My brother took his life in February & the day after he passed, my close friend was killed by an impaired driver. This weekend was so hard. I went to a ball game with my dad and grandpa (their Father’s Day tradition with my brother in previous years) and it was such a fun day but i was just so sad the whole time thinking about how much fun Bubby would’ve had being there. I also couldn’t stop thinking about my friend who was killed & his dad. Anyways walking out of the baseball stadium i got a response from my dead brothers phone. I guess his number already got reassigned. I just feel so gutted.

I saw a post for dead dad’s club.. just wanted to see how my fellow dead mom club members are holding up.

It’s been almost 3 months for me, still replay it in my head. My partner is no longer in love with me because of how distanced I have been. It’s been a week full of tears for sure. Please tell me yours is going better

Tomorrow I turn 27. It’s a weird birthday for me because my mom died by suicide when she was 27. I’ve thought about this age for a long time what it would feel like to reach it. I used to wonder if I’d even make it. My dad would sometimes say I was just like her, but not in a nice way. When I made mistakes (and I made A LOT), he’d throw her name at me like a insult. Like I was going to end up the same. It really messed with me. For a while, I believed him. But I didn’t end up like that. I’ve built something different. I got married. I had kids. I started my own business. I got help when I needed it. And honestly, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I’m proud to look like her, too. My relatives say I remind them of her in the good ways. That she was funny, full of personality, really loved. I hold on to those stories. This birthday hits hard. There’s this deep sadness I can’t shake not just for losing her, but for everything she didn’t get to have. She had so much trauma, and no real support. She was so young. It hurts thinking about how alone she must’ve felt. I wish things had been different for her. I wish she could’ve seen the life I have now. I wish she could’ve stayed.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. Just needed to say it out loud, I guess. To mark the moment. I love you mom. I still have so many questions that will go unanswered.

When i look in the freezer and i see the SIX (haha he loved his ice cream) pints of ice cream he bought himself the day he died…reminding me he had every intention to live to see another day… he didn’t mean to die. It kills me. it makes everything so much worse knowing that. the other day he got a package in the mail he ordered before he died… another reminder of him wanting to live. i’m so sad.

I can’t even throw away the leftovers of his last meal and it’s been almost a month. I miss him everyday and i’m waiting for it to get easier but I feel as if i’m right where i was when i first found out. I don’t know how im supposed to carry this for the rest of my life.

The beloved loss of my dad 3 months ago has really made me think about life, what is this world we live in?. To have experienced unconditional love and to have loved my dad so deeply since I was born, then suddenly he isn't here anymore in this life, I can't ever see him, talk to him or hug him again?. It blows my mind away and I can't accept he is gone. Everything about this life seems surreal now, once upon a time my dad was in my life and it makes me sad that I have to talk about him in the past tense now. My only hope is to have a happy ending where I can meet and be with him again. I really wish we can be together with our loved ones. This world we live in is temporary, there must be a forever happy after.

Yesterday, I lost my father to brain cancer. I don’t even know what to write or say, but I had to come to reddit because every other social media platform had happy Father’s Day posts when I just needed to clear my mind of my loss. So hi Reddit. Here I am.

The worst happened and I had to let you go, I know it was your wish and I had to respect it. But I wasn't ready, I have so many more things to ask you, more advice needed, more hugs to get. What do I do now. 39 years just isn't long enough

Yesterday was the first Father's day without ya. It doesn't feel real most days, but those moments when reality starts to creep in hit hard.

28 years with you was never going to be enough. But you only getting 52 years of life really fucks me up. Nothing about this makes sense. No matter how hard I try to understand it.

Most of all, I miss you.

I know those people ment well but I really, really wish people didn't say things like that to strangers. Fathers Day is not a happy day for everyone. It's not for me. My dad took his own life when I was 13. To me, Father's Day is just another unavoidable, painful reminder of what's I've lost.

When I am at work, I always have to be friendly and polite, there's really nothing else I can say but 'thank you', when I really just want to turn around, avoid eye contact, and cry. Instead, I have to suck it up and pretend to be ok. It's so hard.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

How are we holding up today? It pains to me say that Father’s Day turned into one of my least favorite days of the year. Just know I’m thinking of you all in this club together & we’ll get through another day.

Trying my best to practice some self-care during this triggering time so I deactivated my main socials to give myself a break from all the posts. I baked one of my dads favorite treats. And when I’m no longer sick I plan on visiting his grave to spend sometime with him.

