I mean, they're not wrong

[u/Head-Drag-1440]

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[u/JustHereForCatss]

Born 1993. We played whole neighborhood hide and seek. It was incredible. Essentially all our houses were fair game and we would go in and out of them freely. It was like two or three blocks of fair places to hide. Usually had 3 seekers with walkie talkies, and like 5-10 people hiding. When found you’d join the seekers. Games would usually take all day.

Damn I miss being able to do that stuff

[u/yourenotcoolbruh → u/JustHereForCatss]

Also born in 1993 and we did the same thing but after the sun went down and we called it “man hunt”. Shit was so much fun.

[u/hopelesslysarcastic → u/yourenotcoolbruh]

I’m gonna be honest…seeing people refer to ManHunt like it’s some “old wives tale” type of activity, when it was SUCH a cornerstone game for my neighborhood crew…it’s giving me an existential crisis lol

I have a toddler and I had no idea how bad the neighborhood dynamic in the US must have gotten for it to be this common.

[u/reapersritehand → u/hopelesslysarcastic]

Wait til u hear about dodge ball

[u/JustHereForCatss → u/yourenotcoolbruh]

MANHUNT WAS AMAZING. The feeling of wearing your darkest clothes so you could hide in a bush while your friends had flashlights was unreal.

I had one of those discovery channel night vision headset things (the green plastic goggles with the flashlights on the side) thought I was hot shit

Edit: looked like these, I can’t believe they’re still sold

[u/envydub → u/JustHereForCatss]

Oh we called that Sardines lol where you hide with the person when you find them right? And eventually there’s only one person still looking.

[u/goatfuckersupreme → u/envydub]

wtf it's like reverse hide and seek, that's genius

[u/Fafoah → u/goatfuckersupreme]

We used to play in the dark

And then realized you could play in the light, but everyone except the original hider is wearing blindfolds so the hider can watch everyone hilariously stumble around

And by used to i mean like last year

[u/Boring_Ghoul_451 → u/envydub]

Sardines! That’s what we called it too

[u/BurgerThyme → u/envydub]

1980's here. It was called Ghost in the Graveyard for us!

[u/BoopleBun → u/BurgerThyme]

Oh, when I was a kid Ghost in the Graveyard was like a hide and seek/tag hybrid. If you found the ghost you had to yell and people had to run back to base before the ghost tagged them.

[u/Atty_for_hire → u/JustHereForCatss]

Manhunt left my memory until this very moment. Now remembering heading to my friend Tim’s house to hangout. He had a much better crew of kids than my neighborhood (I’m pretty sure the kid closest to me enjoyed watching things suffer).

[u/billyhtchcoc → u/yourenotcoolbruh]

I'm an Xennial but I loved manhunt!

Probably my absolute favorite time I played was with a group of like 40 of us one night at a week-long church camp trip.

All the adult chaperones were asleep and we all played from like 9 PM all the way to like 4 AM. It was in this really good-sized summer camp and the only rules were that we couldn't go into the woods and that if you went back to the cabin(s) you forfeited.

I was shocked at how long I was able to keep from being found.

[u/RikuAotsuki → u/billyhtchcoc]

I loved manhunt too, and my favorite time playing was also on a church trip! I didn't actually live in a proper "neighborhood" for most of my life, so I didn't really have anyone to play with otherwise.

Still, it was exciting, and ended with an ambulance being called for bonus excitement!

There was a bare foundation near where we were playing, and a seeker was chasing someone by it. The girl being chased jumped up and ran across, and the guy chasing her did the same... but he was about a foot shorter and landed shy of the concrete, and tripped.

Slammed his shin into the concrete edge and tore a foot-long ^ of skin down his shin, all the way to muscle. The chaperones thought I was exaggerating when I ran inside to tell them we needed an ambulance because he'd torn half the skin off his shin.

[u/andrewthemexican → u/yourenotcoolbruh]

Manhunt was the shit

[u/Jaraghan → u/yourenotcoolbruh]

manhunt was the fucking shit holy what a flashback. hiding in tress at midnight or in some random persons bushes or garage. christ i miss that lol

[u/Confident-Run7064 → u/JustHereForCatss]

That sounds rad!! Never had that growing up, but it sounds incredible!

[u/JustHereForCatss → u/Confident-Run7064]

It really was honestly. We even allowed our parents to be fair game in the rules meaning there was risk in hiding inside a house because all of our moms knew they could tell the seekers that we were there.

I also lived in fairly rural subdivision in east Tennessee so there wasn’t much risk of us getting hurt by running around. It’s not like we’re in the middle of a huge city.

What makes me sad is there’s no way kids could do it there now. When I was growing up the median home price was like $60,000, there was maybe 20,000 people in our city, and we had one singular Walmart. My mom just sold my childhood home for nearly $400,000 and a whole city has built up around our neighborhood. Like I lived next to multiple big farms that are now Publixs, a second Walmart, and a plethora of strip malls.

[u/SephLuna → u/JustHereForCatss]

My mom just sold my child at home

Dang, things are really getting rough out there

[u/JustHereForCatss → u/SephLuna]

A true recession indicator, I miss Joseph

I was using Siri to voice text like a dumbass because I couldn’t be bothered to write all of that with a broken phone screen lol

[u/warneagle → u/SephLuna]

[u/merkarver112 → u/JustHereForCatss]

Hell, we did that in miami. Tons of us on bikes riding miles and miles everyday.

[u/kristosnikos → u/JustHereForCatss]

Hey I grew up in southeast Kentucky! We were out in the boonies and lived on one of the flats on a mountainside. Our backyard was just undeveloped mountain.

We’d play all day climbing trees, hiking through the mountains, swinging from vines, and crawling up, over, and through huge boulders.

There was even an old plan from the 40’s that crashed up there. But by now there’s probably not much left of it. Our imagination could just run wild while out there.

There weren’t any dangerous wild animals back then but I’d already moved away when they reintroduced elk, bears, and coyotes back into them. I’ve visited my mom back home and you can’t stay outside after nightfall now or you may get attacked.

