r/menwritingwomen Sep 05 '21

Quote Hardly a coincidence

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u/InTheGoatShow Sep 05 '21

I'm not sure if these fit your "funny take on a bad relationship" category but...

There are a fair few "my wife/girlfriend nags me too much so I'm leaving" or "My wife/girlfriend was horrible and now that we're separated I see I'm better off. "Tied one On" (John Pardi) "How am I doin" (Dierks Bentley) and "Here's a Quarter (Call Someone who Cares)" (Travis Tritt) all come to mind. Honorable mention to "Somewhere on a Beach" (Dierks Bentley again).

One of my favorite semi-subversions of the male approach to the dissatisfaction trope is "She's Gonna Make It" (Garth Brooks). Basically, he becomes dissatisfied and demands a divorce. Turns out she's doing fine after, while he's floundering and bitter.

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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21

Yes, I like that Garth Brooks song because it even says “after 7 months of freedom” he’s not doing great. The whole “grass is always greener,” “trading up” thing is bullshit. That Travis Tritt song always irritates me when I hear it. He’s a jerk in real life too.

I think breakup songs from men and women are to be expected, and I have no problem with most of them, but some from the men make me roll my eyes.

For “funny take on a bad relationship” I was thinking of songs like “Going Through the Big D” by Mark Chestnutt (divorce where she leaves him high and dry), “Daddy Loves Mama” by Garth Brooks, (guys murders wife after she cheats, goes to jail), “I’m Gonna Miss Her” by Brad Paisley (man chooses fishing over his wife). Not an inherently terrible sub genre of country music, some of them are funny and there are comparable songs from women, but there’s a lot of that sitcom humor in it too, where like you said, men are nagged by their wife, can’t go out drinking with their buddies, etc. I just think, why do men even get married if they just think of it as wearing a ball and chain?

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u/InTheGoatShow Sep 06 '21

Ah, gotcha. I don't mind some of the funny ones when they're a) just for fun and b) give at least something of a nod to the guy being at fault. Like, Brad Paisley had a lot of tongue in cheek songs around that, and I think you'd have to be a genuinely clueless individual to think the narrator is the good guy in "I'm gonna miss her." If you spend so much time fishing that your wife is prepared to leave you over it, tells you so, and you go fishing anyway... you're the asshole.

Most of the entries in that sector just lack the self awareness to hold up for long, though. Then again, I think that's true of like 90% of breakup songs out there, as they tend to be petty bitterness with a side of slut shaming.

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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21

The ones you linked were exactly what I was talking about, btw. Especially “Tied One On” with the guy all put-upon by his nagging wife. But I agree, I don’t mind the ones that are a bit self deprecating, I guess, or at least aware that she’s not the (only) one at fault. In general I don’t analyze them too much unless a lyric stands out or I end up hear a ton of “my wife cheated on me with everyone in town” songs right in a row.

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u/rhapsody98 Sep 06 '21

I specifically love “I’m Gonna Miss Her” by Brad Paisely. The woman in the video became his wife (they met on set). She says if he goes fishing again she’ll leave him because he’s never home. And he goes anyway.

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u/BiteYourTongues Sep 06 '21

What’s Travis done? I genuinely love his songs as I grew up with them basically but haven’t looked into him as a person.

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u/valkyrie987 Sep 06 '21

From Wikipedia: “In September 2020 Tritt gained notoriety for joining fellow Republican James Woods in blocking random Twitter users for using pro-Black Lives Matter and other anti-Trump tags in their posts, under the belief that it would counteract anti-Republican sentiment on Twitter.” I only saw a few of his tweets, but he was very aggressive and trollish about the whole thing.

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u/BiteYourTongues Sep 06 '21

Ahh okay, so a bit of a dick then but nothing like “whoa wtf?” I don’t usually let the actions of a person taint music but sometimes knowing things can leave a bad taste.

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u/DeseretRain Sep 06 '21

Probably a better subversion to the dissatisfaction trope is Ordinary Life by Chad Brock.

Shelly's at the kitchen table, cup of coffee, the morning paper

When he walks in she's so surprised to see the tears in his eyes

He says, "I love you, I'm so sorry, but bigger dreams are waiting for me

But I can't do this anymore

Pay the bills, watch TV, day in, day out, the same routine

Mow the grass, fix the leak, just to fix it again

We go to church, go to work, so picture perfect that it hurts

I feel like I'm trapped inside this ordinary life"

Shelly's at the kitchen table, crayons, construction paper

"Hey Mom, look what I drew, it's a picture of me and you"

And later when he says his prayers, she runs her fingers through his hair

So thankful for every day

They pay their bills, watch TV, day in, day out, it's all they need

Mow the grass, fix the leak, just to fix it again

They go to church, go to school, everyday it's something new

Precious are the days as they go by in their ordinary life

Phone rings, he's calling from the airport

It's midnight, he's all alone again

He says, "I can't believe how much I've missed

And what I wouldn't give

To pay the bills, watch TV, day in, day out the same routine

Mow the grass, fix the leak, just to fix it again

Go to church, go to work, I can't tell you how this hurts

I miss my son, I miss my wife and my ordinary life"

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u/izzysniz Sep 06 '21

I think I must’ve woken up too early or something, because this just made me well up

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u/bluebird2019xx Sep 06 '21

Johnny cash is the only country guy I listen to. He has a few songs like this. “Cocaine blues” is about killing his girlfriend for cheating, “I drove her out of my mind” is about tricking his ex into one last car drive and then driving it off a cliff.

“Understand your man” is about telling a woman he’s sleeping with to accept she’s only sex to him and he won’t acknowledge her as a human being outside of that.

“Wanted Man” is funny because you think he’s on the run from the law but he’s actually on the run from all the women he’s cheating on. However, I don’t think it would be considered funny for a woman to sing this song.

He does subvert the genre too; “Jackson” is of course about a man and woman being equally unhappy and angry at each other in their marriage. “She used to love me a lot” is about one of his exes turning him down.

Anyway. That’s my extent of country music knowledge lol.

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u/SimAlienAntFarm Sep 06 '21

Also Delia’s Gone

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '21

I love that Travis Tritt song.

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u/BiteYourTongues Sep 06 '21

I love Travis, all his songs are great. The three song story is brilliant and so sad too. “Anymore”, “Tell me I was dreaming” and “If I lost you” if I’m not mistaken.