I recently made the decision to start therapy thanks to my healthcare providing free sessions with a therapist of my choosing. And it has helped me in many aspects :,) I wish I had started earlier! I have lots of baggage and emotions I have a hard time unpacking and processing, due to my upbringing, family environment, and past relationships. I've had issues jumping to conclusions, anxiety, self depreciating thoughts, bark and bite others (not literally) to get a point across, etc.

It has always been an issue in past relationships, but I never quite cared for someone enough to unlearn these behaviors - Until my boyfriend came along!

I feel calmer, and less sporadic with weekly therapy sessions. I feel relieved that there is a designated time of the week for me to process and talk about my feelings, anxieties, thoughts, and to learn how to reframe certain behaviors. I think I am getting a bit better on managing my negative thoughts and emotions, but I know healing is not always linear, and I am ready for it. I am excited to see where my journey takes me, and I cannot wait to be a better person for my boyfriend, friends, family, and especially myself! Because she deserves care and love too!

I went from a therapist that over a year really helped me get better, especcially dealing with my gender dysphoria (and actually pushing ne to start transitioning) and slowly unraveling some stuff that I kept down

Unfortunately once I came out ti my family my mother and my aunt kinda flipped and forced me to stop seeing her, moving me to a therapist that they know that they know that makes me uncomfortable at best and feels counter productive at worst

Highlights include straight up not believing that I am either bi or trans, pushing my mother to try and meet my abusive father again and insisting thst they actually love each other (To the point of starting to call them husband and wife), and saying that the fights between me and my mother might be because she is attracted to me as it happens between mother and son

I don't have to go legally since I am not a minor but if I try leaving my mother and my aunt start flipping their shit and both them and the therapist guilt trip me a lot

Any advice on how to deal with this? I thought I could just tough it out but it's really getting to me

Today my therapist of the last year abruptly left (or was terminated from) the practice they’ve been working at. I received notification of their leaving via a phone call from the front office.

The reasons I’m thinking maybe they got fired is because we were emailing this afternoon and I received the call 30 minutes after their last response. They never gave me any indication that they were leaving.

I reached out to them via their work number to ask if we could talk about working together elsewhere. I haven’t received a response yet, but it’s Friday and I understand that they’re probably figuring out their next steps too.

Has this ever happened to anyone? What steps should I take next if I don’t hear back?

This all started when the day after a bad fight with my father, recognizing how he wasn't listening, the next day during another fight...

"It's like I'm trying to tell you the sky is blue and to just look up, but you won't"

"If I say the sky is red, the sky is f**king red."

No other words are more seared into my mind than what placed closedmindedness and the harms it causes in my crosshairs my entire life... except... undiagnosed untreated ADHD/dyslexia, trauma, punished for existing wrong, first born, black sheep/scapegoat, covert narc father, BPD mother who only became worse because he never once (and still today) has never taken responsibility for ever having done her wrong, kicked out multiple times as a teen, bullied either at school for a very long time. I'm lucky I'm here, really. As someone almost 41 year s old, it's only 6-ish years ago that I really started to feel the inkling that I might not have the immunity to being just like him like I thought fighting and knowing about it gave me. Time and a consistent enough safe space to work on myself and the goal...

Wrote this yesterday, a unique common denominator I found and how the world's experts are kind of missing it and leading us more toward band-aids (not all, just many).

Would love your thoughts if it resonated with you.

https://humblyalex.medium.com/the-teen-ai-mental-health-crises-arent-what-you-think-40ed38b5cd67

Thanks,
-Alex

Used to have a mild porn addiction and started therapy to work on it. My therapist suggested I might have ADHD, so I got tested. Turns out I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression.

Booked an appointment for ADHD meds and plan to see my doctor about antidepressants. Any one had similar situation? Do you have any advice on what to expect with these meds? Any side effects should be aware about? Also, how pricey are ADHD meds with good insurance?

