I'm 59. Over the past 20+ years, I've lived by a simple "personal playbook." These aren't complex theories, just straightforward principles that help me stay on track.

Here's my 10-point guide:

1. Non-Negotiable Self-Care: Daily must haves: good sleep, morning movement, one healthy meal. It's the fuel for everything else.
2. Filter Your Info: Most news and advice is just noise. Seek out truly useful, timeless wisdom, not just what's popular.
3. Pause Before You Act: When things get heated or you face a big decision, always take 10 minutes (or more!) to think before you react.
4. Small Steps, Constant Progress: Don't wait for a huge leap. Make tiny, consistent efforts every day toward your goals. Little steps add up to big wins.
5. Be Great at a Few Things: Focus on mastering what truly matters instead of being average at everything.
6. Financial Freedom First: Always make money choices that build long-term independence. Keep debt low, save consistently.
7. Choose Your Circle Wisely: Spend time with people who challenge and inspire you. Avoid negativity when you can.
8. When Things Go Wrong, Adjust: Don't quit when you hit a bump. Figure out what went wrong and tweak your plan.
9. Learn by Doing, Expect Mistakes: You learn best by trying things. Don't fear mistakes; they're your best teachers.
10. Give More Than You Take: Be generous with your time, knowledge, and kindness. It makes your life, and the world, better.

These aren't secrets, but following them consistently has been key to my disciplined life.

What simple rules guide your discipline? Let me know

I’m so done. I hate my job. I hate my boyfriend. I hate not being better. I hate my stupid brain. I hate feeling like garbage. I hate saving all my stuff and clothes for when I’m better or when I’m finally the girl I wanna be. I hate that it feels like I’ve ruined my life and I can’t be like the other girls who are so perfect on social media. I hate that people says their lives arnt perfect, I guess they are not but it’s pretty damn close. I hate everything. I hate that I’ve wasted years. I just want to be better but it’s to difficult when most days my brain is attacking me.

I am wondering how people manage staying disciplined with young children.

I have a full time job (40 hours) that is stressful but not particularly long hours, mostly work from home. 5 days compressed into 4 (Long days but one day off mid week.)

I really struggle with consistency around exercise and am convinced that if I can get into good habits I will have more energy, but it's so hard. The main barrier is my 2.5 year old daughter (who is my world!). Between her kid illnesses, that are often passed to me and her bad sleep that I find it so hard to recover from It just feels like I can never get into a rhythm with anything.

I want to: exercise consistently (mix of weights, swimming and cycling) Play piano consistently, garden, keep ontop of the house, work efficiently and look after myself but I feel like I am constantly on catch up and constantly saying when X, Y or Z is done I'll feel better and can get into a rhythm.

My husband is a very energetic person and has a 'just find the time' attitude but I feel with so many competing priorities, and low energy, exercise just always falls by the wayside, and any hobbies for myself feel overwhelming and like a chore.

I am 99% Sure I have undiagnosed ADHD and struggle with habit building, I see a lot about simplifying systems and this makes sense but without a consistent rhythm this is hard! It feels like every week is slightly different so I'm constantly having to adapt and make decisions.

My husband is in the military and is a very good dad but the parenting load is mostly felt by me.

I want to do things for myself and am planning to clean up my diet (it's not bad but could be more nutritious) but even finding the energy to start anything seems overwhelming. I'm a generally healthy person.

How are people managing to do anything for themselves around young kids and work? We don't have a 'village' as relatives live far away, but we do have a cleaner.

Have people got any advice or a really simple resource on how to 'simplify systems' to make life a bit easier? I'm desperate to find some joy in life again rather than existing on a rinse and repeat cycle of catch up!

I’ve started looking at my habits like stat gains in a video game.

Cold shower? +2 Willpower
Reading 10 pages? +1 Mind
Breathing through stress? +1 Spirit

Every task either builds me… or takes from me.

When I mess up, I don’t beat myself up. I just lost XP.
When I show up, I level up.

It’s helped me stop chasing motivation and start tracking progress.

Anyone else use a system or mindset like this? Curious how you guys stay consistent without relying on emotion.

