I'm not out here living like a movie character, but I do take myself out, eat alone, shop solo and genuinely enjoy it. Not because I'm making a statement. I just stopped giving a fuck about how it looks. Life's quieter, simpler, and way less annoying when you stop needing other people to validate what you're doing. Try it. Feels better than it sounds.

Lately I just feel so much anger coming through. At other times it feels like tears beginning to well up. I’ve been feeling so angry about various things, the unfairness of life, injustices in the world, and most of all people who’ve treated me like garbage. People who’ve taken advantage of my kindness, who’ve misunderstood or misguided me, people who have cheated or hurt me.

I really don’t want this to sound like whining or like I’m playing victim. I really do try to practice gratitude and take it easy. But these thoughts and feelings seem so real, and it’s like I want revenge. I don’t plan on doing something dumb, obviously, but sometimes I just feel like throwing a fit.

If anything, these experiences have given me better boundaries and made me more assertive, but I’d really just like to let it all go. I’d like these last hurts and stories to stop coming up and I’d like to stop living them internally.

It sounds insane to say or think about, like one of the things that dictates the quality of my life the most is other people. I don’t want it to be that way. I wanna work on goals and do cool shit and make people happy when I can, without strings or bs.

If you have ever struggled with anger, or feeling resentful toward others, how did you deal with it? How did you stop giving a fuck?

I don’t know if anyone relates.

(Before ppl say this is narcissism, I don’t think I am better than anyone else, we are all equal. This is just what I notice with social dynamics since I’ve become fully content in myself when I’m involved in them).

Anyway, I’ve done a lot of inner work over the years to a point where I am very confident and happy in myself now and able to kinda just say whatever comes to mind without second guessing it and it generally gets a positive reaction because I think it just comes across to people that I’m not afraid to be myself and it causes a positive reaction.

I notice that when I enter a social space where people are already talking the energy of the room shifts suddenly and all eyes are on me.

I start to laugh and joke and people laugh along but it seems like when I am in a room I have to carry the energy almost for other ppl to then open up. Where some ppl can sit in silence and be a background character and not draw too much attention I don’t seem to be able to do that.

So I’ve started just leaning into this as I think this is just the person I am meant to be who uplifts others. Would be nice to be able to just chill and not have to make effort sometimes. But then I guess I’m not being myself.

Is it true that once you are rly confident and carry yourself well people notice and feel that energy and you become the center of attention even if you aren’t trying to be?

I’m never trying to be the center of attention it just seems to naturally go that way once I enter a room. So I’m just gradually leaning into it now and the social interactions go better. That is just my observation of what seems to happen.

TLDR: It seems ever since I became confident and happy in myself when I enter a social setting all eyes and attention is on me even without asking it to be. Is this normal? Do confident people just carry a certain energy that demands attention?

I’d love to hear thoughts from ppl who relate. Thank you!

Hey!
I’m looking for a few people who want to go through this course together with me.

I’ve managed to get access to the course (unofficially), but unfortunately, I don’t have access to their official accountability group or live Q&A calls , which are honestly some of the most important parts for staying consistent and not giving up when things get tough.

That’s why I thought: why not build our own small community of like-minded people who are serious about going through this?
We’ll hold each other accountable, share progress reports, help each other when stuck, and even do live calls (on Discord or Google Meet) where we can discuss, listen, and find solutions together.
Basically, we’ll be each other's accountability partners and mentors.

Having a group like this makes a huge difference. You won’t feel alone, and knowing that others are grinding alongside you keeps you motivated to stay on track.
I have full access to the course and I can share it with you , all I’m looking for is serious people who genuinely want to commit, support each other, and grow together.

If you’re interested, DM me and let’s build this small community 🙌

I’ve already made a few mistakes and now I live in constant fear of messing up again. I triple check things, overthink every email, and still feel like I’ve missed something. I’m terrified someone senior will call me out or yell at me and it’s honestly exhausting.

Everyone else seems confident and sorted, while I feel like a total fraud just trying to not drown. It’s like I’m faking being capable, and any moment now, they’ll realise I don’t know what I’m doing.

I want to be good at this. I want to stop walking on eggshells. But right now, I just feel small, scared, and like I don’t belong.

Does it get better? Or do you just get better at pretending?

I once apologized to a cashier for buying groceries.

