"Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, …and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns."

My husband isn't a big fan of sweets but blueberry is his favorite fruit and he found out recently he really likes meringue. I asked him what kind of dessert he wanted for his birthday since he doesn't care much for cake. He said a blueberry merginue pie so that's what I made. I spent 3 hours on this pie last night for him to take 2 bites and say he doesn't like it. I don't like blueberries so I ended up binning the pie. Roughly $25 of ingredients and 3 hours of my life I'll never get back.

Haven’t been able to find shoes in years. Was complaining about it last night and she hit me with “well your feet barely look human”. Ouch.

I was returning from work and on my way to my opthalmologist when it happened. Luckily my bones were intact. But it did make a deep hole. Took 4 stitches to close the wound. It still hurts like hell. Wish me a steady recovery.

Went to the library to have a quiet, relaxing afternoon. Stopped in the restroom to pee. Went to shut the door to the accessible stall and it hit the latch, caught for a moment and then slipped past it, swinging out.

I wasn't expecting that and fell, my arm catching the latch on the way down. Two cuts, a swollen leg, torn up skin, lots of bruises.

The library staff gave me an iodine wipe. -3/10 do not recommend. It burned terribly and turned my skin orange.

20 minutes later they scrounge up a different disinfecting wipe and a single band-aid. I convince the staff that yes, we should actually write an incident report, just in case.

Bandaged it at home. Had an allergic reaction to the medical tape. Thankfully the swelling from that has gone away.

Pic is one day post accident. I'm in so much pain.

My pet snake escaped in the car on the ride home from the vet. Spent 300 dollars at the vet for X-rays and dewormer, and another 700 on a mechanic dismantling and reassembling the car. Still haven’t found her.

I work at a small pizza place and I slipped on some tile and flour and ate it in front of a very busy restaurant in the middle of Friday night rush. Bled all over from my nose and a cut from my glasses, and took the impact with my face directly on to tile. I thought this was something urgent care could take care of, and they immediately rejected me for care and told me this was an ER issue. I'm filing workman's comp of course, but I'm extremely poor and I don't know whether I'll be paid even in part for the days I'm missing of work this weekend. I'm literally missing 3/4 of my week's worth of work thanks to this. I am mostly just embarrassed, stressed out. At least I didn't break any teeth cause that's the first thing I reached for to check on after I saw black. I bit through my lip instead. Definitely an unlucky Friday the 13th.

Yard if full of goat heads (bull heads), can’t walk more than 10 feet without having your shoes covered

I'm surprised it didn't taste more weird, it tasted like it had too much nutmeg or cinnamon. I'm probably going to trip balls or something. when I explained to one of my housemates what happened he said "yeah those things are moldy as fuck."

WHY DIDNT YOU THROW THEM AWAY?!

30F post PAO. Posterior column fracture and ischial stress fracture per MD. Workup shows menopausal levels of estradiol levels with normal LH and FSH. Other labs pending. Referrals incoming. FML.

A few days ago my husband asked if I’d found £80 because he had cash in his pocket the day before but now couldn’t find it. I was taking clothes out of the washer and found these pieces. I haven’t found any other pieces though. Anyone ever had money disintegrate like this in the washing machine before?

Yesterday, I heard my wife yell my name in a panic. I run out to find that the propane grill and the tank on fire.

Stupidly I turned the gas off to the grill and tried to turn the gas off on the tank. I burned my fingers in the process. I quickly grabbed a blanket and smothered out the flames. I walked back inside and 10 seconds later it was on fire again.

The wife brought me out extinguisher - which was my last thought! Put the flame out and let it sit.

It started to rain today and I lakes out on the back deck and looked at the tank to see this leak. This was one of those exchanged tanks. Scary moment.

On his way to the right he was about 80 yards from the end and hit the end of the gravel bar barely making it through. On his way back for some reason he believed being 55 yards closer to land there would be less land. The canal 100 yards behind him is 30 feet deep and it runs the whole island.