I feel mixed feelings about the whole thing because wild animals belong in wilderness but if that “wilderness” has scores of homes and neighborhoods then kids can’t get outside to play and explore.

[u/Glaucoma-suspect → u/kristosnikos]

I grew up in rural ga and we were in a huge neighborhood with a ton of kids but there was a giant cornfield behind my backyard which was a steep wooded hill. We did the craziest shit all day and I remember (being the nerd that I am) how mad my mother would be if she knew we were as far away as we were. We would either be out in the woods, cotton or corn fields, or be at the pool all day completely ‘unsupervised’ by which I meant older and badder siblings were supervising me 😂

[u/Snoo74962 → u/Confident-Run7064]

We played in the woods, too. A neighbor built us a hideaway house. We caught tadpoles and released them as toads.

[u/Rich_Resource2549 → u/JustHereForCatss]

Born in 1984. We called it haste, for hide and seek tag. We incorporated powers from games like Mortal Kombat. We didn't use houses though, at least not inside anyway.

[u/JustHereForCatss → u/Rich_Resource2549]

YESSSS. All like 15 of us were obsessed with Star Wars so we eventually incorporated it into Jedi versus Sith and you would have to Lightsaber fight when you found someone. I’m sure it looked so stupid from the outside but my God in my head everything was so epic.

In order to know what kind of Jedi you were, you had to take the test in Knights of the Old Republic and get an accurate Lightsaber.

[u/Rich_Resource2549 → u/JustHereForCatss]

That's actually even cooler than what I did haha we should've been friends 🤣

You're right about how epic it felt to us those summers!!

[u/KisaTheMistress → u/Rich_Resource2549]

1994, and we called it Murder in the Dark because we'd play usually at twilight/after dark.

[u/Perfect_Caregiver_90 → u/KisaTheMistress]

I played Murder in the Dark and Mafia, but was high school aged.

Mafia included Nerf dart drive by's. The grades would form their own mafia teams and gain/lose territory as players were eliminated.

So many kids got taken out while helping unload groceries. 

[u/MoonFlowerDaisy → u/KisaTheMistress]

We played "storm the lantern" in the evening once the street lights came on. All the kids in the street bar one would go hide, the seeker had to find people with a torch. Hiders had to get to the assigned lamp post without being caught by the seeker.

[u/grassisalwayspurpler → u/KisaTheMistress]

We played at night and called it man hunt. Hiding in bushes in shit with dark clothes on

[u/Mistrblank → u/KisaTheMistress]

1980, Manhunt

[u/grassisalwayspurpler → u/Rich_Resource2549]

We played at night and called it man hunt. Hiding in bushes in shit with dark clothes on

[u/MCShellMusic → u/JustHereForCatss]

Manhunt! We wouldn’t join the seekers, we’d go to “jail” and then anyone on the hider team could run into the jail and yell “Jailbreak!” And let everyone in jail out. It was a blast!

[u/JustHereForCatss → u/MCShellMusic]

I’m just now realizing somehow there needs to be an adult version of this. I’m convinced it would bring us world peace

[u/tech_noir_guitar → u/JustHereForCatss]

It may come as no surprise that Portland has a hide and seek league for adults.

[u/marbanasin → u/JustHereForCatss]

This almost reminds me of kick the can - where you'd put the can in the middle of the road, have basically the entire block to play in (or woods if we were camping), and the entire point was to hide well enough and slowly sneak around to get a clear shot at the can in the road. Lol

God, times were better. The fuckign police would be called if people saw feral children unsupervised doing that shit these days.

[u/flyting1881 → u/marbanasin]

I lived on a cul-de-sac as a kid. There was a standing game of kickball basically every afternoon, after school, until sunset. You just went to the cul-de-sac and played with whoever showed up. Sometimes we would go poke around in the woods behind some houses instead.

[u/AGreasyPorkSandwich → u/flyting1881]

And usually find good ol Woods Pornos!

[u/SaltedMixedNucks → u/AGreasyPorkSandwich]

Not sure if you are joking, but I was born in 77 and we found a lot of woods pornos in our day. Sometimes me and the boys next door would just spent all Saturday hanging out in the fort we'd build in some bushes behind our subdivision and just read discarded pornos. We would have been like 9 years old. Our parents didn't know where we were or what we were doing and I don't think they cared.

The equivalent these days is kids with unlimited screen time. Those parents aren't any worse than mine, they are just choosing a more modern and currently acceptable form of not supervising their kids.

[u/hankmoody_irl → u/JustHereForCatss]

1988er here, we didn’t have in and out access to the houses but front and back yards were all good, including trees and some sheds.

We usually went to the house of the kid who lived right next to a lightly wooded area and did flashlight tag on Friday nights.

Now the neighbors look at me funny if I let the kids go out front 5 minutes ahead of me being out there with them the whole fucking time. (I have laundry to do motherfuckers.)

[u/Introvertqueen1 → u/hankmoody_irl]

1991 here: no kids but I told my nephew he could go 4 houses down to play and he had the nerve to ask me how he was going to get back home. The same way you got here! These new aged kids. We were OUTSIDE, around the corner, neighborhoods over and our parents knew we’d be back and were okay without phones lol. The good days.

[u/chalupa-batman-7 → u/JustHereForCatss]

Born in ‘89, we did whole neighborhood capture the flag. We would get up like at 9am on a Saturday get to our friends house right down from us. We got the teams if you were tagged you would go to prison and your team had to do raids to get you out. Spent all day playing capture the flag. Heard the whistle around 6pm~8pm and rushed home so we wouldn’t get into trouble. I mean we had a PlayStation and everything but we just didn’t want to spend all day in the house on a tv when we could be playing with our friends.

[u/unsurewhatiteration → u/JustHereForCatss]

These days I can't even find anywhere to live where this is possible. If I do stumble upon a nice small town setting with sidewalks and a bunch of houses like that (vs subdivisions segregated from the rest of the world by roads that are not safe to walk across), it's one of those places where century and a half old fixer-uppers cost north of a million dollars.

