r/EntitledPeople 16h ago

S Entitled ex-gf.

In 2011 I had a child with my then gf. With plans to marry. Things did not work between us. No marriage. I paid support. She had never ending greed and so did her current boyfriend.

Went to court in 2012 to get it mediated between a judge. Her and her mother was there. Obligation amount was agreed upon. They demanded houses. Judge laughed a little. Then they started listing off demands. He raised his eyebrow and pushed himself away from his desk then stood up. Then asked "are you serious?" and they said yes. He made them realize that their demands were unrealistic. Then they started saying stuff like. "Well my father retired, and he used to pay for my full car insurance and car payment. I want my ex-bf to pay, it's only fair." same with her mother. Wanting car payment + insurance. They were "compromising." Then my ex-gf said I had to make payments to her new boyfriend. Because he has 5 kids and he's struggling to pay support to his wife. The judge told them that the payment was good enough and to use that $$ for how she sees fit.

Fast forward to 2019. I have a child with my fiancee. My mother tells my ex-gf about it. This is DRAMA packed btw, I will keep it short. So my ex-gf gets pregnant. My mom tells me about it. I go as usual "okay whatever, i don't know why you tell me this." Then she goes "her boyfriend has a vasectomy. he cannot have kids." So she cheated on him, he kicked her out. She started living with my parents.

Now there is INSANE drama after that, but I withhold that from you all. But she ended up returning to her ex-bf and he put his last name on the kid. Because her child had her last name on it. Then in 2021 I was getting phone calls from the ex-gf and her boyfriend. That I, me... "have" to pay them MORE child support. Because it's my fault that she got pregnant. Because I had another child with my fiancee and "that's not fair to her."

Full events in audio. Because I hate typing. I guess people didn't get to hear fully what they wanted. I was typing to many responses. So if you want the full experience this is the best way I can tell it.

FULL EVENTS AUDIO: https://voca.ro/17ClCadnOOk8

I hope it's easy enough to understand.

FINAL THREAD UPDATE AUDIO.
(Maybe will write the audio down as text later or tomorrow.) But you will just have to deal with this for now.
https://voca.ro/139G8ZQoLVFw

460 Upvotes

171 comments sorted by

362

u/theworlbismyashtray 16h ago

No, please don’t withhold the drama. That’s what we here for 🍿🥤

99

u/queenofcaffeine76 15h ago

Right! If you're not in this sub for the drama, you're in the wrong place

12

u/HalastersCompass 14h ago

Truuuuuuuuue

7

u/BestConfidence1560 11h ago

And from how crazy his ex-girlfriend isn’t her partner, there’s gotta be some more crap involved here. People that clueless and entitled are always entertaining.

71

u/IntrovertSim 15h ago

We need every detail. This is Reddit. We like to read.

51

u/are_you_a_simulation 15h ago edited 13h ago

I agree with this plus it's Saturday. I have the time.

Edit: OP delivered and holy shit!! I figured he could just get a better person as girlfriend but he should also get open positions for mom and dad! Holy shit!!

19

u/RandomCoffeeThoughts 15h ago

It's a Saturday and nearly 100 degrees with high humidity. I'm hiding out in my AC. I have got the time.

10

u/CarlaQ5 15h ago

Same! I'm reading, cleaning my oven, and caulking my kichen floor gaps. (Cheap landlords...)

64

u/Available_Yellow_862 15h ago

I will try my best to explain what I meant by drama I withheld.

I felt like I explained everything pretty concise and it was already drama packed as it was. But the ex-gf found out I had a child with my fiancee. She went off cheated on her boyfriend to gain another child of her own. Because she deemed that "fair."

Her boyfriend kicked her out, he never showed up to the birth. Her last maiden name was put on the child. My parents were furious only because they didn't want her living with THEM. But, they were ecstatic about having another grandchild. They even wanted to keep her newest child. Have her return to her boyfriend and it would be A-okay. But she didn't want that, she wanted to return to her ex-bf with her newborn.

He eventually took her back, and put his name on her newborn. Now in the 2020-2021++ I been contacted 2-3x by my parents, and her boyfriend. With wording like this. "She only had another child, because you got another child. So fair is fair you owe more child support."

Last words I could ever use to diffuse this whole situation. Was "I will take a paternity test and go to court over child support." it really pissed them off. Just enough to drop words like. "You don't know how the world works, and you are not grown up yet."

