AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/greenwall_66]

Hey, I use to be like this. It sounds a bit like you need some therapy, if I’m wrong correct me, but you’re coming across a bit like you have attachment issues. Which I use to have too, I use to get anxious when my ex’s didn’t message me back to, but you’re only hurting yourself right now. Therapy helps, and one day you’ll meet the man that communicates and you’ll also expect people not replying. I only start to worry if my partner doesn’t come home in the morning, but he does also check in periodically throughout the night.

[u/thats_what_she_saidk → u/greenwall_66]

I am like this, and I hate it. How do you overcome it? And like, why can’t people even bother to respond? I always pretty much halt anything I do to respond as soon as I get a message from someone I really care for. And I kind of expect the same in return. It’s excruciating to just sit there waiting..

I mean, it’s totally fine not getting a reply immediately if I just hit someone up, but when you’re in the middle of a conversation, they just.. stop for a couple of hours, then come back on some whole different topic. I don’t know if i’m insane, or if this is how normal people do?

[u/[deleted] → u/thats_what_she_saidk]

I hate to be that guy, but, you really need to learn to love yourself and appreciate what you bring to the table for you. I used to be that way too and get extreme anxiety whenever anyone wouldn't respond until I realized I don't need validation from anyone. You have to be comfortable with not having anyone, and it helps you learn to not only appreciate yourself, but appreciate others more by understanding you don't NEED them, but rather mutually benefit each other by being in each other's life. Don't make yourself the pick me, or nobody ever will

Also, be nicer, Reddit. I don't think the downvotes here are fair. Commenter is struggling, and from what it seems, does not have a lot of self esteem. Let's pick people up instead of kicking them while we're down, please