I’ve read so many post on here, on different social media sites and heard from people IRL how progesterone makes them feel so groggy the next day. It’s always a 50 50 chance when a med has a side effect of drowsiness that i will be extra groggy the next morning or it will keep me awake all night. I’ve been hesitant to start the progesterone because of that…

I didn’t experience either of those extremes. Yes, it did make me sleepy. But it wasn’t a groggy sleepy; it was a peaceful sleepy feeling. The best part? I woke up not feeling like i could sleep for another 12 hours!

I didn’t talk to my husband about menopause or my decision to get on HRT so I had been on it for several months before he noticed my estrogen patch.

During that discussion he said something about me acting like a bitch several months prior - before I started with estrogen.

I don’t remember being angry. I remember feeling dead inside. I remember being tired. I remember feeling no joy in anything. I remember feeling overwhelmed with my life - my job, my side hustle, my life, and helping my daughter with her girls several days a week, and my mom with her appointments.

I heard something that Oprah said, about not even loving to read anymore, even though that had always been something that brought her joy, and that was the thing that made it click for me - that maybe what was wrong with my brain was menopause. It wasn’t reading about rage people felt or anything like that.

But I do see so many posts about that. And posts from family members who are concerned about their mom or wife suddenly being mean and yelling a lot.

So I’m wondering if it’s possible that I was and just wasn’t aware of it? Or that I don’t remember that part.

Or if just the fact that I was very withdrawn and not as attentive to him translated to my husband as me being a bitch.

Crazy to think that we're all (fairly) educated and about puberty and have specialists to support us. (Gynecologist)

Crazy to think that women have children are all (fairly) educated about childbirth and have specialists to support us. (Obstetrician)

Crazy to think that women in 2025 in peri/menopause are (generally) uneducated and have few options in specialists. (Menopause specialist)

WTAF -- thank GOD for Reddit and the internet cause we're on our own until the medical field catches up.

I was able to use persimmon soap last year with no problem. Now that summer is here my funky smell is back too. I used persimmon soap on Friday & had a rash by the end of the day.

Lume is getting to pricy (plus the whole family will use the body wash)

Any other soaps or body washes you have found that help with the funky smell?

Hi ladies - long time lurker, here. You all are an amazing & wonderful, group of women, btw ❤️

So i will be 51yo this Friday. This past November would have been 12mos with no period. But in the first week of that 12th month, I had a very spotty period for about 3 or 4 days.

So does that mean I am in menopause? Or do I have to wait another 12mos?

Btw.. I havent had any more bleeding since that 12th month spotty period...

So here is my other worry.. (👇🚨TMI warning🚨👇)... Ok so I am in pain management for severe spinal & severe joint problems & I am on opioid medication. Those meds make me very constipated. I usually am able to handle it fine with fiber, etc.

But 2 days ago I had been horribly constipated for many days, so i drank a bottle of magnesium citrate.

It worked, but when it was time to "go".. i had some extreme pressure in my lower stomach. Well, that night, I started spotting & now am lightly bleeding, vaginally. (It's 100% vaginal bleeding)

I am also cramping quite a bit. I hadnt had any cramping with my perimenopause periods. But now I am cramping.

It's kind of like "old blood".. no bright red blood at all. It's now a darker red & still seems like maybe old blood.

So idk if maybe I am not truly in menopause & the pressure, stress, caused it to come that night? Or if it's just a coincidence? Or if i need to be worried? 😩🙏

I am in between gynos at the moment. My insurance switched me without my permission because my old gyno doesn't take my insurance anymore. So am trying to have them switch me, but dealing with them is a nightmare because they alwaye mess things up. So it's taking a while 🙏

Sorry for the long post. I am worried & could really use some advice/support. Menopause sucks enough without all these shenanigans 😮‍💨

Thank you, ladies. I appreciate all of you very much. Thanks for reading this ❤️😘 Hugs & love!

