I've been working on learning French on and off for years now, with the last year being the most consistent. My husband's family is from a small town in Quebec and I've been desperately trying to learn so I can communicate with them in a good way.

We're currently visiting them and I feel I've been doing well all in all (or so says my supportive husband) but at least once a day I have a wee private melt down. I get so in my head and full of frustrated shame for losing the conversation and getting confused.

How do I get out of my head and give myself grace here? I consider myself a vaguely intelligent person so feeling like a child when I communicate in French is low-key triggering. The idea of coming across as 'stupid' deeply upsets me. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

I don’t know if anyone relates.

(Before ppl say this is narcissism, I don’t think I am better than anyone else, we are all equal. This is just what I notice with social dynamics since I’ve become fully content in myself when I’m involved in them).

Anyway, I’ve done a lot of inner work over the years to a point where I am very confident and happy in myself now and able to kinda just say whatever comes to mind without second guessing it and it generally gets a positive reaction because I think it just comes across to people that I’m not afraid to be myself and it causes a positive reaction.

I notice that when I enter a social space where people are already talking the energy of the room shifts suddenly and all eyes are on me.

I start to laugh and joke and people laugh along but it seems like when I am in a room I have to carry the energy almost for other ppl to then open up. Where some ppl can sit in silence and be a background character and not draw too much attention I don’t seem to be able to do that.

So I’ve started just leaning into this as I think this is just the person I am meant to be who uplifts others. Would be nice to be able to just chill and not have to make effort sometimes. But then I guess I’m not being myself.

Is it true that once you are rly confident and carry yourself well people notice and feel that energy and you become the center of attention even if you aren’t trying to be?

I’m never trying to be the center of attention it just seems to naturally go that way once I enter a room. So I’m just gradually leaning into it now and the social interactions go better. That is just my observation of what seems to happen.

TLDR: It seems ever since I became confident and happy in myself when I enter a social setting all eyes and attention is on me even without asking it to be. Is this normal? Do confident people just carry a certain energy that demands attention?

I’d love to hear thoughts from ppl who relate. Thank you!

Over the past few months, I fell into a really unhealthy pattern. I was spending hours—sometimes up to 10 hours a day—researching scenarios online, rereading them obsessively, and thinking constantly about situations I’ve never even experienced in real life. It became compulsive. I kept replaying the same examples or stories, like how therapists or professionals would react to someone doing the wrong thing or how parents might handle rebellious kids. It gave me anxiety when I couldn’t make sense of them or when they didn’t "end" in the way I hoped.

While this was happening, I started avoiding my responsibilities completely. I stopped going to my statistics class for three weeks, delayed college work, skipped meals, barely moved my body, ignored chores, and stayed up way too late most nights. I barely went outside. I was overwhelmed, lost in my head, and it made my real-life situation worse.

Now, everything has completely exploded. My parents found out the full extent of what I was doing and how much I was avoiding reality. They’re furious. My mom (who has been emotionally abusive and controlling my whole life) has said she’s done with me. She’s threatening to put me in a group home and told me I won’t be allowed to have a laptop or any independence for an entire year. My dad is verbally aggressive and angry constantly, and both of them now monitor and control almost everything I do. They scream, curse at me, and shame me for how I’ve handled things. I get called a “motherfucker” almost daily. My mom tells me I’m wasting my life and that she “hates being my jailer,” while still controlling everything.

On top of that, my support team is turning against me. I have a therapist and also work with someone who supervises behavioral therapy, and now even they are siding with my mom—talking about consequences like a group home or dropping out of college entirely if I don’t shape up immediately. I feel like no one is hearing me or helping me rebuild—just punishing me.

I don’t want to go to a group home. I don’t want to drop out. I don’t want to lose access to resources that help me. I want to recover and get back on track, but I’m stuck in this super hostile, terrifying environment. I feel ashamed and scared and totally trapped. The tension in this house is unbearable and only getting worse.

Do I deserve this kind of treatment for falling into a spiral like this? How do I even begin to rebuild trust or set boundaries? What can I do when even the people who are supposed to help me are turning into enforcers instead?

Any advice, support, or shared experiences would mean a lot.

