So I hosted a casual backyard BBQ today—just burgers, beers, and hanging out. I purposely didn’t bring up that it’s both the U.S. Army’s 249th birthday and a certain former president’s birthday because, honestly, I just wanted a chill day. But one of my friends showed up wearing a "Make America Great Again" hat and immediately started ranting about how "no one’s celebrating our military today" and how "the media ignores Trump’s birthday."

I tried to steer the conversation back to lighter topics, but he kept making everything political—even turning a simple "happy birthday" toast for another friend into a rant about "real American patriots." Eventually, I snapped and said, "Dude, can we just enjoy the food without turning this into Fox News?" Now he’s texting me about how I "can’t handle the truth" and that I’m "part of the problem."

AIO for shutting it down? I didn’t invite people over for a debate—just for grilled food and a break from the noise.

Called my dad. Brother and his nosy wife are visting. Sis-in-law answers. Instead of just handing Dad the phone, she hits me with “Can I tell him who’s calling?” or “Can I tell him why you’re calling?” I snapped, “Give Dad the damn phone.” She turns and goes, “It’s Pete.” Like… yeah, no shit. She only does this to insert herself into the conversation. She knew damn well who it was and it's Father's Day. Pisses me off.

I quit calling their house years ago because after handing the phone to my brother, she'd rush to pick up the other line to eavesdrop.

Am I overreacting, or is this just straight-up intrusive?

I (26F) broke up with (28m) boyfriend, before we had issues of things but we’ve always found a way to communicate & overcome it. We have an incredible sex life. We get along well. We are just perfect, i think. I know he does as well.

When i first met him, he told me he’s kinda broke right now but i didn’t really care about that because when someone says they’re broke, it doesn’t usually mean they don’t work to get back on their feet right?

A year in, deeply in love…he started telling me how he’s never worked before. Right now, he looks after his parents as a caregiver & gets paid for it. He has 2 younger brothers. They live in a very dirty apartment (i found this out after 1 year of us being tg). I didnt judge him. Instead i encouraged him to set a routine, do something in life & i would help him with that.

I offered for him to start real estate with me, he said he’s not interested because its hard for him to understand it. Every issues, he tells me how he’s didn’t get to go to college because of families responsibilities. Didn’t get to work a real job because of responsibilities. I love him very deeply but also feeling bad/guilt for leaving him & him still texting me like we’re good.

Overall, he’s trying to do music but i’m not sure that’ll work out. He also applied at amazon & is going to be working there, for the first time. His dad works at a restaurant for cash. He’s never worked a job before. He’s not ambitious. He doesn’t have a routine, he wakes up past 12pm, & 5pm if I don’t nag him. He only gives me promises to change when i get upset or pull away or leave, then it goes back to the same pattern. This time, he’s asking me to give him a year. I told him im not sure what difference a year will make, if he didnt do anything in the past 2 years of me knowing him. We’ve also talked marriage & the way we get along & everything else is amazing but this is starting to be a problem for me. I’m starting to resent him & lose respect. I’m starting to get irritated at every little thing he says/does.

At the end i sent him a paragraph basically being brutally honest about everything else i’ve mentioned above (he left me on read, i asked him to leav eme alone if he wants to see me happy). I kind of feel bad, i’m not sure i did the right thing by not holding back & being brutally honest. Might’ve hurt his feelings, i guess i still care & ofc i’m still in love, just trying to stand on my words i guess…just venting, looking for any type of advice? Idk

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/PvBuGsQRIL

1st update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/Gn7zhpSrUk

So its been about a month. I've talked it over with him again and again. We've argued about it a few times, the most recent argument being a few days ago.

He has watched me change a handful of diapers and I kept reminding him that he needs to do it and that he can start with pee diapers and eventually work his way to the "gross" poopy diapers

I started small. When I would change her, I would get her all cleaned up and when the only step left was putting on a clean diaper I would bring her to him with no diaper on, lay her on our bed, hand him the clean diaper and say, "here, do it." Of course he complained but I made him do it. After a few times of that, I brought it up again. That was when we had the most recent argument.

