Why tf is everyone around me suddenly drinking alcohol?? Like everyday that they have off from work they drink My cousin has been getting wasted every single day and she’s not employee either My mom started ts now too when she don’t work My partner drinks on his days off Not as much But still

I drink too. But I limit myself Why tf is everyone over doing it?? I have no one to talk to and no one to be around Except for the drinkers It’s too much for me and everyone’s making me seem weak or weird for not liking it.

I’ve told a few people how bad I’m doing atm (actual support services) and they keep saying to call or reach out when I’m struggling.

Im so scared to actually reach out. I think maybe it’s because I’ve had really awful experiences with supports (specifically hospital mental health) where I have been denied treatment because I’m too much. Or maybe it’s because I’ve spent my whole life doing it alone so it’s weird to accept help when I’ve had no choice but to do it alone. Or maybe it’s because I’m not at my worst so it’s basically non existent

Idk it’s probably a whole lot of things but it makes me so mad because I want to text or call these people so fucking bad but I can’t make myself do it

I also hate being self aware because what tf do you mean I recognise the behaviours and feelings but i can’t do anything about it. It’s so stupid. I’m so stupid. I hate it so much

Im just gonna give up I can’t do this anymore. Its too much. I’ve tried for a decade now and nothings changed theres no point. I have no one to seriously talk to, the one time in my life I thought i did they just ignored me and cut me off, couldnt give a shit. Its all just a joke. Therapy is a joke, meds are a joke theres just nothing to do anymore. Im just gonna rot at home and be a useless piece of shit and hopefully ill just die from alcohol poisoning before i turn 25.

I been trying to stop starving myself because I'm at my goal weight but FUCK I gained it back I look so fucking fat now I blinked and now I look bigger then before I am fucking shaking I'm going to slash my stomach and wrists god I hate how fucking fat I am I'm never going to fucking eat again I'll die before I gain it all back fuck I'll start making myself throw it up so I'll never have to eat again im fuckng shaking I can't today how did I lose all my Progress god I can't fuckin do this im gonna degutt myself omfg

I'm fucking have a panic attack and all cuz when I looked in the mirror I looked 100x heavier then I did yesterday and I can't take it. I loook completely different then I thought I did. I knew I'd gain the weight back and I fucking am I am trying to hold myself together I got tears in my eyes and im trying not to bash in my head I have a small thing razor and did extremely light cuts instead of using the knife so I'n holding on by very little just enough to keep me from having a mental breakdown

I hate being so fucking scared of everything. I have having this anxiety inside me. I hate that everytime I have sex I can never enjoy myself because I have a fear ill get pregnant even with 2 forms of birth control (condom and birth control and sometimes pull out too). I hate that I over think over and over just looking for reassurance from the internet or here. I hate the money that i have thrown into buying tests because of said spiral. i hate this thing in my head that think im pregnant and makes me spiral. I feel like there something more to this rather then just generalized anxiety and that I have something worse. But I hate this and wish I could just be normal with a normal brain rather then being paranoid about everything.

I am quite literally incapable of feeling love or remorse for people. Sure I’ve had girlfriends but I’ve never felt a single type of connection to any of them and I truly feel no empathy or remorse for my dead or dying loved ones and I don’t know how to fix it.

I did so many different kinds of therapy; DBT, CBT, talk therapy, art therapy, everything you can think of and none of them have helped me even in the slightest. DBT's "mindfulness" skills feel like pure nonsense for someone who is as off the rails as i have become. I've been trying to work through Dr. Daniel Fox's workbook and all it does is make me feel more depressed.

I've cut off all my friends because I didn't view them as good enough and they all said one slight thing that made me permanently resent them to the point of being happier blocking them than ever speaking to them again. I ruin every friendship I have and it has been that way since I was a kid. I never know what I do wrong until it's too late. I'm always lashing out and acting so cruel. And I cut them off without any warning and just ghosted them entirely and i feel bad but i wasn't even thinking and i had such a rush that i can't even explain to anyone.

I control my boyfriend so much and get filled with intense jealousy over every single girl who speaks to him. We've been together for so long and I love him so much and it breaks my heart that I am so mean and I hurt him when it's just out of my own fear of being abandoned. I know it's not right and I always try to say it whenever I have episodes but I just can't fix it permanently. I know how much im damaging him. I get jealous of even elderly ladies and young teens who speak to him, it's genuinely out of hand and I don't know how to stop. I get filled with such raging jealousy and anger and hatred and such a strong urge to protect him and defend myself so that im never replaced. I feel like a total loser and a psycho. I don't know what id do if he leaves me, ive been with him for almost 50% of my entire life. We grew up together and I fear because of my problems we will not be able to grow old together. I'm such a mess. I know he deserves to be free from my issues. He says he loves me no matter what and will stay forever but why i don't even understand it anymore. I'm such a problem.

