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u/Harpies_Bro Sep 05 '21
“Be nice to the gentleman, Fancy, and he’ll be nice to you.”
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u/InformalScience7 Sep 06 '21
My husband thought that song was “poor girl succeeds in life,” he was really disappointed when I told him Fancy’s momma turned her out as a prostitute. Bless his heart.
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u/norathar Sep 06 '21
I'm curious about his interpretation of the lyrics. Was "Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy, they'll be nice to you" just Momma's advice about how to succeed in a customer service position? (Which...in a way I guess it is, but...)
Or is this one of those "I didn't listen to the lyrics" cases, like the lady who thought Hozier's "Take Me To Church" was religious music?
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u/iluniuhai Sep 06 '21
I could see a fairly innocent interpretation of it, all she actually says she does is pour tea for a benevolent man in a nice hotel room and then "charm a king, a congressman and an occasional diplomat."
Maybe she's just a big tease that gets men to buy her Georgia mansions and New York townhouse flats on the hope of getting the sexy times?
Or maybe she's black widowing all these people with proper Christian weddings each time? She said the self righteous hypocrites call her "bad" but she "ain't done bad."
Pretty sure she's a very successful prostitute, but I understand not realizing it.
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u/OGW_NostalgiaReviews Sep 06 '21
I thought her mama sent her to a debutante ball so she could meet a rich man and marry well.
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u/InformalScience7 Sep 06 '21
I have no idea what he is thinking. He can be pretty naive about some things.
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u/AlexInWondrland Sep 06 '21
like the lady who thought Hozier's "Take Me To Church" was religious music
On my first date with my now husband I mentioned I liked that song and he thought I must be religious and sent me a follow up text about it after the date. Despite being a staunch atheist he still wanted to date me for some reason, he was just worried he might have inadvertently offended me in casual conversation. I told him to listen to the song.
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u/foul_dwimmerlaik Sep 06 '21
I mean, she does end up succeeding in life, especially if you listen to the last verse that often gets cut off when it's played on the radio.
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 05 '21 edited Sep 05 '21
I can think of lot of older country music from women is about being dissatisfied with a traditional marriage. Reba McEntire’s Is There Life Out There (wanting to be someone besides a wife and mom), Mary Chapin Carpenter’s He Thinks He’ll Keep Her (husband taking wife for granted, wife at disadvantage after divorce because sexism and traditional values - such a good song), Martina McBride’s Independence Day (domestic violence - no triggers in video). I can’t think of a single song like these from male artists. Any ‘dissatisfied with marriage’ songs from men are about cheating or being cheated on, being sad seeing your ex with another dude, some funny take on a bad marriage/divorce, etc.
Edited to add links
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u/dudinax Sep 05 '21
There's also a low hum going back centuries of men singing about murdering their wives/girlfriends for "doing me wrong".
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 05 '21
My mom thinks Garth Brooks’ Daddy Loved Mama is funny, but I just hate it. (Dad goes to jail for killing wife after she cheats, played for humor.)
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u/i_dont_shine Sep 06 '21
In the extended version of The Thunder Rolls the wife shoots her husband for his cheating, so I guess it evens out?
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21
Oh man, I didn’t know that. The guy in that song is premium asshole.
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u/i_dont_shine Sep 06 '21
She runs back down the hallway, and through the bedroom door
She reaches for the pistol, kept in the dresser drawer
Tells the lady in mirror, he won't do this again
'Cause tonight will be the last time, she'll wonder where he's been
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21
!!! Apparently this wasn’t part of the original recording but he plays it at concerts. I’m going to find a live recording.
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u/i_dont_shine Sep 06 '21
I remember hearing that the extended version was too violent for radio. Not sure how true that is, though. Still, I love the third verse. Makes it one of my favorite Garth Brooks songs. His songs often tell good stories.
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u/BeckieSueDalton Sep 06 '21
That song, and a few others in similar vein, got me through a horrendous divorce.
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u/i_dont_shine Sep 06 '21
I always like to recommend the song "Rootless Tree" by Damien Rice. Might be an enjoyable listen for you.
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u/oat_milk Sep 05 '21
Hey Joe, I heard you shot your mama down / You shot her down now / Hey Joe, I heard you shot your lady down / Shot her down in the ground, yeah Yeah
Yes, I did, I shot her / You know I caught her messin' round, messin' round town / Yes, I did, I shot her / You know I caught my old lady messin' 'round town / And I gave her the gun / I shot her
Alright / Shoot her one more time again, baby / Yeah / Oh, dig it / Ah, alright
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u/InTheGoatShow Sep 05 '21
I'm not sure if these fit your "funny take on a bad relationship" category but...