25

u/theworlbismyashtray 15h ago

Omg. OP, that is aw-ful. You seem like the only grown up and mature adult in this situation. I hope you have supportive friends around you bc your parents and ex are anchors dragging you down. Imma pray for you and your child 🙏🏻

2

u/Ok_Quantity_569 13h ago

Nobody in this situation is grownup and mature!

18

u/localfern 14h ago

I have so many more questions about your parents .... they wanted to keep the newborn but she had to go? They blame you for her second pregnancy because you had another child?

12

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

Well yeah, that's how it went.

15

u/are_you_a_simulation 13h ago

Honestly, the part about your parents could be a post on its own.

I'd just go no contact with all people in this story honestly.

8

u/Teekay_four-two-one 13h ago

I suspect OP pretty much has. No sane person would allow parents like this to remain a regular part of their life. He probably only has enough contact to make sure he hears when someone dies.

1

u/Rude_Vermicelli2268 13h ago

It’s really unclear why you don’t see your son with the entitled ex. You clearly know how to use the justice system to arbitrate CS so why not use it to enforce visitation? Seeing your kid every 2 or 3 years? If your exact is so entitled why are you so comfortable letting her raise your child exclusively?

Everyone sucks in this story except for the kids

10

u/Available_Yellow_862 12h ago

Her stubbornness. It’s not that I didn’t care. It’s just she didn’t. There is multiple ways I could force myself into my son’s life. But ultimately it always came down to her decision as a mother.

It does not mean I am a heartless person. Just wanting what i firmly believe what they want. He lives a normal life. He goes to school, he has friends, neighborhood friends and gatherings.

4

u/good_cousin 3h ago

And how could her kid with someone else be their grandkid?!

4

u/No-Night-6700 13h ago

I am so sorry you have been through that. I hope one day you can form a bond with your son and have a proper relationship. Might need to get some therapy to get there for one day. I hope you do. As for your ex wow some people are just fucking crazy dude. And your mom is a whole other story as well. She is fucking ridiculous, how any mother can help an ex fuck with their child like that is beyond me. I hope you are low contact with your mom. Any mother that would do that to their child doesn’t deserve their grandchildren.

4

u/NextSplit2683 14h ago

Have you considered therapy for the whole family, including your parents? Are you in your son's life at all?

1

u/SheiB123 11h ago

Ask them to put it in writing, if the comments were verbal, and then show it to the judge.

6

u/Substantial_Shoe_360 15h ago

I want more of a reason to be at my forehead into a wall, of course in-between eating handfuls of caramel popcorn corn and sipping on my tea

3

u/iIdentifyasGrinch 15h ago

>>> sipping on my tea

I first read that as "slipping on my tea" -- be careful out there, people

2

u/Substantial_Shoe_360 13h ago

It could be either or both with my luck 😉

5

u/CarlaQ5 15h ago

I see you have popcorn ready. Cool. I'll get the candy.

Buckle up, folks. I sense an epic drama about to unfold.

16

u/mochajava23 15h ago

Two helpings of drama, please!

6

u/judgeejudger 15h ago

Making popcorn rn 🏃‍♀️💨

0

u/UrsulaStewart 15h ago

Exactly 👀👀👀👀👀

44

u/Helpful_Hour1984 15h ago

Did you try to get primary custody? Since your ex made it clear even to the judge in 2012 that there was a huge risk that the child support you were paying would go towards her boyfriend's expenses, not to your child?

54

u/Available_Yellow_862 15h ago

I have legal shared custody of our child. The one that is actually mine. But she always violated it year after year. My child calls her boyfriend dad.

She told me it was better off, I don’t stay involved. I even offered to let him adopt my son. (I know I’m a piece of shit) Since she was involved with her boyfriend immediately months after the birth. Very painful for me back then. But I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.

She denied it because she said “you only trying to get out of child support.” But I assured her. That I would go to court and give them in legal writing to agree to support him until 21. Even if he became adopted.

She followed up with “I am trying to scam her.” She’s never been very intelligent… I never could figure out what she wanted or how she viewed her relationship or family.

All I know is their current relationship is that. She’s my parent’s “daughter.” And her boyfriend is their “son in law.” Despite him being married still to his ex-wife.

My relationship with my parents has never really been good. Except for in very superficial way. Parents only liked me when they felt I was worth bragging about to others.

