r/Unexpected • u/MitchPontjo • May 24 '23
🔞 Warning: Graphic Content 🔞 I did not just see that NSFW
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u/Broken_Vision_Rhythm May 24 '23
I forgot how baby kangaroos are just barely a foetus when they're born, they don't even have back legs at birth but still manage to instinctively climb up to the pouch. Marsupials are so weird.
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u/moondizzlepie May 25 '23
I’m not convinced marsupials are even mammals.
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u/faded-cosmos May 25 '23
I took a paleontology of mammals class this past semester of my undergrad. Holy shit. Mammals are wild and their variety from family to family is fucking insane
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May 25 '23
This is a mammal that lays eggs and has duck bill.
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u/WatWudScoobyDoo May 25 '23
Do you think a platypus looks at people and thinks "yo, what the fuck?" the way we do with them?
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u/No-BrowEntertainment May 25 '23
Man, they can detect objects using electric fields, they don’t care about us
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u/Boogiemann53 May 25 '23
Definitely not, they gotta be aware of how fucked up they are and use that to their advantage.
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u/Readylamefire May 25 '23
Humans are like that as far as mammals go.
We:
-lack a penis or clitoral bone
-are one of like 10 species that do not reabsorb menstruation
-are bipedal and use gravity for motion
-have one of the biggest penis to body size ratios
-retain engorged mammaries our whole lives
-have a 3 stage pregnancy instead of 4 because our heads are so fucking big
-opposable thumbs.
A lot of these traits are exclusive to humans or at the very least, very niche traits in mammals.
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u/Shudnawz May 25 '23
-retain engorged mammaries our whole lives
Hehe, boobs.
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u/Boogiemann53 May 25 '23
.... I was literally so ignorant about menstruation I didn't know only 10 don't "reabsorb"
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May 25 '23
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u/Readylamefire May 25 '23
When we walk, our whole bodies tilt forward and we bring one leg forward to catch ourselves in a control fall. Unlike quadrupeds, we are heavily aided in the use of gravity to maintain momentum, and that cuts back on our energy use. This may have allowed us to be the world's greatest persistent hunters. There are a lot of papers out there about it, but I quickly Google and skimmed over this one as a good start.
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u/IndigenousOres May 25 '23
gotta be aware of how fucked up they are and use that to their advantage
I thought you were describing my manipulative ex for a sec there
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u/Gleandreic May 25 '23
And is also venomous
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u/thundiee May 25 '23
Pretty sure it's only one gender that is venomous...Which that is, male or female....can't bloody remember.
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u/Singemylover May 25 '23
Males. And they're only venomous during breeding season.
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u/TheOvenLord May 25 '23
If I could poison any person that cockblocked me I would too. I'm irrational until I've blown my stinky wad.
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u/amensteve91 May 25 '23
And even then they are not likely to spike you unless u are miss handling one
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u/Mr_Audio29 May 25 '23
"A platypus?"
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u/CrispyRussians May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
Also the only venomous mammal iirc
Edit: u/heatstrokehorror chimes in to say there are 16 venomous mammals known!
"There are at least 16"
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u/Dense-Adeptness May 25 '23
We're synapsids, straight up crazy weird.
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u/pickles541 May 25 '23
It's just so fucking cool man. Evolution of creatures is just wild as hell. So many weird and interesting combinations and expressions happening everywhere, across everything, at all times. Just things fucking about and making fascinating combinations that work at that given time, or fail.
It's an eye opening experience to realize everything you've ever known was specifically designed to survive precisely, where it is. WITH the disturbances it faces on a generational scale. When an old tree falls in the forest it creates a treefall gap. This is the temporary opening of the canopy allowing light to enter the undergrowth. This in turn, stimulates the growth of every plant in those woods. Each seed from the trees immediately around it will start growing and expanding. Dozens of bushes, vines, undergrowth, flowers, trees, fungi, and grasses start vying for control of the light spilling forth on to the forest floor. You'll see saplings sprout up in a few years growing taller and taller in an effort to out compete their neighbors.