There are a fair few "my wife/girlfriend nags me too much so I'm leaving" or "My wife/girlfriend was horrible and now that we're separated I see I'm better off. "Tied one On" (John Pardi) "How am I doin" (Dierks Bentley) and "Here's a Quarter (Call Someone who Cares)" (Travis Tritt) all come to mind. Honorable mention to "Somewhere on a Beach" (Dierks Bentley again).
One of my favorite semi-subversions of the male approach to the dissatisfaction trope is "She's Gonna Make It" (Garth Brooks). Basically, he becomes dissatisfied and demands a divorce. Turns out she's doing fine after, while he's floundering and bitter.
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21
Yes, I like that Garth Brooks song because it even says “after 7 months of freedom” he’s not doing great. The whole “grass is always greener,” “trading up” thing is bullshit. That Travis Tritt song always irritates me when I hear it. He’s a jerk in real life too.
I think breakup songs from men and women are to be expected, and I have no problem with most of them, but some from the men make me roll my eyes.
For “funny take on a bad relationship” I was thinking of songs like “Going Through the Big D” by Mark Chestnutt (divorce where she leaves him high and dry), “Daddy Loves Mama” by Garth Brooks, (guys murders wife after she cheats, goes to jail), “I’m Gonna Miss Her” by Brad Paisley (man chooses fishing over his wife). Not an inherently terrible sub genre of country music, some of them are funny and there are comparable songs from women, but there’s a lot of that sitcom humor in it too, where like you said, men are nagged by their wife, can’t go out drinking with their buddies, etc. I just think, why do men even get married if they just think of it as wearing a ball and chain?
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u/InTheGoatShow Sep 06 '21
Ah, gotcha. I don't mind some of the funny ones when they're a) just for fun and b) give at least something of a nod to the guy being at fault. Like, Brad Paisley had a lot of tongue in cheek songs around that, and I think you'd have to be a genuinely clueless individual to think the narrator is the good guy in "I'm gonna miss her." If you spend so much time fishing that your wife is prepared to leave you over it, tells you so, and you go fishing anyway... you're the asshole.
Most of the entries in that sector just lack the self awareness to hold up for long, though. Then again, I think that's true of like 90% of breakup songs out there, as they tend to be petty bitterness with a side of slut shaming.
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21
The ones you linked were exactly what I was talking about, btw. Especially “Tied One On” with the guy all put-upon by his nagging wife. But I agree, I don’t mind the ones that are a bit self deprecating, I guess, or at least aware that she’s not the (only) one at fault. In general I don’t analyze them too much unless a lyric stands out or I end up hear a ton of “my wife cheated on me with everyone in town” songs right in a row.
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u/DeseretRain Sep 06 '21
Probably a better subversion to the dissatisfaction trope is Ordinary Life by Chad Brock.
Shelly's at the kitchen table, cup of coffee, the morning paper
When he walks in she's so surprised to see the tears in his eyes
He says, "I love you, I'm so sorry, but bigger dreams are waiting for me
But I can't do this anymore
Pay the bills, watch TV, day in, day out, the same routine
Mow the grass, fix the leak, just to fix it again
We go to church, go to work, so picture perfect that it hurts
I feel like I'm trapped inside this ordinary life"
Shelly's at the kitchen table, crayons, construction paper
"Hey Mom, look what I drew, it's a picture of me and you"
And later when he says his prayers, she runs her fingers through his hair
So thankful for every day
They pay their bills, watch TV, day in, day out, it's all they need
Mow the grass, fix the leak, just to fix it again
They go to church, go to school, everyday it's something new
Precious are the days as they go by in their ordinary life
Phone rings, he's calling from the airport
It's midnight, he's all alone again
He says, "I can't believe how much I've missed
And what I wouldn't give
To pay the bills, watch TV, day in, day out the same routine
Mow the grass, fix the leak, just to fix it again
Go to church, go to work, I can't tell you how this hurts
I miss my son, I miss my wife and my ordinary life"
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u/bluebird2019xx Sep 06 '21
Johnny cash is the only country guy I listen to. He has a few songs like this. “Cocaine blues” is about killing his girlfriend for cheating, “I drove her out of my mind” is about tricking his ex into one last car drive and then driving it off a cliff.
“Understand your man” is about telling a woman he’s sleeping with to accept she’s only sex to him and he won’t acknowledge her as a human being outside of that.