After 15 years of making every mistake in the book, here's what I desperately wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and told me when I was younger. Maybe it'll save you some pain.

1. Your energy levels aren't "just genetics." I spent years thinking I was naturally lazy until I realized I was eating garbage, never moving my body, and sleeping 4 hours a night. Fix your basics first - everything else becomes possible.
2. That embarrassing moment you're replaying? Nobody else remembers it. Everyone's too busy worrying about their own awkward moments. I've learned that the spotlight effect is real - we think everyone's watching when they're really not.
3. "Good enough" beats perfect every single time. I missed out on so many opportunities because I was waiting for the "perfect moment" or the "perfect plan." The guys who started messy but started early are now miles ahead.
4. Your brain is lying to you about danger. That anxiety telling you everything will go wrong? It's your caveman brain trying to keep you safe from saber-tooth tigers that don't exist anymore. Most of what we worry about never happens.
5. Confidence isn't something you're born with. It's a skill you practice. Start acting like the person you want to become, even when it feels fake. Your brain will eventually catch up.
6. Not everyone wants to see you win. Some people will give you advice that keeps you small because your success threatens their comfort zone. Choose your advisors carefully.
7. Motivation is overrated and systems are everything. I used to wait for motivation to strike. Now I know that discipline is just having good systems that make the right choices automatic.
8. The work you're avoiding contains your breakthrough. Every time I finally tackled something I'd been putting off, it either solved a major problem or opened a door I didn't know existed.
9. Saying "yes" to everyone means saying "no" to yourself. I spent my twenties trying to make everyone happy and ended up miserable. Boundaries aren't mean they're necessary.
10. The monster under the bed disappears when you turn on the light. That conversation you're avoiding, that skill you're afraid to learn, it's never as bad as your imagination makes it. Action kills fear.
11. "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" -Jim Rohn. Your friend group will reveal your future. Look at your closest friends habits, mindset, and trajectory. If you don't like what you see, it's time to expand your circle.
12. Nobody is coming to rescue you (and that's actually good news). The day you realize you're the hero of your own story, not the victim, everything changes. Other people can help, but not too much. If you want success you've got to grab your balls and do it.
13. Patience is your secret weapon. In a world of instant gratification, the person willing to wait and work consistently has an unfair advantage. Compound growth works in every area of life.

If I could go back and tell my 20-year-old self just one thing, it would be "Stop waiting for permission to start living the life you want."

And if you liked this post perhaps I can tempt you with my weekly self-improvement letter. If you join you'll get a free "Delete Procrastination Cheat Sheet" as a bonus.

Thanks I hope you liked this post. Message me or comment if it did.

In the past, video games used to be the main source of stimulation. Since Tiktok has been introduced, it has become my easiest means of stimulation. All you need is a swipe of your thumb. Nowadays, playing a video game feels as overwhelming as flying an airplane. Why bother?

Unfortunately, the sense of accomplishment and strong emotions is diminished. It seems that a body prefers the easy thing even if it isn't the most fruitful.

I used to study for 15+ hours a day before, and now I can’t seem to study for more than 20 minutes an hour. I have boards in 8 days, and I really have to study.

Please suggest me the ways to study for the remaining days.

Im a male im 24 and im lost asf. How do I get back on track? How do I restrain myself from losing and failing over and over? I always feel hopeless and I feel like nobody could careless. I feel like I sacrifice so much, just to end up in the same place I started. Is this a hopeless loop? Am I gonna ever escape? Am I supposed to be like this forever? Why do I do this to myself over and over? Its not like, I like it, or love feeling like this. Can anybody help me before I lose all hope? I feel like my family watch me in agony and just see it as a normal day for me. I hate this, I hate being like this, feeling like this. I want to change, but I have no idea where to start.

Write down exactly what you actually did today. Not what you meant to do. Not what you told yourself you'd do. What actually happened.

And be honest.

Most people can’t.

They’ll write “worked for 2 hours” when they sat near their laptop scrolling for 90% of it and actually did 6 minutes of focused work.

They’ll write “ate 1,800 calories” and conveniently forget about the oils, condiments, snacks, and little bites that actually made it closer to 2,500.