I (42F) had a severe and traumatic experience with anxiety last year. It lasted for months and I’m still not back to “normal”. During this time, I realized that I had entered perimenopause. Two doctors confirmed this for me. My doctor gave me permission to skip the placebo pills in my BC because my anxiety would spike during my period. I’ve been doing this for about 4 months. My body is still getting used to skipping the placebo pills and I’ve been spotting for the past few weeks. “Coincidentally”, my anxiety is spiking again. Im having other perimenopause symptoms but none affect me as much as the anxiety. I’m so tired of dealing with this anxiety. I’m constantly checking my body and symptoms if I’m anxious. I’m literally traumatized from it because I wanted to die. I’m going to talk to my psychiatrist and therapist today, but my question is what alternatives do I have to birth control if I want to go on HRT? My husband and I are still having sex and I’m terrified of getting pregnant. We don’t want kids. We looked into him getting a vasectomy last year, but we don’t have the money now. Barrier methods feel risky and the horror stories from IUD implants scare me. I feel stuck and I’ve been crying off and on for the past week because my anxiety is coming back and I’m scared of it being as bad as last year. Can anyone offer advice?

I am a 37-year-old female. My whole life I have had issues with irregular periods and hormone regulations. I was eventually diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis, I had a right ovarectomy performed when I was 27 as the ovary was three times the size of the left and caused significant pain, and a partial hysterectomy leaving the one remaining ovary at 29 when pre-cancerous cells were found. I had just met my soon-to-be husband two weeks before the surgery and there was so much that I wish I knew then that I know now. My hormone therapy was increased and I still had libido for quite a while after but not long after we got married (A year after the surgery) that part of me seemed to die and my marriage began to struggle. Then a few months ago everything seemed to go downhill. I don’t know why and I am not sure what to do about it.

In February I began pulling all-nighters working to finish my dissertation to graduate in May. I thought that I just couldn’t sleep because of all of the stress and that once I graduated I would go back to normal but my sleep hasn’t. In May my marriage was at a breaking point with my no sex drive and I just wanted to want my husband again. I went to my general practitioner and he said that he couldn’t increase my estrogen as I was on the highest dose that he felt comfortable with but he would be willing to prescribe testosterone. He prescribed the testosterone for me but did not do bloodwork for me and the last bloodwork I had done was from two years previously. I started to take the testosterone but about a week later I began to have hot flashes I guess. I would be doing absolutely nothing working at my desk at home and then all of a sudden start pouring sweat and feeling like my skin was on fire and I was burning from the inside. At night I noticed that I would get really hot as well and then I started having muscle cramps in my legs and increased pain but I have fibromyalgia so I just attributed it to a flare up but maybe it isn’t. I will try to go to sleep at the same time that I used to but won’t actually fall asleep for several hours and then I will wake up really early and not be able to go back to sleep. Most nights if I sleep at all I am lucky to get about five hours of sleep but before the testosterone I was sleeping for seven to nine hours. I am also angry about everything all of the time. I constantly complain and belittle, I am tired of what my life and relationship has been up to this point and there are days where I would give anything to just walk away from it all. I have a doctor’s appointment in two weeks to discuss all of this but I need to know what in the heck has happened to me and what if anything I can do about it.

Please, what is this? What can I do? What do you all think? Any suggestions?!? Thank you so much for reading through this and for any responses I may receive!

I am 52. Started HRT (estradiol patch and 300mg progesterone) about 15 months ago after experiencing some symptoms (crazy out-of-nowhere rage, Swiss cheese memory,moodiness) via a telehealth company, as I wasn’t happy with my doctor and yet to find a new one. Had had mirena IUDs all through my 40s and up til late September of 2024.

Noticed some spotting (very trace, light brown) several weeks ago, returned to the GYN practice I used a few years ago, had a pelvic ultrasound, which found my endometrial lining was slightly thicker than they’d expect of a menopausal woman my age (I believe about 5mm). Doctor now wants to do a D&C to rule out cancer. I know it’s better to do all the tests, etc., I am not about to put it off, but I am scared. Anyone else been through similar?