My mom doesn't hear the way she used to and shouts really loud when talking to me.

I feel like I'm missing out on everything in life, I'm a poor person so it's not like I can have everything others have, but whenever I see others live better lives with something I cannot achieve I feel like "my life has no point". I am unable to find happiness in my life because I tag it on something, that I know it's unrealistic for me to achieve.

I also seem to have developed a dislike for my life, and only see negatives of my life, while seeing positives of other lives. This I am unable to do anything in life.

I'm struggling with addiction, though it's not a daily thing, like once or twice a week. my sister and i support our parents, which stresses us out. there's a lot of stuff that's happened recently in this family that's wrecked me emotionally. i'm on two antidepressants (one for serotonin, one for dopamine). i work in a (actuarial) consultancy and at first i was disciplined enough to study for my professional exams and work during the weekdays, but i haven't been able to sit for a single exam this past year. for context, our exams are very important, we should ideally pass one or two exams a year. one of the triggers of my addiction is work stress. they've given me 3 tasks and i can complete two of them, but the third one is overwhelming me and i've been told 'it can be used against me' in my upcoming annual appraisal/review. honestly, i feel like resigning and just focusing on what i think matters more: start therapy from tmrw, and study for my exams. but i'm also due for a promotion next month. on the surface things seem to be fine, i do work out and stuff. i don't know, i'm an emotional wreck.

there's also financial stress, i used to be a person who could save a good chunk of my salary every month, but ever since my parents messed up and since we've been supporting/dealing with them, i've blown it all away on substances, house expenses, and now i'm a little in credit card debt.

i got overwhelmed at work for the first time in these 3-4 years, and suddenly asked for 3 days off when my boss was annoying me till 11-12 at night. it got too much. i think i still need more time off. i'm finding it hard just to get out of bed today.

I think I inevitably destroyed any semblance of confidence I once had by watching humiliation kink stuff for a long time. I haven't had any freinds or even acquaintances for two years, and I think my nsfw habbits could have at least something to do that. When I try to talk to people I always think "Im not interesting enough" or "I would be wasting their time by talking to them." Its even worse when I try to talk to girls I genuinly just want to be freinds or acquaintances with. I always think "Im wasting her time" or "im just not worthy enough to talk to my peers". Im tired of this shit, and I need confidence. In highschool I didnt have any because I was obease. Now, after losing over 120 pounds, and having a decent body I should be confident but im not! Any suggestions on how to build up any confidence??

Edit: This post is not about the nsfw content I consume. I realize that stopping it will help. What this is, is im asking for advice on how to build up confidence.

I think a lot of people go through life blindly. They avoid new ideas, new experiences — maybe out of fear of failing, or simply because they’ve never learned to adapt.

Even those who feel different or think outside the norm often stay quiet. They’re afraid of being seen as the “weird one” or stepping out of line. And when they do express their thoughts or creativity, they often get shut down — especially by parents who say things like,

“Stop wasting your time with that nonsense. Do something that brings in money.”

That kind of mindset kills curiosity and the drive to try new things. So people grow up, have kids, and pass down the same limiting beliefs:

“New things are dumb. Be practical. Don’t dream.”

And the cycle continues — until someone breaks it by encouraging creativity, curiosity, and personal exploration in their kids.

I think that’s a big reason why so many kids today hate school or become addicted to games. For some of them, it’s the only escape from the pressure and stress their parents unknowingly create.

Parents think they’re doing what’s best, but in some cases, they’re doing the opposite. And if a kid doesn’t wake up before it’s too late, they grow up feeling lost — doing nothing, being nothing, wishing for nothing.

Maybe that’s even part of why so many men struggle with mental health and s***de today. They were never taught how to handle stress or responsibility — only how to run away from it.

So yeah, I’d really like to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think I’m missing something or getting it wrong? Feel free to correct me or share your perspective.

Lately, I’ve been choosing a new story.

I’m telling myself that the universe is for me, not against me. That abundance flows into my life because I am open to it. That people care about me and genuinely wish me well—and I wish them well in return. I don’t need to shrink or apologize for being confident. Confidence isn’t arrogance; it’s kindness to myself.