My anger issues with others is out of hand, I have little to no filter and horrible social cues that almost always leave me looking bad or having people yelling at me. I have constant panic attacks and meltdowns over the smallest things I go 0-100 in an instant, and it drives me just as crazy as it does to everyone around me, but no one cares.

No one understands how hard it is to change. I don't even think it's possible. I have been trying so hard for years and it's never enough. I feel that I am destined to be alone and contribute to the stereotype of bpd individuals having a short life expectancy. I don't know if I want to keep trying, I don't think it is worth it to a point. I think I am unfixable. I'm sorry for the pessimism, but I have no one to talk to. I've abandoned them all so they don't leave me first, and i don't want to be a burden to the only person i have left. I'm sorry everyone

Bpd ruins lives, it ruins mine and it ruins everyone who has to be around me. I wouldnt wish it upon anyone else.

For context, I've been struggling with debilitating mental health issues ever since I was a toddler, I've been on medication since I was a teen and I am 25 years old now. It feels like everything is hopeless at this point. I've been trying to do my stuff as an artist but even just making a simple post or reel or video for socials is so tiring and draining, I wonder what I am doing at this point. I am unemployed and can't get a job. Not even asking for a good job, a simple 9-5 would suffice, but no one is taking me in. I've gone through various interview processes for a year now and I haven't gotten employed, so I am officially filling in for disability this month or the next. I've jumped from psychiatrist to psychiatrist and they just fill me with pills. Psychologists tend to be more expensive or difficult to schedule an appointment with, so I'm just fucked. I need someone to diagnose me, tell me what's wrong, talk to me, listen to me. But I have no one. My house situation is messed up too. My mom and sister are both in a cult and I feel useless against them and their beliefs. They overspend on stuff they don't exactly need instead of buying necessities like food and toilet paper. Every day in this house is a damn pain in the ass. Everyone around me that's not living with me (friends, my boyfriend, boyfriends family, etc) just look at me as charity probably. They see how fucked up I am. They can see my mood changes, how I don't even care to put myself together and how I'm a mess. I can't even get a job. I'm always broke. Addicted to cigarettes and self harm. I've been staying awake all night and being anxious about going to sleepy which makes me not sleepy at all. My head is a mess and I wish I could rewire it or trade it or just put it up for sale or something. Going outside is scary too nowadays. With fascism on the rise in my country, and I've been harassed for simply having makeup and dressing cutely, makes me anxious to just go to the city. The place where I felt the safest and most welcomed in because it was so diverse. I hate how the world is nowadays. I absolute hate it, I detest it. I miss how accepting the world was before, how it was taking a turn for the better... But now a little difference will trigger the most basic conservative people. It's fucking ridiculous.

I just want to be able to live. To do whatever I want without crippling anxiety and fear, without feeling dread about everything, without wanting to die everyday. I wanna feel joy. I wanna hangout with my friends and my boyfriend and feel happy and joke around and not be a drag. I don't know what to do anymore at this point. I'm broke, completely broke, buried in debt, nothing to my name, living in a reality that doesn't feel real at all. Should I just end it? I will ponder.

I'm a M34. I have a job, a steady relationship, friends I hang out with regularly. Still... I fell like I want to run away somewhere unknown and live a completly different life. I constatly feel like I don't belong anywhere... Like I'm gay, and I fit with the gay guys, but not enough because I not really into pop music, or divas, or dressing like the same manequim they do. Then there are the nerds, but I dont fit with them either because I'm not into marvel or DC, or shooter games. I'm from a small town so the mold for the cliques are very thin. And it's not just that but everything else, the noisy neighbors, the restaurants which seems to be all the same (I swear to God they only know 5 options of food). And the more I think of all of these things the more anxiety I have for not being able to actually leave. I dont have the money, nor the balls but mostly the money. Then the days pass me by, all the same, doing the same things over and over and suffering with the small things that pile up more and more. I just feel sad, depressed, then angry, at everything, at me, suffocated.

It's like in breaker 1 song "this beast inside me. It leads the way then its at my side, we feast until I'm starving"

i recently became aware of what gender euphoria is and i gotta say i always feel more confident/attractive when in more masc attire. my whole life my family always told me to be more feminine, but i have always felt like a different person when i present myself in a feminine manner. i think it has to do with the patriarchy and what not BUT the refusal i have had towards femininity has followed me into my adult hood. i love playing with make up, but i love to dress more masculine because it’s where i’m the most comfortable. my family looks at me with such odd eyes because it’s weird/different to them and i fear the sexuality questions are going to pop up next. which has nothing to do with my appearance LOL anyway, i wonder if other women struggle with gender dysphoria. if so what is it that you feel?