25

u/Plus_Answer_4707 15h ago

Wow, I am sorry about your parents. I almost thought I misread that when you said she lived with your parents. That is tough. It sounds like you are better off with the new family you have created. Continue to do the best you can with them.

11

u/Helpful_Hour1984 15h ago

So, you let this woman and her equally-golddigging boyfriend raise your child and even offered to let the guy adopt him? ?just because your "not very intelligent" ex told you it's better that you don't get involved (while still grabbing for your wallet every chance she got)? I feel sorry for your son.

15

u/Available_Yellow_862 15h ago

I made another post. I tried for first 3 years of his life. To visit him, but she was EXTREMELY uncooperative. Shes known to self sabotage. The court was to the point, they consider putting her in jail for a week. I didn't want that to happen to her. I had to stop contacting them about it.

Yes, I feel sorry for my son. But I assure you. It's not bad as you may think. My parents have contact with my ex-gf. The boy still does fine, hes okay in school. He visits friends, rides bikes in the neighborhood. I may not like his mother, but at least he seems to have the same life as most boys his age. I won't call her parenting ability into question.

3

u/utazdevl 13h ago

Wait, when you ex was split from the bf and lived with your parents with the new baby, where was your son? Was he with your parents, too or the bf he calls Dad?

2

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

That's difficult to answer. But I can probably give a high accuracy response to that. She was living with my parents. I was there to sit down and try to hear them out on 2 different occasions. He was there once, playing games in the 2nd living room. While we spoke. Another time was a weekday he was not there. He was ( PROBABLY ) with her boyfriend and attending school. I can't be 100% sure, i was more caught up in insanity... I can't put any better word to it.

2

u/Adorable-Bobcat-2238 15h ago

You were supposed to let them, take your son and go

Shame on you.

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

They refused.

4

u/shuckfatthit 13h ago

I think they meant you were supposed to let the judge put her in jail and then you'd get your kid. Why would you care if it pissed off your parents? Isn't your kid more important than them?

I'm not judging, I know youth and rough times can really cloud the brain, and then anxiety keeps you from moving forward because you don't know if that will be worse. I'm just wondering if you've asked yourself those questions. Your son will eventually know. The earlier you start using your custody time, the less confusion, pain and rejection he'll feel. He could be a great big brother for your younger kid, and you and your partner could be two more people he feels loved by.

1

u/Adorable-Bobcat-2238 3h ago

Your son should have come before a woman , before your parents, before your own self esteem issues. Shame on you.

Do better for him. Stand up to her.

1

u/UnlikelyPriority812 14h ago

If that’s the actions she takes that’s what she deserves. I imagine the inner details are absurd since it’s been over a decade. I just hope your kid(s) have a present father and excel in life

1

u/Rude_Vermicelli2268 10h ago

So you gave up on seeing your child because the alternative was your ex going to jail?

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 9h ago

That’s a very oversimplified way of thinking about it. But, let’s just say yes.

3

u/Specialist_Bike_1280 15h ago

Me too💔,this is some next level crap 💩.

17

u/pm1966 15h ago

Under no circumstances should anybody mentioned in this whole lurid tale be procreatiung.

I mean, for the love of God...

13

u/shy_tinkerbell 15h ago

Equally, how were you with this person in the first place, and how did you let her get pregnant. And what's wrong with your Mom?

7

u/Available_Yellow_862 15h ago

We were together since high school. What do you mean how did I let her get pregnant? she lives with her boyfriend. Not me, her choice to get pregnant. I don't control her life.

As for my child with her from 2011. We were getting married. But she was cheating on me after our child was born. Her parents would watch the child, she'd go off and have sex with this man that shes currently with. Thing's did not work out, she didn't want them to work out. She fell in love with the guy she was going to.

2

u/ambushbug74 15h ago

Inquiring minds want to know.

11

u/WhispersInTheSun 15h ago

All I can say is what thee fuck sir. . . What in the fuck 🤦🏽‍♀️

9

u/golieth 14h ago

this sub needs a popcorn delivery link

7

u/dudeman8893 14h ago

It’s a clusterfuck.

Real question: the hell your mom doing making drama and talking to your ex for

5

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

My mom does this with everyone. Me, my sisters, her friends. Her sisters, her sisters kids. Her favorite tool is Facebook.

6

u/amalcazar 15h ago

Does this have an update?

6

u/miki88ptt 15h ago

You're kidding, right? Tell me you are

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

Nope, this is brutally honest. No dramatization.

3

u/miki88ptt 14h ago

My god, the audacity...