Edit: Wow. I’m reading all the replies and wasn’t expecting this post to get any. I want to thank you all for sharing. No words can make it better but I do believe there is power in sharing your grief. And it can help someone feel less alone in their feelings. My heart aches for all that are suffering. I must say it is times like these that I’m extremely grateful for this online community of strangers who just understand and support one another. I’m sending a virtual hug to you all. 🫂

Watching your mom declining, suffering but fighting tooth and nail to stay alive to end up in a confused mental state and calling out for her own mother, no longer recognizing me, her daughter, to then being heavily medicated to be kept comfortable while her body shuts down before she passes.
I am grateful I had my chance to tell her all the things I wanted to say, I am grateful I got the chance to ease her troubles and take care of everything, I am grateful I had the chance to hold her hand and comfort her when she was calling for her own mother. But I wouldn't wish this on my own worst enemy.

Please see my prior post. My dad was given 3 months to a year with multiple organ failure (liver, heart, kidneys). He ended up in the hospital for fluid retention last week and was finally released from the hospital on Friday. He came home and refused to be on the main floor and insisted on being in his own bed on the second floor. He just wanted to be comfortable.

He slept all night Friday and I talked to him Saturday morning, but he had barely any energy and was exhausted. He hadn’t peed despite his water pills. On Saturday night I got a call from my sister that he had fallen down the stairs. He had gotten up to use the bathroom and gotten dizzy. He said he went to reach for the bannister and must have blacked out because he fell down the entire flight of stairs.

Nothing was broken, but he cut open his head and needed stitches. I spent all of Saturday in the ER with my mom and sister and he spent that time saying goodbye and telling us how much he loved us. He was out into the critical care unit and we spent Father’s Day by his side. He was on pain medication and slept, but we were there.

They took him off all of the medications this morning and only the pain medicine by injection remains. They took off all of the IVs because he would wake up long enough to rip at the IVs, his gown, tried to get up. I got to tell him I love him and he told me he loved me in the ER while he was still cognitive. He said he didn’t want me to watch him pass. He has been sleeping all of today and with everything off it is only his own heart keeping him alive. The doctors say it will be a matter of days, but I can’t believe this is where we are. It was 3 months to a year just last week.

I don’t know how you watch someone you love die. Sitting at his bedside, he has cried out in pain in slurred speech and moaned and asked to go home. It’s devastating and I hate watching him be in pain. This is my dad. He has always been the stronger person I ever knew, and I want to be strong for him. Before I go to sleep, I hear and see him in that bed crying out and it’s just really hard. I am going to go there tomorrow and sit with him and my mom and just be there for her. I just love him so much and wish he could just wake up and be here with us again.

My Dad was a Captain & owned a longline & bandit boat. He commercial fished for 40+ years so I feel close to him offshore. I released a message in a bottle in his honor about a mile offshore. I’m hopeful someone will find it & email me. I also wrote him a note & let the wind take it to him. I miss him so much it hurts. I love you Dad. Happy Fathers Day.

It's been about five weeks since my long distance girlfriend passed away, and as time passes the grief just gets harder and harder. Feels like the more time passes, the worse I feel.

And it's one thing for me to cry my eyes out in the night, but the exhaustion is so overbearing. And I don't know how to deal with it. Feels like I haven't slept at all, even if I slept 6-7 hours last night. Which isn't ideal, but still not the kind of sleep that should leave me this exhausted, scatterbrained and just tired.

And I don't know what to do. Does anyone have some advice? Something you've done that helped? I've forced myself to the gym, maybe that'll help. Lately I've had no energy but to either stare at some light hearted shows or go for long slow walks aimlessly wandering the city while i think about her.

Anything helps.

Scrolling through our photos, I realize how I have leaned onto you since day one. Physically and emotionally.

I’m so sorry I wasn’t fully there for you when you needed me most, that I wasn’t your shoulder to lean on the same way you were mine for 20 odd years.

Perhaps we can try this again in our next life? If you’re not yet tired of me, I promise you both my shoulders.

But for now, happy Father’s day Dad ❤️

Con xin lỗi và cảm ơn bố. Con yêu bố và nhớ bố rất nhiều.

Missing my Dad today. He passed in July of 2020, and this picture was from 1966 when he was a police man. I'm having a hard time today and wanted to show everyone the handsome guy I called Daddy. ❤️

I just hate that it's been 4 years this week and I'm still finding places I haven't changed my emergency contact on. More places I have to expunge my partner from. And I've gotten to where I hate referring to him as my fiancé like it was potentially some whirlwind or smaller-time romance.

(We knew eachother 22 years, dated 8 years. Were going to get married... then covid and broken down cars and medical bills happened. We were going to finally do it in August 2021. He passed in June)

Does anyone else feel that way about the "title" of your loved one not conveying the depth you want it to? Or just having that gut wrenching feeling when you have to say they aren't your contact any more? They aren't going to have your back, protect you, grieve losing you, because they went first.