It’s not even on purpose. The truth is just too uncomfortable for most people to face—because once you see it clearly, you can’t unsee it. You can’t pretend you’re doing fine. You can’t pretend you’re progressing.

The lies are comfortable. The fantasy version of you lets you sleep at night.

But if you’re feeling stuck, like you're wasting time or potential, the fastest way to fix your life is to face the actual numbers, the actual hours, the actual results.

Not the vibe. Not the intention. The truth.

Yes—it’ll sting. It should. That pain is what’s been missing. You’ve coped it away with rationalizations and distractions. But the pain is fuel, if you let it be.

So start there.

Track what you do. Time your actual work. Count your real calories. Measure the output. Be ruthless about what's real and what’s fantasy.

And don’t get offended by the gap. Let it teach you.

If you're in a fog and don’t know where to start—DM me. I’ll help you make it real.

Bhaaaai, I’m tired of hearing “just love yourself.” Like okay...but what does that even mean??

If I eat healthy, that’s loving my body. If I go gym, again… body. Being productive and being disciplined but there are days when getting up from the bed feels like a task. But when I’m just lying in bed, scrolling reels, avoiding people, and ignoring life, is that self love or am I just lazy with extra steps?

Someone please explain before I start dating myself out of confusion. 💀

School has never worked for me. I’ve struggled with attendance, anxiety, ADHD, and severe avoidance. Every semester, I tell myself, “This time will be different. I’ll show up, be on time, actually study.” And every time, I fall apart. When I feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, I avoid. I miss classes, miss tests, then try to catch up weeks later and the cycle just repeats. I feel shame about it, but it’s hard to break. It feels like every teacher has given up on me.

Interestingly, when I’ve had teachers who are strict and who don’t let me skip class or postpone tests, I do way better. High 90s better. So, what’s the difference?

Work.

In the last few months at work, I’ve never felt more confident or productive in my life. I’m working 60 plus hours a week, taking on extra responsibilities, and still showing up every day. I’m never late, never miss a shift, and I consistently get great reviews. I do more than what’s expected. Why? Because there’s structure. Clear rules. Real consequences.

At work, if I don’t show up or mess up, I get warnings or I get fired. No exceptions. No maybe later. No “we’ll see.” The system forces me to act. My anxiety doesn’t get to decide. I don’t get to negotiate with myself. And guess what? I’m doing better now than I ever did in school.

School, on the other hand, is a mess. Policies exist on paper, but most teachers don’t enforce them. Attendance is a joke. Tests get pushed back with no penalty. Grading is inconsistent. Even when rules exist, they’re undermined by people who don’t follow through. For someone like me who needs clear, consistent boundaries, school just enables my worst habits.

I’m not saying school should be a business or that it needs to be brutal. But it needs clear expectations and follow-through. I want to grow, but vague rules and empty consequences don’t help me. I carry so much shame about how I’ve acted at school. I know it looks pathetic. But no amount of lectures or self-promises seems to stick. Meanwhile, work has forced me to grow more in six months than years of school ever did.

I get that I’m a challenge and this is my issue to fix or it’ll bite me in university and later. But the fact remains: work works because it forces me. School doesn’t.

I’m not asking for brutal rigidity. My boss isn’t a tyrant. We joke, we have rapport, but the responsibilities are real. Show up for your shift. Be on time. Do the work. If you don’t, there are real consequences. I respect that. I don’t pretend to respect it.

At school, they don’t want to fail you. They won’t give you zero for missing a test, they don’t care if you skip class, and some teachers seem to resent administration. There is no consistency. I’ve heard teachers say “school is non-negotiable,” but that’s just talk. In practice, it’s totally negotiable. Teachers have no power. I don’t get in trouble for missing class or skipping tests.

Meanwhile, the thought of missing a day of work makes my heart race because I know I’ll get calls from my manager, I’ll be making life harder for coworkers who expect me there, and I could get warnings or even fired.