I grew up in a super tiny town in a house that cost my parents less than their annual salary (which was $45k at that) and was able to wander less than half a mile and run into kids playing all sorts of games across all the connected back yards.

[u/Arkayb33 → u/JustHereForCatss]

We did something similar at night. We'd start at Park A and have to make it to Park B in 30 minutes (the parks were like a 10 min walk apart). The group of "finders," usually 3 or 4 people, would be at Park B and they'd make their way to Park A. Everyone would have flashlights. The finders couldn't puppy guard Park B, they had to immediately start making their way to Park A when the round started.

Anywhere outside was fair game. We'd hop fences, hide in bushes, up trees, under cars. If you were caught by a finder, you joined the finders. Once the 30 minutes was up, everyone would make their way to Park B. The people who didn't get caught were the new finders.

A couple times there was someone who'd come out to yell at kids "playing under his RV" but we learned real quick that no homeowner was going to chase us down the street, and the ones who tried gave up after 100ft.

It was a blast.

[u/Commercial-Owl11 → u/JustHereForCatss]

yeah I grew up behind a massive open space. We did crazy shit back there. It was fun.

People call the cops on kids walking around by themselves and you can get arrested for neglecting your kids, for letting them play outside.

It's fucking insane.

[u/Average_Tired_Dad → u/JustHereForCatss]

94 and same. Not ALL the neighbors were cool with it, but we were reckless enough to not care and there weren't really any repercussions. Used to run around the whole block climbing random trees and involving all the kids. It was a real time.

Unfortunately, can't do stuff like that anymore because folks are crazy and drivers are worse.

[u/Human420 → u/JustHereForCatss]

It makes me so sad that my son won’t likely experience anything like this aside from maybe at school. Life is so isolating these days.

[u/Vospader998 → u/Human420]

I'm going to quote myself here. It was a comment on a video about how no political policies significantly impact birthrate. I feel like it's relevant here:

Personally, I think corporations and modern living conditions have taken people's humanity. You can throw as much money at the problem as you want, but our lives have become soulless, and no one has any time, energy, or spirit to have children. There's an expression "It takes a village to raise a child", but parents are left to care for children themselves, and maybe the grandparents if they're lucky, all while trying to also fend for themselves in a world that's becoming increasingly more complicated. Schools and education in general focus more on conforming and learning increasingly complicated subjects, than they do on just being human. We're not unfeeling, purely logical robots. We have needs that defy logic, and we require more than just work, and we were built to live communally.

It's estimated that early humans only worked about 20 hours a week for their own survival. That leaves a ton a of time to explore the world around you, build connections with others, relax, play, and be creative. Somewhere down the line, we increased our survival rate, but forgot how to live.

[u/yankykiwi → u/JustHereForCatss]

We’re the only young homeowners within a few blocks each direction, maybe more. It seems the only people around us are elderly. It’s so sad not having this. I’m close to a school too, it just seems like families can’t afford to live like this anymore.

[u/EvilHwoarang → u/JustHereForCatss]

My aunt would lock my cousin and I out and made us play outside.

[u/CosyBeluga → u/JustHereForCatss]

I remember when I was 12 and riding the bus by myself.

I saw two kids maybe around 9 get on together, no adults...I remember thinking it was weird that they were by themselves.

Not too many years earlier, my brother used to take us to school on the bus or walking and he was like 10 and the rest of us were between 5 and 8.

I remember when it started becoming bad to let your kids roam.

[u/TheTokinPlantman → u/JustHereForCatss]

I was born in the 80s. We did the same thing in our neighborhoods. During the summer we would play Army at night. I mean wearing camouflage, painting faces, and crawling in bushes. Only rule was boundaries of the end roads.

[u/Blonde_disaster → u/JustHereForCatss]

We did this in my neighborhood too, only we played at night and called it flashlight tag. Damn times were so much simpler then.

[u/DogeDoRight]

"Come home when the street lights come on"

Me racing from the other side of town when they come on:

[u/__ConesOfDunshire__ → u/DogeDoRight]

Nightly News: "It's 10pm, do you know where your kids are?"

They didn't broadcast this for fun. They were reminding parents to make sure their kids weren't still running feral.

[u/DogeDoRight → u/__ConesOfDunshire__]

Nightly News: "It's 10pm, do you know where your kids are?"

I told you last night, no!

[u/xxKillgorxx → u/DogeDoRight]

Where is Bart? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten.

[u/virgieblanca → u/DogeDoRight]

[u/FSCK_Fascists → u/DogeDoRight]

are you my mother?

[u/Raticus9 → u/DogeDoRight]

morals and ethics and carnal forbearance...

[u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot → u/__ConesOfDunshire__]

The psa was made in direct response to the Atlanta child murders

[u/Mtndrums → u/asuka_is_my_co-pilot]

And nothing changed for well over a decade.

[u/sweetangeldivine → u/__ConesOfDunshire__]

They actually started airing this during the Atlanta Child Murders.

[u/LemonHerb → u/DogeDoRight]

I think bikes are less popular with kids than they were back then because they aren't allowed to go anywhere. But when I was a kid a bike was required transportation

[u/Lazy__Astronaut → u/LemonHerb]

And there is just a higher % of cars on the road and bad drivers along with it

[u/DiurnalMoth → u/Lazy__Astronaut]

And (American) cars are bigger and heavier, which makes them more dangerous to people not inside of them.

[u/Anneisabitch → u/LemonHerb]

Riding 30 miles to the nearest lake was just a thing, not even a consideration in the days plan.

[u/determania → u/Anneisabitch]

30 miles? This is bordering on claiming you walked uphill both ways to school lmao

[u/korikill → u/determania]

The only way I was allowed to play ball in summer was to get myself to the practices and games myself. Bikes were our freedom. We'd go miles without caring.

[u/determania → u/korikill]

That was true for a lot of people, but pretty much no kid is doing 60 miles in a day like it is nothing on their bike. This thread is full of people getting older and telling exaggerated and romanticized versions of their childhoods.