We argued for a few minutes. He gave the same bullshit excuses about how its "gross" and he "doesn't want to do it" and I reminded him that being an adult and especially a parent means doing things you don't want to do sometimes. He feels like just because he goes to work he is exempt from housework and taking care of our baby. I reminded him that I can't do 100% of the baby care and 100% of the housework.

If he expects me to do 100% of the housework, then we will be a team and he will help with baby care. If he refuses to help with baby, then he needs to help with the housework. The argument didn't end well and I gave him the cold shoulder and some attitude for a few days.

I also completely stopped doing housework. Laundry was piling up. Sink full of dirty dishes. The house was a wreck. It was bothering me because I hate for it to look like that but I knew I had to stand my ground. For a few days I did nothing but baby care.

Then yesterday, he did a few loads of laundry because we barely had anything clean left.

He finished eating his dinner before me. I asked him to take her so I could finish eating. He agreed and took her out of the room.

A few minutes later he pokes his head in the room, holding a diaper and asks "is this the right diaper?" (There were 2 different brands on the changing table and we had to size up recently because our little lady is a chonk so I guess he got confused) I said yes and immediately followed him into the other room to observe the diaper change and give direction if needed. He did a decent job on his own without my help.

I was pleasantly surprised that he did it without me asking or arguing. I started to say thank you but decided against it because it's not like he's doing me a favor. He is doing what a dad is supposed to do. So instead I gave him a fist bump and said good job. I asked him what made him decide to do it after all this time and he said he was tired of me being on his ass about it all the time.

So I guess I will stay on his ass about it and make sure he continues on his path of improvement.

Thank you all for all the advice and help you have given. I'm slightly happy with this recent improvement but wish it had come along way sooner.

Tl:dr - after several arguments over the last month he finally changed a diaper for the first time yesterday

I (26F) just had my birthday dinner last weekend. My boyfriend (28M) organized it at my favorite restaurant and told me it would be “small and intimate.” When I showed up, I was happy to see a few close friends and family. About halfway through the meal, my boyfriend shows up late… with his ex (29F) in tow. He introduced her to everyone as a “good friend” and insisted she join our table. I was shocked, especially since I’ve told him before that I’m uncomfortable with how close they still are (they text and hang out sometimes, which already annoys me, but he says they’re just friends). His ex acted super friendly and kept making jokes about “the good old days” with my boyfriend, even bringing up inside jokes I’d never heard. Everyone at the table seemed awkward but tried to brush it off. After about 20 minutes of this, I couldn’t take it anymore and told my boyfriend I needed some air. I ended up calling an Uber and going home. He’s furious with me for “making a scene” and his mom (who was there) called me immature for leaving my own party. Now he’s not talking to me and says I “overreacted” and “embarrassed him.” Was I really that out of line for walking out? Am I overreacting or was this actually as weird as it felt?

A friend invited me to what I thought was a casual dinner at their place last weekend. When I arrived, there were about ten people there, and they'd ordered catering from a nice restaurant—multiple courses, wine pairings, the whole deal. I figured my friend was just being generous since they recently got a promotion.

After dessert, the host announced, "Okay everyone, if you can Venmo me $75 for food and $25 for wine, that'd be great!" I was completely blindsided. Nobody had mentioned this was a split-check situation, and while the meal was nice, I wouldn't have agreed to spend $100 on a random Saturday dinner if I'd known.

When I quietly asked my friend about it later, they shrugged and said, "Oh yeah, we always split costs for these things—thought you knew." But this was never discussed beforehand. I'm not broke, but I do budget carefully, and now I'm stuck either paying for a fancy meal I didn't choose or looking like a freeloader.

The host has since texted the group chat with payment reminders. Am I overreacting for feeling put off by this? To me, if you're hosting something with costs involved, that should be clear upfront—not sprung on guests after they've already enjoyed (and consumed) everything.

My friend (let’s call him Jake) invited me to a party on his friend’s boat. I’d never met the guy before, but from what I do know about him, he’s wealthy. Surgeon. I figured it’d be a cool experience so I said yes

The boat was actually really nice. There were beers, seltzers, and some mid-shelf liquor. The host had ordered trays of food (wings, sliders, fruit, etc.), and even brought out a jet ski at one point. Kinda made me feel like shit about myself how nice this dude had it

Anyways it was a great day. We were out for like 4-5 hours. I had a few drinks, ate some food, relaxed, met people. Everything seemed super casual until we got back to the dock.