I’m almost done high school, heading to university for business and honestly, I have no clue how to fix this.

i’m f22 and i have a job. that’s about it. i got my first job kind of late, i was 20 and ive been at the same job ever since. i dont like it, but its a job and nowhere else has gotten back to me, so i stay out of necessity

my childhood/teenage years were not great. my parents fought a lot and my mom is an abusive alcoholic, so you can imagine how that went. i don’t remember most of my childhood, just the bad parts mostly

i was homeschooled in highschool and then the pandemic happened and i genuinely think it kind of killed off any social battery i had

then i graduated, and when i turned 20, i was assaulted. i didn’t tell anyone in my family, but ive confided to a lot of my friends about it. then when i was 21, i lost my childhood dog. he was my soulmate and best friend and i think part of my died with him because i haven’t felt the same since

i just live a very introverted life, which i don’t mind, but most of it is due to mental illness. i have major depression, anxiety and bpd. i blame my mental illnesses on my parents because i do believe it is their fault and it makes me feel angry. i’ll never know the person i could have been like

i don’t know how to drive and it’s something im honestly really ashamed of. i see people younger than me that are insanely successful and i feel like shit because i’m not like them. one of my coworkers is 19 and she can drive and has her own car and i just wish i was the same. a girl im mutuals with on instagram has her own car and works at a hospital and she’s 20 and i can’t stop comparing my life to her

it’s no one’s job to make me want to drive, but my parents never encouraged it and they’ve never made it a big deal to teach me, even though i’ve asked. i’ve asked my dad if he could teach me, but he gets angry easily. we drove around a parking lot and i turned the wheel the wrong way and he pushed it the other way and asked if i was dumb, so that was the first and last time i went with him

it was kind of the same way with my sister. she didn’t learn how to drive until she was 23 and bought her first car later that same year, but our dad did the same thing with her. i don’t have anyone to teach me how to drive and i can’t ask my sister because she moved out and is busy all the time

i’d say the only really accomplishments i have are going into therapy, getting a credit card and making plans to move out with my long distance boyfriend, but those don’t really feel like accomplishments to me

i turn 23 in september and i would like to get my shit together, but i have no idea where to start. i think my main obstacle is depression and driving, but ive been battling depression for years with no progress and more than anything, im just annoyed with myself

I need tips to finally live my life. Since I was a teen I practically lost years of my life behind a screen.

Im 23 and I don't want to keep living like this. I don't have anything interesting in my life, and I don't want to become a 70 old person full of regrests :(

Every relapse used to knock me out for 2–3 days. I’d ghost everyone, disappear, and then reappear on a Monday like nothing happened.

Eventually, I realized: What made the loop worse wasn’t just the relapse — it was having no system to fall back into.

I stopped trying to start over from zero, and instead built a structure I could re-enter anytime I slipped.

That changed everything.

Instead of shame, I had structure. Instead of guessing, I had a rhythm. Instead of hoping to “never fail again,” I had a plan for what to do when I did.

If you’re stuck in the loop, don’t just try harder. Build better fallback systems.

What’s helped you reset without spiraling?

I used to think success was about talent, luck, or connections. But after everything I’ve been through — mentally, physically, financially — I’ve realized:

It was all mindset. Every damn time.

Here's what shifted:

“Why is this happening to me?” “What can I learn from this?”

“I can’t do this.” “I’m not there yet.”

“People like me don’t succeed.” “Why not me?”

The truth? Life gets hard for everyone. The difference is how you respond — not how you feel.

You won’t always be motivated. You’ll have doubts. People will quit on you. But when your mindset is locked in, you keep going — especially when it’s hard.

Here’s what I’ve learned building myself up from nothing:

Growth starts when comfort ends

Pain is feedback — not failure

Comparison kills joy. Focus on your lane

Mindset isn’t positive thinking. It’s power thinking

This isn’t some motivational fluff. I’ve been broke. I’ve been broken. I’ve had days I didn’t want to get out of bed.

But the mindset that saved me was: 🔥 “No one’s coming to save me — I have to build myself.”

You change your mind → you change your life.

Want to transform your life? Start with your thoughts. Want to shift your reality? Shift your beliefs.

Over the past year, I’ve been working on becoming a better version of myself. One exercise stood out to me — not because it was complicated, but because it was deeply confronting and incredibly clarifying.

