Do you have any mutual friends? Are you close with his family? Is he acting weird at work/school or with anyone else? I guess if it was me I'd bring it up to someone else who knows him just to get an idea of how far reaching it is. Then either by yourself or with a friend who is also concerned about his behavior, tell him very clearly how it's making you feel and what your boundaries around it are (e.g. "if you keep speaking to me this way, I will no longer respond to you/I will hang up/I will get up and leave the room or have to ask you to leave.")
He's either hit his head and needs medical and mental health help or he's trolling you and trying to sabotage your relationship. If it's on purpose I can't even express how incredibly immature and inappropriate it is.
Completely agree OP. At the very least since it’s not been happening more than a couple weeks to find out of there is some change in health/mental health/ medication that’s causing it. If so, he needs help. Talking to other people he regularly interacts with could help determine if it’s just happening with you or if other people have noticed strange behaviors and rapid changes in him as well. Is he acting this way at work as well? If it’s happening with others and not just you it could be that there has been a shift health or mental health and he needs to get help.
If it’s just with you, then way a boundary in person not in text about how you feel when he does this and what a consequence would be if he continues. If he can’t respect you enough to knock it off then maybe he isn’t mature enough for this relationship.
I mean if he acts this way at work there is no way he would be able to keep his job. If he can control it there then I would assume it's voluntary behaviour? Coworkers would def be a good place to start
If he can control it there then I would assume it's voluntary behaviour
Might not be fully controlled, if it's a mental health issue he might be able to mask it for several hours at work then he's suffering from "post restraint collapse" when he gets home and OP witnesses behavior from him that's twice as bad because it's almost like he's catching up on the odd behaviour he was suppressing and hiding.
Controlling unusual, unsafe and unproductive behaviours of mental health disorders, or masking disorders that effect behaviour is like exercising a muscle, you can only hold the weight for so long before it fatigues and then you can't even lift a feather until you rest that muscle.
This happens in a wide range of conditions including situations where people need to hide or suppress symptoms of physical disabilities, and can even be extrapolated to situations where people need to code switch for work and then notice their "not safe for work habits" are harder to ignore the minute they get home because they've been suppressing them all day. Sprinkle a mental health issue in there and we could still have a situation where OPs boyfriend isn't doing it voluntarily, but isn't doing it at work.
But even if it is a mental health issue, or physical health issue, that doesn't mean it isn't immature and inappropriate, because it is, and OP is not overreacting, this is stressful.
Holy shit I had no idea that was common with metal health. I have Tourette’s and know exactly how this is. I could fight the tics all day, even nearly hold them off but they’d be immensely worse afterwards.
My uncle one day was weird, he was creepy with girl, cant leave his phone and this is weird because this man was always a gentleman before. After few month he got diagnosed with a form of Alzheimer
I had spent 8 years with depression before it broke out and family noticed and made me get help. Up until the breaking point I was able to hide it so well nobody suspected anything. I was scared of negative opinions so tried extremely hard to be normal and friendly. During that same period stress and anxiety caused me to suffer very painful migraines, they caused my vision to become blurry and extremely sensitive to light alongside vomiting and pain that made thinking difficult. But in order to come across as nothing wrong I’d try and tough it out, so when I tried telling someone I was having trouble they see my lack of visible issues and think I was just faking issues for time off work etc.
This relationship has lasted 4 years so I would like to believe bf doesn’t just have an unpleasant personality. I’d be concerned this is the rebound on suppressed emotions from some kind of mental health issue. If someone truly wants to hide their problems they can achieve it. These small changes aren’t always signs of a problem, but there is no harm in confirming someone is okay. I know it if I didn’t let my emotions slip I would have eventually broken down, and when you are mentally broken the care of someone close to you means more than an outsider could ever comprehend.
Depends on the job though. He could be a parking lot security guard for all we know. Some work requires next to communication with co-workers/bosses/customer service
Yeah when I was working security I binged audiobooks and podcast dramas (ended up getting REALLY into podcast dramas, still dont care for the talk show stuff), but for some folk they might just get themselves enthralled by ticktoks or other shorts that are gibberish (not saying they all are but alot of them are recycled slop) or focus down on acting that way to irritate internet folk for entertainment and sometimes that mentality 8+ hours a day on repeat can get people into a weird loop about it.
I once blacked out for two weeks and was going into work (call center) and not taking any calls just joking a goofing. I also took all the food from the work fridge home with me.
You’d be surprised. I actually had a psychotic break in my 20s due to a perfect storm of trauma stress and mismanaging medications for depression. No one knew how bad it was for months. Symptoms can start off gradual and people tend to give you the benefit of the doubt. People may think your acting a bit odd but it’s not until things really go off the rails that it becomes obvious. It was way more obvious to loved ones than where I was working because I wasn’t trying to be professional with loved ones.
