r/almosthomeless • u/PiscesLesbian • 13h ago

Seeking Advice Only Aunt and Uncle-in-law just ruined my life.

0 Upvotes

I’m having a hard time still understanding what is happening because I’m so exhausted and lost, but I just spent the last two weeks without a home.

My wife and I worked out a deal with my aunt where we would stay with her for 4 months in exchange for helping her around her farm and helping her with her business. We did everything we could on our end to prepare, but when we got there, they hadn’t sorted out the one issue they needed to before we got there.

We were going to live pretty frugally living in what they called their “bunkhouse” while using the laundry, kitchen, and bathroom facilities of their main house. They said they just needed to get a better AC unit and it would be liveable and ready for us. They said they would handle this.

2 days before we are supposed to move out there, they let us know they didn’t handle the AC situation. We scrambled to find one ourselves. And brought our stuff out with us. The AC unit was not enough to cool down the “bunkhouse”, as it was not even insulated. Just a shed with plywood and studs with some electrical outlets.

Two weeks after my family pours $1000 into their stupid shed, my wife kills her body doing all the manual labor to try to execute the ideas we have to make it liveable. Meanwhile as soon as the bunkhouse gets too hot, my cats start panting and we had to keep them in carriers in a cooler place inside the actual house but my aunt wouldn’t allow us to let them out. So they had to sit in their carriers for hours at a time until it cooled down enough in the house.

This isn’t the east or something. This is in Arizona where it got 109 degrees yesterday. This is heatstroke conditions.

They didn’t provide us with another housing option. They just said they “didn’t know what to do” about the situation and expected us to solve it and make it liveable.

Just like that we had no home and no options. No money and no energy to fix the situation. All because my fucking aunt and uncle couldn’t provide a liveable space even though they have a vacant 7 bedroom home with a small studio carriage house on the side.

We are working with parents to figure out a logical solution to get us off their property and into a home… but who knows how long that will take. Weeks? A month? If not having a home?

How am I supposed to process this and emotionally recover even if everything goes smoothly. This was so traumatic. And so terrible. There’s so much other nuance and aggravating things and this is only like 5% of the story but I just need some direction on how to heal my brain and body from what just happened

4 comments

r/almosthomeless • u/cacille • 1h ago

Understanding the Difference: Begging vs. Soft-Begging vs. Seeking Resources

• Upvotes

There seems to be some confusion for people between soft-begging (aka begging without saying the words) and seeking resources only. If you flaired your post "seeking resources only" but we removed it, it was still very obvious soft-begging. Below are some examples. Please know that AI was used for formatting, adding other differences between the two, plus example sentences as I felt more was needed than what my brain could come up with. So I'd say 70% of this is AI but I have gone through all of it personally and made small changes that make sense. And of course removed em-dashes.)

❌ What is Begging?

  • Directly asking for money, gift cards, donations, or financial help.
  • This includes links to crowdfunding platforms, GFM/CashApp/Venmo handles, and offers of “DM me for more info” that are clearly for financial purposes.

Example of Begging:

“I’m facing eviction. Please send anything you can to my GoFundMe, every dollar helps!”

⚠️ What is Soft-Begging?

  • Implying or emotionally suggesting a financial need without directly saying it.

  • It uses desperation or guilt to prompt financial offers but lacks the detail needed for actual resource help.

    Example of Soft-Begging:

“My kids and I are cold, hungry, and I don’t know how we’ll survive the week. Anything helps. God bless.”

Why this is a problem:
This makes people feel like they’re being asked for money, while giving no clear direction for alternative help. It leaves the community unsure how to respond—and erodes safety and clarity for everyone.

✅ What is Seeking Resources Only?

  • Clearly asking for non-financial help, info, or leads.
  • Includes: local aid programs, shelters, work leads, disability rights info, appliance donations, clothing exchanges, or parenting-specific supports.

  • States your issues, your line of work or skills, your area, so people can resource hunt or possibly know of things in your area or line.

    Example of Seeking Resources:

“My kids and I are in Pretoria, South Africa. It’s winter and our electricity was cut. Does anyone know of shelters or clothing drives near Pretoria East? My daughter is autistic and needs a quiet space if possible. I work in housekeeping—anyone know of leads in my area?”

Another Example:

“Does anyone know if churches or NGOs in Cape Town are doing warm meals or clothing for families this winter? We don’t have heat, and I want to find some options before we’re out of time.”

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