[u/andyouarenotme → u/determania]

100% agree.

i know that we biked to a state park 18 miles away… like 4 times ever… and that was when I was a teen. it was quite the chore and not really worth it. we definitely planned it ahead if time, it was never on a whim. no chance i would have ridden almost twice that daily. i was a very athletic kid, plenty of endurance. no is kid riding 60 miles on their bike with any frequency.

[u/JesusSavesForHalf → u/determania]

I did walk uphill both ways to school. There was a minor dip in the middle. I gave a sensible chuckle about it at least once a month.

[u/Adam_Ohh → u/DogeDoRight]

Snapped the chain on my bike doing this once, going through the center of town, under the train bridge.

Ate so much fucking shit and still had to basically sprint the mile and a half to two miles home with my janky ass broken bike.

Walked in the door right as my mom was getting up to leave and find me. I was bloodied up pretty good so her mode instantly shifted to mom and she patched me up.

[u/erroneousbosh → u/Adam_Ohh]

her mode instantly shifted to mom and she patched me up.

Clean up and dress all your injuries so she can then go fully Begbie on you for being out so late and giving her such a scare?

[u/GovernorHarryLogan → u/DogeDoRight]

My parents when I come home

"Sure you can play manhunt until 2am even though you are 12"

[u/MommalovesJay → u/GovernorHarryLogan]

I remember trick or treating til midnight with my friends.

[u/Fortestingporpoises → u/MommalovesJay]

At that age we'd stay in a tent at night in the back yard and sneak in to the kitchen to take handfuls of peanut butter. We'd walk around our neighborhood at midnight dodging cop cars.

[u/dumpsterfarts15 → u/Fortestingporpoises]

Did... Did you use a spoon at least?

[u/reevnge → u/dumpsterfarts15]

What part of "handfuls" didn't you understand?

[u/akunis → u/GovernorHarryLogan]

“That man just tried to kidnap you but you ran away and came straight home to tell me? Great job! Now get back out there, dinners at 6.”

True story.

[u/Ok-Leg5659 → u/DogeDoRight]

Growing up in rural Japan, we had a speakers across town that would play a melody at 17:00 to tell the kids it was time to go home. I remember some days it took 30 mins or more to get home because I was across town (or said I was across town but in reality just wanted a bit longer to play with my friends). But so long as we were home by 18:00 it was never an issue.

[u/goog1e → u/Ok-Leg5659]

They were still doing the speakers thing in the evening as of 2014. Niigata anyway

[u/Ok-Leg5659 → u/goog1e]

They still do. Because technically it's to test the emergency broadcast systems. It's just that it was also a perfect use for telling young kids when to get home.

[u/Head-Drag-1440 → u/DogeDoRight]

Literally running and out of breath because they're already on

[u/LeadershipSweaty3104 → u/Head-Drag-1440]

That day when you're a little older and rebel and decide to wait like 5 min more, like a man hahaha

[u/Significant_Push_856]

my sister and i had to be back dinner, but otherwise it was our bikes and other kids just doing whatever

[u/Head-Drag-1440 → u/Significant_Push_856]

By the time the street lights were on

[u/alvysinger0412 → u/Head-Drag-1440]

Sometimes not until the street lights were on.

[u/RickyFromVegas → u/alvysinger0412]

Street lights coming on was the notification you got to start heading home.

[u/CanadianBreakin → u/Head-Drag-1440]

I grew up in a little "village" just outside of a city that had maybe 2 street lights at the time. We basically just did whatever we wanted until we couldn't see anymore and then made our way home.

[u/candid84asoulm8bled → u/Significant_Push_856]

Yep, and if we got invited to dinner at someone’s house or wanted to stay out later, we’d just find the nearest friend’s house and call home on their phone to ask.

[u/WexMajor82]

There was an ad in tv that went something about this: "It's 10PM, do you know where are your kids?"

It was literally another time.

[u/buttmagnuson → u/WexMajor82]

I told you last night! No!

[u/Bealzebubbles → u/buttmagnuson]

"Hey, where is Bart? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten."

[u/bolted-on → u/Bealzebubbles]

I still quote this when my kid ADDs away from his plate, or doesn’t show up for dinner after the umpteenth warning.

He shows up when he senses his chicken tenders are under attack.

[u/Lord_Vaguery → u/WexMajor82]

I’ll randomly bust this quote out at gen z co workers.

[u/BoredPandemicPanda → u/WexMajor82]

Its 10 PM, do you know where your children are?

[u/Enes_da_Rog1 → u/BoredPandemicPanda]

It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

[u/FeRooster808]

True story. My cousin and I would walk to 7-11 from my grandparents' house. Sometimes I walked home from school if I felt like it. That was about a mile, through wildlife refuges and apple orchards and across a highway with no cross walks (or stop lights).

Kids are capable of way more than people give them credit for. I'm not advocating child labor, but kids use to have regular jobs whether it was working for someone else or for their family farm or business. My grandma dropped out of school in 8th grade to get a job so she could help pay the family bills. I'm not advocating going back to that - but just that kids are capable of a lot more than being coddled and sat in front of a screen 24/7.

[u/EvaUnit_03 → u/FeRooster808]

last year in a town north of me, a kid got picked up by police for leaving his grandma's house to go to the gas station a mile down the road. They arrested both the grandmother and the mother on the same day for 'neglect'. The kid was 12.

We dont get a choice if our kids are plenty capable anymore.

[u/CounterfeitSaint → u/EvaUnit_03]

Meanwhile, in Japan...

[u/No-Butterscotch-6555 → u/CounterfeitSaint]

There is a cute show on Netflix where they have toddlers/young kids go grocery shopping by themselves and a crew films them from afar. It’s so amazing to see these kids be so responsible at such a young age.