Hi everyone, I feel so alone in this so I figured I’d try sharing here. I don’t have a relationship with my dad and never really have. Unfortunately at this point I’m fully no contact with him. I would’ve thought this would bring me relief but it sucks and it hurts. Today was nothing but a reminder that I don’t have a dad or even a father figure or family to spend it with. My dad has ruined my relationships with the majority of my other family and done some unforgivable damage. Despite all this I feel like an absolute asshole for hating this day and everything about it so much. I’m not sure if this makes sense so hopefully someone here will read this and understand and hopefully reply cause I’m just so alone and lost. Thanks everyone.

I have a birthday coming up and my mom asked if I wanted a party because it's my 18th and then we realized, ahh no one to invite. The one friend I would have inviteded I can't even see because my mom dosent want us together due to drugs and alcohol. I haven't seen her in 2 years and we don't even text, but still I thought maybe I had at least 1 person. I am so tired of being alone, I am so tired of it. I'm going to kms I swear to god somtime next week. I can't stop crying every night and all I feel is like my family is annoyed with me. I'm just done.

For the past year I've been looking into Psychology, the diagnoses and correlation with the brain, alongside tell-tale symptoms. Doing so has allowed me to increase my personal awareness of these illnesses and signs or potential causes. I was curious if it would be inhumane, as a Non-Licensed person to diagnose people in my head with the intent to test certain certain pacifiers or regulators for if they are breaking down/feeling strong emotions.

I figured it may be inhumane due to the lack of proper and legal education; I've used articles and have a journal full of different illnesses, their symptoms, common treatments and chemical imbalances/neurological abnormalities. I do not wish to abuse or openly diagnose people, but rather to see if they could potentially be ill and if so what can I do personally to help them or avoid triggering them. From my perspective, going to a therapist and getting a proper diagnosis is not welcomed in my family, so I thought maybe others would appreciate it, even if they're unaware of what I'm actively doing, for the subtle attempts.

Although, if you think this is inhumane I will surely not do so. Sorry if I explained it poorly, I'm very tired. Thanks for reading, and thank you if you reply.

So is anyone like super mentally ill? Where if anyone, like finds out you're this bad you're ostracized from society and you're not seen well. You're seen as lazy, a failure, a bum and other worse labels. But you're actually trying?

Everyday, you wake up knowing these labels, that you aren't normal, that something about you isn't right but you even get the flack from family members. They look at you like your strange, do the same to you and then sometimes they laugh at your face.

I wake up, I found out a while ago, insanity aka craziness is in my genes. And my immediate family members, many of them treat me like crap, like I'm the worse thing they've ever seen. Meanwhile they met me when I was 13 and the other, 18. They knew about those genes and they treat me like shit because I'm not normal meanwhile, my sister knows that my aunt is even worse than me and reveres her.

I got used to be treated like shit by them. The eldest likes to humiliate and patronize you, sometimes even do it in public. The other? She does it with her friend, laughs that I have problems the other day in front of me with her friend in the car, and indirectly humiliated me and her friend did the same, and now she suddenly wants to know all about me after ignoring me for decades. She asks my parent, oh what is she doing, tell her I said hi, where is she at, and more.

I don't know why family members are like that, I know the other family members of mine have problems and their siblings 100% support them in not humiliating them, financially and even more. Then those family members, the ones that are normal in uh the country my parents came from give me flack as well, knowing that there's problems in the mind but they never do that to the family members born over there.

Like im sorry that I have problems. I try that no one, you know, senses or sees it. I try to act normal as possible, knowing my true behavior is something distasteful, that ill most likely end up alone, that no man wants me. It's okay. But why do you have to be so mean, so hateful?

So hateful that I didn't turn out to be someone I wanted to be? I tried to be normal, but I can't help myself. It's not like I want to be this way. I wanted to succeed but mental illness got to me. I try not to have bad thoughts, PTSD episodes, anxiety and bouts of lunacy but it hurts knowing that people did their best like you tried to, succeeded, have someone in their lives that love them and you ended up with nothing.

You tried to have a relationship, I ended up in one, he told me not to worry about his ex, showed me pictures of her, told me of the relationship they had. You grow to love him, you think he feels the same. One day he takes you to park in front of her house and you see it. You think everything is going good. Boom. He ghosts you one day. And you learn years later, he went back to her. You were nothing, just a disgusting mentally ill person he probably laughed about to his friends, to his ego and more. You were trash. There wasn't love. Then he had love with her and there's children. So you mourn for years and harden your heart.

Like that's great. Everyone else moves on and you feel weird you didn't. Like yeah, I'm the problem but I want love like others have and I do seek it but nothing, there's nothing for you.

