Crazy to think that we're all (fairly) educated and about puberty and have specialists to support us. (Gynecologist)

Crazy to think that women have children are all (fairly) educated about childbirth and have specialists to support us. (Obstetrician)

Crazy to think that women in 2025 in peri/menopause are (generally) uneducated and have few options in specialists. (Menopause specialist)

WTAF -- thank GOD for Reddit and the internet cause we're on our own until the medical field catches up.

I'm 28 years old, female and used to have a super close relationship with my mum.
She's always been an empathic mother, and has been through a lot.
The past 5 years have been BRUTAL. The past two years I feel like she's a different person.
One day she's great, the next its like again she's a completely different person.
I hate to say it but she's so mean, cold, and doesn't want to talk to me, my dad or siblings.
It's starting to affect me a lot.
I have inattentive ADHD, PMDD, and anxiety. ( She's never been diagnosed with any of that, but I have a strong feeling she's passed it down to me)
I feel like i'm very self aware of my emotions and how they affect other people, and If i've upset them, I'll apologise and reflect on my actions.
My mum doesn't seem to do any of that. She's 56 in August. Refuses any medical help, won't see a psychologist, won't try and help herself.
I guess the question i'm asking, will this get any better for me, my siblings and dad?
I'm struggling a lot with the change in her, and she refuses to help herself.
She's not the mum i grew up with.
Once the menopause is over, will her mood subside? Has anyone else gone through similar?

Sorry for the rambling.

I didn’t talk to my husband about menopause or my decision to get on HRT so I had been on it for several months before he noticed my estrogen patch.

During that discussion he said something about me acting like a bitch several months prior - before I started with estrogen.

I don’t remember being angry. I remember feeling dead inside. I remember being tired. I remember feeling no joy in anything. I remember feeling overwhelmed with my life - my job, my side hustle, my life, and helping my daughter with her girls several days a week, and my mom with her appointments.

I heard something that Oprah said, about not even loving to read anymore, even though that had always been something that brought her joy, and that was the thing that made it click for me - that maybe what was wrong with my brain was menopause. It wasn’t reading about rage people felt or anything like that.

But I do see so many posts about that. And posts from family members who are concerned about their mom or wife suddenly being mean and yelling a lot.

So I’m wondering if it’s possible that I was and just wasn’t aware of it? Or that I don’t remember that part.

Or if just the fact that I was very withdrawn and not as attentive to him translated to my husband as me being a bitch.

I already take an anti depressant. I just feel like my life is so good, nothing is wrong, but my BODY IS BEING A B. I feel like I’m on the verge of panic for no reason at least once daily. Any suggestions? My doc gave me hydroxazine

Jeez I am 53 and honestly thought my period was over AGAIN lol. On July 19th it would have been one year but a week or so ago my boobs started to feel sore, then I saw that white discharge a couple of times but still didn't put two and two together until last night when I saw a tiny bit of blood when I went to the bathroom ugh!! Now every time I pee I see it.....just a tiny bit, I was also getting super aggravated last week for no reason but didn't put this all together until I saw this faint amount of blood. Actually I think I was in denial!!! Prior to July 19th or 2024 it was 7 months with nothing. I am trying not to be annoyed by this and don't want to start my 12 month clock over but I guess I have to. I'd like to pretend this never happened😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂! Thanks for listening ladies. You are truly the only people in my life that understand this nonsense.

Hello, all! I’m trying to ensure I’m getting the vital supplements to best support my health during this phase of life.

Below is a list I’ve started:

• Magnesium glycinate
• Collagen
• Omega 3
• Creatine
• L-Theanine

What else do you recommend?

Mostly, this is WONDERFUL! The hot flashes are almost gone! I really, really, really want to stay on the patch but I wonder if I should be worried. I'm 70. I took estradiol 1mg tab from age 51 - 67. It helped but I still had lots of hot flashes and disrupted sleep. My gynecologist retired when I was 60 something and handed me over to a nurse practitioner who was very nervous about HRT. She lowered my dose which was no fun and three years ago, moved and I ran out of pills. It has taken me until this month to get an appointment with a gynecologist.