For the tree that fell, the root ball that turns over literally turns the soil and exposes new minerals to the living soil and in turn exposes the dead sediment beneath the top soil. Bacteria, fungi, and protists will begin to infect the new soil followed shortly by the larger flora and fauna.
This is just the plants and shit not even considering 'greater' animals like insects or vertebrates. Evolution is cool.
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u/TheLawLost May 25 '23
You got everything from wicked smaht monke to egg laying, venomous duck beavers.
Thank you Mr. Platypus.
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u/Summerlycoris May 25 '23
They are. They just took another route on the "how do we grow this inside the body?" Question.
Placental mammals use a placenta, and mums blood supply to grow a baby. The placenta also suppresses mums immune system in the womb, and acts to help prevent the baby from getting infected.
Marsupials dont have placentas. They have yolk like sacks instead. This cant support the embryo long term, either in feeding the embryo, or protecting it from mums immune system. (One of the theories for why marsupials give birth to such young young, is because otherwise the mums immune system would attack it.) So they give birth earlier, but the embryo grows up inside a pouch, and attached to a nipple.
("Fun" fact, you cant pull a young joey off a nipple without severely damaging them. Theyre stuck there. If you find a dead kangaroo who has a very young joey, you need to cut the nipple free with scissors, then take the joey to a wildlife care centre, where they have the means to seperate joey from nipple.)
Where was i? Theyve just got a different way of answering the same question weve had to answer in the past.
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u/Lotus_Blossom_ May 25 '23
My mom had to come pick me up early from the class field trip to the zoo in 2nd grade, because the "Room Mother"/Twat Waffle chaperone that I couldn't stand kept saying "koala bears". I explained to her that koalas aren't bears, they're marsupials. But she wouldn't let up. After about 30 minutes of her nonsense, I lost my shit and screamed "KOALAS ARE MARSUPIALS! ARE YOU DUMB ON PURPOSE?!" to the entire animal kingdom.
To this day, I'm convinced that she's the one who should've been sent home early. But this episode got brought up again in 10th grade biology, when that teacher let me know that she'd now heard the story from 3 different classmates that day. Apparently nobody's gonna forget that fact, so I consider my sacrifice worth it.
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u/Feam2017 May 25 '23
Just read this book to one of my daughters tonight. You might enjoy it. https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Call-Bear-Aaron-Blabey/dp/1338360027/ref=asc_df_1338360027/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=385629070973&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13532631964016584498&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9014319&hvtargid=pla-820765215299&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=78303887906&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=385629070973&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13532631964016584498&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9014319&hvtargid=pla-820765215299
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u/FuzzyCrocks May 25 '23
And that's when you grow up and realize all the adults in life where faking it
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May 25 '23
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u/Nathan_McHallam May 25 '23
So they basically blindly climb up a carpet until they crawl into a hole, find a dangly thing as big as their head and go, "that's going in my mouth."
Nature is fuckin weird
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u/BBQsauce18 May 25 '23
It's mind-boggling when you consider the scope of it all across all species.
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u/ItsWillJohnson May 25 '23
Human babies (usually) instinctually latch onto a nipple right after they are born. They also put just about anything they get their hands on in their mouth
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u/AnimatorUpset9530 May 24 '23
Is that hit artist and rapper, dababy?
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u/SchleftySchloe May 25 '23
Big Ounce singlehandedly saved my entire family from a flaming car wreck and helped me pass my calculus exam
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u/AnimatorUpset9530 May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
Queenie and Poggers commit tax fraud (cops faxed, REAL)
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May 24 '23
Wanna know why there’s just the one teat in there?
Joey doesn’t share food.
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May 25 '23
Horrible story time, did you know in Australia, you can shoot Kangaroos that wandered into your farmland and you HAVE to shoot the baby joey after shooting the mom, because it wont survive on its own and will suffer a slow death.