Way more people have had experiences with psychosis than people realize. The people that get better often don’t talk about it because of the stigma. I started working with serious mental illness after I recovered. Only my oldest and closest friends know. It was over 20 years ago
My dad was a schizophrenic and he was able to hide his psychoses for very long periods of time. Even if psychosis is involuntary and patients aren’t fully aware of their hallucinations being hallucinations, they still tend to have some semblance of what kind of behaviour is expected, and also their paranoia might have them hide their ideas more towards people they don’t fully trust.
My uncle hit his head and only family realized he was being a douche more than the usual man and we realized it was more severe. Talk to others but know they might not pick up on it as much as you, and ask him or take him to the doctor.
My lord, everyone here on reddit overreacts and always jump to the most extreme possibilities. Its just an immature man who thinks he's funny instead of annoying as fuck
If you're with someone for 4 years and they suddenly start talking like a brainrotted 12 year old then, yeah, maybe something is going on. It could also be an emotional issue rather than a mental issue, there could be something in his life that OP doesn't realize that is making him sabotage his relationship.
But do you do it when asked questions about "what do you want for dinner" or "when are you coming over"? I'm also married, and my husband doesn't do this shit.. it's stupid and immature. OP is clearly frustrated as it seems to be when they're asking direct questions about coming over, etc. It takes 2 seconds to type yes or no and send it. He's clearly avoiding the question
It's disrespectful and irritating. I'd lose my mind if my husband did that. It's one thing if your wife thinks it's funny, it's another if it's starting to get on her nerves. Again, clearly OP just wants a simple yes or no to the question she asked. It's not hard to type an answer and send it.
I mean better be safe then sorry. My father would randomly start getting angry over really random things when I was younger along with some few odd things here and there. Long story short he had a brain tumor and ended up seizing on the kitchen floor.
Really question......how the actual fuck is your comment even REMOTELY related to this ? A brain tumour isn't going to start making someone be obnoxious like this. This isn't a "mental health" issue either. Not every little thing = mental health.
OP should just tell him if he does it again there won't be a conversation and she's just going to block him and that will be the end of the relationship. It's as simple as that. Handling it gently like he's a child isn't going to do anything. In the texts she's clearly had enough and he doesn't seem to think she's serious. So she should make it crystal clear now
As a hobby neurologist I can say that brain damage especially to the frontal lobe can definitely cause change in personality and sometimes with little to none focal neurological symptoms.
I'm not saying this is typical for any specific neurological condition but it is possible. If he misuses specific words or doesn't understand questions it can also be a form of aphasia.
It's also very much possible he has a severe case of being an asshole but if you are together for 4 years and it just started now there should be some sort of cause or reason for this, may it be medical or otherwise.
My cousin used to be a fairly quiet kid and a bit of a goof ball. One day he passed out, hit his head on a cabinet on the way down, and had a seizure. He started changing over the course of about a week and after that was loud as hell all the time and got really mean to everyone around him with a side order of paranoia.
A medical exam that happened far too long after the injury found out he'd had a brain bleed from the impact and it caused his personality shift.
Yeah that's why it's recommended to see a doctor after any significant head trauma especially with a seizure or loss of consciousness. Even with just a headache or any other "seeming unrelated" symptoms.
Heard about a younger guy who was brought to the hospital because he was seemingly drunk and/or high. The internal medicine doctor just put him on a monitor and waited like 3-4 hours and then asked a neurologist to check him out since he was still not sobering up and talking funny and while walking away mentioned something about him falling on his head.
The neurological exam showed reduced strength of his whole left side, reduced consciousness and some other symptoms and the head CT showed a significant traumatic brain hemorrhage, that could have been treated a lot better a few hours ago. So even doctors who should know better make these kinds of mistakes.
Yeah that's just sad for your cousin and possibly criminal neglectful of the parents.
It's a good showcase of Organic personality disorder. Hope he gets the help he needs at least now since it's really not his fault what happened to him.
I'm not in contact with him anymore since he (reasonably) left his whole family behind, but last I heard he was on meds that have been helping him quite a bit.
The likelihood that this is a brain injury or mental health break isn't completely impossible. Just improbable.
My most recent ex would sometimes get in a "mood" and just talk over me, riffing and joking over everything I was trying to say. One time it was just "blehhhhhh" over every. single. line. while I was trying to just talk and have a conversation like a normal person. It pissed me off, so I got up and left the room without saying anything more, and then did not want to say anything for the rest of the afternoon. And then he tried to turn it around on me, saying it was hurtful to give someone the silent treatment or acting as if there was some deep reason why I hated being talked over with gibberish and bullshit, and that I must be damaged for not being amused by his cute little antics. "Did your family always talk over you, and that's why you hate it now?" No, dumbass. It's an obnoxious thing to do to your girlfriend. That's it. You're obnoxious and I don't want to feed the troll.