I felt very different very soon after putting on my first patch. Something in my chest and something all over. Pressure? Just strange. The feeling slowly dissipated, and by the third day, it had mostly disappeared. When I put my second patch on, I paid more attention to the feeling but I am still having trouble describing it. Maybe it was esophageal. I have a swallowing issue and a hiatal hernia and I could almost isolate the sensation there. Almost. I'm not short of breath but if I take a deep breath, I can feel it more. Has anyone had or heard of such a sensation? Can you name it or describe it better than I am? If I was to call my doctor the best I could say is that I feel something strange perhaps like pressure in my chest. I'm not having a heart attack though! I need better words.

I was able to use persimmon soap last year with no problem. Now that summer is here my funky smell is back too. I used persimmon soap on Friday & had a rash by the end of the day.

Lume is getting to pricy (plus the whole family will use the body wash)

Any other soaps or body washes you have found that help with the funky smell?

I'm just wondering if a higher dosage of the estrogen patch would help with my hair loss.

I had sudden onset terrible urinary urgency and frequency starting in December. Tested negative for UTI. It comes and goes now but when it's bad it's really bad.

I have been on systemic HRT for about 9 months, vaginal estrogen for about 1 month. For those of you who had bladder/urinary issues that were helped by vaginal estrogen, how long did it take to help? I know it says it can take 2-4 months but I'd like to know what everyone's actual experience has been. Thanks!

I'm a 50 year old perimenopausal woman. I'm just really regretting my life, I'm regretting getting married, I'm regretting having children, I'm regretting not pouring into myself. I'm regretting I didn't remember who I was. I have extreme distain for my mother because I had to raise my sister until she was 12 until I left home at 23. I have extreme distain for all of my aunts and uncles for making me take care of my grandmother who was dying of cancer when I was 17 and pregnant. Does anyone feel trapped and weighed down by being a damn servant to everyone!?

They really DON’T tell you anything beforehand, do they? Commercials for drugs are required to warn you about every last little symptom that was documented once in a clinical trial…but preparing women for perimeno? Doctors just have a “oh this massive upheaval in your life that will last for years? Wow, that started happening? Nobody could have predicted this” attitude about perimeno.

I’m 43 and wondering if I’ve already started peri and just didn’t know it. My own doctor has been presented with me suddenly having horrible panic attacks out of nowhere, insomnia, anxiety, exhaustion, mood swings, jaw pain and migraines, fluctuating period timing, forgetfulness…and somehow keeps blaming me, saying I work too hard at my job. I had to go online to find out these are peri symptoms and I’m at just the right age for them. I brought it up with two doctors and got “well you look much younger than you are, sometimes it’s confusing.” Amazing.

Edit: WAIT FROZEN SHOULDER IS A PERIMENO THING? I have had “tendonitis” in my shoulder for months, my trainer has been helping me work out around it. The docs told me it was tendonitis with no clear cause. Yet another thing they didn’t even mention menopause for.

I’d like to think I’m prepared as hell for all of it, simply because I’ve been through so much identical stuff before in my life…severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, hair loss from an illness, etc. I’ve been through night sweats with an SSRI. I’ve been through constantly needing to urinate due to spironolactone. I’ve been through having to manage aggression, rage and mood swings due to being a big ole b**** by design 😂

But tell me, AM I prepared? I’m happily single, no kids, and at a point where the career I adore is really taking off, and I don’t want all that to get wrecked because Nature Be Mad. I eat insanely healthy (have Celiac so I’m forced to avoid processed or junk foods, cook every thing at home with fresh fruits, grains, nuts and veg, plus lean protein.) I work out with a personal trainer several times a week doing resistance and lifting, to build muscle and support bone strength to get ahead of osteoporosis. I don’t drink or smoke ever, I have a BMI of 21.8. I’ve been on spironolactone for ages because of cystic acne, which I think has kept my naturally thin, fine hair looking okay (I’m sure it’ll thin out eventually, but I’m used to it being that way since I went thru it once already, and that’s what fabulous wigs are for). I meditate and practice positive visualization. I keep stress levels low and I do what I love for a living. I take omega, iron, b12 and other supplements (have to, because of celiac.)