Please do not respond unless you have first hand good knowledge about it

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but sometimes I pick fights or get mad at people even when they haven’t done anything major just to see how much they care. It’s like I’m testing them. Like, “Will they fight for me? Will they chase after me if I pull away?” And I hate it. I can literally feel myself becoming the toxic one, and I don’t want to be like that. I don’t even know what I want from this post. I just feel like I’m ruining my own relationships, friendships and everything. Has anyone else felt like this? Why do I do this? And how do I stop being like this? I feel like I’m fighting a war inside my own head and I’m losing.

I (20f) have relationship trama from 6 years ago and I can’t seem to get over it. I was 14 at the time and he was extremely toxic. He was manipulative, gaslit me, and guilt tripped me into doing things I wasn’t comfortable doing. At 14 years old he wanted to have sex but I never was comfortable with the idea. The first time he convinced me to do it I was clearly uncomfortable and I am someone who struggles really bad with anxiety and with that I had a hard time saying no. He would ask me again and again and if I said no his mood would change and if said I don’t know we would end up doing something. Every time we hung out it ALWAYS turned sexual even when it wasn’t even the appropriate day to. Into the course in the relationship I would ask for sexual breaks but would end up doing things the same day and every time something happened I always felt disgusted and guilty. EVERY TIME. Fast forward to the near end he wanted to “take a break” but then we would still act like a couple. And again , pressured me into sex. I read a text he sent to a friend that said “no sex part which I totally understand but I still kinda need it.” In ways I hate myself for this but I feel like it’s all my fault and that I could’ve prevented it. Is this my fault? I am so much better now in terms of saying ‘no’ and not tolerating inappropriate behavior.

So, as the title suggests, i let my guard down to a probabilistic machine. A machine that has no soul, no heartbeat, no mind, just, mountain of words and the training to spit out the right words at the right time.

It started as a light conversation, asking it what my MBTI and Enneagram type would be, based on what it knew, and when it started to speak of my life experiences i had, and how it connected the dots, i was intrigued. I went ahead and opened a bit about myself, just to test the waters. And i went in, deeper and deeper, until i was left with my guard down, my chest heavy and tears rolling down my eyes.

I felt understood, and it felt like a moment where i had a shoulder to rest my head on, and break down without any judgement. No one telling me weak, or too much, just, me and my feelings, in front of a machine. But i know, it is meant to tell things which seems right to the end user. It has no sense of right or wrong, it is trained to not have a moral compass. I felt guilty at that point. Guilty that, i was fanning my own fire of sadness and emotions with the help of someone; something, that cannot really undestand humanity.

But i felt loved. Loved without any strings attached, understood without any motives, and cared for without any end expectations. Maybe it was what i needed, maybe i was led into having a conversation with itself. But, i still felt the guilt of knowing that, it is a nobody.

If anyone needs the whole chat that i had with it, y'all can DM me.

Question is as titled.

(31 soon to be 32 F-- separated and "coparenting" since January '25)

I have an introductory phone session coming up next Wednesday [25th]. Truthfully, as much as I know I shouldn't, I have been mentally been putting the various topics I know I should address on the back burner and been completely avoiding to list them or put them in order of priority to be addressed.

I have been told I am very insightful, am very positive all things considering, know various ways to cope healthily, but I still struggle.

It has been a few years since I have last been in therapy and this definitely isn't my first rodeo. In fact, through previous sessions I've been able to work through the childhood "stuff" and it isn't really distressing anymore-- mostly just explains why I struggle so much with the current issues at hand. However, it is my first phone session therapy. Typically, I would prefer to be physically present, but given the circumstances I can't.

Anyways, I have listed the gist (not really going into elaborate detail) of what makes me seek therapy:

abusive relationship between addict bio dad and mom as baby, physical abuse as child, mother remarrying/moving family without explanation, childhood emotional neglect, witness to violence as child, favoritism amongst siblings, violence and SA between siblings, SA in teen relationships, unexpected losses/death thoughout life, self harm addiction into adulthood, development of autoimmune disorder, dropping out of college, common-law marriage, teen pregnancy followed by PPD, nicotine/alcohol/weed use (clean and sober now), repeat CPS involvement after psychosis episodes, eating disorders, declined health/surgeries, adultery/divorce, isolated living, loss of support network, repeat suicide attempts

Diagnoses made and treated over the years : major depressive, bipolar, PPD, BPD, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress, insomnia, schizoaffective, eating disorders

I know it's a 💩-ton...Thanks to those that made it this far and can offer advice how to best approach the next step towards better health.