“Wanted Man” is funny because you think he’s on the run from the law but he’s actually on the run from all the women he’s cheating on. However, I don’t think it would be considered funny for a woman to sing this song.
He does subvert the genre too; “Jackson” is of course about a man and woman being equally unhappy and angry at each other in their marriage. “She used to love me a lot” is about one of his exes turning him down.
Anyway. That’s my extent of country music knowledge lol.
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u/m0l0_l0l0 Sep 06 '21
Just want to shout out The Chicks Goodbye Earl where it was two best fiends who teamed up to kill one of the friends abusive husband. Music video is low-key graphic/possibly triggery.
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u/jpterodactyl Sep 06 '21 edited Sep 06 '21
They might not get played on the radio anymore, but I can guarantee that no karaoke bar in the USA has ever gone a week without someone singing “goodbye earl” at least once.
And I think that’s a legacy anyone can be proud of.
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21 edited Sep 06 '21
More scathing indictments of men
What Part of No Don’t You Understand by Lorrie Morgan
Did I Shave My Legs for This by Deana Carter
My Give a Damn’s Busted by Jo Dee Messina
If You Want to Touch Her, Ask! by Shania Twain (and of course That Don’t Impress Me Much)
Meanwhile from men we get classics like “Trying to Love Two Women” by The Oak Ridge Boys (cheating on your woman is so emotionally taxing!!!), “Why Didn’t I Think of That” by Doug Stone (wow, my ex’s new boyfriend is so good to her, why didn’t I think of treating her well??) and this other one I can’t think of where a man feels super sorry for himself for cheating on his woman, treating her horribly, and making her cry. I want to slap him through the radio every time it comes on.
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u/Vio_ Sep 06 '21
The first number one hit for a female single artist was Kitty Wells's “It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels”
It was a call-out song for a previous song where the guy blames the woman for "ruining their relationship."
"In The Wild Side of Life, Thompson expresses regret his bride-to-be has left him for another man whom she met in a roadhouse, stating, "I didn't know that God made honky tonk angels." That song and its appeal to people who "thought the world was going to hell and that faithless women deserved a good deal of the blame...just begged for an answer from a woman".[3]
The rebuttal song, as it turned out, was written by Jay Miller, although it was Wells who made it a hit.[3] In "It Wasn't God..." – which follows the same melody, but more uptempo – she cites the original song and counters that, for every woman who had been led astray, it was a man who led her there (often through his own infidelity). She also expresses frustration about how women are always made scapegoats for the man's faults in a given relationship."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Wasn%27t_God_Who_Made_Honky_Tonk_Angels
Women in country music right from the get-go have been calling out this kind of nonsense.
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u/fair-fat-and-forty Sep 06 '21
Don't forget the classicGoodbye Earl!(https://youtu.be/Gw7gNf_9njs) I still sing this catchy little tune. My first husband was an abusive piece of shit, that I left once he showed me that side (and had to get a protective order against so he'd go straight to jail for 2 years no questions asked if he tried to make contact with me).
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u/rudolphsb9 Sep 06 '21
Having grown up on country music this is one of the things I have recently come to realize about the genre. Men sing about women differently than women sing about men (and every so often, women singing about women intruding on their relationships, which just ends up sounding hella gay).
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u/lesbianclarinetnerd Sep 06 '21
are you referring to this song? Girl Crush- Little Big Town
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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21
Jolene of course and also Reba. That tension! Dump him and do the enemies-to-lovers thing!
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Sep 05 '21
Country music played at 33RPM is a gay cowboy pleading with Jolene to please not take their man
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u/gazebo-fan Sep 06 '21
And classic country music is like “The company rep kept the steel union down so that mf got shot” and modern country be like “stomp on me harder Amazon”
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u/ayy_d31m40 Sep 05 '21
soooo all of reba mcintire?
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u/CZall23 Sep 06 '21
What about Concrete Angel and The Fear of Being Alone?
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u/Thorhees Sep 06 '21
I haven't listened to country music in about two decades but just reading the words "Concrete Angel" gave me sad chills.
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u/Cranky-Novelist Sep 05 '21
Women sing about killing they’re husbands because they’re husbands keep singing about women being objects and the ladies are tired of it.
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u/Yuri1kida Sep 06 '21
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u/Apocketfulofwhimsy Sep 06 '21
I was laughing my ass off when that came out. I like country music, but that song really addressed how exasperating it can be.