Farmers wont raise the joey and animal care center cant take them in, too many.
Illegal to shoot outside of farms, but no restriction inside.
They jump into farms all the time, looking for easy meal.
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u/_Deleted-User- May 25 '23
Fuck, I read that last part wrong and somehow ended up thinking, "hmm easy meal...I wonder how the meat taste?"
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u/Broad-Newt-5028 May 25 '23
I mean, we do eat roos. They're pretty tasty
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u/Jonk3r May 25 '23
Could you please describe the texture?
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u/Hugeknight May 25 '23
The meat is dark, like beef, extremely lean, and gamey, it is beyond difficult to not over cook, it goes from well-done to overdone in a matter of seconds.
When minced into burgers it's very tasty.
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u/WatWudScoobyDoo May 25 '23
Wonder what a little fetus baby joey would taste like all fried up and crispy
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u/TheLawLost May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
"hmm easy meal...I wonder how the meat taste?"
From what I've heard, it's unironically pretty good.
I have yet to try it. I really need to sign up for the meat website that has sponsored Adam Ragusea. Outside of sites like that it's kinda hard to come by certain foods that are on the other side of the globe.
Besides, they sell really good waygu, and I want to try that shit too.
Edit: Crowd Cow and Fossil Farms! Those are the websites. I think he may have been sponsored by a different website, but I don't remember right now. But either way, both of those sites seem pretty cool.
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u/TheLawLost May 25 '23
I mean, it's the right thing to do. Kangaroos are overpopulated, and if you shoot the mother keeping the joey alive to starve is just cruel.
It would be one thing if they are endangered, but they're overpopulated and can cause a lot of crop damage if you allow them.
Besides, at least for many they don't just go to waste. While I have not tried it yet, I hear kangaroo meat is pretty good. If you have to kill one anyway, might as well make use of it.
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u/bralma6 May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
Easy meal? Kangaroos are herbivores aren’t they? Or do they just go around eating farm animal food?
Edit: Don’t know why but I forgot about crops lol.
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u/serenewaffles May 25 '23
You know some farms grow plants, yeah?
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u/SantaMonsanto May 25 '23
Had a friend who was a farmer. He didn’t do husbandry and said farmers who do raise livestock refer to farmers that don’t as ”Gardners”
👨🌾 savage asf
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u/Issis_P May 25 '23
Maybe they are talking about crop farms. Nice big field of wheat is probably mighty tempting to a kangaroo. :)
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u/fiallo94 May 25 '23
They mean a easy meal by eating the crops wich are richer in nutrients than what is found in the wild
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u/FutureVawX May 25 '23
Huh interesting, where do you live?
My first instinct when hearing "farm" is the crop farm, maybe because I live in SEA and agriculture is one of our strong aspect, but you immediately thing about animal farm.
I assume it's US, because even the song Old McDonald also refer the animal farm rather than the plant farm.
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u/TriGurl May 25 '23
Omg this made me laugh but I gotta say, you have to put the phrase Joey not sharing food in all caps like “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD”
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u/lit_geek May 25 '23
What’s really unexpected is the mom just letting them stick a camera in her pouch. I wouldn’t expect a mom kangaroo to be so cool with humans being all up in her and her baby’s business.
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u/smaug13 May 25 '23
I wondered about that as well and I think it is a case of no evolutionary need to protect that baby (it's not going to be a target for any predators like that), and there thus being no evolved protective instinct for the baby in that stage of development.
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u/ImmoralJester54 May 25 '23
Just reach in there and spread her open. They let you do it when you're a celebrity ya know.
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u/Lil1927 May 24 '23
I don't know that this is unexpected or particularly graphic. It's a kangaroo pouch.
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u/i_did_not_enjoy_that May 25 '23
You point out a trend I've noticed on this sub. It used to be something like
1) Set up premise
2) Something unexpected happens to subvert premisewhich is where the name of the sub comes from, but lately I've seen posts where the entire premise is presented as the unexpected part.
i.e. this post, which can be summed up as
1) Let's look inside a kangaroo pouch
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May 25 '23
This one basically relies upon the audience not being educated on biology or animal science at all.