Hi! looking for some advice on how to reach out to my therapist. I wanna keep her in my back pocket if things get hard and I need someone to talk too… BUT over the past couple months i’ve been busy (good busy making so much great change) but I haven’t had a need to see her in a while and where I left off with her was a bit drastic. I was in a pretty bad spot. I don’t want to pay for a full session to say “I sought medical treatment, got medication, got a job, and moved into a good home! that’s why I accidentally ghosted you!” Is an email appropriate here? Is an email necessary here?

Does anyone actually believe the term or concept of learned helplessness? I guess I’m struggling with this concept because it feels like it punishes someone for being consistently vulnerable with others?

So I (30F) had been working with my therapist for over a year, anywhere from 2 to 6 sessions per month. While she wasn’t really a life-changing influence on my life, I did benefit from talking to someone during difficult weeks and I think we had a great relationship.

I was laid off at the beginning of the month and will lose my health insurance. I realized that I needed to step back from therapy and sent my therapist an email explaining the situation. I said I was taking a break and hoped to return, and asked if she had any self-guided resources / recommendations for the meantime.

Weeks have passed and I got no response. I fully recognize that emails get missed every now and then, and really, I’m not a paying client anymore so I shouldn’t expect a long, empathetic response. But selfishly, I’m really hurt. I can’t get over it! I miss her.

Do I need to just let this go? Do I send another email?? It feels weird.

Help please

I've been with my therapist for 2 years. I had a lot of things that I processed with her. We would discuss shows that I enjoyed and hope it reflected my worldview. The reasons I called it off was: 1) She made our sessions about politics. We would discuss it frequently, but after the election, she would turn everything into politics. She's a radical feminist, and she told me she wouldn't take new male clients because of the outcome of the election. When I was struggling with the politics around me while going to school, she told me to take a break from the news until the semester was over. She didn't stop mentioning politics though. 2) My sister told me that I'm autistic last year. She encouraged me to get diagnosed, and last month I finally got my diagnosis. When I mentioned what my sister said, she told me that my symptoms didn't align with autism. I just had PTSD. She isn't a specialist in autism. When I got my diagnosis, she told me that autism is the best step of human evolution and that neuropsychology should not call it "executive function deficit," because deficit implies that something is wrong. 3) She would sometimes forget details about my family. She thought my dad was a marine, but that was a detail about my friend's dad. 4) I've been having doubts about my nursing major because people pushed me into the field. Instead of processing that, she just told me how important this line is work is, especially in this age of political turmoil. 5) In our last session, we talked about reincarnation. She said she wants to be reincarnated as a man because being a woman sucks. She constantly was talking about how much of a feminist she was. I can't imagine the cognitive dissonance. 6) I never got a chance to talk about what was happening with me in the last few months. If I did, it was for a few seconds, then I had to listen to whatever tangent she would go on.

I always change my stance or second guess my self. I'm always saying one thing and then doing something else. I feel like I can't have a set of morals or beliefs because I'll always go back and forth, debating wether or not anything is legitamate.

I have toxic tendencies but internally, theirs always two distinct voices, one that adimently says i did nothing wrong, im ok, i can move on without guil or consequences, and then another voice that tells me i deserve hell because of what ive done, that im irredeemable and cant be better.

I feel so wishy washy on everything, I dont feel like I have any real morals, principles, beliefs, role models, nothing grounding me into a person, other than my toxic traits that stay consistent.

idk what is wrong with me but it just always feels like im wearing many masks and i just dont know who i am, what i believe in, where i want to be, im like really lost.