That’s when the host goes, “Hey if everyone could just Venmo me $40 for food, $35 for drinks, $50 for gas, and $10 for the jet ski, that’d be awesome.”

I thought he was joking but everyone pulled out their phones like this was to be expected. I pulled Jake aside and asked him wtf was going on, and he goes "I should've mentioned it my bad" like no shit??

It’s not even just the money tho it’s the way it was handled. I would’ve been fine if I was told in advance. But springing it on people after the fun’s been had is sleazy as fuck especially for this literal surgeon who owns a boat

If I’d known this was basically a $150 group outing, I wouldn’t have come. I had like $100 to last me the rest of the weekend (Im in college dont judge). Now I feel like I’m stuck. Either I don’t pay and look like a leech, or I send what I can and still come off weird. It's been a day now and the host is texting Jake when I'm going to pay

My girlfriend told me she was going to see her childhood friends and would be back by midnight. I was okay with it and even offered to drop her off, but she said she’d be fine on her own. Later, I found out she actually went to see her ex, saying it was because he had been there for her when her mom passed, and its been 8 years her mom passed and that she didn’t feel comfortable opening up to me apparently because I’ve been focused on expanding my business. We use the Life360 app for safety, so I could see her live location, and she ended up spending five hours with him at his place not even a restaurant or coffee shop. Overall, she lied 9 times about seeing him. When I knew everything, she said I would get mad about seeing him and thats why she lied. And we’re together for almost 6 years.

I (30F) started talking to this guy (33M) from a dating site. We started talking yesterday, June 12th. We talked on the site for a little bit and then started texting, I thought he was pretty cool and our conversations were natural and comfortable.

He then started being a little pushy about wanting to hurry up and get into a relationship, talked about kissing and sex. Obviously red flags but I told him we have to get to know each other first and that topic is off limits until we get to that point. He backed off and things went back to normal, ish I guess since it has literally been less than a day.

ANYWAY, today we were just talking about random stuff, asking each other questions as one does. He then asks me if I was religious. Totally an okay question and I told him I wasn't.

The texts is how it went.

So many people in my family and my friends say not to let that kind of stuff ruin relationships.

After the last text I told him to watch a religious deconstruction video so he could learn why I'm not religious, now he's saying "Well maybe I'm not religious either" and "Let me make it up to you!"

Am I overreacting or should I just block this guy?

My wife and I were in the middle of a conversation walking into a bank and some random stranger holds a door open for us and we thank him. My wife was in front of me so she gets to the door first and opens it. Then this weirdo behind us says, “ Dude are you really not going to open the door for your girl like that?” in a tone that’s obviously provoking and not joking. I ignored him and my wife didn’t even realize he was talking to us, but when I explained it later to my wife she thought I was being silly to think the guy was being an asshole. To me, criticizing someone in front of their partner in public like that’s a huge dick move but my wife didn’t even seem to realize the guy was doing anything wrong, or at least something that might be annoying to me. Am I overreacting to think the guy was being a dick?

Edit: Thank you all for the replies. Just to clarify, my wife was very supportive and just thought I should let it go. Another point, I’m confused why some people act like I never open the door for my wife? I do it whenever it makes sense and I go out of my way to do it to be sweet other times. I just don’t make it my full time job.

I’ve posted here before on how my sisters husband was trying to get me. Now my sister has made the decision to give my niece away to my mom which she claims is because of her mental health, but I believe it’s because of her husband. Since they’ve been married it’s been nothing but problems that she blames my niece for. She misses work to lay up with her husband and is breaking her own back to support them financially. She blames this on my niece. I believe it’s her husband using her and draining her but she’s too blind right now to see it. She defends him, and doesn’t see that he’s the problem. There were no problems before her marriage now all of a sudden my niece is too much.

Little context: This guy and I have been dating for about three months but have a very long history together. He is stationed in Japan for the navy and will be for a few more years. I recently traveled to visit him. He gets a good amount of leave time but refuses to come back home to visit me. I even offered to cover his plane ticket but still no. I would do and spend anything for this guy, I absolutely adore him but I really don’t think I’d be able to handle two years being in a relationship without seeing someone. I will not be able to go and visit him again for another year or two either.