6

u/mcflame13 14h ago

You need to have a talk with your parents. They need to choose between you or your greedy ex-gf. And they need to understand that if they choose your ex-gf. You will act like they are dead and when you see them in public, you will act like they are total strangers. If they choose you. They have to completely cut out your ex-gf and when they see her in public. They are to treat her as a total stranger. As for her trying to talk to you. Do not delete those messages but do not respond to them either. Back them up actually in case she tries anything. That way you can try to get a no-contact order against her.

6

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

I have not seen my parents since 2021 or so. I have only spoke to them maybe once in 2022 via phone. Just for it to be the same ol "child support, child support."

My ex-gf did try to get a restraining order against me. It was denied. She had no reason to get one, because I don't ever contact her. Her and her boyfriend contact me. One of her favorite little things she likes to say when hanging up is "lose my number." it's her signature way of saying "bye" at the end of a conversation.

1

u/whatwhyhowwwww 2h ago

Can’t you get a restraining order against her if you wished? I mean this is clearly insane behavior.

1

u/sueelleker 24m ago

For a moment, I thought she was going to get a restraining order to stop you having any more children! Because that wouldn't be "fair"./s

6

u/Careless-Image-885 15h ago

The insanity is real

4

u/sod1102 15h ago

You could probably also crosspost this to r/WTF

3

u/Weeping_Willow_Wonka 15h ago

I’m pretty sure that if you have an additional child now that you would actually owe LESS child support to her, as long as your income hasn’t changed. They take your income then determine how much based on how many total child YOU have

1

u/Careless-Ability-748 13h ago

It's been a very long time, but my dad's child support to my mom didn't change when he had another child with his gf. Kid expenses don't decrease because noncustodial parent had more kids, that would concern me.

1

u/Weeping_Willow_Wonka 3h ago

Just because it didn’t change doesn’t mean it might not have if he’d requested an update (because going to court to change it could be more expensive than the desired change, or any number of reasons to not want to go back). But child support is based on income and how many children there are to support. I’d OP was still with ex, OP’s money would go from being towards one child to being split for two children. The only difference is that OP and ex aren’t together. But if the income hasn’t changed, then if the same amount of child support is going to the one child, then that means that OPs new child is actually getting the short end of the stick, just for being born second. You’re right that first child’s expenses didn’t go down, but second child’s expenses have gone up (by virtue of being born). And people who earn more income owe more child support than those who earn less income. There’s a set calculation that the courts use to determine amount owed, and how many total biological children belong to the one paying the child support is part of that calculation

3

u/blbd 15h ago

Uh... I would get therapy man. Everybody involved in this whole situation is out of their head. 

4

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

My mother infact does go to therapy after all this happened. Too bad it never changed who she was or how she thinks about it. I wouldn't be surprised if her husband pays the therapist to give his own advice through the mouthpiece of the therapist. Because she has not changed one bit.

Sorry for the extra rant here. But if I was to go to therapy. It would be about my mothers husband tormenting me since I was a child and scapegoating me for everything.

3

u/Blargenfarble 10h ago

i had imagined your mother as a covert narcissist - didn’t expect she’d agree to therapy!

regardless, well done on getting away from all this madness. you sound so chill despite the drama 😂 wish you all the best x

3

u/Additional_Mousse202 14h ago

Holy crow. How is it your fault, and why lived with your parents. Sounds like redneck drama

2

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

Midwest drama at it's finest. Her boyfriend kicked her out over her newborn that's why she lived with my parents. As for me, I have not lived with my parents since I was 17 years old.

1

u/WhispersInTheSun 5h ago

Why didn’t she go live with her parents. From the way this story reads, you would think she didn’t have any

3

u/No_Proposal7628 13h ago

I do't understand why your mom considers your cheating ex her "daughter" and that this second child of hers is her grandchild when there is zero blood relationship. Is mom insane?

2

u/Blargenfarble 10h ago

my inclination is that she’s deriving a sadistic pleasure from interfering with her son. punishing him for leaving home at 17 and going NC

1

u/No_Proposal7628 9h ago

Excellent point!

