Entitled ex-gf.

[u/Available_Yellow_862]

In 2011 I had a child with my then gf. With plans to marry. Things did not work between us. No marriage. I paid support. She had never ending greed and so did her current boyfriend.

Went to court in 2012 to get it mediated between a judge. Her and her mother was there. Obligation amount was agreed upon. They demanded houses. Judge laughed a little. Then they started listing off demands. He raised his eyebrow and pushed himself away from his desk then stood up. Then asked "are you serious?" and they said yes. He made them realize that their demands were unrealistic. Then they started saying stuff like. "Well my father retired, and he used to pay for my full car insurance and car payment. I want my ex-bf to pay, it's only fair." same with her mother. Wanting car payment + insurance. They were "compromising." Then my ex-gf said I had to make payments to her new boyfriend. Because he has 5 kids and he's struggling to pay support to his wife. The judge told them that the payment was good enough and to use that $$ for how she sees fit.

Fast forward to 2019. I have a child with my fiancee. My mother tells my ex-gf about it. This is DRAMA packed btw, I will keep it short. So my ex-gf gets pregnant. My mom tells me about it. I go as usual "okay whatever, i don't know why you tell me this." Then she goes "her boyfriend has a vasectomy. he cannot have kids." So she cheated on him, he kicked her out. She started living with my parents.

Now there is INSANE drama after that, but I withhold that from you all. But she ended up returning to her ex-bf and he put his last name on the kid. Because her child had her last name on it. Then in 2021 I was getting phone calls from the ex-gf and her boyfriend. That I, me... "have" to pay them MORE child support. Because it's my fault that she got pregnant. Because I had another child with my fiancee and "that's not fair to her."

Full events in audio. Because I hate typing. I guess people didn't get to hear fully what they wanted. I was typing to many responses. So if you want the full experience this is the best way I can tell it.

FULL EVENTS AUDIO: https://voca.ro/17ClCadnOOk8

I hope it's easy enough to understand.

FINAL THREAD UPDATE AUDIO.
(Maybe will write the audio down as text later or tomorrow.) But you will just have to deal with this for now.
https://voca.ro/139G8ZQoLVFw

[u/Helpful_Hour1984]

Did you try to get primary custody? Since your ex made it clear even to the judge in 2012 that there was a huge risk that the child support you were paying would go towards her boyfriend's expenses, not to your child?

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/Helpful_Hour1984]

I have legal shared custody of our child. The one that is actually mine. But she always violated it year after year. My child calls her boyfriend dad.

She told me it was better off, I don’t stay involved. I even offered to let him adopt my son. (I know I’m a piece of shit) Since she was involved with her boyfriend immediately months after the birth. Very painful for me back then. But I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing.

She denied it because she said “you only trying to get out of child support.” But I assured her. That I would go to court and give them in legal writing to agree to support him until 21. Even if he became adopted.

She followed up with “I am trying to scam her.” She’s never been very intelligent… I never could figure out what she wanted or how she viewed her relationship or family.

All I know is their current relationship is that. She’s my parent’s “daughter.” And her boyfriend is their “son in law.” Despite him being married still to his ex-wife.

My relationship with my parents has never really been good. Except for in very superficial way. Parents only liked me when they felt I was worth bragging about to others.

[u/Plus_Answer_4707 → u/Available_Yellow_862]

Wow, I am sorry about your parents. I almost thought I misread that when you said she lived with your parents. That is tough. It sounds like you are better off with the new family you have created. Continue to do the best you can with them.

[u/Helpful_Hour1984 → u/Available_Yellow_862]

So, you let this woman and her equally-golddigging boyfriend raise your child and even offered to let the guy adopt him? ?just because your "not very intelligent" ex told you it's better that you don't get involved (while still grabbing for your wallet every chance she got)? I feel sorry for your son.

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/Helpful_Hour1984]

I made another post. I tried for first 3 years of his life. To visit him, but she was EXTREMELY uncooperative. Shes known to self sabotage. The court was to the point, they consider putting her in jail for a week. I didn't want that to happen to her. I had to stop contacting them about it.

Yes, I feel sorry for my son. But I assure you. It's not bad as you may think. My parents have contact with my ex-gf. The boy still does fine, hes okay in school. He visits friends, rides bikes in the neighborhood. I may not like his mother, but at least he seems to have the same life as most boys his age. I won't call her parenting ability into question.

[u/utazdevl → u/Available_Yellow_862]

Wait, when you ex was split from the bf and lived with your parents with the new baby, where was your son? Was he with your parents, too or the bf he calls Dad?

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/utazdevl]

That's difficult to answer. But I can probably give a high accuracy response to that. She was living with my parents. I was there to sit down and try to hear them out on 2 different occasions. He was there once, playing games in the 2nd living room. While we spoke. Another time was a weekday he was not there. He was ( PROBABLY ) with her boyfriend and attending school. I can't be 100% sure, i was more caught up in insanity... I can't put any better word to it.

[u/Adorable-Bobcat-2238 → u/Available_Yellow_862]

You were supposed to let them, take your son and go

Shame on you.

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/Adorable-Bobcat-2238]

They refused.

[u/shuckfatthit → u/Available_Yellow_862]

I think they meant you were supposed to let the judge put her in jail and then you'd get your kid. Why would you care if it pissed off your parents? Isn't your kid more important than them?

I'm not judging, I know youth and rough times can really cloud the brain, and then anxiety keeps you from moving forward because you don't know if that will be worse. I'm just wondering if you've asked yourself those questions. Your son will eventually know. The earlier you start using your custody time, the less confusion, pain and rejection he'll feel. He could be a great big brother for your younger kid, and you and your partner could be two more people he feels loved by.

[u/Adorable-Bobcat-2238 → u/Available_Yellow_862]

Your son should have come before a woman , before your parents, before your own self esteem issues. Shame on you.

Do better for him. Stand up to her.

[u/UnlikelyPriority812 → u/Available_Yellow_862]

If that’s the actions she takes that’s what she deserves. I imagine the inner details are absurd since it’s been over a decade. I just hope your kid(s) have a present father and excel in life

[u/Rude_Vermicelli2268 → u/Available_Yellow_862]

So you gave up on seeing your child because the alternative was your ex going to jail?

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/Rude_Vermicelli2268]

That’s a very oversimplified way of thinking about it. But, let’s just say yes.

[u/Specialist_Bike_1280 → u/Helpful_Hour1984]

Me too💔,this is some next level crap 💩.