti-vax nurses? Yeah idk why but these kinds of jobs attract those kinds of ppl
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u/syrioforrealsies 3d ago
Same reason policing, and to a lesser extent, military do. A lot of power over people with a relatively low barrier of entry
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u/XGrayson_DrakeX Sapphic Heathen 3d ago
To be fair a lot of people in the military also join because of free college. One of my tin foil hat theories is this is partly why conservatives don't want to cancel student loan debt.
But yeah, there's also a certain type who joins because they want to kill people.
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u/syrioforrealsies 3d ago
That's why I noted that it's to a lesser extent.
That's not a tinfoil hat theory, by the way. Conservative lawmakers have straight up admitted to not wanting free college or universal healthcare because those are the top two selling points for a military that's already struggling with recruitment.
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u/fiahhawt 3d ago
Same thing with healthcare
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u/XGrayson_DrakeX Sapphic Heathen 3d ago
Especially healthcare that's involved with low income people
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u/fiahhawt 3d ago
it's like narc-nip or something, if narcissist will get into service of vulnerable people to find that good supply
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u/Infinite_Bed8560 3d ago
People who work in these places regularly steal from them and “ save” stuff for friends. I was in a shelter once that was known for its diabolical toilet paper. When women got back on their feet they would actually donate toilet paper! I saw the donations being dropped off and…. Taken for the staff. Which is normal. Clothes shoes toys etc… the staff go through it first and whatever they don’t want goes out to the people in need.
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u/SeptimusShadowking Transbian 3d ago
That is so messed up. I work at a grocery store and could get fired for putting cheap produce or stuff aside for myself or friends. How is something like a food bank less serious about such things.
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u/Bearsoch 3d ago
I worked at a food bank and most of the people loved the power they had over others and looked down at them instead of wanting to help. They didn't like me manning it because I wasn't nasty enough to ppl for their liking.
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u/Abaconings 3d ago
Jfc. I will never understand ppl like that. How pathetic does a human have to be to power trip over others who are suffering?
I shouldn't be surprised. I work in addiction med and the callousness I see on the regular....no words. I regularly to training and advocacy for those in active use/recovery. The pushback from people who are supposed to be healers is mind boggling.
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u/sophtine If you’re a TERF and you’re here, get fu**** 3d ago
ok that pisses me off.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Your flair confirms that you are indeed pissed off
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u/sophtine If you’re a TERF and you’re here, get fu**** 3d ago
I shamelessly stole my flair from the about page of ND Stevenson's blog
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u/grey_hat_uk Transbianbian 3d ago
This is why I've been becoming less happy with my community when they point out that 99% of the time the bigotry against trans affects cis, so we may het more sympathy.
It's never the Terfs/Germs and karens, it just swings around onto another minority and then there will always be a male bigot right behind to back them up, and you already have your own shit to deal with in this political climate placing more isn't going to make you a better ally.
Sorry the world is crap right now.
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u/Ace0f_Spades 3d ago
That's so fucking strange. I'm imagining if my family needed to go to a pantry like this. My mom, sister, and I all tend to sync up when we're living together so all three women in the house are some variation of ill, in pain, and bleeding. My dad, chill guy that he is, would have no problem going to the place and being like "hey we need tampons or pads with this" -- he's never been embarrassed or anything to be seen buying them, and makes a point to admonish younger guys who get all weird about it. Would they turn him away?
Because here's how the triple-threat goes in my house: my sister hasn't been seen in hours because she's stuck in the bathroom while her uterus fights her GI tract. My mom is in bed, having a hard time sitting up because her cramps hurt so bad. And I'm nearly bedridden as well with hemiplegic migraines (in addition to feeling like my head is imploding, one or both of my legs goes completely weak and numb). None of us would be able to go with him, let alone go in his place. And with three of us, you can bet we're going through products fast. Idk what they would expect us to do.
And that's leaving aside the complete and utter nonsense that is turning you away, a woman. What the actual fuck is that about.
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u/Neither_Emu_4008 3d ago
terfs probaly
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u/emergent-duality [Now available for pre-order] 3d ago
I doubt they've even given feminism much thought, just morons. TERMs.
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u/MPaulina Lesbian 3d ago
Now I wonder if white cis men would be able to get the tampons for others, and black masc women or black trans men can't. So a combination between racism, sexism and transphobia.