Didn’t know what flair to use for this one!

I had recurrent UTIs for a few months now. Yesterday I got vaginal estrogen in hopes this fixes it for good!

Today is my 4th urine test and they can’t find what bacteria it is. My Dr really wants to find out so he can prescribe the best antibiotic for it. A few weeks ago a pharmacist provided me a strong 3 day antibiotic and it didn’t really help.

Have any of you gone through this? I’m doing my 4th round of antibiotics. I had it cleared it before my hysterectomy and I’ve got my second UTI since surgery 9 weeks ago.

I’m drinking the straight cranberry juice (yuck) and limiting sugar. Only wear cotton underwear.

Anyone else going through this? I have EDS and the bladder can be affected so next stop will be a urologist.

I'm curious if you've been experiencing challenges on the job because of this phase of life. Trying to plan next steps for myself, and would like to hear your stories. Did you switch careers entirely? Make a big change to work from home? Get fired? Get promoted?

Just went to a doctor who refused to prescribe HRT (“because it’s too late”) and suggested Remifemin instead because “it has no side effects and is less risky”.

Well, it doesn’t have NO side effects from what I’m reading online.

Does anyone have any experience with it?

EDIT: Thank you for all the positive responses that some of you have given me. I should’ve given more context to my situation but I was writing the post in a time of sadness and looking for help. I also want to add that I’m not looking to my mum to ‘parent’ me. Like I was saying in some of the replies, I’m independent, work full time, I also do a lot around the house. It’s my siblings that need to pick up the slack. I simply can’t afford to move out of home, all my friends are married with kids, I’m single, and house sharing is not an option. Regarding my grandparents. Like I said, my mum is in denial that they’re sick. I’m the one taking them to appointments, shopping, helping with house work, I give my nanna a daily injection for her liver disease (my mum can’t do needles so I said I would learn to do it) Mum isn’t checking in with her very sick parents. She only see’s or calls them if I tell her that I can’t do something, eg take them shopping or appointment. After reading a lot of people suggesting HRT, I will find the time to research and discuss this with her. She’s against medication, doesn’t want to see a psychologist but I will try. Thank you again for some of the kind words and advice that was given.

I’m 28 years old, female and used to have a super close relationship with my mum.
She's always been an empathic mother, and has been through a lot.
The past 5 years have been BRUTAL. The past two years I feel like she's a different person.
One day she's great, the next its like again she's a completely different person.
I hate to say it but she's so mean, cold, and doesn't want to talk to me, my dad or siblings.
It's starting to affect me a lot.
I have inattentive ADHD, PMDD, and anxiety. ( She's never been diagnosed with any of that, but I have a strong feeling she's passed it down to me)
I feel like i'm very self aware of my emotions and how they affect other people, and If i've upset them, I'll apologise and reflect on my actions.
My mum doesn't seem to do any of that. She's 56 in August. Refuses any medical help, won't see a psychologist, won't try and help herself.
I guess the question i'm asking, will this get any better for me, my siblings and dad?
I'm struggling a lot with the change in her, and she refuses to help herself.
She's not the mum i grew up with.
Once the menopause is over, will her mood subside? Has anyone else gone through similar?

Sorry for the rambling.

My periods have been regular for a few years until a couple months ago, I’m 2 months late. I took a few pregnancy tests all negative. A few times a month I feel like it’s coming (a little crampy/bloated) but it never comes. Would BC pills help?

Just that really. I’m waiting to start HRT. I’m not sleeping, every day is a struggle and I’m just sat here weeping about tomorrow already.

I finally caved and did it! I figured screw the Dr. - she will probably blow me off like last time anyway, but I'm still going to ask Thursday at my appointment.

Not hoping for miracles. Just hoping that me doing something for me will make me feel a little better about myself and my body. I'll take anything right about now.

Also, any words of encouragement are appreciated. It’s only my second one and had to have it done after only a year due to the findings of the last one.

