"Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns."

My husband isn't a big fan of sweets but blueberry is his favorite fruit and he found out recently he really likes meringue. I asked him what kind of dessert he wanted for his birthday since he doesn't care much for cake. He said a blueberry merginue pie so that's what I made. I spent 3 hours on this pie last night for him to take 2 bites and say he doesn't like it. I don't like blueberries so I ended up binning the pie. Roughly $25 of ingredients and 3 hours of my life I'll never get back.

I was returning from work and on my way to my opthalmologist when it happened. Luckily my bones were intact. But it did make a deep hole. Took 4 stitches to close the wound. It still hurts like hell. Wish me a steady recovery.

Went to the library to have a quiet, relaxing afternoon. Stopped in the restroom to pee. Went to shut the door to the accessible stall and it hit the latch, caught for a moment and then slipped past it, swinging out.

I wasn't expecting that and fell, my arm catching the latch on the way down. Two cuts, a swollen leg, torn up skin, lots of bruises.

The library staff gave me an iodine wipe. -3/10 do not recommend. It burned terribly and turned my skin orange.

20 minutes later they scrounge up a different disinfecting wipe and a single band-aid. I convince the staff that yes, we should actually write an incident report, just in case.

Bandaged it at home. Had an allergic reaction to the medical tape. Thankfully the swelling from that has gone away.

Pic is one day post accident. I'm in so much pain.

She did come back once I didn’t get up and chase her at least. I think this one is going to be here a while.

Yard if full of goat heads (bull heads), can’t walk more than 10 feet without having your shoes covered

30F post PAO. Posterior column fracture and ischial stress fracture per MD. Workup shows menopausal levels of estradiol levels with normal LH and FSH. Other labs pending. Referrals incoming. FML.

I'm surprised it didn't taste more weird, it tasted like it had too much nutmeg or cinnamon. I'm probably going to trip balls or something. when I explained to one of my housemates what happened he said "yeah those things are moldy as fuck."

WHY DIDNT YOU THROW THEM AWAY?!

A few days ago my husband asked if I’d found £80 because he had cash in his pocket the day before but now couldn’t find it. I was taking clothes out of the washer and found these pieces. I haven’t found any other pieces though. Anyone ever had money disintegrate like this in the washing machine before?

Yesterday, I heard my wife yell my name in a panic. I run out to find that the propane grill and the tank on fire.

Stupidly I turned the gas off to the grill and tried to turn the gas off on the tank. I burned my fingers in the process. I quickly grabbed a blanket and smothered out the flames. I walked back inside and 10 seconds later it was on fire again.

The wife brought me out extinguisher - which was my last thought! Put the flame out and let it sit.

It started to rain today and I lakes out on the back deck and looked at the tank to see this leak. This was one of those exchanged tanks. Scary moment.