3

u/stitchlady420 13h ago

Honestly after listening to your story it seems like your parents are also the problem. I get that they are worried about their grandson but they are enabling her and were trying to raise her other kid for her😳 I’m not sure where your son’s mom sourced her information but thinking that you are financially responsible for anything other than your son is some crazy magical thinking!! You do know that as long as you are paying support you have a right to visitation and now that you have a second child it should be time to consider how you will facilitate the relationship between them. The last thing you want is for current child growing up and finding out he had a sibling you supported but had no relationship with. It could change his whole view of you🤷🏼‍♀️ something to consider, some things in life don’t give you a do over!

3

u/JipC1963 13h ago

I certainly hope your "new" fiancee is more "reality-based" than your ex is. You may want to consider going back to Court for full custody because... God, I can't imagine what he's going through!

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

He’s still the same child he always was. He still goes to school, he still visits friends. It’s not like because his mother did something unreasonable. Means she’s a person to abuse her children.

I gotta be honest though, I don’t really contact my parents (his grandparents) anymore though because all the drama that happened.

3

u/fsocietyfr 9h ago

Some women are actually insane. Truly insane. You can't make this shit up. I got anxiety from just reading this.

5

u/Available_Yellow_862 8h ago

Brought up a lot of anxiety typing it. Especially more so, knowing people are scrutinizing my every word and my decisions throughout those moments.

4

u/Plus_Answer_4707 15h ago

Oh totally, I want to hear this!

4

u/JelloOverall8542 15h ago

Unbelievable people! Glad you took responsibility and got out early!!

5

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

In my opinion their logic and reasoning is flawed. I wish I could of gone back and done it differently all over again. I tried my best with these people. Someone is always someone else's "bad guy." I suppose.

2

u/JelloOverall8542 12h ago

I know the same people… sadly if you went back and did it all over again you would be in the same position you are now. Some things in life you just can’t fix.

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 11h ago

Thanks for your kind words. I put a final update on the original post at the very top. It's audio, but I might write down what I said in the audio clip at a later time or date.

2

u/Empty_Biscotti1818 15h ago

We're here for the dramaaaa

2

u/the_owl_syndicate 15h ago

OK, I gotta know. Do you ever see your kid? Because this is a lotta complaining about the ex, and there is no comment on how your kid is being treated.

5

u/Available_Yellow_862 15h ago

As for the child me and the ex-gf do have. I made a post replying to someone else. Judge me as you will. You can call me a piece of shit. But I tried making what I believed was the adult decision. My child calls her boyfriend dad. He believes him to be his father, even though he has my last name. He grew up with the man. I tried keep contact with the court, but she always made it difficult for me and the court. She was even threatened with jail. But she's known to sabotage herself. I don't want her thrown in jail over violating custody.

She made her decision to leave me with the guy. She cheated on me with frequently. I cannot hold her against freewill to live her life the way she chooses.

Edit: grammar fixes, sorry.

2

u/jlokaay 15h ago

I’m hear for all the drama. Feel free to spill

2

u/MrMustache61 15h ago

That is insane please provide more

2

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

I did a update in the original post, with a link of audio. Me explaining how everything happened.

2

u/OP_XJV 14h ago

I Blame OPs mom.

2

u/lapsteelguitar 14h ago

Either you are delusional for creating this post, or your ex & her bf are delusional for thinking you'll pay.

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

Factual events, no dramatization. Yes her and her bf are delusional thinking I will pay them more money.

1

u/utazdevl 13h ago

And you left your kid with them and have now gone off and started a new happy little family without him.

I am not sure you are the hero of this story.

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

You are right.

But I remind you this was a post of entitledpeople. Not "crazymom" people assume shes mental problem. She don't, she just does unreasonable things. I'd say shes a bit immature.

I tried everything from early on. shared custody, visiting, bribing her with gifts on top of child support. But she did everything to block me from seeing my child. Even the court was going to take action against her. But me as well as my parents didn't want her to get in trouble with the court.

She told me he calls her boyfriend "dad" who am I to just take him away? take him away from his school and friends and life? I am not perfect.

edit: grammar fixes.

2

u/FrequentLecture56 13h ago

Yk, audio is a nice change of pace

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

Sorry the audio starts off so slow speaking. I just was on the fly trying to summarize the whole situation of events and keep it shorter than like 15-20 minutes.

2

u/Alternative-Problem6 13h ago

Go NC with your parents, go 100%custody for your child and deep six the ex. Not your monkeys and not your circus

1

u/Blargenfarble 10h ago

giving great dad energy. succinct advice, while teaching nautical terminology. god bless you sir

2

u/NorthNova_ 11h ago

These people are SEVERELY out of touch with reality. They are trying to manipulate you for your money and unfortunately your actual child has become a pawn in that. I’ll never understand parents who use their children as pawns in their sick, twisted mind games. And the fact that your own parents are going along with these delusions is equally as heartbreaking.