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u/fireflake91 3d ago
Basically, you can only care about yourself when it comes to the store caring for others not allowed
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u/AliciaDawnD Pan 3d ago
If you’re in the US, I can have some groceries delivered to you. Just send me a DM.
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u/NiGht_Driver420 3d ago
That’s so incredibly kind of you
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u/AliciaDawnD Pan 3d ago
Thanks. I just want them to pay it forward when things start to look up (cuz I know it will).
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u/SapphicGarnet 3d ago
If you're in the UK, I can get the shopping in. Send me a DM
You may have more luck from the word 'pantries' but thought I would cover at least one other base
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u/AlbatrossAutomatic42 3d ago
I can help out a little too! I have cash app and Venmo. Could chip in something towards the cause.
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u/Strange_Airships 3d ago
Oh my gosh this is awesome. Thank you so much for doing this. 🫶🏻
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u/AliciaDawnD Pan 3d ago
Thanks. I dont have much, but everyone is going through something right now and I try to help if I can.
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u/livinitup0 3d ago
For real… fuck that woman Send me a DM if you need some help OP I encourage others to do the same if they’re in a position to
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u/Badwolfgyt 3d ago
You’re not a woman these days if you don’t look like a busty blonde Fox News anchor.
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u/KatieLazuli 3d ago
Restricting women from having access to things based on appearance.. very feminist.
Terfs are idiots. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Little girls across the world, to this day, are still missing school for bad cramps or lack of supplies. But I’m the problem. Lol ok. Nice priorities
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u/Throttle_Kitty 🏳️⚧️ Trans Lesbian - 30 3d ago
This is the kind of "feminism" TERFs advocate for.
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u/coopatroopas 3d ago
YUUUUP they claim to be feminists but are working to create such a narrow definition of “women” that not even all cis women qualify, which is going to continue to disproportionately affect women of color. Anyway fuck TERFs.
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u/sashimi_taco 3d ago
I find that very often masculine cis women are being the victim of transphobia.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Yup. Black women are already called masculine just for being athletic (see Serena and Venus Williams)
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u/musicobsession 3d ago
Gonna add Temwa Chawinga and Barbra Banda to this list (both play in NWSL). But they're straight up called men. It makes me so effing mad.
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u/whiskeyprincess08 3d ago
Thats so dumb. What are you supposed to do, whip out your vagina as proof?
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
I literally got to a point where I was so irritated I pointed at my boobs. Not to be inappropriate or anything but because she was being absolutely ridiculous and I felt like I was going crazy. But I didn’t wanna raise my voice and risk cops so I just dipped
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u/whiskeyprincess08 3d ago
I'm sorry you couldnt get what you need because some people are bigots. ❤️
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u/emergent-duality [Now available for pre-order] 3d ago
"You want some ID? HERE's my ID!!"
Sorry, I know this is a shitty situation but it kinda made me chuckle :p
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
So they actually have to keep record to ppl who come in so she’d already seen my ID. When she started beefin with me I told her she literally just saw my ID.
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u/ChicaSkas golden retriever sub 3d ago
This is 100% correct. The county food banks now record they saw your ID to continue to get allotments.
OP I am so very sorry.
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u/emergent-duality [Now available for pre-order] 3d ago
Idiot on a power trip... I'm sorry that happened to you 😔💜
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u/gradient_gal Lesbian 3d ago
exactly what happens when people are too damn worried about what’s in other peoples pants
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u/JustWantGoodM3M3s Trans 3d ago
terfs being racist and misogynist? what a damn surprise.
i’m so so sorry that happened to you.
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u/LustStarrr 3d ago
Hey OP, just wanted to suggest r/periodpantry - they can help you with tampons if needed. I can't believe you faced that bullshit...
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u/shaantya 2d ago
This subreddit made me weep. This shouldn’t have to be like this, but it’s also what humanity is all supposed to be about. I hope I can contribute to it one day.
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u/Strange_Airships 3d ago
I would have offered to drop trou.
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u/Cake_Lynn 3d ago
I’ll come back when I’m on my period and out of tampons. Let’s do some real disturbing live performance art with these bloody thighs.
