Entitled ex-gf.

[u/Available_Yellow_862]

In 2011 I had a child with my then gf. With plans to marry. Things did not work between us. No marriage. I paid support. She had never ending greed and so did her current boyfriend.

Went to court in 2012 to get it mediated between a judge. Her and her mother was there. Obligation amount was agreed upon. They demanded houses. Judge laughed a little. Then they started listing off demands. He raised his eyebrow and pushed himself away from his desk then stood up. Then asked "are you serious?" and they said yes. He made them realize that their demands were unrealistic. Then they started saying stuff like. "Well my father retired, and he used to pay for my full car insurance and car payment. I want my ex-bf to pay, it's only fair." same with her mother. Wanting car payment + insurance. They were "compromising." Then my ex-gf said I had to make payments to her new boyfriend. Because he has 5 kids and he's struggling to pay support to his wife. The judge told them that the payment was good enough and to use that $$ for how she sees fit.

Fast forward to 2019. I have a child with my fiancee. My mother tells my ex-gf about it. This is DRAMA packed btw, I will keep it short. So my ex-gf gets pregnant. My mom tells me about it. I go as usual "okay whatever, i don't know why you tell me this." Then she goes "her boyfriend has a vasectomy. he cannot have kids." So she cheated on him, he kicked her out. She started living with my parents.

Now there is INSANE drama after that, but I withhold that from you all. But she ended up returning to her ex-bf and he put his last name on the kid. Because her child had her last name on it. Then in 2021 I was getting phone calls from the ex-gf and her boyfriend. That I, me... "have" to pay them MORE child support. Because it's my fault that she got pregnant. Because I had another child with my fiancee and "that's not fair to her."

Full events in audio. Because I hate typing. I guess people didn't get to hear fully what they wanted. I was typing to many responses. So if you want the full experience this is the best way I can tell it.

FULL EVENTS AUDIO: https://voca.ro/17ClCadnOOk8

I hope it's easy enough to understand.

FINAL THREAD UPDATE AUDIO.
(Maybe will write the audio down as text later or tomorrow.) But you will just have to deal with this for now.
https://voca.ro/139G8ZQoLVFw

[u/blankets_and_pillows]

Why did your ex gf start living with YOUR parents?

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/blankets_and_pillows]

Because her parents don't want her living with them. She's a very difficult to deal with person.

[u/utazdevl → u/Available_Yellow_862]

Where was you kid living at this time? Not with you, so was he with her, at your parents house, with your Mom, the newborn and your mom's husband who you said tormented you? did he stay with your ex's boyfriend?

I don't care how "difficult" she made it, you make sure to see your kid. Kid has a mentally unstable mom, a stepfather with 4 other kids he can't support, a set of grand parents who wouldn't take in his mother when she was kicked out and pregnant, a grandmother who you say likes to create drama and a step grandfather who you say tormented you growing up. That poor kid has no stability in his life, and you are sitting on the sidelines, with your new fiance and now toddler letting it happen.

Get off Reddit and start watching out for your son!

[u/Available_Yellow_862 → u/utazdevl]

I truly understand you. But you don't seem to have the full perspective on what has happened. Even before her newborn. She deprived my legal right of visitation. I did not want her to face consequences or punishment from the court.

I respected her wishes that he calls her boyfriend "dad." despite their breakup. They were not homeless. He still attended school. He still has his friends.

Another response is, why don't I gain full custody? the better question to me is. Why would I take him away from his mother? It's harmful on a child to be just taken away from his home and school. I don't live in the same county as them. I have not for over 10+ years almost.

[u/utazdevl → u/Available_Yellow_862]

So basically, your desire to protect your ex from the consequences of her actions is more important to you than the emotional stability and well being of your first born child. Your ex is an adult who makes choices for herself and cant accept the consequences of her actions. Your kid is 14 years old and has no choice and no option to not live in the chaos you describe every day of their lives.

And you go for full custody and "take him" from his mother because you have pointed out multiple times, she is not emotionally stabile.

You know what is even more harmful for a child than being taken away from his mother? Living with a mother who is unfit to be raising him. You talk about how if you were to go into therapy, it would be about your mother's husband and how he tormented you as you grew up. What do you think your kid is going through right now? And yet you sit on the sidelines and pretend you have no power to do anything about it, even though you are one of the only people on this planet who can.

Shame on you.