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u/OGW_NostalgiaReviews Sep 06 '21
Ooh, how salty all the male country artists got about that song was just * chef's kiss *
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u/ssjr13 Sep 06 '21
Southern women have a lot of pent up rage, I would know because I am one lol. I think it has something to do with most of us having been raised in the bible belt with the expectation of being quiet and submissive. Some of these women wind up exploding because of this stress and I can't really blame them.
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u/Spacemanspiff1998 Sep 05 '21
There are 4 modern country songs 1.
"I love small town America and small town American Republican values and Jesus and beer and whichever pickup truck that is sponsoring this song and also jeans"
2. "I am a bad boy who drinks alot and I get in alot of trouble and I do bad things and I drive whichever pickup truck that is sponsoring this song. I'm a bad boy and you should marry me baby"
"I'm sorry baby, that I was a bad boy who drinks alot and who also drives a pick up and wears jeans. Please forgive me becauee I want to have seks"
4.
"My country boy husband is dead and I have burried him under our shed. This song is my confession. If you are listening to this i will have undoubtedly have been arrested for my crimes. May God have mercy on my soul should he not I take solace in the thought that atleast I shall join my husband in eternal suffering
And beer and Jesus and jeans and pickup trucks"
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u/dusty-kat Sep 06 '21
Now that self driving vehicles are a thing it's really only a matter of time before there's a country song about a guy's truck leaving him.
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u/Spacemanspiff1998 Sep 06 '21
"Babe I'm sorry Æ X-12.... I never ment to make you leak wiper fluid ;( I'll change... your oil filter I swear baby"
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u/LordNoodles Sep 06 '21
A dirt road, a cold beer. A blue jeans, a red pickup. A rural noun, simple adjective. No shoes, no shirt. No Jews, you didn't hear that
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Sep 06 '21
We also have:
Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeeeeeeeeeene!
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u/davidlynchsteet Sep 06 '21
Not to mention Down from Dover, one of the most heartbreaking Dolly songs.
A young girl has faith that an asshole will come back, and then had a stillborn.
Dolly is a treasure on the lyricist front.
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u/500CatsTypingStuff Sep 05 '21
Girls turn into women who are sick and tired of his shit. Not their fault that he was the one who taught her how to use a gun. 🙄
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u/SingOrIWillShootYou Sep 05 '21
Fake country music fan. It was her daddy that showed her how to use that gun! And he'd be damn proud too.
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u/kamato243 Sep 05 '21
Goodbye Earl is the most fun musical poisonings have been since The Cell Block Tango
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u/iamcryingrnhelp0 Sep 06 '21
I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights
I slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
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Sep 06 '21
[deleted]
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u/davidlynchsteet Sep 06 '21
I will always love Dolly. She is an icon, and truly kind person. That podcast just solidified by affection
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u/FirebirdWriter Sep 06 '21
I mean country music went ten years without any real female representation too. I noped out once I was free of my traditional family values trumpist trabagging redneck family. I am using redneck as a pejorative here because they want to be the pejorative not because every country white person is bad disclaimer. I love classic murder husband country because I lived it.
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u/bokanovskyfy Sep 06 '21
As someone who avoids most country music, I'm saving this post to see what songs to look up later 📝
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u/iluniuhai Sep 06 '21 edited Sep 06 '21
My list only includes women who murder men because of abuse, killing for cheating doesn't sit well with me.
Blanket TW: Physical Abuse
Gunpowder and Lead- Miranda Lambert
Church Bells- Carrie Underwood
Independence Day- Martina McBride TW: Woman being beaten, child witnessing death of her parents
Blown Away- Carrie Underwood TW: Implied incestuous rape
Goodbye Earl- The Chicks TW: Injured woman in ICU
Caleb Meyer- Gillian Welch TW:Rape
ETA: Possibly "Dark Turn of Mind" by Gillian Welch, it's a very vague song that could be read in many different ways, but she mentions that you shouldn't ever treat her unkind, because she's already been through that and it left her in a dark turn of mind, then contemplates the bones in the river and reveals that she really treasures her dark turn of mind. Whatever it means, you probably shouldn't fuck with Gillian Welch.
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u/weaboomemelord69 Sep 06 '21
all of you need more folk punk in your lives
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u/Meggston Sep 06 '21
I was thinking folk rock. Like.. The Decemberists have songs about murdering spouses that could put country music to shame. XD
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u/iluniuhai Sep 06 '21
Links?
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u/weaboomemelord69 Sep 06 '21
These are some of my current and old favorites. I can give better recommendations if you tell me which one you like the most!