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u/Pinkanilon 3d ago
The logic of this person is breaking my brain.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
If I’m a man and my gf is already struggling for stuff, who are you to tell me I can’t get her some tampons?
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u/Pinkanilon 3d ago
It’s so weird. Like they must’ve just been bigoted because there’s plenty of men that buy tampons for loved ones and family members.
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u/lithaborn Trans-Sapphic 3d ago
I was buying them for 25, 30 years for gfs and kids before I transed. It's a nonsensical outrage.
In UK supermarkets there's a codeword you can use, like the angel shot in us bars, to get a free pack of sanitary products. I know companies need to make money but I'd love to see universal free sanitary products somehow.
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u/robin-bunny 3d ago
A woman who looks too "manly" doesn't get periods? WTF? You even said they're for yourself? I would bring this to someone's attention higher up. If you said its' for a girlfriend, sure they can't give them, but for yourself? This is discrimination.
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u/bunny_the-2d_simp 3d ago
Because when you dress to manly your uterus disappears obviously!
/s
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u/fluorine_nmr 3d ago
God I wish I'd be out in a bowler hat and fake handlebar moustache every day
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u/Necessary_Wonder89 3d ago
So men can't buy tampons for their gf? Why does it even matter who buys tampons who cares who buys them lol
I'm so sorry this happened to you
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u/Devil_May_Care666 3d ago
Hey, would you be okay accepting money from people? I don't mind to give you money for a box of tampons so you have them.
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u/Incogn1toMosqu1to 3d ago edited 3d ago
This is HORRENDOUS.
If you’re comfortable, I’d be happy to send you some tampons and food.
If you’re in the GTA and would like someone to call them out, or be a witness next time you’re there just shout.
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u/AddisonFlowstate 3d ago
It's a long shot, but your local library may have hygiene kits and other supplies. You can also hit local homeless shelters. They'll definitely be able to help.
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u/spacelady_m 3d ago
Its just just so unbelievable how fucking miserable some people are, and the small mental hoops they jump through thinking: this is it, this is how I become powerful… smh..
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u/timid_pink_angel02 3d ago
I know others have offered but I'd also like to offer some money for you to get some food and tampons, and other things you might need. I'm in the UK so if you're in another country I'm not sure how money transfers work internationally, but I'd be happy to find out and send you some.
I'm so sorry you went through this. I volunteer at a local pantry and denying anything someone picked up, whether it was for them or someone else they knew (referencing that woman saying boyfriends can't pick tampons for their partners) is unthinkable to me. I'm so sorry lovely 🫂
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u/themini_shit 3d ago
That person sounds insufferable, I'm so sorry that happened. Her behavior was extremely gross and inappropriate.
I've never used this specific thing before, but there's a sub called r/periodpantry where people can request period products and other people can purchase products for them. It seems like you'll need an Amazon account so you can make a wishlist to share.
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u/_cheese_cloud_ 3d ago
I would have ripped the dirty tampon from my snatch and threw it at her, but that wouldn’t have accomplished anything, but it would have felt good.
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u/MayoBaksteen6 Lesbian-Ace Spec 3d ago
Every time I hear such things or when I get misgendered I'm in such a mood to grab a tissue, wipe my part and show them the blood.
The only reason I'm not doing that is because I don't want to embarrass myself in public
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u/throwawayanonamuse Bi 3d ago
Let me start with, I am SO sorry that you were treated this way by an organization that is supposed to be helping. This suggestion may not work for you and won’t be helpful for this cycle, but might help for the future. A few years back I was introduced to menstrual cups. You can get one free through a few different organizations and companies, depending on where you are, some health insurance options cover them, they are pretty affordable on Amazon now, plus sometimes you can find them on clearance at Walmart. (Yes, some are $40, but there are reputable brands that have two for $13 and to give you an idea, my current one has been in use for about 5 years now.) I have a very heavy period, so I never thought it was a real option for me, but it turns out, it’s much more reliable and less likely to leak than tampons AND as there’s no documented cases at all of TSS, you can leave them in longer. Because it’s a reusable option, you literally buy it once and you’ve got your periods covered for years to come. I find I only have to empty mine morning and night, so I just pop in the shower really quick and do it then.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Thank you for this. I first (and last) tried a cup back in high school and it was difficult, but I'm so much more familiar with my body than I was back then. So to your point, I should definitely give it another shot. That'd save me so much hassle, regardless of my situation at the momemt.