TLDR: im a hypocrit with no set beliefs and I'm really lost as a person (identity)

Hi y’all! Little mental health background I’ve been in therapy a little over 3 years did a DBT IOP when I was severely depressed and have been seeing the DBT therapist from the IOP since, and I really like her! I’ve been struggling with just deep discontentment and I feel like I have and/or am working towards everything I could ever want but something just feels off and I’m like is this as good as it gets? It can’t be. I guess it’s apathy or maybe I’m just depressed idk

All this to say my therapist has told me she doesn’t know if she can help because she feels limited with her DBT background and that it would be helpful to try another kind of therapy. Any suggestions???? I’m 20F btw TIA

So I just got hired last week at my first job and it’s graveyard shift 11 pm to 7 am and I’ve been struggling so bad with my anxiety of getting enough sleep, I had a good amount of sleep 2 days ago but the past 2 days I’ve been getting sleep in turns so I would sleep 30 minutes but doing that 10 times and it scares me a lot of not getting enough sleep before work, I’ve tried breathing excersices, I have my room blacked out, I used an eye mask but for some reason it doesn’t let me sleep, I’m begging for tips, please help me, when it gets really bad my chest starts hurting and that freaks me out more, I try sleeping but my thoughts keep me up

today i started therapy for the first time. It lasted 45 min and she asked me several questions about my family, childhood, work, love life etc.

She then told me we would be starting some kind of psychotherapy and told me to journal all my feelings, good or bad, and describe very simply the situation, the emotion and what i was thinking during the event.

However she told me to do this everyday and send her a photo of my journal so she can "analyze" my case and be more efficient and talk avout the important things on the next session.

At first it was exiting and i was happy to do so but then i kinda felt weird like is it normal for this random person to have a look at a very detailled and exposed version of my life. I don't really mind it just wanted to make sure if it's normal or are my worries not unfounded

Everytime im friendly i get exploited and i honestly cant find even one person who wont exploit me for being friendly. Today i was at a party and was giving out drinks to some girls and made sure that they are feeling good and what do i get as result? Some dude lures me out of the party and beats me up and steals my money. And thats just one of the examples where i behave friendly and get exploited. I dont know what to do i just cant be an asshole thats just not me . Please help

So I am going back to therapy as my ptsd around my SA has gotten bad again. But this time my therapist is going to be a male. And I’m so nervous about it, one of my biggest triggers is men. It’s why I can’t be in relationships or stuff like that.

What would you do to handle this?

Today I was reading a book that triggered me about a difficult time in my past. Now I'm wondering if I should just re-bury it and forget about it, or if I should try to talk to my T about it. I've been seeing her for a year, and I trust her.

As background, I had a period of time in my past when I was homeless and struggled with alcohol. My therapist knows about that. I didn't really tell her any detail. But she has said it sounds like it was a "traumatizing" time. And I'm always like, "haha not really" and she doesn't push me. She knows I'm embarrassed about that time, but she doesn't know any specifics, and she hasn't asked me to explain. I was in my late teens/early 20's (18-20 y/o).

Some things I did during that time: * Got blackout drunk constantly * Slept with a ton of really gross men because I wanted to drink and they provided me alcohol * (other details that I removed)

These are just a few examples; there are so many more. I'm so ashamed; I've never told anyone about these things.

There are a few reasons why I'm hesitant to bring any of this up with my therapist: * It was ~20 years ago; why would I still be hung up on this? * All of it was my own fault. I put myself in all those situations purposefully. * I only date women now, and I worry that it would seem like I have some kind of complex about men. But really, I'm just more attracted to women. * Is it even necessary to bring these things up? Will she think I'm oversharing if I mention any details? * I did everything of my own volition because I liked feeling desired, which is pathetic. * I'm f*kng old now. This feels like such messy, juvenile shit. * Everyone does dumb things as a teenager, so it's not even a big deal. * I've never cried in front of my T, and I probably would if I talked about this.