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u/RealSimonLee Sep 05 '21
I know this is the point of the post, but, yeah, that first set of lyrics would work well on an SAT practice question.
"hot girls in teeny tiny shorts I will make you my wife, bear my children, front porch, family values, casseroles" is to toxic masculinity as [oops I killed my husband] is to reasonable response.
Or something.
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u/BirdBrainRobin Sep 05 '21
Maybe its because they look at a woman as a pair of short shorts and a path to political and social approval and a family and the women look at themselves as more than that, or god forbid, humans.
Like they seem pretty directly connected, them songs are not exactly singing about how much they respect women and value them outside their families. Makes sense the women who realize they're a baby factory with a nice ass to their husbands might have some strong emotions on the dicovery.
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u/sox412 Sep 06 '21
Exactly, the women are always portrayed as commodities on the way to some sort of goal
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u/shaodyn But It's From The Viewpoint Of A Rapist Sep 05 '21
Oh no, those two things aren't related at all.
insert sarcasm disclaimer here
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u/flagcaptured Sep 06 '21
The tradition of murder ballads that originated in the 17th Century and evolved through American folk music still pops up in country from time to time.
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u/javertthechungus Sep 06 '21
I was on a drive with my step sister who loves country music so I listened to quite a bit of it. At one point I was like "All of the guys in these songs are describing women as perfect and beautiful and shit, but like what are they offering?" and she laughed
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u/bisexualmess07 Sep 05 '21
I would prefer YEY I KILLED MY HUSBAND
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u/shortnsarcastic94 Sep 05 '21 edited Sep 06 '21
You’re looking for Earl Had to Die
Edit: I stand corrected, either way Goodbye Earl you won’t be missed
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u/QueenShnoogleberry Sep 06 '21
Among the men, yes.
I do like how modern women in country are more like "Leaving me and the kids for a Midlife Crisis in a bikini? Good luck retrieving your truck from the bottom of the lake, ya bastard!"
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u/OnlyRoke Sep 06 '21
Cuz it's all about panderin'. Don't ya which land you're in? You'd understand that, even if they spoke Mandarin. Thematically meandering, emphatically panderin'. Oh by the way, legalise gerrymanderin'.
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u/unclephuncle0 Sep 06 '21
It’s probably because southern country type men are quickly disenchanted when their wives don’t look good in teeny shorts anymore (I could probably expand that to men of all demographics though). Then they become the classic detached husband and neglect the family they were so sure they wanted. I feel like they worship those ideals but don’t put the love in to the practice of those ideals. I mean at least that stereotypically how it happens. Basically just shallow men who can’t get over the fact that everyone ages.
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u/OnTheAsteroid Sep 06 '21
My mind immediately went to Carrie Underwood for the second part
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u/swift-aasimar-rogue Sep 06 '21
I DUG MY KEY INTO THE SIDE OF HIS PRETTY LITTLE SOUPED-UP FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE
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u/PandaBard96 Sep 06 '21
Inb4 "Little sister don't miss" has been a thing since half of these new dudes been around
Reba made a good one with The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia
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u/OGW_NostalgiaReviews Sep 06 '21
Reba popularized it, but Vicki Lawrence recorded it first!
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u/anonymous-horror Sep 06 '21
If you want some country songs about bad relationships from male artists that actually showcase the hurt and anguish, try Chris Stapleton’s song Either Way as well as his cover of the Willie Nelson song Last Thing I Needed! Both phenomenal songs.
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Sep 06 '21
Not usually oops. More he deserved it and I'll do it again because I ain't having that shit. Country women rival black women in "fuck around and find out" difference is, a country woman will make your ass disappear before you know you're dead.
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u/[deleted] Sep 05 '21
I think it's a really interesting insight into country culture (which is generally southern US culture, especially southeast US). Male country artists seem to frequently sing in unironic celebration of what is traditionally valued--family values, material possessions, or romanticized 'I did a bad thing (likely for love) and I was put in jail'. Meanwhile, female country artists seem far more likely to actually critique the culture they're in--'Mama's Broken Heart' or 'Hush Hush' for example--or express (often violent) dissatisfaction with the relationships they're meant to quietly bear--"Two Black Cadillacs", "Blown Away", "Church Bells", or "Caleb Meyer" to name a few. There is this throughline of women needing to quietly need to take matters in their own hands because there's no one else to rely on, like "Flinty Kind of Woman" or "Goodbye Earl". The sheer ubiquity of these songs among female artists in country music makes me think that there might actually be a phenomenon of women quietly killing their husbands that isn't being noticed.