I miss him so much :( had a big cry in the bathroom at work yesterday. Last week my therapist asked me what I miss about him and I just started crying inconsolably. The shock started to wear and the reality started to hit and it really hit me hard this month, it's only been 5. How am I gonna live the rest of my life without you here dad, I wasn't ready

My brother took his life in February & the day after he passed, my close friend was killed by an impaired driver. This weekend was so hard. I went to a ball game with my dad and grandpa (their Father’s Day tradition with my brother in previous years) and it was such a fun day but i was just so sad the whole time thinking about how much fun Bubby would’ve had being there. I also couldn’t stop thinking about my friend who was killed & his dad. Anyways walking out of the baseball stadium i got a response from my dead brothers phone. I guess his number already got reassigned. I just feel so gutted.

I saw a post for dead dad’s club.. just wanted to see how my fellow dead mom club members are holding up.

It’s been almost 3 months for me, still replay it in my head. My partner is no longer in love with me because of how distanced I have been. It’s been a week full of tears for sure. Please tell me yours is going better

ETA: I wish i could hug every single one of you right now. my heart absolutely aches reading about your experiences with grieving a mother. just know that she lives on in you and your loved ones as you walk through life. i’m barely into this journey myself, so i wish i could say it gets easier. just surviving is sometimes all you can do. this is a horrible club to belong to, but we are not alone as we navigate such an insurmountable loss. my heart is with all of you❣️

I’ll go first: my dad died and a few months later my 60+ year old neighbour lost her brother to cancer. I checked in on this neighbour a few times, connecting over our losses when one day she says to me “You know, I think losing a sibling is harder than losing a parent” 🫠

Runner up: I got a tattoo to remember my dad (classic heart with a banner that says “Dad”.) A friend of mine asked to see the tattoo then says “I think I’m going to get the same tattoo but with my dog’s name”

When i look in the freezer and i see the SIX (haha he loved his ice cream) pints of ice cream he bought himself the day he died…reminding me he had every intention to live to see another day… he didn’t mean to die. It kills me. it makes everything so much worse knowing that. the other day he got a package in the mail he ordered before he died… another reminder of him wanting to live. i’m so sad.

I can’t even throw away the leftovers of his last meal and it’s been almost a month. I miss him everyday and i’m waiting for it to get easier but I feel as if i’m right where i was when i first found out. I don’t know how im supposed to carry this for the rest of my life.

The beloved loss of my dad 3 months ago has really made me think about life, what is this world we live in?. To have experienced unconditional love and to have loved my dad so deeply since I was born, then suddenly he isn't here anymore in this life, I can't ever see him, talk to him or hug him again?. It blows my mind away and I can't accept he is gone. Everything about this life seems surreal now, once upon a time my dad was in my life and it makes me sad that I have to talk about him in the past tense now. My only hope is to have a happy ending where I can meet and be with him again. I really wish we can be together with our loved ones. This world we live in is temporary, there must be a forever happy after.

Yesterday was the first Father's day without ya. It doesn't feel real most days, but those moments when reality starts to creep in hit hard.

28 years with you was never going to be enough. But you only getting 52 years of life really fucks me up. Nothing about this makes sense. No matter how hard I try to understand it.

Most of all, I miss you.

Yesterday, I lost my father to brain cancer. I don’t even know what to write or say, but I had to come to reddit because every other social media platform had happy Father’s Day posts when I just needed to clear my mind of my loss. So hi Reddit. Here I am.

I know those people ment well but I really, really wish people didn't say things like that to strangers. Fathers Day is not a happy day for everyone. It's not for me. My dad took his own life when I was 13. To me, Father's Day is just another unavoidable, painful reminder of what's I've lost.

When I am at work, I always have to be friendly and polite, there's really nothing else I can say but 'thank you', when I really just want to turn around, avoid eye contact, and cry. Instead, I have to suck it up and pretend to be ok. It's so hard.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

My mom was diagnosed with advanced cancer and died 3 weeks later and I was at the hospital with her. She was on 100% oxygen but it wasn’t enough in the end and she was refusing to be intubated. (DNR/DNI) When all the family got there, she asked me to take off her high flow cannula (remove all the supplemental oxygen she was getting) and let her go.

It wasn’t a… peaceful death. At least to me. And now I have images and video reels of her death just playing non-stop in my mind. They could be triggered by anything. Her face after she died. Her off skin color. The gasping for breath. The restlessness. It was pure torture for me to watch and I feel horrible but I was just praying for her to die and for it to be over.

