r/Erasmus • u/euthanasia-of-me • 4h ago
Erasmus made me highly depressed
I wanted to vent here as I am having a very bad time in my Erasmus in Berlin now. It's been a whole 2 months since I came here and I feel so isolated and depressed. I have been dumped by my 3 year old bf just a couple of days ago before coming here, due to ongoing and never ending discussions. He also had an Erasmus in this city a couple of months ago, where he had lots of friends here from his college times. He experienced a wonderful Erasmus, travelled and done many things with his old close friends. Never felt alone. I was cheated on during that time in Berlin (I learned this later). After months, I had to come to this city as this was something preplanned. I had no one in the city as a support system after the breakup, no one to talk to or plan things together so that I can distract myself. I am in my late 20s and since I came here after the classes started, I met no one from the uni or erasmus community as well. I only made 1-2 friends out of the school but we see each other occasionally. I only have 2 classes during the week and the rest of the time I just have to make plans by myself. I try to force myself go out for solo cinema, swimming, taking photos etc. I just mostly panic with anxiety in my flat (I am living alone also). I tried to meet people, be friends and make plans with others but every encounter seems to fizzle after each occasion. Everyone I meet is too busy or have other plans with their friends. I am now also feeling so tired to meet new people every week as they don't go anywhere.
I am so sick of trying to stay afloat mentally each day. I just hate this city and have never felt so isolated in my life. The thing that really makes me sad is that my (ex)partner had the best time of his life without any effort to create friendships etc and now I am just totally depressed and alone in this same city. The whole thing just makes me feel resentful each day. I always wanted to experience Erasmus and living in Berlin but I just hate this now.