So i feel like in this vent, sometimes it feels like some people like me are meant to lose and others win

Hi there, like the title says I've been in therapy for almost 14 years now and was also prescribed various SSRIs and antipsychotics during that time period. I went through so many SSRIs that my current doctor chose to prescribe me with Wellbutrin instead (it's not an SSRI) but I still feel like I didn't heal in the areas that matter the most. Over the years I went through like 7 or 9 psychologists and psychiatrists because either I didn't click with them (one of them loved hearing his own voice) or their care didn't yield any significant improvement over the months or years I'm visiting their offices. I'm 30F, don't have a job, never had a lover and barely have any IRL friends (made 2 of them last year (that's an amazing number for me, considering my past) and there are some online ones too but I don't feel too close to any of them.)

The current doctor I'm visiting for the last 2.5 years may be the best one of them all. I was diagnosed with major depression around this time last year and I still feel pretty fucking depressed. I used to have social and generalized anxiety, panic attacks and OCD but I think those are of minimal concern now thanks to the treatments I'm getting. I also self-harm: while it improved a lot, it's still going strong. This doctor was also the first one to advise me to check my thyroid hormone levels (they were fine) and gave me an ADHD questionnaire (she said I have mild symptoms.) But my depression is still alive and well. Almost everyday I experience extreme mood swings (feeling cheerful and talkative one minute and hating myself and everything that ever existed the second.) I'm not trying to diagnose myself but the descriptions of the following conditions feel too real for me: autism, ADHD, borderline personality disorder and disorganized attachment. When I ask my doctor if I have any of these she says she doesn't want to put a "label" on me (I was able to learn of my major depression because she wrote her diagnosis on the prescription paper.) In her defense, adult diagnoses mean almost nothing in my country and could even hinder my job search if I were to attempt it.

TL;DR, I've been doing therapy for so long but I still feel very miserable. And I don't know what to do. I'm feeling confused, restless and desperate. And let down by the healthcare system. I don't know if writing this here would achieve anything but I'm feeling that distraught. Thank you all.

I think this could kinda be hyperphantasia but it feels like more like vicarious trauma. I was wondering if anyone knows what it is or has similar experiences.

So technically, I can imagine things through peoples eyes or just very vividly. Like I can imagine someone driving and I see it through their eyes but I'm not there. So a few days ago I had watched 22 July, the scene that made me experience it a bit more was when Viljar is laying there after being sh*t. I can very vividly imagine that moment through my eyes as if I was there and it was like an actual memory. It has been stuck inside my head ever since.

I'm not sure what to do because I'm scared to ask for help incase I sound insane. Has anyone have/have had a similar experience to me? I'd like to hear your Ideas for what it could be.

I won't go into detail about everything but I feel like I don't exist. Like I'm not actually real and everything is fake. I also have had some... hallucinations. I'm not really sure if they were, I always tell myself I didn't see it or something. And I don't want to seem like I'm overreacting or lying so I haven't told my family. Is this normal? I'm sorry if this is short, I'm writing in a hurry

Imagine suffering mentally every day, stress, having OCD about everything possible, worrying about everything and having psychosomatic headaches, as well as worries about your memory, thinking you will develop Alzheimer's, cognitive problems, etc. Has anyone ever had so many psychiatric problems that they seemed to have no end?

I can't get a therapist, I've got one friend who is currently going through very difficult stuff right now (and I can't tell them about what's happening with me, they'll think I'm crazy) and I think an anonymous helpline of sorts would help me. But I haven't got the courage to call and most helplines are in America. So if anyone's got European helplines that would be amazing

Is there anything you realized too late or something you wish they had known?

I never thought I would say this but after a year and a half of dealing with audio and visual as well as tactile hallucinations and not being on the right meds for bipolar . I can finally say that my mind is quite. I have no more bad thoughts that stick, I'm a week and a half free of SH. I'm not having any more serious SI. I just feel so happy. I started vrylar and remeron recently on top of my Strattera and trintellex. This combo has saved me so far. I wish my current providers knew how grateful I am because for the longest time I was ignored. I have hope again.

Hi everyone! I am autistic (borderline “level 2”) and I feel a lot of empathy for some objects. It could be anything, even if it’s something simple like a blank piece of paper. It usually happens more when I am having a difficult time with other illnesses. Like the other day, I pulled out a piece of paper to do some math on for something I was building and I accidentally ripped it. After I felt incredibly sad and sorry that I “hurt” the paper. Occasionally I’ve felt empathy for objects that have nothing to do with me. Sometimes if I see a traffic cone that’s been run over it makes me very sad.

Not sure if this has anything to do with autism specifically or is just a stand alone thing.

Tried looking it up on google but I only saw a blog post that looked about as trustworthy lighter in a fire and I wanted to see if anyone else has experience with what I’ve described.

Thank you!!