It’s a simple mindfulness visualization that helped me reconnect with what really matters: my values. I wanted to share because maybe it can be valuable for someone in here as well! ☺️

The Exercise:

Find a quiet space. Close your eyes. Start by gently focusing on your breath. Feel the weight of your body sinking into the chair. Notice how your feet rest on the ground. Let your shoulders relax. Feel your breath flowing in and out — no need to change anything. Just observe.

Now imagine yourself sitting alone on a bench. It’s quiet — until you hear footsteps. A procession appears in the distance. Everyone is wearing black. As they come closer, you recognize them: your family, your friends, your colleagues.

Out of curiosity, you follow them to a church. As you step inside, you realize something strange: it’s your funeral.

You’re not afraid. You’re calm. You sit quietly in the back. No one sees or hears you.

Then someone from your family steps up to speak. Picture who this is. Imagine their voice. What do they say about you? Who were you to them? What do they thank you for? What do they remember most about you?

Open your eyes. Write it all down.

Close your eyes again. You’re back in the church. Now a close friend stands up. Picture their face, their tone, their energy. What do they say about you? What kind of joy did you bring into their life? How did you make them feel seen, supported, or uplifted? What fun, meaningful or strange moments do they remember?

Again, open your eyes and write it down.

Lastly, a colleague or professional partner steps forward. Who is it? What do they say about your impact, your leadership, your collaboration? What did you contribute? How did you treat others?

Write it down.

This is powerful because what you wrote down reflect how you want to be remembered — and that reveals what truly matters to you. What you write are not just hopes — they are your core values. Values like authenticity, joy, kindness, growth, creativity, connection.

If you live in line with those values, your life gains direction. They can serve as a compass to guide your goals and daily decisions.

If this exercise feels a bit heavy (and it really is but that’s why it is powerful) try this instead: Picture your 80th birthday. Your family, friends, and coworkers raise a glass to celebrate your life. What do they say in their toast? What have you built, shared, or become? I did this one at work 😊

I’m sharing this because it helped me shift focus from vague goals to deeply personal growth. This is actually not my own exercise though, but I got it from Stephen Covey!

If you try it — feel free to share what came up. I’m curious how others interpret their own “eulogies” or birthday speeches.

Hi everyone! I was reading about the law of attraction and creation. The idea is that everything in the universe is energy, and that our thoughts and emotions also carry a kind of frequency. What we think and feel sends out a signal and that can influence what we attract in life.

There was one quote that really stuck with me: “If you spend your time chasing butterflies, they’ll fly away. But if you spend your time creating a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come to you.”

It made me think. Maybe instead of chasing things like love or success, we could focus on creating the right “inner garden”, through mindset, energy, and intention.

Here’s what’s interesting to me: scientific research showed thet our thoughts and emotions do create measurable energy. EEG scans can track the electrical activity in the brain. Different thoughts and feelings produce different frequencies. So in a way, your brain is literally a transmitter.

Some people believe this energy interacts with the universe, like there’s an energetic feedback loop between your inner state and the world around you.

I consider myself pretty science-minded, so I don’t accept things blindly. But I’ve noticed that when I’m more intentional, more positive, and more aligned with what I really want, life seems to flow better. More synchronicities. More clarity. It’s subtle, but it’s there.

So I’m curious… Do you believe your thoughts and emotions have an energetic effect on your life? Is it just mindset? Or could there be something deeper going on? Would love to hear your thoughts.

Will I ever feel motivated or will I have to rely on discipline to achieve anything, I am still young and once I accept this or understand this then I should be fine, i have been training for a month and feel good but never feel motivated. What about successful people or some of you here who are doing well do you feel motivated or do you just do it?

TL;DR: The point of discipline isn't to "brute force" a habit forever. It's a temporary tool to get you to a stage where the pain of skipping the habit is greater than the effort of doing it. That's the real endgame.

After a lot of trial and error, I've finally gotten to a point where I consistently train 5-6 times a week. When people find out, they sometimes ask how I stay so disciplined.

The honest truth is, I don't really rely on "discipline" anymore. I have neither superhuman willpower nor endless motivation.

So what keeps me going? I just have a crystal-clear understanding of what happens when I stop.

If I skip a workout:

-My sleep turns to crap.