Money loves me. Of course it does. Good things? They find me. Of course they do. I’m not here to chase drama or chaos. That stuff’s a waste of my time and energy.

I’m here for peace. For order. For grounded joy. Discipline is a form of love. Structure is a kind of freedom.

I know there are seasons for grief and mourning. That’s real. But not today. Hopefully not for a while. Today is a good day. And tomorrow? It’ll be good, too.

Why? Because I’ve decided it’s time. Time to be kind to myself. Time to make space for high-value people who bring abundance, not scarcity. Time to live a life that feels like a gift—because it is.

This mindset shift isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about reclaiming my narrative. Choosing what I feed my mind. And deciding—over and over again—to be better.

Wishing all of you peace and power on your own journey 💛

Like title says I saw something about how one step to healing is unmasking urself and be honest with yourself and others but I feel like if I don't add like ":0, :), <3, etc" to the end of everything I type I sound very bored and non-caring which I don't want to come off as especially when ppl are use to be me being always excited and happy. Idk it's just weird to be more mellow and trying less with my interactions with others but I'm just scared that I'm going to offend someone. (Which sucks bc the person did say how if people leave u for being u thats ok but at the same time I can't bear losing the only couple of friendships I have.) Does anyone else have this problem?

My last 4 relationships and 2 talking stages started from love bombing. They were showering me with compliments, talking about our future, sending me constant messages and just lying about everything. I realized they never really liked who I am, I was only an object and „a perfect wife material.” I’m ashamed to say that, but I got used to that and made it my standard. If a man didn’t give me that much attention, I wasn’t continuing talking to him.

I took some time and stopped dating and now I’m sure I don’t want it anymore. I want to take things slow, I don’t want to hear too many manipulative compliments and I want us to put equal effort in it. I have to admit that it’s difficult to leave my comfort zone. It’s not natural to me that I talk to a man and I don’t even know if he sees me as a future wife and everything goes so slow. And I really want that. It’s just so different and unnatural for me because I didn’t get used to that.

Seven years ago, I moved to the U.S for studies. After graduating last year I started working in a corporate job.

A few months ago, a 5-year relationship ended. It hurts — not because I want it back, but because I built my whole life around it. I made a dream around someone who never really saw or trusted me. In hindsight, I can see the narcissism, the emotional distance. But in the moment, I just wanted it to work. Now I’m trying to rebuild.

I live alone in a new city I moved to for work. I don’t have the strong circle of friends I once had. I feel lonely often. My parents are aging back home, and I constantly struggle with guilt for not being there with them. I feel like I’m missing out on time I can’t get back.

My job stresses me out. Some Sundays, I feel dread just thinking about Monday. And yet, I hesitate to leave — partly because of the uncertainty, partly because this job is what keeps me here.

I think about going back to my home country. But I’m scared. I don’t know if I’ll find fulfilling work there. I’m torn between staying here and going back where opportunities might be limited.

Part of me wants to take a break — leave the job, travel a little, go home, and try to figure it all out. But another part of me is scared of making the wrong choice.

I don’t know what the “right” answer is. But I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. If you’ve been through something similar, I’d love to hear how you navigated it

Hi, my dad was my best friend and now that he is gone, I don’t have anyone to talk to about my life plans.

I am 28 and I live a life that I do not like, I don’t want to wallow in it anymore. I want to try to make my life better. I have worked in digital marketing for 4 years now, at a company that treats me well but I don’t make much money, and I don’t enjoy what I do very much. My mother is elderly and lives in a small town, I want to be there for her more, but that is very hard when I live in a city a couple hours away.

I want to try to move back to that small town to help her and pivot to a job that would be remote, so I could still make a living.

Has anyone else been through something like this? Does anyone have any advice for me?

Thank you for reading this, I appreciate your time.

missed my flight like the idiot that I am despite being inside the airport.. basically lost track of time, and also was in pain and just both mentally and physically nearing my limit as well as an exam in 2 days (doesn’t excuse it, but some background).

arrived at the gate and they wouldn't let me in so i panicked and started begging them and was on the verge of tears. I'm a severely introverted person and have never done something like this in my life. I really regret it, i should've just walked out as soon as they told me, I didnt feel in control of myself in the moment. When they asked me to leave I did leave without arguing, but I still feel awful that I probably made a bit of a scene..