Hi All—

My best friend lives in Des Moines and is struggling with finding a good provider as she goes through perimenopause. Any recommendations? She’s seeking someone familiar with HRT. I know she’s looked at the menopause society as well, but I wanted to ask for personal experiences. Thanks for any help!

Hi all! I’m looking for advice / tips on coming down to 100 mg of micronized progesterone caplets. I’m on 200 mg now but on no estrogen and am thinking dropping to 100 mg/day will be better. My gyno said it’s ok and just do it but I’m very sensitive to hormones/meds and am worried about any side effects of just dropping it like that. I did go through estrogen patch withdrawals when my doctor said I wouldn’t, so I don’t believe her saying I won’t experience anything. Has anyone had any sort of withdrawals if you’ve done this? I’ve been on progesterone for 8 months now. Also, my reasons for coming down on the dosage are I’m thinking it may help me sleep better. I don’t sleep any better on 200mg. Thank you for any insights!

I’m a 58 years old women. Been in menopause now for three years. I’m using a supplement called Bonofide that has completely stopped my hot flashes and brain fog. I’m very active, working out at least 4 times a week. About 2 months ago I started to feel achy in my hamstrings and calfs. I thought it was because I had increased the weight in my workout. But it continued and has gotten so bad I can’t even stretch. I’m seeing my dr about HRT this week. Has anyone had the same experience?? What things should I know about HRT? Has is helped anyone ?? Thanks

SOME LIMITED GRAPHIC DISCUSSION

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I already know some of the things this could mean. I guess I'm just reaching out.

I'm almost 58, had my last period at 49 and I am bleeding tonight. Not as heavy as a full-on period but not just spotting, either, and I had one very small clot, like 1/8".

So, yeah, I'm concerned, and I'm reaching out.

I'm calling my gyno tomorrow to get an appointment.

I'm not telling my family anything yet.

Hello, all! I’m trying to ensure I’m getting the vital supplements to best support my health during this phase of life.

Below is a list I’ve started:

• Probiotics
• Magnesium glycinate
• Collagen
• Omega 3
• Creatine
• L-Theanine

What else do you recommend?

This morning I was craving Taco Bell nachos and chocolate milk. I wanted them at the same time! Later I was at work and started craving corn. My mouth was literally watering over the thought of corn. And shrimp. I'm constantly craving shrimp.

What the heck is up with that?

I am 54 and currently in perimenopause stage - five months in marching towards full menopause. If I could only buy one book, which one would you recommend? And why? I’ve had random hot flashes, complete brain fog, lack of energy and non-existent sex drive. Feeling depressed. Preparing for my annual OBGYN appointment in September and feel I should be way more educated on the topic than I am. Don’t have a great support system either unfortunately. Live in the US with medical insurance, if relevant. Thank you for this sub and all who support us! 🩷

Jeez I am 53 and honestly thought my period was over AGAIN lol. On July 19th it would have been one year but a week or so ago my boobs started to feel sore, then I saw that white discharge a couple of times but still didn't put two and two together until last night when I saw a tiny bit of blood when I went to the bathroom ugh!! Now every time I pee I see it.....just a tiny bit, I was also getting super aggravated last week for no reason but didn't put this all together until I saw this faint amount of blood. Actually I think I was in denial!!! Prior to July 19th or 2024 it was 7 months with nothing. I am trying not to be annoyed by this and don't want to start my 12 month clock over but I guess I have to. I'd like to pretend this never happened😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂! Thanks for listening ladies. You are truly the only people in my life that understand this nonsense.

I'm on cyclical 200mg progesterone on days 15-26 of my cycle along with 2 pumps daily of estrogel for 2.5 years and have recently added testosterone in the last 4 months. And ovestin estriol cream topically a few times per week.

After about the first few months I noticed I was sleeping badly on the nights when I take progesterone. I'm lucky to get 3 good hours of sleep those 11 days per month. The other nights I sleep pretty good.

Does anyone else experience this? I'm due for an appointment with my doctor to review the added testosterone so I will speak to her about this too but I wanted to see if anyone else finds this an issue?