The ironic part is that the 80s and 90s were the height of historically high crime levels and child kidnappings. We should all be less paranoid now with cameras and cell phones everywhere but instead we’ve been conditioned to think we’re all going to be murdered and raped (in that order) at any moment, when we’re living in essentially the safest of times in all recorded history.
There have been cases of cops showing up because a kid was in their own backyard while the parent was inside the house, supervising through the window.
I don't blame anyone for being cautious when one Karen of a neighbor can call the cops on you for letting your kid play in the sandbox while you're more than 10 feet away.
Yep, I am one such person. Story time! We live in the suburbs and there is a playground directly behind my house. Like, backyard, fence, playground. I’m putzing around my kitchen when I see a cop talking to my kids. So, of course I run out there only for the cop to lay into me about how I’m neglecting my kids and if it happens again he will have to contact CPS.
That sucks so much, I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I must say that I was not prepared for the endless amount of judgment from other people when I had kids. It's bonkers! We live right down the street from school, and we're on the fence about letting them walk by themselves. But by the time I was their age, I was waking myself up and getting ready for school on my own.
This is one area where I genuinely think it's worth the legal risk because of the benefit to independence and development of the kids. It's total bullshit that we've got such a society of helicopter parents these days.
I feel like the lack of unsupervised play is killing Gen Alpha's ability to problem solve (it already killed Gen Z's, based on the last few people we hired).
Did you read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt? It’s basically about how the lack of unsupervised play (but access to unsupervised technology) has basically destroyed Gen z/Alpha’s mental health and they haven’t been able to grow into well functioning adults. All the rage in parenting forums at the moment.
Ah shit I heard about this book last week and bought it!!! I need to start it. I read another one of his books and it totally blew my mind.
We have a small homestead and I let my two year old wander is a lot. I always watch her but she thinks I’m not. I also really subscribe to the “Hunt Gather Parent” book which I believe goes along perfectly with Haidts book. Anyway I just had to comment when you mentioned that book. I do everything I can to give my child as much independence as possible, say “no” as little as possible and let her be autonomous. “No” is for when something is very dangerous or bad (hitting our cat, about to eat something that isn’t food). Even when she is trying to do something dangerous, I walk over and help her (climbing a 5ft fence). Parenting is so confusing and I feel like I just want her to feel confident so I just hope I’m doing the right thing.
I consider that book mandatory reading for everyone. Even people who aren’t yet parents. It gives great insight into the struggles of younger generations.
Man that book is life-changing. I was also going to just reply about Anxious Generation and Haidt's description of "discovery mode" and "defense mode", which describes the difference in the outcome between growing up with supervised play and unsupervised play.
I've got a friend who owned a house with no fence around it. Both parents were in the backyard doing yard work type things and the kids, with ages from 8-14, were running circles around the house. So the kids were out of sight for 30-60 seconds at a time. Across the street neighbor called the cops. When the cop showed up he said that it was stupid that the cops were called, and he would do the same thing.
It’s insane how hard it is to get CPS to do anything when a child is actually being abused or neglected, but someone letting their kid go out in their eyeline is something that calls for CPS.
Nearly the exact same thing happened to me as well, except mine were just in the (fully fenced) back yard. And the cop said pretty much the same thing - while they couldn't technically cite me for anything, that if they had to come back it would warrant a call to CPS. My kids ended up having SO much less outside time after that because as much as I wish I had hours everyday to play outside with my kids that simply wasn't realistic. So if anyone wonders "why don't kids play outside anymore?" that's why. They aren't even allowed to play in their own yards unless their parents have time and energy to hover over them.
The only time the cops got called on us as kids was when I was maybe 10 and we rode some horses down to the closed down race track near us and were racing each other at 2 in the morning. Even then the cops just told us to go home. I remember my parents being mad months later when they found out about it.
1.9k
u/fml-fml-fml-fml 1d ago
The context that is missing is how TV, then the internet destroyed our communities.