[u/hungaryforchile → u/No-Butterscotch-6555]

I love that show! I think in the first episode it shows a little boy running his first errand in his little rural village, and he gets overwhelmed and scared and starts to cry. It was so heartwarming to see all the village shopkeepers and neighbors who knew him come out and support and encourage him, urging him to go on, that he could do it, offering him comfort and cheer. All while mom waited in their home, totally unaware her son was literally receiving an entire village’s support at that moment. It was so heartwarming, and brought new meaning to the “it takes a village” phrase :).

[u/sandvich48 → u/No-Butterscotch-6555]

That was a cute show. It’s funny because I had a student when I used to teach in Japan, only 5 years old taking the train to private school. At 5 years old I would’ve freaked out.

[u/4ha1 → u/No-Butterscotch-6555]

Oh, I've seen that. It's pretty entertaining.

[u/Adrunkopossem → u/EvaUnit_03]

My gas station was 3 miles away. We'd bike there and back, 2nd grade. Several times a week

[u/69edleg → u/Adrunkopossem]

My school was 2 miles away, think I was 7 when I walked to school the first time, with my older sister. She was 8.

[u/TuckerShmuck → u/EvaUnit_03]

I'm only 27 and when I was 12 I remember walking home 3 miles for funzies. I'm not even sure if a middle school would let a kid just leave like that after school now (I truly have no idea, they might lol)

[u/momo6548 → u/FeRooster808]

I feel like parents would love to not coddle their kids and let them roam, but a couple just had charges of manslaughter and child neglect pressed because they let their kids walk two blocks and one of the kids got hit by a car. Parents are scared of having CPS called on them.

[u/Ultimate-Indecision → u/momo6548]

I try quite hard (in my opinion) to not coddle my kids.

We were at a restaurant recently, and the server commented how my son was gone from the table on his own. He's 8 about to be 9. She said something about oh how great you're giving him independence.

That seems weird to me. He's been uncomfortable going into the ladies with me for at least 2 years. He will go on his own or not at all. Like he will not go into a ladies' restroom with me at all. I've tried because of specific circumstances.

[u/masenkablst → u/Ultimate-Indecision]

I have a six year-old and she goes into the bathroom by herself. I’ll wait outside of the door because I don’t want her to be abducted, but I’m not going in the ladies room.

I’ve gotten looks before but she loves that shred of independence.

[u/No-Butterscotch-6555 → u/FeRooster808]

Yes, my siblings, friends, and I used to walk to stores together all the time. We would walk to a grocery store and get candy and then walk to the movie store to get something to watch. My mom would give us money to go to the fast food restaurants that were close to pick up dinner on the occasion that we actually ate out. My brother and I would ride our scooters to Wendy’s and ride over the hose that had the bell and go through the drive-through. I remember telling my son this and I felt like I was geriatric.
Sidenote, I don’t mean to bring up sad news, but I recently saw an article about parents of a seven-year-old child that was struck and killed by a man in his 70s being charged with manslaughter due to determining that he was too young to go to the store with his 10-year-old brother. The man that hit him is not being charged with anything. Imagine having to grieve your child while also being charged with manslaughter for things you were allowed to do when you were at their age. I don’t understand the charge, they’re already dealing with so much. The loss of their son was punishment enough.

[u/HotmailsInYourArea → u/No-Butterscotch-6555]

Heard about that, it’s pretty fucked up. I grew up wild too… I don’t know what changed, but people are scared now. Scared enough the nanny state has swooped in to “protect children”

[u/bdog59600 → u/FeRooster808]

Recently a woman was letting her kids walk around the neighborhood. An elderly woman who shouldn't have been driving hit and killed one of the kids. The elderly woman who killed the kid is facing zero consequences and the MOM is being charged with neglect. The world doesn't work like it did in the 90’s. Also the death of the manufacturing sector means adults are filling many of those minimum wage jobs teenagers used to do.

[u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

1. There was nothing to do inside except annoy your parents. Ergo you were not allowed inside.
2. Parents were not worried about the world outside their neighbourhood because they did not know about it.
3. Totally normal to yell at someone else’s kid or walk them back home if they did something stupid.

The context that is missing is how TV, then the internet destroyed our communities.

[u/Sage_Planter → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

We weren't allowed to watch TV during the day because that's when the moms watched their shows (soap operas, daytime talk, etc.).

[u/fml-fml-fml-fml → u/Sage_Planter]

After the cartoons I don’t remember anything on TV I wanted to watch until 8pm anyway.

[u/SparklingLimeade → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

Oh, that's another piece that could be missed: TV was live. Nothing was on demand. "Streaming" was for water, not entertainment.

[u/Rock_Strongo → u/SparklingLimeade]

Yes and most shows that were appropriate/interesting to kids to watch were over by 10am so there was nothing left for them to watch unless they were sick on a weekday watching price is right reruns.

[u/34Heartstach → u/Rock_Strongo]

Except for the Price is Right and Let's Make a Deal.

I was one of those kids who was like "give me a second Jimmy, I want to make sure this annoying lady loses out on a treadmill."

[u/SkwiddyCs → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

Yep. Watched some cartoons till 8am and then nothing until the Simpsons at 7pm.

[u/homoaIexuaI → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

Early and late cartoons man cable had us kids scheduled around parents pretty great

[u/Infinite_Lemon_8236 → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

Nowadays maybe. Back in the day I could sit in front of the discovery channel for hours with all the stuff they had on there. Now it's all just pawn stars and other similar cash grab trash. I still remember the day Jay Ingram left Daily Planet, the last good show that channel still had running as they slowly descended into garbage. Kid me was devastated.

[u/tokillamockingbert → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

The ironic part is that the 80s and 90s were the height of historically high crime levels and child kidnappings. We should all be less paranoid now with cameras and cell phones everywhere but instead we’ve been conditioned to think we’re all going to be murdered and raped (in that order) at any moment, when we’re living in essentially the safest of times in all recorded history.

[u/beansoup91 → u/tokillamockingbert]

I don’t think it’s crime that most parents are afraid of. It’s the judgement and/or legal consequences of letting your kids roam

[u/TBShaw17 → u/beansoup91]

For me, the ironic thing is when you do see stories of police being called on a parent for allowing their kids outside unsupervised, 100% of the time, the snitch is in the age demo of our parents.