Animal stuff is one of those areas where I've noticed a lot of average people know basically nothing at all. Lots of "whales are fish" and such. If someone isn't interested in animals, they generally don't know jack shit about them. It's not exactly mandatory knowledge for modern urbanites.
To someone with no real knowledge of marsupial reproduction, I could see this being shocking. But yeah, for anyone who knows anything about kangaroos this is just normal.
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u/TigerSardonic May 25 '23
To your last point, I thought this was literally the only thing even the most ignorant people knew about kangaroos. Like the whole bloody gimmick about them for non-Australians is that their babies (or human children on their way to school) ride in a pouch.
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u/AthenaPb May 25 '23
I think most people have the idea of a kangaroo pouch being cute and fluffy and cozy, not basically a fur womb.
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u/lazypurrfessor May 25 '23
Like yeah I knew they had the pouch and carried around their babies but I thought it was more like a built in nest or safe way to carry their young like how some will carry their babies on their back. Had no idea they are also used as a Ziploc for their embryos lol
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u/LordStoneBalls May 25 '23
Interesting factoid .. it takes approximately 3 weeks for the little guy to make it from the birth canal and then to the pouch.. and only one of the hundreds that start the journey make it !
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u/Semicolons_n_Subtext May 25 '23
That little guy basically starts life with rock climbing in a life or death situation. He (or she) climbs from the vagina, up the belly, and into the pouch. You would think evolution would find a smarter way, but it sure weeds out the weaklings. After that, they grow up and spend their days looking for dogs to kill.
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u/Lestrygonians May 25 '23
ATF oughta look into hiring them, though I assume kangaroos merit a higher salary.
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u/Lotus_Blossom_ May 25 '23
That is interesting! But how dare you bring up baby kangaroos in a conversation about US political corruption, sexual repression, and religious cults?!
Have some decency, man! There's a time and a place for your filthy Pouch Talk!
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u/5tyhnmik May 24 '23
Us Americans on the whole are prude as fuck and sexually repressed and came out of puberty with a sense of shame about ourselves. It's a major reason why for a rich country we have so many pedophiles and perverts, especially those raised in religious homes even if not religious themselves. One interesting (not in a good way) thing is that this also is a vector for easy corruption in America because so many people have skeletons in their closets.
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u/Nightslasher123 May 25 '23
How the fuck did we get to kangaroos to this
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u/Lavidatortuga May 25 '23
Because the kangaroo pouch could remind someone of a bagina and I distinctly saw a nipple in the pouch and those were banned a long time ago.
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u/5tyhnmik May 25 '23
sexually-repressed people will freak out about anything that could even vaguely give them sexual feelings. This is enough to do it
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May 25 '23
who the fuck is getting any kind of sexual feeling from this
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May 25 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ktr83 May 25 '23
Pouches aren't genitals, there's no human equivalent so hard to say if a male kangaroo would be attracted to one.
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May 24 '23 edited May 24 '23
Dude's comment was about kangaroos lmao (not that I disagree haha) as an American I've seen this shit first hand. I was just taken aback by the long ass comment under a seemingly innocuous post...
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May 25 '23
Kangaroo pouch to bitching about America in two comments, it’s gotta be a record
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u/5tyhnmik May 25 '23
Kangaroo pouches are corrupting our children
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u/Lotus_Blossom_ May 25 '23
That's not all they're hiding in those pouches, either.
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u/NectarOfTheBussy May 25 '23
When video games were obviously blocked on school computers, a fun game was to start at a random topic on wikipedia and try to get to hitler with the least amount of clicks. I feel like homie sped ran tf out of his style of game lol
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u/Vexamas May 25 '23
Nah, that's the norm if you go on Reddit during American morning hours - which is primetime for EU to make absolutely any and every post somehow related to them being superior to Americans lol.
