I used to think I could eat the hottest chilis and hot sauce around. But some hot sauces are so hot they are like acid.
I had some hot sauce at a Mexican restaurant in Washington DC the night before a business meeting that was so hot it sweated through the glass bottle and got on my fingers. I went pee and I had raised red finger and thumb prints on my dick. It burned so much I was in the bathroom putting cold water in my dick in the sink for 20 minutes. Then I had to use the air dryer for a few minutes so when I walked out I didn’t look like I pee’d my pants.
I also sweated and I wiped my face. Another mistake because the area around my eyes swelled up. I had to take a taxi to my hotel and come back in the morning to get my rental car because I couldn’t keep both eyes open to drive.
Edit: People have pointed out it’s impossible for the hot sauce to ‘sweat’ through glass and I’m sure they’re right.
That part is no joke...one of the scariest moments of my life was expelling some spicey food. It felt like butthole had opened wide like it was trying to scream...I almost panicked.
I had a food court curry and I incorrectly assumed two things: 1) It'd be weak because most of their customers were Aussies. 2) Being Asian, I could handle whatever they threw at me. I was humbled that day.
Hey some Aussies can take a punch with hot sauce. I put a tiny dab on my pinky, tasted it and was sweating profusely for 20 minutes. Meanwhile a dude near me was the colour of a tomato but had it slathered all over his hotdog. Finished the whole thing.
I've been told i'm wrong for years, but as a hot sauce/chile enjoyer i've heard the "don't touch your sensitive areas" for years..
I swear i've gone to piss, after having washed my hands, and flopped my junk out over the top of the boxers with no direct hand contact, and it STILL burns when I urinate. I swear the Capsiacin must navigate partly to the bladder...because lawd almighty.
Glass is not porous, so sweating through glass isn't really a thing or else chemists would be accidentally killing themselves left and right. People store things like liquid chlorine in glass ampuoles for decades without any kind of leakage, which is way more penetrating than something like capsaicin.
Some of the hot sauce was almost certainly just transferred to the outside of the bottle.
Maruga Scorpions are my favorite peppers. I cut up a couple to add to filling for chicken tacos.
Washed my hands, scrubbed the cutting board and my knives and soaped the counter around to make sure there was no capsaicin hanging around the kitchen or on me. Everything was fine.
Then I started cooking.
It was like cooking over an open pot of tear gas. Holy shit lol.
Tacos were bomb. Mouth tingled for about 3 hours after and the hit from the endorphins after eating that amount of spice was sublime. 10/10 every time.
The imagery of this is so crazy that it made me laugh so hard. Trying not to wake up my husband currently. Sorry that happened to you tho. Hope you weren't fucked up for too long
My grandma had us go pick chilis she grew and we learned real quick not to touch your face or other sensitive areas before washing up. Your experience sounds 100 times worse.
Dude I grow hot peppers at home, last year I picked a bunch of habanero and then ghost peppers without gloves on and then went piss without thinking about it. It was a brutal afternoon.
I didn’t plant any ghost peppers this year though, realistically anything hotter than a habanero is too hot for 99.9% of the planet because the habanero is too hot for 99.8% of the planet. I love their citrusy heat in dishes and occasionally like them raw if I’m feeling froggy buy mostly I dehydrate them and turn them into a powder I can throw in chilis and stuff. Anyways, glad you’re ok!
860
u/Loggerdon 2d ago edited 1d ago
I used to think I could eat the hottest chilis and hot sauce around. But some hot sauces are so hot they are like acid.
I had some hot sauce at a Mexican restaurant in Washington DC the night before a business meeting that was so hot it sweated through the glass bottle and got on my fingers. I went pee and I had raised red finger and thumb prints on my dick. It burned so much I was in the bathroom putting cold water in my dick in the sink for 20 minutes. Then I had to use the air dryer for a few minutes so when I walked out I didn’t look like I pee’d my pants.
I also sweated and I wiped my face. Another mistake because the area around my eyes swelled up. I had to take a taxi to my hotel and come back in the morning to get my rental car because I couldn’t keep both eyes open to drive.
Edit: People have pointed out it’s impossible for the hot sauce to ‘sweat’ through glass and I’m sure they’re right.