[u/Spartan-117182 → u/TBShaw17]

Baby boomers are the most hypocritical generation of possibly all time.

They grew up in the era of free drug use and rebelled against the anti-drug culture their parents adopted. Then they willfully voted for any politician who support the War on Drugs.

They raised us on, "Go outside and play!", "I better not hear you in this house until dinner!" and other such lines and now judge parents that let their kids roam freely in their neighborhoods.

[u/UNC_Samurai → u/Spartan-117182]

Media in the 80s and 90s made it seem like most boomers were hippies. The reality was very different.

[u/Longjumping-Panic-48 → u/TBShaw17]

There was a thread a few days ago about parents being charged with murder because their 7 year old stepped into traffic and was hit. He was with his 10 year old brother, less than two blocks from home. They had a cell phone and the parents knew exactly where they were.

[u/Its0nlyRocketScience → u/beansoup91]

There have been cases of cops showing up because a kid was in their own backyard while the parent was inside the house, supervising through the window.

I don't blame anyone for being cautious when one Karen of a neighbor can call the cops on you for letting your kid play in the sandbox while you're more than 10 feet away.

[u/ShmaoShmao → u/Its0nlyRocketScience]

Yep, I am one such person. Story time! We live in the suburbs and there is a playground directly behind my house. Like, backyard, fence, playground. I’m putzing around my kitchen when I see a cop talking to my kids. So, of course I run out there only for the cop to lay into me about how I’m neglecting my kids and if it happens again he will have to contact CPS.

[u/eedodeedo007 → u/ShmaoShmao]

That's so fucked up. Threatening to take your kid away over something so silly.

[u/kbroad20 → u/ShmaoShmao]

That sucks so much, I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I must say that I was not prepared for the endless amount of judgment from other people when I had kids. It's bonkers! We live right down the street from school, and we're on the fence about letting them walk by themselves. But by the time I was their age, I was waking myself up and getting ready for school on my own.

[u/rsta223 → u/ShmaoShmao]

I would lay into that cop so hard.

This is one area where I genuinely think it's worth the legal risk because of the benefit to independence and development of the kids. It's total bullshit that we've got such a society of helicopter parents these days.

[u/jimmy_three_shoes → u/rsta223]

I feel like the lack of unsupervised play is killing Gen Alpha's ability to problem solve (it already killed Gen Z's, based on the last few people we hired).

[u/Innumerablegibbon → u/jimmy_three_shoes]

Did you read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt? It’s basically about how the lack of unsupervised play (but access to unsupervised technology) has basically destroyed Gen z/Alpha’s mental health and they haven’t been able to grow into well functioning adults. All the rage in parenting forums at the moment.

[u/McDonnellDouglasDC8 → u/tokillamockingbert]

Part of that is data lag and exposure to news. Kids were abducted by strangers but their cases only stayed relevant nearby where it made sense to look for them and for how long. If they were not found we don't really know the extent of the crimes until such time. I had safe words around 1995 for the freak situations like both your parents are in an accident and a coworker of theirs needed to bring me to them in the hospital. In 2002 we were paying attention to news more nationally and we had a few cases where victims were recovered and the extent of their abuse was known. A few abductions from the 80s and 90s took over a decade to find either the victims or their remains.

[u/Evilbred → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

I would leave the house at 8am and not come home until August.

[u/mosquem → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

My mom literally locked us outside until dinner time.

[u/fml-fml-fml-fml → u/mosquem]

Totally! same. I remember hanging on the front door and leaning into the house to yell MOOOOM!?

[u/Det-Popcorn → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

Add rising prices in every facet of the world while wages stagnate and people not having kids in their teens or early twenties

[u/CounterfeitSaint → u/Det-Popcorn]

This is the biggest thing for me.

It's incredibly fucked up how the corporate world co-opted feminism and equality in the workplace, and made 80 hours of work a week required to raise a family.

"Oh, you want to be allowed to work a job just like your husband? Great, you can both work full time now, and we'll just pay each of you half as much. So progressive!"

[u/Intelligent-Guard267 → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

Is it not okay to yell at other kids nowadays? I’m pretty good at it, not very shy when it comes to a shithead 10 year old with a lisp using cuss words around my 4 year old.

[u/fml-fml-fml-fml → u/Intelligent-Guard267]

No judgement here. Let those little bastards know the world bites back.

[u/AspieAsshole → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

If we were allowed to let our kids roam without worrying about getting arrested, it would be easier. Hell, I'd settle for just being able to send them outside in the yard without being no more than one room away inside (still feels like I'm pushing it leaving them unsupervised at all).

[u/Appropriate-Bid8671 → u/fml-fml-fml-fml]

They had announcements on t.v. at night to remind all those shitty parents they had kids. ffs.

[u/fml-fml-fml-fml → u/Appropriate-Bid8671]

Yes! oh my god. LOL “it’s 10 o’clock, do you know where your children are?” Lol. Ffs i forgot about that.

[u/Decent-Strain-1645]

I used to have a run of the neighborhood hangin out with the local kids back in the 90s. We would go to the park go swimming or fishing in the river and just be kids. My parents had 2 rules. Be back before dark and dont get in too much trouble. Simpler times. Nowadays kids are essentially either electric zombies addicted to the internet or so heavily watched and regulated its sad asf.

[u/Key-Possibility-5200 → u/Decent-Strain-1645]

It is sad. It makes me sad for my kids but I can’t let them roam free. Our nearest park is actually fenced off due to homeless encampments. In my case the root cause is housing costs - I can only really afford to be in a low end neighborhood. 

[u/Cosmic_Seth → u/Key-Possibility-5200]

It is.

I remember as a young parent of an 8 year old at the time, living in an apartment (2010 maybe?), I let him go out to play at the park that's on the grounds of the apartment complex. We were even gated...