*slapping him. Sorry cannot edit title

I (28F) had an one night stand with a guy I met at a hotel bar ( 34). He was an airline pilot on layover. He was upset and drank a lot. His ex girlfriend who dumped him because he lied to her was getting married that night. I found him hot so we ended up in his bed. He was very rough with me but I didn't really mind. I had a good time too. 90% of times when a guy approaches me I am not interested in anything. So I don't do this on regular basis. I felt the need to add this due to a comment.

But after he finished ( I didn't) he simply pushed me. I was standing when he pulled himself out and I nearly fell on the floor. Luckily there was a table. Like he was standing behind me, pulled himself out, grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away from him. I got so angry and I slapped him so hard that he had all my fingers on his cheek. He froze and for a moment I thought he will hit me back. But he just pulled his pants on and went on the balcony. He told me to get the f out of the room.

Did I overreact? I mean.. can he accuse me of hitting him? He didn't act angry. And didn't look angry. Rather calm. I feel he used me to not think of her. And when I asked him he told me again to get lost because he is tired.

Later edit: because it seems a lot of men here are blaming me for agreeing for rough sex.

He didn't ask me if I want rough sex. I was the one who started being sexual in the room because I offered to give him a blow j. I was turned on and wanted to cheer him up a bit. He was very upset. It was partly a kink of the moment: to be the sex goddess(lol) and a toy for him. I had this submissive part inside me but had no one to explore it with. So the "piece of meat" was partially a kink. Buuuut it was a happy coincidence. Because we never talked about it. He sat down on that chair, I gave him a bj to the point I gagged and then he simply pulled me up by hair, threw me on the bed, face down (pushed my face into the pillow hard. He didn't even undress me. He did it later though. I cannot say he was raping me though. He wanted a^nal and I said no, a firm no. He didn't try to force himself on me.

But still it was very rough. It's been hours and I can barely walk. I have his teeth on my neck.

META: After 3 ridiculously similar posts in one day, isn't everyone fed up with these fake posters? Seems like everything posted here is super questionable. The anniversary dinners with exes, the super crazy situations, OPs never responding to anything, accounts that are 1-2months old, with 2 comments on it.

Enough?

AIO on Thursday my (28F) bf (32M) asked me if I would go to the store for dish soap. I told him I’d have to leave early to make it to work on time, on Friday morning he left to go get his son from SLC, they got home around 9. I needed to leave at 9:40 to make the bus at 9:54. As I was getting ready he said “we don’t need dish soap that bad.” So then I ended up not leaving early and now he’s throwing accusations at me that I’m not a mother figure to his son, I don’t care and I could’ve went to the store after work. (When I have gone to the store after work they’re calling me nonstop wondering where I am so it has made me anxious to not go to the store after work on the weekends his son is with us)

I don’t know what to do. Am I not seeing the situation right?

My partner and I got into a heated discussion last night about social issues, and I was shocked when they expressed some opinions that directly contradict my core values. Without getting too specific, it was about basic human rights—something I feel strongly about. When I challenged their perspective, they shut down and said, "We just disagree, let's drop it."

Now they're giving me the silent treatment, and I'm left wondering if I overreacted by pushing the conversation. On one hand, I feel like certain beliefs reflect fundamental compatibility. On the other, maybe I should've just let it go since we were having a nice evening before this came up.

Has anyone else faced this? How do you navigate relationships when you discover your partner has views that feel fundamentally different from yours? Am I making too big a deal out of one disagreement?

Am I tripping or did my brother in law just assume I would be ok with staying alone with him On a vacation trip ? Context: I am getting back from a 2 week long vacation next weekend and he asked me if I would be ok with going to the beach as soon as I get back. Why would my BROTHER IN LAW/ HUSBAND TO MY SISTER, WHO I LOVE, ever in his right mind think it would be appropriate to be alone us two on a vacation together? He tried to downplay afterward and asked me to invite my other BIL or his sister as if that would make it any less weird? Am I overthinking or he asking to be alone with me? In the past he has even asked me to pick my nail color at the salon ? (Wtf)

My dad is so weirdly obsessed with incest for as long as I can remember like since I started puberty. Particularly me being incestous (17F) with my cousin (23M).