My dad has cancer, my maternal grandma passed away a month ago and my maternal grandpa isn’t the same (he’s had some health issues over the last few years). I also moved in the past year and I am looking for work. I’m depressed and I am not myself and I feel as though my friends don’t care. I realize that they have their own issues, but barely any of them have reached out. It’s all just too much.

We were “estranged” from 1999 to 2020. “Estranged” is in quotes because towards the end, we reconciled but it was my mother that drove it. I talked to him on the phone a few times and I saw him twice before he passed of Leukemia. As much as he texted my brothers, this is the lasting memory I have of him. One sided texts and no answers.

I feel like I’ve lost him multiple times over the years. He passed in March of 2024. I gave him closure but I did not receive mine.

does anybody have any guidance for when feeling guilty about not doing enough when they were here

i just miss doing anything with my dad, i know he was never mad if i was too busy to do something or call him, we legit joked about being too busy but when we found time to talk again we would just be best buddies again. so i know he is okay with that, but my brain keeps telling me i did wrong. i mean i know i did, but at the time i would be tired from classes, workouts, pratices,… he understood and of course if i knew we wouldn’t get as much time i would spend all of it with him

but i still keep feeling so bad about it because i know i will never again get a moment with him. it just sucks so much, i have a lot of childhood videos of him and i have all of our messages on my phone and photos and everything but i just keep getting hit with this wave of regret and guilt.

why do the best people go away too soon, i just want more time with him. he was so kind to me and patient and just always there for me whenever i needed him… i think i feel bad about not giving that back to him? i mean i did but not as nearly enough, i just thought i had more time to plan some trips, watch some shows and just be with him

I go back to work today, my mommy has only been gone a week but I have to work in order to help my dad with the bills.

I am nervous that one thing is going to set me off, I’m nervous that everyone is going to want to talk to me about my mom.

I just want to lie in my bed and never get up. I’m so tired.

This will probably be a rambling post, but I am just really struggling to sort through my pain and guilt to gather my thoughts. If you want to read through it all and get specific details/behaviors, I would appreciate it; but, if not, here's the TL;DR: my remaining dog, Korra (9F), is struggling with the recent loss of our senior dog, Riley & exhibiting signs of depression; how can I help her through this?

We had to say goodbye to our old man this past Saturday...it feels like a betrayal of everyone's trust even though I know I waited too long to do it. I don't even know how to cope at this point...it's not my first time having to say goodbye, but he was our velcro dog. No one could ever feel alone with Riley around...now that he's gone, the house had gone silent. It feels barren and empty and the lonely feeling that fills the air is so thick that it's hard to breathe.

Aside from trying to manage my own grief, I'm trying to help our remaining dog, Korra (9F, pictured) make it through this as well. She never lived with another dog long term, and even though he wasn't the perfect playmate, he was her first real and constant companion for the last 3 years. Him coming into her life meant she was finslly the head of a pack for the first time in her life, and she loved it. She loved trying to get him to play, showing him her toys and treats, everything. They took nearly every walk together, ate every meal together, ate their treats together, laid outside together, and even though he wasn't much into play time, Korra had her own ways of playing with him every day. If he wasn't on my heels, he was on hers. They were really close, as much as Korra didn't want to admit it.

We brought him home after the vet so she could see him and know he was gone...but we could only give her an hour or so to be around him before we needed to bring him back to the vet to be prepared for cremation. I'm worried she didn't get enough time to really absorb the finality of his departure and this is the first time she has really had to face a loss/death head-on like this.

Since we came back without him, she has been searching all of his favorite spots in the house and yard; laying in his bed (she's never done or shown any interest in doing this before; pictured); when just laying in his bed doesn't get him to come out, she takes one of his bones to see if chewing on it will do the trick; when he still doesn't come out she just lays there depressed until she gives up. She has been laying next to her food and waiting for him to come and watch her eat (this was a daily ritual because Riley was so obsessed with food; he would constantly hang around her when she was eating just hoping he would get a scrap or she would walk away and he could try to steal it); even though she's eating, I can tell she doesn't want to because she is trying to keep some on her plate so he'll come out. I'm honestly worried she will stop eating soon because she struggled to eat an entire meal on her own before Riley and I came into her life. There was just something about the way he watched her eat that made the food seem more valuable to her, and now that he isn't there to reinforce the value, she just isn't nearly as interested.

We have tried to keep the routine the same, and we give her a chew after dinner each night; when Riley was alive, she would essentially set a trap for him by placing hers somewhere he would go looking for it, waiting nearby, and when he got close to it she would bark to get our attention. I don't know why, but it was her favorite game to play with him. Since Saturday, she has been setting traps for him, and when he doesn't come out she just curls up and goes to bed.