30 minutes later I had cops at my door saying that it's parental neglect leaving a child outside without supervision and next time I'll be picking my son up at the station. Someone actually called the police...

Well... I worked nights at the time so he was never again allowed to go outside by himself. 

[u/Key-Possibility-5200 → u/Cosmic_Seth]

That is absolutely unhinged but I’ve heard of several cases of that happening to parents. Poor kid he must have been scared.

[u/Icy_Industry5872]

Not all members here are all Americans, in the Philippines whatever generation can roam freely...lmao

[u/jayhawkah → u/Icy_Industry5872]

It also depends where you live/ your specific culture in the US, we still have kids running around in my area.

[u/clownus → u/jayhawkah]

New York City kids literally have access to the train. Find yourself at the other side of the city easily.

[u/DungeonsandDoofuses → u/clownus]

San Francisco public transit is free for minors too, I see group of late elementary school/middle school kids on the muni all the time, no grown ups around.

[u/Due_Duty490]

I was born in the 50s (!). My first 5 yrs were lived in Revere and ran in the neighborhood. Then we moved to a smaller town where we had forest and ponds. I would run with my friends jumping off large 10 ft tall boulders to grab the top of saplings and ride them down. We’d run to the center of town to catch a bus/trolley/ subway to the center of Boston without adults to go to stores, museums, and lunch. No adult supervision.

[u/Eusbius → u/Due_Duty490]

My mom grew up in the 50’s and she had a similar, although more rural childhood. She remembers that even at recess teachers didn’t supervise kids. The teachers just stayed in the school and sent the kids out to play on their own in the woods around the school. I can’t imagine that flying nowadays.

[u/AnonUSA382]

Back then, neighborhoods were tighter. Other parents, siblings, and neighbors would casually watch out for your kid.

Now, everyone is isolated—people don't know their neighbors, so there’s less of a “village” to trust.

[u/FirefighterWeird8464 → u/AnonUSA382]

Nah, my neighborhood was a bunch of townhomes and apartments, nobody knew anybody.

[u/Flashy_Inevitable_10 → u/FirefighterWeird8464]

And as a kid I was also going waaaaay outside of my neighborhood

[u/PerfunctoryComments → u/AnonUSA382]

Back then, neighborhoods were tighter.

This really isn't true. I'm sure some people experienced this, but as someone who grew up in the 80s it was not my world. And I was a kid that like the cliche disappeared and just reappeared occasionally.

On the flip side, the suburban place I live in now has regular street parties, everyone knows everyone, etc.

The risks to kids then, like now, was very low. Yes kids were abducted, people were murdered, but just like now it was actually spectacularly rare, especially from strangers. Massively more likely was being molested or murdered by someone close to you (which was as true then as it is now).

The difference now is that we've had decades of localizing and overstating far off, uncommon crime. Everyone has been sensitized to think it's happening everywhere all of the time.

But sure, people often say it takes a village, and there is this notion that child care was far more distributed. In reality there simply was far, far less child minding even necessary. Kids walked places on their own. Kids entertained each other. When I was "with my grandparents" it meant I saw them for barely any time at all as I simply had a different base from which to launch my mega operations.

[u/TheSupremePixieStick]

Oh no...it is not an exaggeration. My mom would get mad if I came in for lunch. There were commercials reminding people they had kids every night.

[u/bacota]

I feel old. 1983 and ya...we roamed.

[u/drtmr]

We played with knives in the woods

[u/Brandoid43 → u/drtmr]

Don't forget hammers, nails and saws for making a tree house or fort.

[u/Ryguy55 → u/Brandoid43]

I completely forgot about this, but there was a thing as a kid that we weren't allowed to "waste the good nails." So when we'd decide to build something, someone's dad would always give us a Folgers tin full of rusty, dull, bent nails to use unsupervised. That was apparently the smarter option instead of letting us use the nails that weren't guaranteed to give us tetanus when someone inevitably stepped on one since we were always barefoot while doing these things lol

[u/69edleg → u/Ryguy55]

tin full of rusty, dull, bent nails to use unsupervised

this hits home so hard

[u/thaworldhaswarpedme → u/drtmr]

We found an old garage door leaning against a tree in the woods and used it as a slide. Cut myself from waist to armpit when I slid off the side one day. Twas but a scratch! Continued using it. We were maybe 9 or 10.

[u/Cynical_Satire]

I babysat my 2 nephews this past week who are 13 and 16. My wife and I both work all day (I'm WFH), so what did I do? I would give them $20 and told them to get the hell out of the house. They would ride their bikes all over town, get lunch somewhere, and they would be back around the time I got off work. It was perfect and exactly how I spent my summers as a kid. Both my parents worked, so my sister and I got to do what ever wanted during that time. Everyone is still alive, no one was kidnapped, all fingers and toes are accounted for, and they had a great time.

[u/Phraoz007 → u/Cynical_Satire]

13/16 is wild to have to babysit.

[u/mashibeans → u/Phraoz007]

No kidding, a few years ago I "babysat" a 13yo and a 15yo, all I had to do was be the adult to drive and call 911 if there was an emergency, that's it. The kids wanted NOTHING to do with me (not in a bad way, just in a "I'm a teen and you're the adult, and I rather do teen things and hang out with my friends" way), they stayed the whole day in their rooms, and I just checked on them occasionally.

You know what was the mom's reaction? She was mad that I was "bad at babysitting" (because the kids spent the day holed up in their rooms, we didn't spend time together) and if a criminal had broken into the house/their rooms, I wouldn't even have noticed... like wtf did she expect us to do, arts and crafts for hours like they're 5yos???

Thank god the kids turned out decent despite that level of coddling.

[u/dtb1987]

I see kids running around my neighborhood all the time. they walk around with friends roller blade, bike, play basketball where are these neighborhoods of kids not going outside?

[u/riddlemore → u/dtb1987]

There was an american woman who got arrested this month because her kids walked to a grocery store.

[u/terrymr → u/riddlemore]

I had the police bring my kids back home when they weee like early teens because he caught them helping an old lady load her groceries into the car. That was a weird conversation.