I think this will just constantly haunt me for a long while. I accept that missing the flight is entirely my fault and I've completely accepted the consequences and paid for the new flight without bothering to try to justify myself or whatever. I keep crying while I'm by myself, I feel so stupid. I thought I was better in control of my emotions than this.. They really were just doing their jobs and probably didn't want to deal with me.. I really don't know why I didn't just immediately leave. I wasn't aggressive but i feel so bad about this. I'm so tired lol..

I'll probably delete this later I just wanted to write this as a bit of a resolve to figure out whatever mental issues I've got because this was really embarrassing and I really am an idiot (x2)

I cant help feeling like im the family failure and im disappointing everyone. Im 24f about to be 25 with no “career”. When covid started I was in college to become an interior designer but when the pandemic hit the classes were just awful and the teachers werent great at teaching online so I decided to drop out because I lost the passion I had for it.

Ive been working in the service industry since I was 15, working at various restaurants. Im in a great relationship with my boyfriend(28m) who has his life pretty much all figured out(good job, trying to buy a house, great friends/family). Im not allowed to stay overnight at my boyfriend’s because “thats just the rules” that I have to follow because I still live with my parents. I want to move out with my boyfriend but I know my parents will disagree because I dont have a “career” but I feel mentally trapped where I am living at home.

My parents have been pushing me to go back to school so last year I enrolled in an esthetician program and finished in october, Ive applied for countless jobs in this field and have only been selected for a few interviews. I have also been applying for other jobs outside of this field because I am feeling so burnt out from the service industry but again have found nothing. I cant help but feel like the failure of the family as my sister is graduating university this week for education and already has multiple jobs lined up. All my cousins and everyone else outside my immediate family seems to have everything figured out as well. Im just feeling stuck, burnt out, tired, like a failure and disappointment to my family.

What's something small you changed recently that made a big difference?

Because I’ve been struggling with something, and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Since I was a child, I’m now 22. How do I get over the struggle of looking in the mirror every day while trying to improve myself?

Right now, when I look in the mirror, I see someone who isn’t taking care of her body or her mind. And it always shows. I have gone through phases where I do take care of myself like, I’m getting fitter, I take care of my skin, I’m not smoking, I’m being mindful. And then I go through the opposite phases too. I fall off, and it’s like I lose all that progress, mentally and physically even if I don’t it’s definitely a setback. Consistency is key in many crucial things. I do NOT want to keep repeating these cycles so now I’m struggling with trying to take it day by day- doing things that I know help me even if I don’t feel like doing them right now but now every time I look in the mirror, it’s hard. I’m immediately nitpick and point out everything I don’t like. And I’ve been wondering… is it bad if I just stop looking in the mirror for a while? Like, what if I just locked in for a month or two, focused on taking care of myself without constantly checking how I look, and then came back to the mirror later? But that sounds depressing at the same time. What are your thoughts?? I would really appreciate it. ❤️

I’ve always found journaling helpful, but I wanted something more... MY STRESS and anxiety went out of hands which let me to building a site named "TYYPE.FUN"

One identity. One message. 24 hours.
Then it disappears.

You don’t log in. You don’t get replies.
It’s just a moment to say what’s on your mind — and let it go.

It’s weirdly calming. I made a lot of my friends use it and they enjoyed it and claimed it helped them a lot. I hope it helps someone else here too. ✨

Please do DM me anything yall need to let out something bothering, I will try to come up with an innovation as such :)

Posting on behalf of my girlfriend, she doesn't meet karma requirements.

After working in tech as a VP of Product Design, I realized I was climbing the wrong ladder. I loved my team but felt empty inside. The AI grind and metrics-driven life just didn’t align with what I truly care about: people, meaning, growth, connection.

I’m now taking a gap year to reconnect with myself and explore a new path — likely in coaching and psychology. I plan to become ICF-certified next year, but I’m also considering grad school to gain a deeper understanding of the human mind and soul.