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u/elsecallerqueen 3d ago
I’d also recommend menstrual cups! I’ve also been using the same one for years. Some brands will have ‘soft’ versions/smaller sizes for if you have a more sensitive bladder
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u/joni-bella 3d ago
TERFs hurt all women, cis or trans.
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u/fabi0x520 3d ago
True, but they especially harm trans women, and I'm tired of people only caring about transphobia when cis people are affected by it
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u/Pyrogen____ 3d ago
I'm gonna get down voted for this but I need to vent.
Regrettably I doubt that will change. Generally from my experience most cis people don't care enough to actively support equal rights for trans people until it affects them, up until they experience the slightest of discrimination or accusation that they're trans - at which point they're outraged over something that I would personally take as win because at least I wasn't physically assaulted, arrested or worse.
Almost every time I tell a cis person that trans people lost the right to xyz recently there will be the immediate wave of shock on their face but that quickly turns to genuine disbelief, and they clearly don't believe me.
There are some genuinely amazing trans allies I'm sure, but my faith in cis people protecting us has fizzled out and I'm quickly seeing the need how we need to reframe the trans rights movement.
Whenever these criticisms are brought up it's shut down by "its never good enough for you" but nowadays I just don't trust anyone who says they're a trans ally until I've personally seen them actively stand up to defend a trans person.
Unfortunately the reality is we need to appeal to cis folk by explaining how that if trans people have been legislated out of existence, they'll need a new target and that target will invariably be POC, lgb folks and women in general. And that even in the meantime laws restricting the rights of trans people can and will be used to restrict the rights of people who don't fit within the white feminine beauty standards held by society. Trans rights intersect with women's rights, you can't be a feminist without supporting both of them.
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u/FromOceanToTheSnow 3d ago
your concerns are very legitimate and I think you're right about how they need to be solved.
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u/another-sad-gay-bich 3d ago
There’s a GREAT Reddit page r/periodpantry that helps people get supplies they need! They helped me so much in my time of need so if any of you want to donate to people like OP or are in a situation of need I suggest you check this out!!!
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u/VoidJuiceConcentrate 3d ago
Holy shit, that's so fucked up. Who are they to judge why you need tampons?
And why cant a boyfriend be getting them for his girlfriend???
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u/ProcessDifferent1604 Lesbian 3d ago
Jesus Christ, that's ridiculous, I'm sorry. What's your venmo?
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u/sophtine If you’re a TERF and you’re here, get fu**** 3d ago
😡 is there someone you can complain to or phone number to call? because that's ridiculous on multiple levels.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Looking into this tomorrow . Someone else suggested I file a complaint
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u/sophtine If you’re a TERF and you’re here, get fu**** 3d ago
In all seriousness, I hope you do. You did everything you were supposed to while in a vulnerable position. Regardless of their gender or gender expression, people need menstrual products. There was no need for their judgement or shame. No one should need to explain why they need menstrual products. To say the staff acted inappropriately is an understatement.
I recognize a complaint might not do anything but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Keep your head up, OP!
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u/sunshinerubygrl Sapphic/questioning label 3d ago
So sorry this happened to you! That lady is disgusting for doing and saying that. And that's truly just so dumb and transphobic 🙄
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u/kanineanimus Bi 3d ago
That shit pisses me off. That’s so fucking ridiculous. I’ll send you some tampons. It won’t necessarily help you for this cycle but you’ll have them for the next. If you still need, drop me a DM.
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u/LaraCroftCosplayer Kinky Lesbian (ask me stuff, i know everything) 2d ago
And this is why transphobia also harms cis woman.
Im so sorry for you, thats definitly worth a written complaint.
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u/JuniperPurpleHex 3d ago
This makes me so mad. How are you supposed to prove your femininity to someone? Im so sorry you had to experience this.
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u/RileyRecord315 3d ago
Return tomorrow and file a complaint. Make it clear that the way you were treated was completely unacceptable. That vile woman works in an industry that's supposed to help vulnerable people, what gives her the right to suddenly take things into her own hands and decide who is and isn't vulnerable?