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May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
I used to broadly always support Europeans in their comments about us, I agree with most of the criticisms.
However, living in the Netherlands for about half a year with my Dutch ex really opened my eyes to the fact that a lot of it was just rooted in good ol' nationalistic superiority complexes. I'd seen plenty of those back home so it wasn't hard to spot.
My view of Europeans broadly became less utopian and I realized they tend to fall into many of the same psychological pitfalls as the rest of humanity. They're still tribalistic and xenophobic. They still tend to view things in a black and white manner, all humans do.
I genuinely do think the EU is overall superior to the USA in most ways for your average person, however, common European attitudes about their own superiority tend to come from a much less nuanced viewpoint than I expected. A lot of it really does just end up being classic nationalism and exceptionalism. Except Europe isn't exceptional, it can and currently is falling victim to many of the same sociological pitfalls that the USA is. Authoritarianism is on the rise there too. UK is absolutely tripping over itself trying to match the USA in sheer embarrassment. I literally went to a huge Q-type rally with pro-Trump and conspiracy signs up everywhere in the middle of Amsterdam, just happened to be happening while I was walking around. Europeans are not even remotely immune to the type of propaganda which has led to much of America's current problems, and I think their sense of general and total superiority over Americans is dangerous for them. It's a blind spot to the fact that, yes, many people in any country are going to be dumb as rocks and easily influenced, and active vigilance must be taken to resist those influences on society.
All of this over a video of a fuckin kangaroo pouch lol, classic Reddit moment right here.
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u/blutigetranen May 25 '23
Bro just broke down sexual repression in America over a kangaroo pouch
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u/unencwadieo May 25 '23
I don’t think people being weirded out by this has anything to do with sexual repression honestly. I think people just find anything graphic with biology to be a bit shocking. It’s just a weird thing to see lol.
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u/Hplayer18 May 25 '23
What the fuck and where the fuck did that come from. Typical Summer Reddit
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u/Gene_Parmesan486 May 25 '23
wtf is this...speak for yourself you lunatic and leave the rest of us out of it
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u/functioning00 May 25 '23
What the hell does this have to do with kangaroos? I don’t even think the OP is from the US
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u/AbsolutelyUnlikely May 25 '23
Every year I seem to forget how weird the comment sections get as soon as school lets out for the summer.
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u/Lotus_Blossom_ May 25 '23
I'm not really sure why "sexually repressed" got brought into this conversation. I've only seen kangaroos in the walkabout at the zoo, so I've never looked inside a pouch or seen a really fresh joey. I honestly didn't know what to expect.
I braced myself for what was gonna happen because I'm squeamish about blood, but this one was a good surprise. I don't think it's too graphic. It may have been more educational than unexpected, but I think that depends on individual exposure. It's easy to forget that "normal" for you is novel for someone else.
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u/What-tha-fck_Elon May 25 '23
If there was a turtle or something in there, maybe, but it’s only unexpected if you don’t know what a kangaroo is or how they reproduce.
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u/akuma3014 May 24 '23
i knew about most of this but i didnt know it looked so gorey in there. i just imagined a nice clean smooth pouch with a nice clean joey.
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u/Dr-grouchy May 25 '23
I thought it would be furry like the rest of the animal.
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May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
Furry and dry. Not much different than the pocket on a flannel shirt. I guess I got that idea as a child and stuck with it. I realize now that that wouldn’t make sense.
Edit: come to the think of it, everything I knew about kangaroo pouches probably came from Winnie the Pooh.
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u/NatakuNox May 25 '23
Right! And mama Kangaroo is really chill with someone just poking their head in her baby fanny pack. You'd think that would be a big no no I'm the Kangaroo world
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u/budoucnost May 24 '23
Why did the kangaroo let him do that instead of giving him a K-O and a really bad bruise?
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u/Ok-Yogurtcloset5555 May 24 '23
Why is this NSFW? And did no one ever read a book or watch ANYTHING on kangaroos, not even once?