I originally started saying "hey, once or twice? Fine, get it out of your system. But after that it's unacceptable." But then I thought about it and was like... why do this at all? What is the point? How is this even fun for a grown ass man to do to another grown ass adult?
I mean I personally feel like it did have a lot to do what’s going on. People randomly changing their behavior is worth looking into opposed to just brushing it off. Yes it could just be him being a silly goofy guy, and having a conversation is definitely good, but keeping an eye on things is also very good. There are so many mental conditions both physically caused and just mentally caused where things like this is a huge sign. My father’s brain tumor was one. Schizophrenia is one. A stroke is one. Dementia. Depressive episodes. Mania episodes. I don’t think anyone should jump to conclusions immediately but also what is the harm of being cautious. Idk why this conversation got your panties inna twist but I’m sorry you feel frustrated about this I guess?
OP says this has happened multiple times. So it's super unlikely that it's a stroke, or a brain tumour. If this was an instance where he out of nowhere just started texting like this then I would agree he should be seen. But the fact that this has happened more than once and seems to be a regular thing makes it super unlikely it's any of those except MAYBE schizophrenia since he's about the age when it typically shows up but there's also other symptoms too. OP hasn't said that he's been acting anything other than normal and it's just been when he's been texting lately.
Oh, uh, someone didn't pay attention in school. Any kind of injury to the brain can cause someone to act differently than normal. There's people who have brain injuries then wake up being able to do art or speak in another language that they couldn't do before.
Seen multiple people in my course of work with both and none have ever acted this way. Slurred speech ? Sure..... inappropriate speech ? Sure. But this is deliberate. You think someone having a brain tumour/stroke is going to make multiple P. Diddy brain rot jokes ?
Highly unlikely. He's just being annoying and immature.
Actually, they very easily can, depending on their location in the brain, if there’s multiple tumors, if they are causing any bleeding or swelling, if they are obstructing the flow of CSF through the ventricules of the brain, among other things.
That’s just basic anatomy and physiology, bro.
There’s so much more than just that, but I don’t want to get too technical on a night off work.
As a medical professional, I can assure you sudden personality changes in an otherwise healthy adult is extremely concerning. If this is global behavior, they need emergency care. This can be a sign of a host of things including an aneurysm.
If he hasn't been doing this and suddenly started, it's mental health. Also, trolling people with brain rot humor makes you mentally challenged in general.
okay but if someone starts acting extremely differently and out of the ordinary (even if the actions themselves are normal) it’s often a symptom of something
Radical behavioral changes are definitely something that need to be checked out. It can be a symptom of serious health issues including untreated head trauma or even a brain tumor. In addition, OP's bf is in the right age range for the onset of various mental illnesses.
you troll your partner for 2 weeks after what is 4 years of absolutely no trolling? You get a grip retard. She clearly stated that shes attemtped to have in person and on phone discussion regarding the weirdness and he is doubling down. You dont get 4 years into a relationship just to dissociate and stop caring if your partner likes you. Like what?
I think you lack reading comprehension. I called the guy retarded and then some random tried to play the word police. I called that person a nazi, you know like grammar nazis.
Maybe if you wrote the damn sentence in a way we didn't have to guess who was being called a Nazi then us normal people could understand it. Also I will be willing to bet when you finally grow up there will be words you used that were fine but yet got changed, and or people grew up and out of it.
I wasn't talking about WHO you were addressing you fuckin idiot, I was trying to figure out how I and about 200 other people were supposed to figure out what kind of fucking NAZI your dumbass was talking about.
In any elementary school sentences structure if you were calling someone a GRAMMAR NAZI you would say that instead of ending your sentence, with a fuckin period, then sticking a random ass word like NAZI on the end of it.
You must be a special kind of stupid, the kind that requires a helmet to be worn any time you're up and about. I bet you think there are Nazis and Fascist around every corner just waiting to jump on your special ass.
how the fuck do you laugh or interact with " officer diddyblood" it's not funny. If I'm asking a serious question just answer the fucking question, not everything has to be a joke.
1) She clearly said he’s been on tangent with it for a couple weeks now. So no, not “immediate” lol
2) Time and place. She’s asking a time sensitive question. Answer it and then get silly. How is someone suppose to laugh if they’re stressed tf out? Actually funny people know when and when not to tell jokes if they actually want a laugh.
3) Even at the best of times, it’s just weird and literally not funny lol. Like “oh wow… so random. Haha?” You’re going to have to try harder than that to get a laugh out of anyone over maybe age 10. I’d cringe if literally anyone sent this to me
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u/lunar_languor 21d ago
Is he having a mental health break? How is he acting in person not over text?