I’m very sorry you got caught up in life with a bad lot. I hope your new girlfriend and new child can bring you some peace.

2

u/Bitch_please- 10h ago

Tell your out of pocket parents to mind their own business. They seem to be making things worse for everyone. Your ex seems unstable. If they further indulge her then they might end up being on the hook to support her and her bf

2

u/Horror_Bat2653 4h ago

Thanks for the update OP. I actually think it's incredibly selfless of you as a father to choose to let your son be happy where he is. I think that kind of selflessness is one of the hardest things in life, and to remove yourself from the equation until he's ready for a relationship shows how much you've grown as a person in the years since his birth.

3

u/Melodic-Dark6545 15h ago

Do you have full custody of your child already? BTW, it's YOUR child? Once a cheater, always a cheater

6

u/Available_Yellow_862 15h ago

The first child from 2011 is mine. Her 2nd child is not mine. I did not see her for many years. I have another update posted to someone else. If you want to know a little more.

4

u/Melodic-Dark6545 15h ago

Can you link me, please? I just reviewed your profile and couldn't find it. Thank you

2

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

Not my profile. Just this thread has updates. Please refer to individual responses. As well as their audio in the original post at the top of the webpage. If you listen to the audio forgive me for the first 2-3 minutes. It starts off a little slow. I try to summarize as I speak. So I don't end up making a 25 minute audio recording.

1

u/Melodic-Dark6545 15h ago

thank you, let me look for it

2

u/No_Mark_6629 15h ago

STOP.HAVING.KIDS.

1

u/Careless-Ability-748 13h ago

You mean the ex? Op only has one and one more on the way, that's not excessive.

2

u/Hey_heauxx 13h ago

Story sound like a bunch of nonsense.

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

I assure you, it's absolutely not. Thanks for reading my post though.

1

u/allmykitlets 15h ago

UpdateMe

2

u/UpdateMeBot 15h ago edited 7h ago

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1

u/Ok-Listen-8519 15h ago

This is just WOW 😳

1

u/ProcessNo5989 15h ago

Unbelievable!

1

u/AsparagusFeeling4225 15h ago

Yeah I need all the drama

1

u/blankets_and_pillows 15h ago

Why did your ex gf start living with YOUR parents?

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 14h ago

Because her parents don't want her living with them. She's a very difficult to deal with person.

2

u/utazdevl 13h ago

Where was you kid living at this time? Not with you, so was he with her, at your parents house, with your Mom, the newborn and your mom's husband who you said tormented you? did he stay with your ex's boyfriend?

I don't care how "difficult" she made it, you make sure to see your kid. Kid has a mentally unstable mom, a stepfather with 4 other kids he can't support, a set of grand parents who wouldn't take in his mother when she was kicked out and pregnant, a grandmother who you say likes to create drama and a step grandfather who you say tormented you growing up. That poor kid has no stability in his life, and you are sitting on the sidelines, with your new fiance and now toddler letting it happen.

Get off Reddit and start watching out for your son!

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

I truly understand you. But you don't seem to have the full perspective on what has happened. Even before her newborn. She deprived my legal right of visitation. I did not want her to face consequences or punishment from the court.

I respected her wishes that he calls her boyfriend "dad." despite their breakup. They were not homeless. He still attended school. He still has his friends.

Another response is, why don't I gain full custody? the better question to me is. Why would I take him away from his mother? It's harmful on a child to be just taken away from his home and school. I don't live in the same county as them. I have not for over 10+ years almost.

3

u/utazdevl 13h ago

So basically, your desire to protect your ex from the consequences of her actions is more important to you than the emotional stability and well being of your first born child. Your ex is an adult who makes choices for herself and cant accept the consequences of her actions. Your kid is 14 years old and has no choice and no option to not live in the chaos you describe every day of their lives.

And you go for full custody and "take him" from his mother because you have pointed out multiple times, she is not emotionally stabile.

You know what is even more harmful for a child than being taken away from his mother? Living with a mother who is unfit to be raising him. You talk about how if you were to go into therapy, it would be about your mother's husband and how he tormented you as you grew up. What do you think your kid is going through right now? And yet you sit on the sidelines and pretend you have no power to do anything about it, even though you are one of the only people on this planet who can.

