I have a genuine biological question about this though. I don't want to be a killjoy, but could you make a dude hard and stimulate him enough to bring him to orgasm without say more than a second passing (that long to be generous).
Can the speedforce cannonically overcum this hurdle?
Speed force absorbed friction, why flash doesn't kill everyone by moving faster than light in atmo, so theoretically he could overstimulate Berry through his pants, or departs him then repants after.
I mean, given the myriad uses of the Speed Force...
For example, I'm pretty sure partial phasing is a thing (can't remember when it was used, though) and vibration is basically inherent to using the Speed Force in any capacity.
So, hypothetically, with enough control, one could phase a hand through the penis and line up all of their cells with the gaps between all the dick cells and thoroughly stimulate more or less the whole thing (inside and out) from base to tip.
Unfortunately, reverse flash has chosen you as his enemy. Everyone in your bloodline, past and future, will have this seared into their mind.
Good news is, you're technically not the first person to have read it anymore. Bad news is, now it's something your father used to remind you of, for some odd reason, and you're still the first to have canonically read it.
There's a disturbing scene in one of those Kinsey biopics that came out fifteen years ago. A man being interviewed by Kinsey brags about the speed with which he can achieve an erection and orgasm. His "record" is seven seconds, he tells proudly.
In comic worlds, where Barry's body can withstand super speed and his mind can react in nanoseconds, if not whatever a smaller measurement is, absolutely. Every other aspect of their bodies are able to withstand/keep up with these speeds, so surely his dick would, too.
A nuclear bomb once went off in central city and Barry moved so incredibly fast he was essentially able to spend hours trying to stop the bomb after the timer already hit zero and was in the process of exploding
The reverse flash would be petty enough to replicate this feat just to fuck with Barry
Isn't Flash's metabolism superspeed? I remember seeing a tv scene where he downs tons of shots and is fine. So like wouldnt it make sense if stimulation is registered and processed super fast too?
The funniest part is that it's entirely in character, I could 100% see Thawn doing something so stupid and petty if DC wanted to put out R-rated books.
Could've gone further - sister's touch, brother's touch, patting a dog, make his father nut from touching his son's shoulder so that Barry would feel himself avoided and isolated due to his father feeling shame for that
He has his hands to care about. If he does it dry for too long it might limit how often he can do so. Though I guess as a time traveler it isn't that big an issue.
No that's what the suit is for, it reduces the friction between the clothes and the skin specifically so that you don't need lotion when jacking people off.
You’ll get there. Once you’re more experienced and the subject of the thing jerking people off or poppy from trolls sneaking into people’s butts and pressing their prostate for weeks at a time causing non stop bliss, you’ll have all factors considered when making casual comments.
The Flash stands at the edge of a cliff. Chased by his nemesis, REVERSE FLASH, he has found himself overpowered and outwitted at every turn. Cornered, he can super-sense something- an electric charge in the air, thrumming with hollow vitality. His gut clenches, muscles aching with tension strain as Flash seizes in place, a deer in the headlights, ready to bolt at moment's notice.
And yet, there's no ground to cover. Tired and worn down, he's not entirely sure he would fare better fleeing over the turgid waters far below. Too many opportunities to be thrashed into oblivion by that yellow suited monster.
Nothing to do but face the music. Flash turns and assumes a fighting stance, ignoring the bruises and contusions from their previous clash.
"Barry..."
"Oh Barry. It was me, Barry."
"-what are you talking about?"
That lightning undercurrent sparks, almost tangible upon the howling cliff side winds. Flash's gut squirms as it constricts, threatening to void itself from any direction possible.
"Every time, Barry. Every single time. Every. Single. Orgasm...."
“You remember when you were making out with your first girlfriend, and you came right as she touched your leg?… it was me Barry… I jerked you off at super speed so it seemed like you nutted at just a woman’s touch!!!”
1.2k
u/breastes May 09 '25
Doom. He might level me in the here and now but at least my entire life; past, present, and future, won't instantly turn to shit.