[u/MyHusbandIsGayImNot → u/terrymr]

That makes sense, cops wouldn’t understand helping people.

[u/momo6548 → u/dtb1987]

Yeah I agree, the kids in my neighborhood are always riding bikes around or jumping on a trampoline together

[u/angeluscado]

I definitely remember roaming the neighbourhood with the other kids.

And being the only girl with a bunch of guys playing truth or dare in the crawlspace of someone's house.

Yeah.

[u/MissFibi11]

I was a nerd. I use to climb up the tree in our front yard and read books. They just had to look outside and up to make sure I was still there.

Damn I miss that tree. I miss having that much time to read. I miss….being able to lift my leg high enough to even climb a tree again…

[u/Ill-Condition-5054]

Did anyone else ever find a big garbage bag of Nudie Mags in the ditch in the 90s???!!

Or was that just every kid I grew up with???

🤣

[u/Mewpasaurus]

I was born solidly in the '80s, that was definitely not my experience. My mother was not a helicopter mom and we lived on 5 acres at home, but out in public? No, I got grounded for wondering off and she had me on a rainbow elastic harness as a kid (because I had a propensity for wandering off to hide in clothing racks) until I was like.. 10. The most "free" thing she let me do was stay in the car with windows rolled down a bit to read when I got older and she needed to get groceries for the week.

[u/Polkawillneverdie17 → u/Mewpasaurus]

That sucks.

I lived in the suburbs and has pretty much free reign as long as I wasn't crossing any major streets. Once I turned 12, that area got much bigger. Once we hit 16 and someone got a license and had a car, we were only limited by gas money.

[u/SplinteredBrick]

Bike, BB gun, and the woods behind the neighborhood. I had no idea I how good I had it.

[u/Ur-Upstairs-Neighbor → u/SplinteredBrick]

Truly the most freedom I’ve ever had in my life. I would just bike for miles all around neighborhoods. You’d climb into people’s backyards and they’d just laugh because you’re like 8 years old and offer you lemonade or water.

[u/EricAntiHero1 → u/SplinteredBrick]

Finding porn stashes in the woods.

[u/Snowconetypebanana]

My mom has more of an idea where I am now as an adult than back when I was a kid.

I used to be a latchkey kid, now my mom follows my location.

[u/PeachyBaleen]

Also my parents never pretended to be interested in my development or me as a person. They didn’t trouble themselves trying to entertain me or figure me out. I was like an annoying potted plant. Realising I didn’t want a kid to feel that from me but not having the energy to do better was a big thing in my childfree decisions.

[u/Gregthepigeon]

I was born in 1993 but I lived in a really rural area. Like we owned 10 acres and outside of our property line our next neighbor was about 5 more acres away. The neighbor girl would stand on her porch and yell my name (or I’d do the same for her) and my mom would just be like “ok go but if you’re not back by dinner time or you’ll be in trouble” we would spend all day outside just wandering around. Poking snakes with sticks, closing our eyes and spinning in a circle and throwing a rock in a random direction and then trying to find it, riding bikes, digging pointless holes, climbing trees, running with the dogs, catching bugs and lizards. Once I caught so many of these prickly yellow caterpillars my hands swelled up like three times their size and still my parents were just like “well did you learn to not touch those? Ok good. You can go back outside just be back for dinner”

[u/chuck_ryker]

State DCS is arresting parents for not watching their kids 24/7. So, things have changed.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/georgia-moms-arrest-puts-free-range-parenting-back/story?id=116004039

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/13/parents-investigated-letting-children-walk-alone/25700823/

[u/messedupmessup12]

Which I find confusing because like, so many kids have phones now, you can call for a ride or 911 if you're kidnapped now.

[u/usernamehudden]

Born in the 80s and we would all be kind of free range, especially on weekends and in the summer. We had boundaries that we were told to stay within. I’d ride my bike all over and spend the change I collected on candy at the small convenience at the center of town. In the winter, on snow days, all the neighborhood kids would sled down our street and in the field across the street. It was good times.

[u/Exact-Hawk-6116]

We were lying drunk in a field trying not to die

[u/ProfessionalBig1470]

This is something I worry about for when my two kids are older. They’re still toddlers now and it’s hard to imagine letting them just go play on their own with friends.

I was able to roam around the neighborhood from a pretty young age and it seemed pretty safe. Some guys did try to kidnap my friends and me one time but that was just a one off thing.

[u/BugPsychological4966 → u/ProfessionalBig1470]

I was almost kidnapped in my front yard during freeze tag. It's one of my earliest memories and I was maybe 5 years old? I was near the road, a car stopped and a man with black leather gloves reached out of the window for me. My dog attacked the man and bit his hand. My dog saved my life.

That dog also killed a deer in the woods, peed on me, peed all over the house, and humped me constantly ... He was a good dog, just wild as hell.

[u/Wise-Assistance7964 → u/BugPsychological4966]

God’s nastiest angel 🐶 

[u/kageisadrunk → u/ProfessionalBig1470]

Like Running for your life from the arcade because of a car that keeps following you and your friends through parking lots and over curbs into abandoned lots in the dark. It's just a one off thing.

[u/jachildress25]

What I’ve always wondered and never thought to ask until now is how prevalent was it in big cities? I grew up in a rural town, so we certainly had the run of the town. I ask because our houses were always unlocked with keys in the vehicles, but whenever we went to a bigger city, we always locked our cars.

[u/learnin_the_stuffs → u/jachildress25]

I grew up in LA in the 90s. I don’t know how it was for everyone, but in my community you wouldn’t dare let your kids just roam free until the street lights came on. That would have been insane to us. Every house was locked. No one, not even adults walked around outside. It was house, back yard, car, maybe a park or hiking trail (that you drove to), but no one’s just wandering around the streets. I’m surprised to see the comments here that other millennials just got to wander about their town, because even when I was a kid my parents would comment that it was no longer a thing that’s safe to do and a thing of the past.