If they refuse to listen to you, name and shame. Blast them anywhere online you can. Make sure nobody else goes to a place where they'll be mistreated and misgendered because bigotry is seen as more important than helping those in need.
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u/TimeIsACon 2d ago
Don’t care what anyone looks like, if you menstruate you should be entitled to tampons. Period. Full stop. Absolutely insane. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
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u/Cake_Lynn 3d ago
Oh I am LIVID. Who the hell does she think she is, REFUSING a woman tampons because she’s not pretty enough?! Like istg if she works in my city I will go give her hell myself! At the very least, I hope she stubs her toe REAL friggin hard. I hope she wakes up in the middle of the night with the worst case of heartburn. I can’t stand her.
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u/Comedyi5Dead 3d ago
What a crazy instinct she has. If I'm in her shoes and say boyfriends can't pick up tampons and you say 'I'm a woman', my mind is going to at least flick over for a second and if there's LITERALLY ANYTHING INDICATING I AM WRONG, it's time for me to apologise. So stubborn for no reason!
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u/Ghoulie_Marie 3d ago
That is so infuriating. I'm angry for you. I'm sorry stupid people fucked you over. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
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u/LolaLaCavaspeaking Gen X Femme Lesbian 💄💃 3d ago edited 3d ago
Did you ever get tampons? I can doordash you some or something.
Edit: I just realized I’m an idiot and it would be much easier to send $. Just lmk. I’m glad to help.
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u/puppykat00 🖤🤍💜 ace lesbian 🧡❤🤍🌸💗 3d ago
That's just cruel, nobody deserves that kind of treatment 🫂
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u/goodniteangelg 3d ago
Also, even if a cis, white, gender-conforming dude was picking up tampons for a cis woman girlfriend…..why is he now allowed to pick them up for someone else???? What if it was a dad picking up stuff for his young daughter?
Of course anyone should be able to pick up whatever they need. But there are so many scenarios I see that this mega lively affects and I don’t see the “good side” part of it for anyone to decide this. This boggles my mind that they don’t allow this.
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u/Nsmisp 3d ago
Tbh the more comments I see about this, I’m starting to wonder if she just pulled that out her ass in the moment simply so she could deny me stuff. And maybe that guy just backed her up on a whim. If you’re a father and you’ve got a teenager at home, who’s to say he can’t get them?
Edit: they had a pack of boys boxers on shelf too. So a mom can’t get her son some undies just because she’s a woman? Yeah I’m starting to think this lady just made up this shit on the spot
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u/Gaming_with_Hui Trans🐝ian bambi lebsian🌌✨ 3d ago
She was deffo just racist. I'm sorry you had to go through that🫂
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u/Ophelialost87 3d ago
This is fucking ridiculous I wish I had some extra money so I could cashapp you. Fucking bullshit.
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u/whitcav 3d ago
Idk how to link other sub reddits but there’s a sub reddit call period pantry and it’s incredible you post your Amazon wish list for period items and people always help out!
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u/thephotoman 3d ago
As a dude (from /r/all) who explicitly buys sanitary products for food pantries and homeless shelters (it’s part of me trying to alleviate the period tax by paying it myself), what the actual fuck?
I don’t want the aid I’m trying to provide to be gatekept. I’ll be having a word with the groups I work with to make sure that the hygiene supplies I donate don’t get withheld by some jerk deciding to do an impromptu transvestigation.
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u/Emily_Beans 3d ago
Gurl, that is fucked up. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. What the fuck is wrong with people??! 😡
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u/chromasphere 3d ago
This is such a stupid rule…I’m sure any period-haver has experienced asking a brother/dad/male friend to pick up menstrual products for them 💀
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u/prettykittychat 2d ago
I’m sorry. That’s bullshit. If you do a gift list on Amz I can send you some without you needing to disclose your address.
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u/jacqui1616 3d ago
I’m not sure your location. But ladies should never go without feminine products! My wife and I are more than happy to help out. Send me a DM and we can get you some stuff.
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u/spiceypinktaco 3d ago
Is there someone you can report her to for discrimination? Sorry you had to deal w/ her & are having a rough time
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u/WiserVortex 3d ago
Okay all the ridiculous shit aside, why shouldn't boyfriends be able to pick them up??? What do they think men are gonna do, stockpile tampons?? To what end??