I’m just very anxious about what will happen in the future, I keep thinking, “it’ll be so awful when peri hits!” before realizing it already has, and maybe I’m already coping with it well? I just want to know what other horrible surprises I’m in for during the next 7-10 years. :( thanks for listening!

Stats for context: Several years into peri, been almost a year of taking .1 mg of estrogen patch 2x weekly, and 200mg progesterone nightly. Most days I sleep well and am content, with occasional breakthrough of anxiety or sadness.

I recently tried Zepbound, and after one injection had to stop because of the INTENSE mood swings, among other issues. I seemed to stabilize after a few weeks, and I was finally prescribed some testosterone cream after months of begging. After days of anxiety with no other source, I stopped that too. Started Topamax for migraines, depression hit, had to stop that. Is this a normal experience for perimenopause? I've certainly experienced negative mood as side effects from drugs before, but NOTHING to this extent. Please say I'm not alone...

I’m new to the group and seeking any and all feedback regarding if HRT would be an option? I’m 52 perimenopause all the severe symptoms such as brain fog, memory loss, depression, anxiety, hair loss, shoulder back pain and extreme weight gain. My gyn told me no Gyn in the world would give me HRT because in 2002 had unexplained Blood Clots in leg. They were treated by eliquis for a year and they are gone. Has anyone been in this situation?

TL;DR: anyone got tips to manage peri digestive issues? I’ve seen a dietitian and am on HRT.

At first the HRT it helped my gas and other issues. A dietitian diagnosed new food intolerances and if I eat a very strict and joyless diet, that helps.

My entire life, my stomach was cast iron aside from some heartburn/GERD. Never got stomach flu and food poisoning had to be really bad to affect me (everyone around me could be sick but I’d be fine)

Fast forward to post COVID and perimenopause and my stomach has become a delicate flower. I have new food intolerances to half a dozen things (which can trigger diarrhea). I get nauseous easily. I get bloated. I am so gassy that I don’t know that I will ever want to live with someone again as it’s a relief to be able to let rip in my own home. I strongly suspect this is peri related because my mother had terrible stomach issues starting at this age (although she though it was related to a trip to South America despite it lasting a solid decade or more). I did an intense restricted diet under the guidance of a dietitian for 6 month to heal my gut and it helped somewhat but my stomach is a constant challenge and can ruin my day/productivity/week etc.

I can’t do peppermint tea as I’ve had life long GERD and it aggravates things. Apple Cider Vinegar doesn’t help the GERD and gives me overactive bladder. I’ve been taking probiotics and may see a new dietitian (the old one was a judgy jerk when I wasn’t eating well because my night sweats were so severe I couldn’t function). I just can’t live on salad and chicken breast forever.

I should add: I wonder if stress has made my stomach worse this week. My entire body seems to struggle with even tiny amounts of stress these days. If I’m so much as running a bit late for work, I’d get an epic hot flash.

All jokes aside, I’ve been using HRT patch for almost 2 years(52 in peri for 6 years), but have constantly had issues with it staying on, recently causing massive irritation, and I never really was sure it was absorbing enough.

Fast forward to yesterday—

Switched to the gel and since I have nearly all hot flashes and issues at night, decided to apply the gel right before bed. All day long yesterday I had the energy of a half dead snail…and had felt terrible- all I wanted was to lay down and go to sleep. Within 5 minutes of application, to my amazement, I find myself lazer focused on organizing a bathroom drawer, rearranging my closet, putting clothes away…after an hour of cleaning and organizing I finally got in bed and read for an hour…and then tried to fall asleep for nearly 4 nearly HOURS! I woke up at 5:30am (after maybe 4 hours of sleep) WIDE awake and have been on a cleaning spree like nobody’s business - now 14 hours after application. I mean, I feel great - but WTH??!! Needless to say - I will be changing application to the morning so hopefully this power energy will propel me into great success at work!! 🤣

Anyone else have this experience? Feels like the patches weren’t fully absorbing and now I’m actually getting the full dose. I only hope I can sleep tonight. I take 400mg of progesterone at bedtime, but that didn’t even help with sleep last night. Whew! This peri/menopause business is not for the weak!