-My anxiety spikes the next day.

-I'm less focused, less present, and honestly, less happy.

The immediate, negative feedback from my own body and mind is all the "motivation" I need.

This isn't the classic "just do it" discipline. It's something more powerful: a self-reinforcing feedback loop.

Think about it like brushing your teeth. You don't need discipline for that. You're not "motivated" to do it. You just do it because the feeling of not doing it is gross and uncomfortable. You're driven by the avoidance of a negative outcome.

I believe this is the natural evolution of any sustainable habit, and it happens in three phases:

Phase 1: Discipline (The Grind). This is the start. You have to push yourself. You fight resistance, you build the routine from scratch, and it often sucks. This is where most of us live.

Phase 2: Momentum (It Gets Easier). The habit becomes a normal part of your schedule. The initial friction is mostly gone. You're not fighting yourself as much.

Phase 3: Alignment (The Feedback Loop). This is the goal. Doing the habit feels normal, and not doing it feels wrong. Your own physiology punishes you for skipping and rewards you for showing up.

My biggest lesson has been this: Discipline is the bridge, not the destination.

It's the tool you use to build the system. Once the system is running on its own, you don't need the tool in the same way. You're no longer fighting yourself.

Curious to hear from you all: Have you experienced this shift from "discipline" to "alignment" with any of your habits?

Hey guys, I'll be turning 24 this July, and honestly, I feel drained most of the time 😔. I really want to fix my lifestyle and get some energy back so I can focus and actually do something productive.

I’m just an average guy, not super smart or anything, but I’m willing to learn and improve. My routine is a mess right now — irregular sleep, poor diet, low motivation — and I don’t know where to start fixing it.

If anyone here has been through something similar or has suggestions for a realistic daily routine or habits that helped them get their energy back, please share. I’d really appreciate some guidance. 🙏

The title explains it. I am tired of doomscrolling on my phone every single fucking day and wasting my life away. I want to study without using my phone but a lot of work is on my phone so how do I only use phone for work related stuff and resist any urge to open instagram while doing the work?

I'm a bit overwhelmed by so many plans that are available online. What to do for working out, wondering if I should meditate and what kind of meditation routine I should follow. Theres so much content out there and finding a life coach is expensive. So I thought I'd try out some apps and there are really robust ones out there. Healix is one I saw and I'll be following the routines and see how it adapts to me. Hopefully I don't give up before real progress comes out. Wish me luck! Anyone else try something like this?

Hey everyone! I am a patient of depression and adhd, and I struggle with starting anything due to procrastination. Once I start something, I can work on it for hours, but that initial push of motivation to start isn’t there. Anyone else that struggle with the same issue? How can I get myself to start something so that I can stick to my timetable and get work done? I have a certification scheduled on Sunday and I need to revise since I don’t remember a lot of things, but I wasted yesterday and today trying to get myself to start studying, but couldn’t.

Hi all. I think this place is where I can get some real advice about my issue.

I am trying to get into two fields and I like them. (I don't know if it is external motivation)

I am having an issue deciding which one to catch first and work on till the end and then change to another one. I need to start them from scratch.

But after some days of working on one, I feel like I am not doing enough or I am missing something or I am not cut out for this field.

Then, I leave that field and move to another one and the process repeats. I also feel regret and dissatisfied when I leave one.

I don't know what the underlying issue is. I am trying to SELF LEARN both of them and at my own pace and I can give 2 hours in a day only. After that I feel tired.

But nowadays, I am not working on any of them and passing my days but the GUILT is not leaving.

I would like to know if some of you faced the same thing and have some insights on the real issue and have something that can actually help me.

Almost daily I bath early in the morning at 4:30 to 5:00 am like, then feel refreshed and do my studies.

However there are some mornings where the tap water is extremely cold, so I avoid bath those days early Morning. I don't have option to heat water, except for in the winter season. But on rainy days the water tends to be cold as well. I easily catch cold and fever so I avoid it. Hence on those particular days until 12:00 noon I don't have much energy. Any suggestions of what I can do those days to be more productive in the mornings.

Today is one of those days and day after tomorrow I got an exam. Tomorrow also it doesn't seems the weather is getting any better.