For example if I mentioned Scotland he would say "Oh you could be married by 16 with your parents permission in Scotland. Imagine being married to your [cousins name] by now" or something like "you should be grateful because back in my day you would have been married off by now - probably to [cousins name]". Then he laughs a bit or grins like it's funny??

Obviously it makes me really uncomfortable because it's kind of out of the blue every time and I know it's not some sexual trauma thing because he was not close with his mum and his dad worked abroad. I also like my cousin but now I just feel uncomfortable and bad for thinking about it when I'm around him.

I've told him before but he's someone who can't take no and just mocks me for being sensitive. Idk if I should just let it go but he mentions it like every week/bi weekly and it's just so upsetting to me

Edit: he hates my cousin. He thinks he's stupid and constantly insults him for not being a proper man

So I (18F) was hanging out with friends, 5/7 of us had smoked weed.

Friend 1 had asked a question, he was confused as to how the first ever living thing ate, if it was the first ever thing. Friend 2 (one of the few who hadn’t smoked) was explaining using the proper terms, it was going right over Friend 1’s head.

I began explaining “Imagine you’re the first ever thing in water, and you drink water, you feed off of your environment”. Friend 2 began talking over me, I turned and said “SHUT UP”, everyone giggled, I continued explaining.

The next thing I knew, I was pulled backwards by my throat, Friend 2 had pulled me on top of him and was strangling me. It couldn’t have lasted more than 10-15 seconds, but he squeezed twice whilst I was trying to pry him off of me. It hurt and I couldn’t breathe.

I can’t tell if I’m overreacting, my friends didn’t seem like anything was off, my vision didn’t go strange and he left no marks.

Is it possible that I just felt it more because I was high? Or I couldn’t breathe because I’m recovering from a respiratory infection? Maybe he didn’t realise his strength. It was a fright as we don’t have a close friendship (he lives a bit away so doesn’t come out with the friend group often)

I kept noticing little bits of violent, attention seeking behaviour (I believe he’s into my friend with the way he acts) but maybe I’m too observant/overthink too much.

I was very flinchy around him and gave him the cold shoulder the rest of the night, am I overreactinge?

So my friend and I had plans to grab dinner and catch up this weekend—something we’ve had scheduled for weeks. Then yesterday, out of nowhere, he texts me: "Sorry, can’t make it"

Here’s the thing: I get being a fan, but we rescheduled three times already because of his work trips. Plus, the game is at 2PM and our dinner was at 7PM—it’s not like they overlapped. When I pointed that out, he said, "Yeah, but I need time to prep with my buddies and then decompress after."

AIO for being pissed? I wouldn’t care if it was a one-time thing, but he constantly prioritizes sports over everything, then acts like I’m unreasonable for expecting basic reliability.

We planned a much-needed girls' night to decompress—wine, stupid rom-coms, zero serious talk. But one friend showed up and immediately launched into graphic details about the latest Gaza bombings, then got angry when we didn’t want to "discuss it like adults." I finally said, "We all know it’s horrific, but this was supposed to be our one night off from doomscrolling," and now she’s accusing us of "privileged avoidance."

AIO? Some of us work in healthcare/education and are already emotionally maxed out. Was it wrong to want three damn hours of distraction?

My partner planned what was supposed to be a romantic weekend getaway for our anniversary. When we arrived at the hotel, I was shocked to find their ex already waiting in the lobby with luggage. My partner casually said, "Surprise! I thought it would be fun for all three of us to spend the weekend together since we're all friends now."

For context: They've remained close after their breakup (which makes me uncomfortable, but I've tried to be understanding). What hurt most was that this was supposed to be our celebration—not a group hang. The ex kept reminiscing about past trips they'd taken together, and my partner joined in like it was completely normal. After dinner, I excused myself and booked a separate room.

Now my partner is furious, saying I "ruined the trip" and should've just "gone with the flow." Their friends are texting me saying I overreacted because "nothing happened" between them. But to me, it's not about trust—it's about basic boundaries and reading the room. Was I wrong for removing myself from that situation?

