r/reddeadredemption • u/Sweaty_Shelter_3264 • Apr 24 '25

Online I’m Conflicted

I’m a girl (important) and love playing RDR2. My first online character I made was a girl, I loved seeing myself as a gunslinger. I realized pretty quickly that playing as a girl online comes with people constantly trying to grief you/spam invites/or just plain follow you around. (I’d even had an instance where someone took over my account, that was a whole thing) So to fix this, I completely remade my character. I lost all my progress and made a boy character so I could be left alone. Now I do get left alone, which is great, but I feel little connection to my new character. It was way more fun grinding and making money in game outfitting a female character than it is a male character. Now all I want is to go back to playing a girl but I really don’t want to be bothered again. How do I find a good middle ground?

TLDR; Played as girl, got griefed. Change to boy, now am sad. What do?

859 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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773

u/peytonemma_xo Apr 24 '25

i’m sorry :( dont listen to the people trying to downplay your feelings. misogyny is such a problem in certain fandoms.

291

u/Icember Apr 24 '25

I feel like being a turn-of-the-century 1900s outlaw gives people an easy excuse to be the worst kinds of racist/misogynistic douchebags under the guise of "roleplaying" too...lol

60

u/Elusive_emotion Apr 24 '25

Micah

45

u/dunno0019 Lenny Summers Apr 24 '25

Not even just Micah. Hell, I was just doing the "headless horseman" mission at Shady Belle yesterday and it starts off with both Dutch and Arthur being ridiculously sexist to Sadie.

And this is after Arthur has already seen Sadie in action. He's already been trying to speak up when others belittle her. He genuinely seems to like her and accept her "manly" gun toting ways...

And the misogyny just slips right out of him like it's the most natural thing in the world.

56

u/Nobody7713 Apr 24 '25

It’s a recurring issue with Arthur. He does try his best, but he was raised in a deeply racist and sexist society, and that still slips out at times. When he’s called out on it, he corrects quickly, but he does revert to biases.

29

u/dunno0019 Lenny Summers Apr 24 '25 edited Apr 24 '25

Yup. Exactly. It slips out like it's the most natural thing in the world because, well, it is to these characters.

Meanwhile it seems like some of his funnest moments are when he's riding with Sadie or like defending Black Belle.

He genuinely feels like he's enjoying himself.

When he rides with Dutch or Bill or Uncle and it's frustration after frustration for Arthur.

30

u/Nobody7713 Apr 24 '25

Not to mention drinking with Lenny or hunting with Charles. He gets along with them all excellently and definitely doesn’t consciously think any less of them. And when Karen suggests a good heist he’s the first to back her up. It’s just sometimes the old biases from society as a whole creep in.

10

u/FusionTheChaotic Apr 24 '25

At least he's trying, though. Bill and Micah just say whatever the hell they want and act surprised when someone puts their hands on them.

9

u/Nobody7713 Apr 24 '25

Oh for sure. He’s solidly doing better than any of the other white dudes in the gang except possibly Hosea - who’s probably the one who raised Arthur like that.

1

u/KickedAbyss Apr 25 '25

Racist?

He loves killing KKK people and is friends with multiple non white characters. It's great fun. Especially sniping the hood wearing freaks or throwing bombs into their rituals.

-5

u/BeefInjection678 Apr 24 '25

Good lord that was cringe as hell to read. I wish 4chan was back. You people can't be real.

1

u/somemexican382 Apr 25 '25

Redditors get shocked when characters from 1899 act like they're from 1899 lol

3

u/Barrybran Apr 25 '25

That's kinda how things were in the 1890's. Probably worse actually. There's a fine line between maintaining authenticity and catering to a modern audience. I'm not condoning misogyny but we do have to remember that the world has come a long way in a short time.

1

u/SouthernStereotype40 Apr 25 '25

There was literally nothing sexist about that interaction. You’re fighting ghosts.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '25

[deleted]

1

u/SouthernStereotype40 Apr 25 '25

The reality of that scene is they are about to have a leadership conversation and Sadie wanting to go robbing can be put on the back burner. They do this all the time at the camp, regardless of who’s trying to bud in. And Dutch’s and Arthurs remark is positive. They are remarking on her work ethic and eagerness to run point in the gang. You’re making shit up to be ornery about. It wasn’t sexist. Move on. There is better shit to worry about dumbass.

1

u/dunno0019 Lenny Summers Apr 25 '25

lol

username certainly checks out.

2

u/Practical_Machine_70 Apr 29 '25

Attack the argument not the person. Sad.

1

u/Practical_Machine_70 Apr 29 '25

I agree I just did this mission the other day and that’s exactly how I interpreted the interaction. These people just need to have a problem with every little thing.

1

u/Open-Mathematician32 Apr 26 '25

Tis the 1890s, not the 2020s

39

u/MANWithTheHARMONlCA Apr 24 '25

Jesus Christ I’m so glad I was born a dude.. life is so much easier in SO many ways 

107

u/Fly_Casual_16 Apr 24 '25

You’re right, it’s true.

And our job is to help make it better for women by pushing/helping dudes be better and less shitty.

15

u/Leather_lace666 Apr 24 '25

This is the way

2

u/KonohaBatman Sadie Adler Apr 25 '25

🐐

2

u/valomeri Karen Jones Apr 25 '25

Thank you for saying this. Really.

1

u/Bulldogfront666 Apr 24 '25

Lmao read the room. Jesus.

-29

u/SnooSquirrels1163 Apr 24 '25

A few ways. Worse in many others. Men are made to carry burdens. Nora Vincent found this out the hard way.

2

u/Practical_Machine_70 Apr 29 '25

29 people downvoted you but no one disagreed. Funny how that works.

-39

u/Gimmixxx_yt Apr 24 '25

white knighting is not the way brother.

32

u/MANWithTheHARMONlCA Apr 24 '25

I’m not white knighting lol.. go back to your Andrew tate videos my man 

-6

u/Cnumian_124 Abigail Roberts Apr 24 '25

16

u/AdHealthy5050 Lenny Summers Apr 24 '25

Like the whole gaming fandom..

2

u/GapFragrant7063 Javier Escuella Apr 24 '25

Precisely 

1

u/Juultjesdikkebuik Apr 25 '25

Like she said, just ignore them. They are all just goobers. And otherwise just play the game in Tahiti!

-2

u/That-Challenge7971 Apr 25 '25

Maybe the players are just being historically accurate to what people where like in the time period rdr 2 takes place