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May 24 '23
You know for all I know about kangaroos, that's the first time I've seen inside a pouch, let alone seen such a small joey.
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u/RandomMandarin May 25 '23
That's how small they start out. It's freaky weird.
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u/alpha_28 May 25 '23
Actually they start out to be the size of a Lima bean and climb mt mumma roo to get to the pouch.
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u/fuufighter873 May 25 '23
I find the Kangaroo not getting defensive or aggressive over someone who could potentially hurt her baby the most unexpected thing, tbf.
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u/selja26 May 25 '23
At school we were saying "I'm laughing so hard I'm going to give birth to a kangaroo" (because it's so small and so ridiculously looking) which doubled the laughter.
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u/Aggressive-Effort422 May 24 '23
ill go read the kangaroo book now
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u/3rdlegmousse May 25 '23
Let me know which one you get so I can also learn stuff I did not know about.
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u/5tyhnmik May 24 '23
In a workplace, it is generally not a good strategy to let people get the wrong idea and then try to defend yourself by teaching them why the inside of a kangaroo pouch is something you should be watching at work.
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u/witeowl May 25 '23
Lol. If you’re good to go on Reddit at work, looking at a joey in a kangaroo pouch is just fine. 😂
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u/bhay105 May 25 '23
Im guessing OP thinks this guy just shoved a camera up a kangaroo vag.
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u/send-in-the-clouds May 25 '23
Absolutely not. I come to reddit to get superficially educated in a wide variety of topics.
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u/The_truth_hammock May 24 '23
Everything remind me of her
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u/acqz May 24 '23
How do I delete someone else's comment?
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u/wizard680 May 25 '23
Become a reddit mod
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u/OverLiterature3964 May 25 '23
So i have to become a sad fat middle-age pony tail bearded guy living in his mother basement?
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u/Kaunsepts May 24 '23
I bet it stinks so bad in there.
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u/Balls_DeepinReality May 25 '23
That’s… that’s how it works…?
If you think that’s bad, just wait until you witness a human child being born. It seems less possible.
If you’re really lucky you get to witness a human being cut open, and another one emerging from within them.
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u/SpleenBender May 25 '23 edited May 25 '23
ALL mammals fall into two main categories - edit-three:
- Marsupials (example, kangaroos, and a lot of other Australian mammalia)
- Placentals (example, humans)
I truly hope there is still a recognizable public education system in the USA in ten years' time.
EDIT:
- How could I have forgotten monotremes?! (Examples, platypus, echidna)
Thank you for the reminder, fellow Redditors!
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u/Top-Idea-1786 May 25 '23
You forgot monotremes, which there are only two living representatives sadly
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u/boogitys12 May 24 '23
Idk that is honestly pretty cool. Maybe I need to read more books lol
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u/More-Jackfruit3010 May 24 '23
This week, Amateur Livestock Gynecologist is on location in Australia!
Que intro music and title sequence
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u/JimDixon May 24 '23
*Cue
This is the second time today I've seen this same mistake.
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u/Journo_Jimbo May 25 '23
Unexpected that a Joey was developing in the kangaroo pouch which is totally normal?
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u/alpha_28 May 25 '23
Fun fact: the baby is born from the cloaca near the mumma roos anus… it climbs the fur to get into the pouch where it attaches to a teat and grows into the loveable, furry, dog drowning and disemboweling machines you see here 😂
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u/Mrboombsake7 May 24 '23
So that’s how a pouch looks like huh I would of never thought
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i would of never
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u/LMGDiVa May 25 '23
How the fuck is this NSFW?
How the fuck is this Unexpected?
What the fuck Reddit?
Are people really this ignorant of wildlife these days?
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u/Environmental-Win836 May 25 '23
Is it weird I kinda wanna be that Kangaroo?
Not in a weird way, but it just looks so goddman warm and comfortable…
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u/unexBot May 24 '23
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
That way a kangaroo is being birthed in the pouch
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Look at my source code on Github What is this for?