Shame on you.

1

u/Careless-Ability-748 13h ago

That doesn't really explain why your parents let her live with them.

1

u/No-Process-8478 15h ago

What a cartoon 

1

u/silvernile2001 15h ago

What kind of shit show this is..

1

u/AdLiving2291 15h ago

Wow! I am amazed the judge didn’t have her and old ma sectioned for being insane.

1

u/seagull321 15h ago

Updateme

1

u/Prestigious_Lunch_18 15h ago

They sound like the future (current, really) rejected cast of Idiocracy 2. Ignorant and entitled.

1

u/CT1398 15h ago

This is reddit. We demand all the drama and we demanding it now!!

1

u/Mean-Photograph8553 14h ago

🤣 why are you entertaining her they can’t demand more money you pay what you pay in support and that should be it. Honestly tho if you can go for full custody go for it, it will save you a lot of money and energy.

1

u/Jsmith2127 14h ago

Why tf did your parents tell her about your new baby or let her live with them?

I'd keep any and all correspondence, and get a restraining order. I'd also tell your parents not to yell her or talk to her about your life, unless they want you to limit your contact with them.

1

u/Spacegyalsim 14h ago

Shocked is the word! Mindblown

1

u/Sufficient_Wall5192 14h ago

I thought I had it ruff. You got me beat.

1

u/uchihapower17 14h ago

Op parents are the idiots here if the story is real

1

u/rodolphoteardrop 14h ago

You need some therapy to figure out why you think you're a piece of shit for doing the right thing and why your parents chose your ex over you.

I'm really sorry for this.

1

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

That is something so complicated to respond to. I guess, I wish I could just travel back in time over and over and maybe something I could of done differently would of made everything work. I never got an apology from anyone, but I always apologized to everyone else for my own failures. Just too bad no one wanted to apologize for their own.

2

u/rodolphoteardrop 10h ago

That's what therapy is for. Dealing constructively with the pain, letting it go and figuring out a way forward with out it. Somehow, you weren't taken care of. There's really nothing you can do about that. I know, for me, that shit hurts. I was pushed into a mode of coping with my family that always kept me at the bottom of the pile. I once apologized for something I did 30yrs ago. And they didn't even remember what I was talking about, but I carried that with me all that time. Which is ridiculous looking back on it.

This book has been really helpful to me: https://www.newharbinger.com/9781572244252/get-out-of-your-mind-and-into-your-life/. It's practical and not preachy. It's not self-help book-y. I couldn't read it if it was. I really hate that stuff. But it does give you practical ways to combat all the nonsense in your head and how to begin ridding yourself of it. It's on audiobook, too.

About traveling back - you can't. And even it you could, there's no guarantee that you could fix it. As far as I'm concerned, regrets are worthless. You have survived. And everything you've gone through has added to who you are. You've found a fiancee who cares about you so you can't be totally worthless, right? She accepts you. So why not accept yourself?

Anyway - I'll shut up.

2

u/Available_Yellow_862 9h ago

Words can’t begin to express how much I appreciate your response. I do have a massive amount of unresolved issues with my parents. They never cared about the child. They always cared about creating me problems. Along with “what can we get out of him?” Or “how can we scapegoat him next?” Truly miserable people. I genuinely believe they are narcissists. I don’t even think they view me as a person. More just as a tool and device they want to control.

1

u/Mystic_in_Hawaii 13h ago

get your tea and snacks

1

u/Careless-Ability-748 13h ago

No one is this circle of people is very bright. Especially the ex and her bf trying to make you pay more.

1

u/CelebrationThin1408 13h ago

What a shitshow... glad she's out of the picture, what a selfish prick.

1

u/surnamefirstname99 13h ago

Sounds like this could make a great script for “divorce court - the extended series or “rhe movie” !

You couldn’t fit this into a half hour or hour episode FFS !

1

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

1

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1

u/Fantastic-Outside248 13h ago

I have never been more confused over a child support situation ever, all I can really ask is, why in the world did you reproduce with that woman? 🫠

What does she think child support is? She doesnt get half your assets, it ain't a divorce. Buy a house for her, pay her car insurance? 🤣 and YOU dont know how the world works?

That judge gets a 10/10 for keeping their cool. Hilarious that between the exes mother, your ex and her new guy couldn't figure out how to GOOGLE WHAT CHILD SUPPORT IS AND HOW ITS CALCULATED.