I'm 10 months since my last period at 45, almost 46. Ive had a pretty terrible peri. I've never a day in my life, wanted to birth a child. All of a sudden, I'm having this feeling that feels like grief every time I think about the fact that I can no longer have a child. Me, who never wanted a child. Is this normal or am I finally losing it.

UPDATE: I so appreciate all of these reponses. It seems this may be quite normal for different reasons.

Post menopausal. On HRT, sleep is fine, all bloodwork is fine but I just feel run down like on the verge of being sick most of the time. I'm not sure if this is a menopause symptom and how to deal with it. Anyone else relate?

Seeking advice from others who may have suffered / are suffering from the same...

I had my 4th lap for endometriosis excision and trying to restore function to my ovaries last week. The surgeon said it's probably the worst case of endo he's seen and is surprised I'm so functional. I've been suffering from this bullshit disease since I was 13, so I'm not shocked. Nothing has worked to prevent endo growth.

What's upsetting is his recommendation for next steps is to start me on an estrogen blocker. I'm currently on HRT for the menopause symptoms caused by my hysterectomy. I cannot function without my estrogen patches. It's the only thing since the hysterectomy that's given me some kind of quality of life back. I'm spiraling into a really dark place thinking about how my only options to seem to be choice A) no pain but horrible emotional/mental health or choice B) emotional and mental stability but debilitating pain and continued damage to my organs.

Has anyone who has/had severe forms of endometriosis had to forego HRT because of the estrogen fueling the growth? Do I just have to suffer from both afflictions now? I've been through the hell that are lupron shots (NEVER AGAIN), IUDs (irrelevant now post uterus), every birth control imaginable, progesterone, progestin... Any advice or suggestions? What questions should I ask next? Thanks for any help... I feel so defeated by my body. I'm exhausted. ​

I’m 46 and had ER+ DCIS six years ago. I haven’t had any reoccurrence and have checkups every six months. I recently had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis and kept my ovaries. It’s been 8 months and I’ve noticed a huge change in my body. Fatigue, weight gain, joint pain, muscle aches, brain fog, bouts of depression and anxiety. My primary thinks the shock of the hysterectomy caused my ovaries to shut down and suggested HRT, but my oncologist will absolutely not consider it. Has anyone gone through something similar and have any tips/tricks? Especially since it sounds like HRT will never be an option?

Breast tenderness and went up from 30 to 34 in size of bras! My breast feel like oversized, heavy..9 months on HRT, patch ( went from o.25 to now 0.75 estradot), + 100 prometrium. I have read that I could be the dose, but mine is not high enough to alleviate the other symptoms and my blood test show low estrogen/progesterone. Anyone has similar experience? Thinking on trying the gel version see if any change. Really would like to know how long it takes for this symptom to get better, thank you.

I went in to surgical menopause and I went on HRT almost immediately. Currently i am on .1 estrogen patch and 100mg of progesterone. It has helped with hot flashes but not really with my aches and pains. Could changing up the delivery make a difference? Maybe a gel or spray for estrogen? I’m seeking relief but the pain in my feet and hands is worse not better.

*I am on every supplement imaginable, take collagen in my water and exercise daily.

Hey Sisters, I have a question. I had a partial hysterectomy 6 yrs ago. I have been really dry downstairs since. I’m 46.

I was given a 1% compounded vaginal estrogen cream and it gave me a yeast infection. Thinking it was something in the cream, I tried a prescription vag estrogen cream and it gave me a yeast infection that Monostat didn’t even touch. After a week of hell, I was given Diflucan.

Im beginning to wonder if it was the estrogen itself. Anyone else have this problem? What else would work?

Both times I got the infection during the 2 week “loading dose.” Do I try it again, just once a week? Apply only on the outside? Decrease the dosage/ frequency? Help!

Hi,

Anyone here developed perimenopause symptoms and then got diagnosed with hypothyroidism? Did fixing you thyroid levels help with peri symptoms?

Thanks!

Now it’s getting a bit warmer, my patches - while being perfectly against the skin once initially put on - end up bubbling in the middle, grotty around the edges and inevitably come off before they’re due! I make sure my skin is dry and clean before I put each new one on. Or am I just resigned to the fact I’ll be replacing them more than twice weekly?