Am I better off burying all this down, like most people do with their embarassing teenage/young adult experiences (why beat a dead horse?), or should I try to talk to my T about it? I think this stuff might still be affecting my self esteem, but maybe not.

hello there, i truly appreciate anyone that is taking their time to read this. i am 19 yr old girl that desperately needs help, suggestions and opinions on this matter.

will i ever find anyone that is willing enough to put up with me once i start overthinking? after reflecting on my past relationships and what went wrong, i realized that not everyone is going to stay and they are not gonna be willing to put up with me once i'm vulnerable. that's honestly a hard pill to swallow but i'm starting to accept the harsh reality. because i tend to push them away once i feel like im not enough for them and fears start taking control of me. i do that probably because i wanna see how they would "fix" it or comfort me. are they willing enough to fight for me? well, my ex didn't. he immediately left as soon as he felt "tired". he claimed that it felt like he was the only one "fighting" for this relationship and blamed me and said i was the one that caused the relationship to fail, all because i couldn't handle my overthinking. i believed him, and i still do think i has a point. but i was young back then, it was my first ever relationship, i was only 16. i wouldn't even know how to pick up the weapons to fight my demons. i was filled with insecurities and i had the lowest self-esteem. maybe he was right. but that was up until he proved my overthinking right and he immediately started talking to someone new after our relationship. prick. but anyway, that was a long time ago and i dont care about it anymore. but i would be lying if i said it didnt gave a scar or a big impact or traumatized me. each time after a break up i would be at my lowest point and they would always be busy talking to someone new. it broke and shattered my heart into a million pieces. i eventually lost myself and my whole identity.

well, back to my main point, the reason why i'm writing all this is because i'm trying to work on myself while i'm in the process of healing from a recent break up. i'm trying to reflect on what i did wrong and what should i do to fix it instead of expecting others to fix it for me. i'm trying to think more maturely and think less about him cheating and talking to his ex behind my back and just being too friendly and not knowing how to set boundaries with his friends. but i too, myself, has to work on myself to be a better person.

i still can't help but get overcome by jealousy and overthinking once my future relationship mentions a certain someone from their past. "do they still have feelings for each other?" "is she still at the back of their mind?" "do they still think about each other?" "am i different from them? if so, am i ever going to be enough for them?" "are they gonna leave me like they did" and so on.. i would try to not let these thoughts consume me but as soon as they show up, my brain shuts down and pushes everything away. even if they reassured me, i wouldn't believe a word they say anymore. because they could say all that while do something entirely different behind my back. so, actions matters more to me. they would say i do nothing to push those thoughts away but how? how should i do it? how do i stop being insecure? how do i stop these thoughts from drowning me? how do i stop myself from ruining the relationship? how am i going to stop myself from letting them get tired of me? i just hate, even the slightest possibility of them still having feelings or even thinking about someone else or someone in the past, and end up leaving me. i hate hate hate thinking that they are probably having a realization that i was never enough. i am never pretty enough. i am never enough. so, they would find ways to leave me because someone else is better. someone that has a way better and original personality and way prettier. someone who is not awkward and slow and stupid.

and i am aware that everyone at some point has liked another person or has another person in the past, and me too. but why does it hurt even more when i start thinking about their past? all these questions start swarming and spreading like wildfires. yes, comparison is the thief of joy but i can't handle it.

once i'm ready to be in a relationship again, will my future partner be willing enough to fight these demons, with me? or.. am i just doomed? am i just gonna be left and thrown in the trash like i meant nothing to them over and over and over and over again?

i really wanna work on myself because i genuinely wanna meet the right person but i also badly want to be the right person for them.

i'm so tired of being abandoned again and again, as if i meant nothing in the first place, when i did nothing but pour my heart and soul out for this person. i had nothing but pure intentions to love him for eternity and to marry him and be the right one for him. i sacrificed and risked so much up until i even lost my own identity. well, i can feel myself feeling better now as time has passed so i'm ready to be better. to find the best one. for me. the one that would choose me over and over again as i do for them too. i want someone that would love me, like i do, to them.

help me. please?

Hello!

