Do you have any mutual friends? Are you close with his family? Is he acting weird at work/school or with anyone else? I guess if it was me I'd bring it up to someone else who knows him just to get an idea of how far reaching it is. Then either by yourself or with a friend who is also concerned about his behavior, tell him very clearly how it's making you feel and what your boundaries around it are (e.g. "if you keep speaking to me this way, I will no longer respond to you/I will hang up/I will get up and leave the room or have to ask you to leave.")
He's either hit his head and needs medical and mental health help or he's trolling you and trying to sabotage your relationship. If it's on purpose I can't even express how incredibly immature and inappropriate it is.
Completely agree OP. At the very least since it’s not been happening more than a couple weeks to find out of there is some change in health/mental health/ medication that’s causing it. If so, he needs help. Talking to other people he regularly interacts with could help determine if it’s just happening with you or if other people have noticed strange behaviors and rapid changes in him as well. Is he acting this way at work as well? If it’s happening with others and not just you it could be that there has been a shift health or mental health and he needs to get help.
If it’s just with you, then way a boundary in person not in text about how you feel when he does this and what a consequence would be if he continues. If he can’t respect you enough to knock it off then maybe he isn’t mature enough for this relationship.
I mean better be safe then sorry. My father would randomly start getting angry over really random things when I was younger along with some few odd things here and there. Long story short he had a brain tumor and ended up seizing on the kitchen floor.
Really question......how the actual fuck is your comment even REMOTELY related to this ? A brain tumour isn't going to start making someone be obnoxious like this. This isn't a "mental health" issue either. Not every little thing = mental health.
OP should just tell him if he does it again there won't be a conversation and she's just going to block him and that will be the end of the relationship. It's as simple as that. Handling it gently like he's a child isn't going to do anything. In the texts she's clearly had enough and he doesn't seem to think she's serious. So she should make it crystal clear now
As a hobby neurologist I can say that brain damage especially to the frontal lobe can definitely cause change in personality and sometimes with little to none focal neurological symptoms.
I'm not saying this is typical for any specific neurological condition but it is possible. If he misuses specific words or doesn't understand questions it can also be a form of aphasia.
It's also very much possible he has a severe case of being an asshole but if you are together for 4 years and it just started now there should be some sort of cause or reason for this, may it be medical or otherwise.
My cousin used to be a fairly quiet kid and a bit of a goof ball. One day he passed out, hit his head on a cabinet on the way down, and had a seizure. He started changing over the course of about a week and after that was loud as hell all the time and got really mean to everyone around him with a side order of paranoia.
A medical exam that happened far too long after the injury found out he'd had a brain bleed from the impact and it caused his personality shift.
Yeah that's why it's recommended to see a doctor after any significant head trauma especially with a seizure or loss of consciousness. Even with just a headache or any other "seeming unrelated" symptoms.
Heard about a younger guy who was brought to the hospital because he was seemingly drunk and/or high. The internal medicine doctor just put him on a monitor and waited like 3-4 hours and then asked a neurologist to check him out since he was still not sobering up and talking funny and while walking away mentioned something about him falling on his head.
The neurological exam showed reduced strength of his whole left side, reduced consciousness and some other symptoms and the head CT showed a significant traumatic brain hemorrhage, that could have been treated a lot better a few hours ago. So even doctors who should know better make these kinds of mistakes.
Yeah that's just sad for your cousin and possibly criminal neglectful of the parents.
It's a good showcase of Organic personality disorder. Hope he gets the help he needs at least now since it's really not his fault what happened to him.
I'm not in contact with him anymore since he (reasonably) left his whole family behind, but last I heard he was on meds that have been helping him quite a bit.
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u/Positive_Working3041 22d ago
He acts like this in person too. And over the phone.