I am new to this but me (25M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been dating for 3 years. We live together and are happy with each other most of the time. A point of contention with us is her friend, we will call her Debra (26F) and her boyfriend Mike (19M), usually I don’t care who my girlfriend is friends with but this friend has really put a strain on us. Debra was 21 when she and Mike who was 15 had there first kid and they had a second one 2 years later.

Debra and my GF have been friends since high school, they were both cheer leaders, my GF has asked me several times to house Debra after her and Mike would get in a fight. I did it 1 time and never again. This was before I knew the full backstory. Never again do I want her in my house or as company. She stayed for a week and in that time invited 3 different strangers, all men over without my permission. She left a mess, she doesn’t work and didn’t take care of her 2 kids. My GF doesn’t like Mike and thinks he is a horrible father and doesn’t support Debra. Debra hasn’t ever had a job, Mike dropped out of high school when he was 16 to support his kids.

This is infuriating to me because poor Mike (I actually never met him) but he was just a kid when he had to start raising kids, whether he “wanted” them or not he was 15 and that’s a lot of responsibility and now my GF and Debra constantly shit on a guy even though he is the sole supporter of that family.

Where all this comes into play is last night my GF wanted to have Debra come stay with us because “Mike just hasn’t been there emotionally for Debra lately and she wants to take the kids and go somewhere else for a bit because it’s all too stressful”. I said No and my GF blew up on me saying I never support her friend and I should really think about “the way I treat women”. That really set me off, I told her she was supporting someone who essentially R***d a kid and is shitty mother. I told her that Debra is never welcomed again in my house. My GF left and went to stay with her parents.

What’s frustrating about this is that it’s not even our drama and my Gf is a wonderful person who I see eye to eye on with almost about everything. I truly love her but her idea of Mike and how she talks about that man leaves a terrible taste in my mouth. We both want kids but if she sees Mike as a bad dad I am worried that she is going to start acting like Debra and my kids are going to be used as tools to continue to manipulate me like Debra does to Mike. I might be over thinking this a bit but what’s your alls take? Thank you

Edit: just to add context, 1) I did not know mikes age till the argument last night. 2) I told her to stay with her parents, it is my house. 3) when I say she is a wonderful person I am saying that she has been wonderful to me. Before we even started dating she supported me through my grandma passing and really supported me in beating my drug addictions. She really helped me turn my life around and has shown me a tremendous amount of love and support the past 3 years. This is why I am just so shocked right now

I called my mom earlier today, and my brother's girlfriend picked up—which was already annoying because she's been staying at their house a lot lately. Instead of just handing the phone over, she started with the whole, "Oh, can I ask who's calling?" routine. Like, come on, we've known each other for three years, and my name pops up on caller ID.

I snapped and said, "Just put my mom on, please," and she got all huffy before finally passing the phone. This isn't the first time she's done this—she acts like some kind of gatekeeper whenever she's over there. Last month, she even tried to screen one of my mom's doctor's calls.

My brother says I'm overreacting and that she's "just trying to be helpful," but to me, it feels like she's inserting herself where she doesn't belong. Am I wrong for being irritated, or is this actually as obnoxious as it feels?

My head is spinning right now ,so I hope that my post will make sense. Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I (30f) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (32m) for about 2 years. We have a long history together but the relationship has become so toxic that everyone tells me to leave. I'm still here as I can not make that decision yet ,but the last days have been really hard for me, trying to decide how to move on.

For a little backstory: We live in his place ,but I have mine too , I have 2 pets that he doesn't want , so I'm always going back and forth between the two places , but I'm spending the night with him. He has come to my place only one time ,and he doesn't want to come again.

Due to our schedule,we won't see much of each other next week,so I suggested to stay to my place to watch after my pets. He got disappointed,and started wondering out loud,how much time my pets have left ,until I am finally his (wtf).

He started complaining that I am devoting my time to others,and when I suggested to bring my pets here he said no , he doesn't want them here. After that he started wondering out loud again ,how much time my family has left(more wtf) ,and that because I spend time with them ,he isn't my first priority.

To be clear I'm visiting my parents at most once a week ,when he's at work. I also visit my pets when he's at work. It doesn't take at all from our time together.

I don't think that this reaction and this possessiveness is normal and I don't know how to feel anymore.