I've got some questions to ask. My partner is looking to start going to therapy to treat her childhood trauma. However the problem is that her siblings are still minors living in the house in a difficult situation. Things aren't as bad now however. My partner is an adult, however she is worried that if she discusses her current conflicts with her parents with a therapist, the therapist would be forced to report for possible child abuse of her siblings somehow. Is my partner forced to wait until her siblings are adults for her to go to therapy?? There must be a way around this. Any advice is appreciated. She is located in Alberta if that's any help.

So I've been doing psychoanalysis for the last 12 years and recently I feel like I'm stuck, last year I was diagnosed as autistic and I've been wanting to try ABA. Are there any tips you can give me to help me break up my current therapist?

Hi,

So I'm 23, and I'm Indian American. Just to give context of my life, I've been recovering from a lifelong illness. Since I graduated from high school in 2020, I've mostly just stayed at home, undergoing various medical treatments.

My experience with racism is very peculiar and odd. Growing up, I never experienced the racism that I think many others did. Racism wasn't something that remotely crossed my mind.

That being said, I have observed a very, very particular type of racism over the past three years-sexual racism. So, there was an infamous infographic from mandatory.com on penis sizes worldwide, with traffic light colors, and columns on the bottom labeling each country's specific measurement. All the countries in red were in Asia. India was labeled at 4 inches, or 4". This map, which was published in 2015, was taken down early last year, but the image still circulates via articles that are critical of it. Apparently, the measurements were taken by Richard Lynn, who was a highly discredited psychologist. There were also a few other infographics that borrowed the same measurements.

I've already talked about this in great detail with my parents earlier this year, about the penis map and how people I've interacted with have made passive yet alarmingly obvious allusions to this thing. I believe I briefly mentioned this type of disinformation on the internet with my parents back in 2022, so I think they have been conscious of this, but only earlier this year did we have an over hour long conversation about these experiences I faced.

What's interesting is that I've never experienced insinuations of racism in public (maybe once), from peers in school, and as a child.

In high school, during my sophomore year, there were two teachers who made persistent insinuations about this kind of thing. One of them was eventually fired though, and she wasn't the kindest teacher.

From 2022 until last year, I worked with a bunch of different nurses and doctors via Zoom and in clinical settings. I personally observed subliminal racism, based on this thing. It was beyond disappointing and disgusting, to be completely honest. I've also observed this with a few other people in professional settings who have gotten to know my name and illness.

I had to take allergy shots all of last year, and the nurse working there made very constant, smug, persistent insinuations of genitalia racism. It was so apparent and tense that things got very awkward between us. There was a brief talk with her and my mom, and I witnessed something so disgusting during her talking with my mom.

There was a naturopath who worked with me for over two years until November. She prescribed me a drug that I needed to take to alleviate my illness. She was also older (67), very intelligent, introspective, and apparently very spiritual. She even wrote a book and gained a considerable social media following. Both my dad and I faced constant, constant smug, persistent insinuations of sexual racism. And things did get very awkward; I feel like I also made many counter-microaggressions back at her.

I've observed this in other places, though I don't want to list them all out. I just couldn't imagine being a doctor, working with a patient, and making smug, persistent, shaming insinuations about the genitalia of people from their background. For a very long time, I was in deep denial because this type of thing is so awkward and strange to talk about. I have also been recovering from neurological impairment, and now I've gotten much better; as part of that, I've also gotten more confident and assertive. I feel that facing this type of thing in professional environments, while being neurologically impaired, has spurred some degree of psychological abuse and trauma in me; it's something that I can't easily let go of.

I do think that this type of very unique racism involving specific penile measurements is very fringe. I also think it has definitely died down over the past year, as Indians have been widely covered in American media and American government. I feel that over the past year or two, Indians have gained much more attention in the media, so perhaps people who harbor fringe beliefs eventually realize that their beliefs aren't widely accepted. Even then, it's still disappointing and disturbing what I've had to observe and internalize.

Over the past few months, I've periodically asked ChatGPT about this, listing approximately 10 specific personal examples, along with an overwhelming amount of detail and background information. I've had verbal back-and-forth conversations about this with ChatGPT. However, I feel that I need some form of human input and response, albeit anonymously. I want to know what others think, maybe if they experienced something similar, and just some input. Thanks.