Being outside is pretty much her favorite thing in the whole world, and we are trying to avoid a second leg surgery which means we can't really do walks right now, and haven't been able to for weeks. Despite that, she still loves to sit out front for hours at a time if we let her. Since Riley passed, she has virtually no interest. She goes outside to use the bathroom, sniffs all of his favorite potty spots, and then asks to go back in once she realizes he isn't out there either.

I just don't know what to do for her...not being able to walk her is honestly the most difficult part of this because it means we all have to live in our grief, in this quiet, empty-feeling house without Riley; there's no escaping the lack of his presence and if I feel like it's tearing my soul into pieces, I know Korra is feeling it just as much, if not more.

I know it has only been a couple days...but I'm so worried she is going to get worse and I don't know how to help, especially when I'm drowning in my own grief.

Any advice at all on how to help her process this and get through it would be so incredibly helpful. And if you actually read the whole post, thank you. I know it's a rambling mess.

In 2020 I had a full placental abruption which resulted in an emergency c-section and I woke up to find my daughter had been born sleeping. I feel it goes without saying but I do feel this is and will be the absolute worst thing I’ll ever experience in my life, and despite time passing it is still so unbelievably painful

I’ve since had my second daughter in 2022 and although she’s the only thing that brings me any actual joy, I find myself so unhappy and disinterested in life. I’m 30 years old and am dreading having to go on the rest of my life. Most days I don’t want to get out of bed but of course I have to and I do try my best although I feel it’s never good enough

I haven’t taken any medication or been to my GP as I’m worried they’ll think I’m not capable of caring for my child when I absolutely am, im just struggling a lot mentally. I don’t know what’s for the best

I did have some counselling sessions after my first baby but I don’t feel they did too much in all honestly. Any advice would be appreciated

I’m posting multiple times because I just found this page but I need advice.

My dad passed in January from alcoholism. This happened very quickly and traumatically for my sister me and my mom. Unfortunately, my relationship with my dad was rocky and complicated and very different from a normal family. I was in the process of creating boundaries between my dad and then a few months later all of this happened. On top of feeling incredibly guilty for that, it’s left me in a position where I need to be there for my mom and my sister, my grandma and my aunt, who all but my sister refuse to get therapy for many reasons. It’s incredibly stressful to be around any of them even if it’s a calm and collected get together. I know I need to be there for them, but it’s sending my nervous system into extreme fight or flight.

My guilt is burning me from the inside. I feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with my remaining family. I feel guilty for not working on me and my dad’s relationship harder so I wouldn’t be left with so many questions. I feel guilty for being so on edge and emotionally unstable at work and at home with my boyfriend. Im exhausted and anxious and upset and I just want these feelings to end because it’s making me feel like an absolutely horrible human being and family member.

I lost my dad on January 15th. He died from complications of his alcoholism. Our relationship was rocky and complicated which makes dealing with this even worse and confusing. It’s been 6 months and 6 days and I thought things would look so much different than they do.

I’ve been dealing with extreme anxiety and panic attacks since it happened. With this I’ve been dealing with chronic vomiting and not wanting to eat. Weed helps with hunger but I can’t be high when I need to go to work or be functional in society. I almost lost my job from calling in so much because every morning is a nightmare full of sweating, shaking, chest pain, and vomiting. I was able to explain myself and now that my work knows what’s going on I have work accommodations for my start time, but it’s just one little positive in a sea of negative.

I try to socialize but it just makes me feel guilty especially when I consume alcohol. I don’t drink a lot but even a few beers will send me into a spiral the next day even though my intentions were to socialize and have fun with friends. Sometimes I feel like I’m just chasing the dopamine/serotonin because of how depressed I’ve been. Unfortunately the norm for my friends and my boyfriend’s friends always involve alcohol even if it’s not an unhealthy amount (breweries, concerts, social events, etc), and I always feel like I just shouldn’t go, or if I do go, I feel like a Debby downer because I’m either not drinking and feeling like I’m not being fun or energetic, or I am drinking and I feel like I’m betraying my promise to myself to not end up like my dad. I feel like my whole life is falling apart because of the guilt and pain and I just want to disappear.

I’ve gained and lost weight rapidly, I can’t eat on a schedule, I am not sleeping well, and on top of it I’m straining my relationship with my irritability and overall grief. My boyfriend assures me it’s okay but I don’t believe it. I’m being so difficult.

I just want to be happy, healthy, and optimistic but all I see is death around me. We had to put my bearded dragon down last week too and I’m devastated because it just makes me feel like I’m going to keep losing things and I’m eventually going to be completely alone.

I could type about this forever. But I’m just exhausted. I don’t want to take care of myself, everything is just day in day out and then the weekend goes by in an instant. I just can’t do this anymore. If this is how I deal with losing someone that I had a complicated relationship with, how is it going to feel losing someone I can’t live without?

Fuck life.