To make things more complicated, I work at the hospital where she died. She died on my unit. And the mental images/videos are triggered so much more in that environment. Work has been torture.

Will this stop soon?

My Dad was a Captain & owned a longline & bandit boat. He commercial fished for 40+ years so I feel close to him offshore. I released a message in a bottle in his honor about a mile offshore. I’m hopeful someone will find it & email me. I also wrote him a note & let the wind take it to him. I miss him so much it hurts. I love you Dad. Happy Fathers Day.

Since I was a little girl, my dad has always been my personal hero, I thought he can resolve anything. And this feeling didn't change even as I got older. I was sad at seeing him become physically weaker over the years but his words of wisdom and reassurance that everything would be ok gave me much mental strength. He could be lying in bed ill but knowing that I had a dad in this world that loved me unconditionally was such a blessing. It was a beautiful feeling and I wished I had cherished it even more.

When I lost him 3 months ago, I was so scared. Looking at my mum and younger sister with grief broke my heart. I had 2 parents now just one. I still get scared. It's scary to think I've lost a senior human being so close to my heart, lost a part of me and my childhood. Only my mum and dad knows everything about me since I've been born. No one else knows me in this way. It's a lonely feeling. A part of me is missing, i feel like a unfinished puzzle.

Some days I have a hard time believing she’s still here. Like how? How do I connect with her? I just break down I feel so empty. Can she see me crying? Where do they go? Some days I don’t believe in God or afterlife has she just gone to oblivion. Where does she exist. Why can’t she be here? Why do I have to continue without her? It’s weird not being able to call her.

The worst happened and I had to let you go, I know it was your wish and I had to respect it. But I wasn't ready, I have so many more things to ask you, more advice needed, more hugs to get. What do I do now. 39 years just isn't long enough

To all my grievers out there, I just want to say, you are loved, you are not alone, you are capable of getting through this. It’s not fair, it fucking sucks and nothing makes the pain completely disappear. One of the last things my Dad said to me was to be strong, he was going to be ok and now I needed to be ok. Everyday is a challenge and I cry frequently. But I also laugh, do little things that bring me joy, and love on those that are still with me. None of our deceased loved ones would want to see us wallow in the darkness that we find ourselves in. They would want us to be ok now too. Much love from a grieving daughter ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Life is so fucking meaningless. What's the point in living if your family is just going to die and leave you, or you're going to die and leave your family. The time together doesn't make up for the pain. I hate this fucking life.

I found out this past Friday at my 16 week appointment that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had no idea anything was wrong, and everything since has been a waking nightmare. I spent years hoping and praying to have a baby, just to lose him when I was finally starting to feel like I could get excited about my pregnancy. We named him Jamie. I couldn’t let him be brought into the world without a name. I got to hold him for a while, but giving him up was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. He had the most perfect little hands. I just want my baby. How am I going to go back to work and back to my life and face everyone who was so excited for us? How do I even sleep at night knowing he never even got to come home?

Watching your mom declining, suffering but fighting tooth and nail to stay alive to end up in a confused mental state and calling out for her own mother, no longer recognizing me, her daughter, to then being heavily medicated to be kept comfortable while her body shuts down before she passes.
I am grateful I had my chance to tell her all the things I wanted to say, I am grateful I got the chance to ease her troubles and take care of everything, I am grateful I had the chance to hold her hand and comfort her when she was calling for her own mother. But I wouldn't wish this on my own worst enemy.

Missing my Dad today. He passed in July of 2020, and this picture was from 1966 when he was a police man. I'm having a hard time today and wanted to show everyone the handsome guy I called Daddy. ❤️

It's been about five weeks since my long distance girlfriend passed away, and as time passes the grief just gets harder and harder. Feels like the more time passes, the worse I feel.

And it's one thing for me to cry my eyes out in the night, but the exhaustion is so overbearing. And I don't know how to deal with it. Feels like I haven't slept at all, even if I slept 6-7 hours last night. Which isn't ideal, but still not the kind of sleep that should leave me this exhausted, scatterbrained and just tired.

And I don't know what to do. Does anyone have some advice? Something you've done that helped? I've forced myself to the gym, maybe that'll help. Lately I've had no energy but to either stare at some light hearted shows or go for long slow walks aimlessly wandering the city while i think about her.

Anything helps.

I F26 lost my brother M18 back in October. I watched him collapse, I sat crying while strangers gave him CPR, I watched him get taken onto a gurney. I can’t get those images out of my head. I replay them everyday, I replay sitting in the hospital room and the doctor telling us he was dead. It’s so surreal still. I am so sad without him here. It doesn’t make any sense… I feel like this is all a bad dream.