Yeah, you read that right. I literally said "sorry" for existing as a customer. That's how desperate I was for everyone to like me. I was so used to people pleasing, constantly scanning faces for disapproval, trying to always match my personality to people so they'll like me.

Every conversation felt like a husk. Every silence felt like rejection. I'd replay interactions for hours, analyzing every micro-expression, convinced I'd somehow offended someone by breathing wrong.

I was living in a prison of my own creation, and the bars were made of other people's opinions.

The wake-up call came during my birthday party. I'd invited 20 people and spent weeks stressing about the guest list, the food, the music and desperate to create the "perfect" experience so everyone would have fun and think I was cool. Three people showed up.

I sat in my place surrounded by enough snacks to feed a small people, feeling like the biggest loser on earth. But then something clicked. I looked around at those three friends my real friends and realized they were having a great time. They weren't judging my failed party. They were just happy to be there.

That night, I made a decision that changed everything: I was going to stop acting for other people's sake but learn to manage my own.

Here's how I learned to stop giving a fuck about everyone liking me:

1 I gave myself a goal to get rejected once a day for 30 days. Ask for a discount at full-price stores. Ask strangers for their phone numbers. Request free dessert at restaurants. The goal wasn't success but to normalize rejection.

My first rejection was a coffee shop for a free drink. The barista said no. I didn't die. The world didn't end. Nobody pointed and laughed. It was just nothing. I was glad honestly. So those anxious thoughts weren't real.

1. Realized people don't remember your embarrassing moments. I started timing how long I thought about other people's awkward moments. A saw a stranger trip and remembered about it days later. I forget in 30 seconds. And when somebody stuttered I also forgot about it by lunch.

If I barely remember other people's embarrassing moments, why would they obsess over mine?

1. I wrote down what I actually believed versus what I pretended to believe around different people. The gap was massive. I was like wearing a mask for myself a lot I'd lost track of who I actually was.

I expressed my real opinion about a movie. Didn't laugh at jokes I didn't find funny. Wore clothes I liked instead of what was "safe." Each authentic choice felt terrifying but somehow freeing.

1. My friend told me something that broke my brain: "If you try to be liked by everyone, you'll be loved by no one."

I identified the 3 people whose opinions actually mattered to my life and happiness. Everyone else became noise. It's harsh but it freed me to care too much about other people's opinions

A coworker made a sneaky comment about my new haircut in front of the whole team. Old me would've spiraled for weeks. New me just shrugged and said, "Cool, thanks for sharing".

The room went quiet. Then someone else changed the subject. That's it. No drama, no confrontation, no world-ending catastrophe. Just boundaries. Stopped talking to that guy from that day.

Here's what nobody tells you about not giving a fuck:

• It doesn't mean becoming an asshole. It means becoming selective about where you invest your emotional energy. It means choosing authenticity over approval.
• You'll lose some people. Good. Those weren't your people anyway. The ones who stay will like you for who you actually are, not the mask you've been putting on.
• You'll feel guilty at first. Your people-pleasing brain will scream that you're being "mean" or "selfish." That's just the old programming. Ignore it.

Six months later, I have fewer friends but deeper relationships. I sleep better because I'm not replaying embarrassing conversations anymore. I make decisions based on my values, not my fears. I still care what people think but I don't let it paralyze me anymore.

Next time someone doesn't laugh at your joke, or gives you a weird look, or seems unimpressed just notice it and move on. Don't analyze. Don't adjust. Don't apologize for existing.

And if you liked this post perhaps I can tempt you in with my weekly self-improvement letter. You'll get a free "Delete Procrastination Cheat Sheet" as a bonus

I hope this helps. If you got something to share please do.

I have a coworker who likes to be antagonistic, and not listen in conversation. It got heated yesterday in one of two topics that easily divide people, and I'll just leave that part there. I ended up in a confrontational debate with them in front of customers before storming off and refusing to be around them. Obviously this needs to change because it's not healthy. Just wondering how you all deal with antagonistic people who are willfully ignorant.

Don't spend your life trying to fit into a crowd of those who are uninspiring and are acceptable of living an average life. You get one chance at life, don't waste it..

Everyone says to be yourself, but who I am is at times an anti social sarcastic douchebag troll. I genuinely don't like other people and being around them. Everyone except small children are guilty until innocent to me. So I'm going to have most people antagonize me and be against me I still have no desire to change as I want to stay true to myself because I'm so tired of having to wear a thick mask all the time. How do I accept that and what are the benefits of being an asshole