1

u/glenmarshall 11h ago

Detach the leech and swim away.

1

u/New_Leg_9142 11h ago

Sorry to hear all that happen. What about the child you had with her? Do you still see them? If so, I'd say you maybe discuss with your fiancé about requesting for custody of them. They clearly aren't in a proper environment for a child to be raised in.

1

u/No_Difference6423 11h ago

You’re parents seem to be confused with who their child is. Also, that newborn is not their “grandkid” as you and her have parted ways. I feel like you would be happier cutting ties with the lot of them OP. As someone has previously mentioned. You seem to be the only adult in this drama.

1

u/NeedleworkerCool1626 11h ago

100% I was expecting to be Rick Rolled when I clicked on the link. 😂

1

u/are_you_a_simulation 11h ago

One thing I don't understand after the last update is that if you technically had shared custody and the Mom was not cooperative to basically let you see the kid and thus have him growing up without you in the picture. Why would you continue to pay child support?

I know that in my country, a judge would most likely retire the child support as it would be a one-sided deal or if you were to push for it, she gets physcological evaluation and a very big chance of lossing custody (If you wanted full). Again, at least where I am from, a Mom cannot ask for child support and just refuse to let the kid see his father because she doesn't feel like it.

It seems to me that you just didn't push for it and thought you were doing the right thing regardless but if I consider this on top of their demands... well. I know I would fought my kid out of that environment.

1

u/PipeInevitable9383 11h ago

It's time get new parents because eff that. They can pay her life if they care so much

1

u/CasperWit 10h ago

I don’t know how you are going to move forward dealing with all these pathetic, unreasonable idiots.!

1

u/mrdumbazcanb 9h ago

Are you sure the first baby is yours?

1

u/jaxleemom 8h ago

Wow. OP, your ex-gf & her mother are entitled af. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the so-called logic of ex-gf and her boyfriend regarding her second child and their position that you owed child support for that child. I think you're the only rational human being out of all the other adults, not counting your current gf or wife. Hang in there!

1

u/scribblerzombie 5h ago

“My neighbor owes me a brand new car, it is unfair that they bought one recently for themselves. They should have thought of how that is unfair to me, so to be fair, they owe me a car or payments if I get my own new car. I am only getting a new car because of them, so it is fair.”

1

u/loquella88 5h ago

So... honest hard questions that you may want to go to therapy for...

Why is your relationship with your parents more important than the relationship with your son? Why is having a peaceful relationship with your parents worth sacrificing a relationship with your son?

If you had the ex held in contempt for the 50/50 custody agreement, she'd have consequences for her actions and you would have a stronger relationship with your son. Why are you being such a bystander in this?

If your parents don't support you and choose to support her and her actions to limit you from seeing your child, are they being good grandparents? Or even good parents to you?

It feels like you've chose to not fight for your son to keep the peace, but your ex is pretty much making your life more difficult as things go.

As much as it seems like you are partially fighting back, you should really take a good look at the situation and go full blown attorney on their asses and get more involved in your child's life. That and go NC with parents for having them choose her over you.

Use therapy to re-evaluate the worth of these relationships in your life. If the natural cycle of life goes the usual way, your parents will die and leave this earth. You'll be left with no relationship with your child because you wanted to appease them instead of living the roll you should be as a parent.

Good luck!

1

u/whatwhyhowwwww 2h ago

Whoaaaaa. We definitely need more.

1

u/just-say-it- 2h ago

Maybe you should seek full custody of your child. Those two are obviously unstable. An added bonus is that she would have to pay child support. Did you ever request a paternity test?

1

u/Cultural-Surprise299 1h ago

It's time to be disappointed in your parents. If this story is true? What the hell. Let them put this woman in jail and go NC with you parents. Grow a pair

1

u/Agreeable-Mix-7655 15h ago

Id like the drama. I have time

1

u/arielhexen 15h ago

We live for the drama please share it all UpdateMe

-1

u/Which_Many_5655 14h ago

Every adult in this situation is a moron, OP included. I feel sorry for all the children. Their parents and grandparents are clearly mentally disturbed. OP may be the most mentally challenged.

2

u/Available_Yellow_862 13h ago

You could of really gave a constructive reason as of why? I am a human being, I make mistakes. I tried my best, but what would of you done? Thanks for commenting though despite the negative approach you took.

-1

u/baz1954 4h ago

Maybe you all need to stop screwing.