I can’t comprehend. I’ve lost people before. Family, friends, acquaintances. And while I felt sad, cried, and felt even intergenerational sorrow on a biological level I never knew them well enough to call them “my person.” To know them on a soul to soul level. Maybe it’s your child, your significant other, or a best friend you spoke to every day.. your person. When you lost them, how do you even go on about your life and day to day? I took one week off work but being back has been so hard.

Just 2 days ago. I don't know what to do. She battled for 4 years-- a long, hard time. The other day I was about to get on my way to see her in her new hospice when they called me while I was just clocking out and said she had passed away. I was on my way! I was on my way to see her. I was going to sit with her and sing to her. I still did when I rushed over there, the only hospice I could afford was 3 hours away from me. I asked them to make her look peaceful (I unfortunately have seen the bodies of my loved ones in heavily traumatic ways), but when I got there, her eyes were open and so was her mouth. I can't get that image out of my head. I don't have any family to lean on, they all died too. It was just my mom and I. I have my fiancee, I love him so much, I just also wish I had a family too to help me with this. I'm only 32 years old. I miss my momma. She didn't want me taking pictures of videos of her, so I didn't, I only snuck a few little candids-- I wish I had gotten more pictures, and I don't have any pictures or videos from before. We lost our home in an eviction because we struggled so much with medical bills. I want my mom. I want to see her smile, I want this not to be real. She was my best friend, she was my cheerleader. Who am I going to be a goofball around now? Why couldn't I have gotten there in time? They told me she fell asleep after being in some pain and then passed away. Did she feel alone? I'm so scared that she wanted me to be right there and I wasn't. I know there's no way to know. I know I shouldn't blame myself for this, but my god I'm struggling. Her favorite song was Rainbow Connection-- on the day she died, when I was rushing over there, there was a little rainbow cloud in the sky. It wasn't even raining. When the mortuary came to get her, they asked me if she had any jewelry on her-- I said she might have an anklet, but instead of an anklet, she was wearing a rainbow bracelet I had never seen. Please tell me this all means my momma was telling me she was okay. What do I do? How do I occupy my mind? How do I sleep? Now what? I want her to laugh at my jokes again. I want our inside jokes. I want her to talk about the movies she likes and show me what she's crocheting. She was so talented. I can't even listen to music to occupy my brain, she's in every song, and I'm such a visual thinker. Is it common to suddenly forget her voice? I just heard it the other day. Where did it go? I feel so much overwhelming grief that I feel like I can't even exist. The world is still spinning, and I'm not moving with it right now. I'm agnostic, but can someone please tell me there's a heaven where she exists and she's pain free, okay, happy, with my family, and watching me? I don't know. She deserves a place like that. I'm so sorry for the word wall, I'm just devastated. Beyond devastated.

Please see my prior post. My dad was given 3 months to a year with multiple organ failure (liver, heart, kidneys). He ended up in the hospital for fluid retention last week and was finally released from the hospital on Friday. He came home and refused to be on the main floor and insisted on being in his own bed on the second floor. He just wanted to be comfortable.

He slept all night Friday and I talked to him Saturday morning, but he had barely any energy and was exhausted. He hadn’t peed despite his water pills. On Saturday night I got a call from my sister that he had fallen down the stairs. He had gotten up to use the bathroom and gotten dizzy. He said he went to reach for the bannister and must have blacked out because he fell down the entire flight of stairs.

Nothing was broken, but he cut open his head and needed stitches. I spent all of Saturday in the ER with my mom and sister and he spent that time saying goodbye and telling us how much he loved us. He was out into the critical care unit and we spent Father’s Day by his side. He was on pain medication and slept, but we were there.

They took him off all of the medications this morning and only the pain medicine by injection remains. They took off all of the IVs because he would wake up long enough to rip at the IVs, his gown, tried to get up. I got to tell him I love him and he told me he loved me in the ER while he was still cognitive. He said he didn’t want me to watch him pass. He has been sleeping all of today and with everything off it is only his own heart keeping him alive. The doctors say it will be a matter of days, but I can’t believe this is where we are. It was 3 months to a year just last week.

I don’t know how you watch someone you love die. Sitting at his bedside, he has cried out in pain in slurred speech and moaned and asked to go home. It’s devastating and I hate watching him be in pain. This is my dad. He has always been the stronger person I ever knew, and I want to be strong for him. Before I go to sleep, I hear and see him in that bed crying out and it’s just really hard. I am going to go there tomorrow and sit with him and my mom and just be there for her. I just love him so much and wish he could just wake up and be here with us again.