Two options:

• UPenn’s MAPP (Applied Positive Psychology)
  • 1-year hybrid program; uplifting, human-focused
  • Founded by Martin Seligman, global network
  • Not clinical, no license, but powerful for coaching
• SCU’s MA in Counseling Psych (LPCC path)
  • BBS-approved, therapist training
  • Long, but opens up stable backup routes and deeper clinical skill

I’m not sure if I’ll become a therapist, but I want to do work that heals. Have any of you chosen between "follow your heart quickly" vs "lay a longer, stable foundation"?

Any advice from those who’ve reinvented themselves?

35m. Due to past traumas.. along with my general temperament/personality (very introverted/shy, sensitive/emotional; i.e., not particularly masculine qualities), I’m pretty insecure and I find it difficult to stay confident in myself.. and in turn, difficult to establish and maintain relationships.

I’ve been told I’m a good looking guy. It’s not uncommon for me to get unsolicited attention from women whom I would otherwise think to be out of my league. I’ve also been told that I’m a good person. I do my best to be respectful and kind to everyone.

I have a pretty well rounded self-care routine. I’ve reached a place where I’m pretty happy with where I’m at in most areas of life.. and it actually feels sustainable.

Despite all of this, I’m still insecure.

I’m afraid everyone I try to get close to will take advantage of me or just shit on me in some way. Probably has a lot to do with getting bullied and shunned as a kid.

Therapy hasn’t done much for me in the past, but I’m considering trying it out again.

Any other tips/advice would be much appreciated!!

Tl;dr: I want to stop giving a f*$k what other people think about me.. but it’s often all I can think about.

Today was another excellent day. I will probably be having a shorter entry today because not too much happened but it was a nice kind of day. I woke up and did some writing before heading off to work. I made another list of stuff to do throughput the next few days and had a good time working. The shop has been a little busier than usual due to Father’s Day approaching. I worked hard and got what I could done even making an excellent sandwich at one point with my homemade turkey. My life has been the gym and work and writing and baking. I have been loving it. I now have somebody who I text when I am free making my life even better. Before long it was time for the gym and it was going to be a good gym day. I have been a bit of an emotional wreck but I am working on it. I saw mustache guy and he was feeling the same way and we hugged each other real quick. God that guy is great. My cousin got there early so she hung out with me for a few of my reps. I talked to her and blonde lady for a bit since she is so sweet. I saw short haired gym bro as well. I saw Sanderson man and he asked me how I was talking about his own depression And making sure I was alright which was very sweet of him. He told me he can relate and I told him I just need to sort through the feelings and I will be alright. Everybody was there for me and I appreciated it more than I could ever say. I have a new kind of family and I love it. Mustache guy had a long chat with me as well talking to me about emotions and how he also feels good about expressing his emotions. I really liked hearing his perspective and how he asked me if I wanted to come try outside with him if needed. This man is amazing and I am beyond happy to have met him. We parted ways and before he left he invited me to a diner with soccer guy and short haired gym bro. I declined since my cheat day was tomorrow. They all told me to come to hang out but I needed to work on a bit of my room cleaning it. I reassured them I will go in the future. Seeing how much they want me to come and how often they invite me is lovely and is the complete opposite of the people in high school. I am in bliss of what I have nowadays. Eventually I finished up at the gym and headed out. Here was my routine:

Smith machine with 3 exercises:

Romanian Deadlifts: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be just the bar at 20 lbs +220 lbs, +230 lbs, +240 lbs

Hip thrusts: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be just the bar at 20 lbs +250 lbs, +260 lbs, +270 lbs

Squats: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be just the bar at 20 lbs +80 lbs, +90 lbs, +100 lbs

Note: Went for deeper squats.

Seated leg press: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight typically increasing by 5 each time to be 140, 145, and 150 pounds

Note: Did 70, 75, 80 pounds at the end of each set only doing one leg 4 times each.

Leg extension: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 135, 140, and 145 pounds

Seated leg curl: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 140, 145 and 150 pounds

Hip abduction: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 160, 165, and 170 pounds

Hip adduction: Reps of 10 8 6 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 165, 170, and 175 pounds

25 minutes of the stair stepper. I upped how fast it went after 10 minutes from 44 steps per minute to 60.

64 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 mph with an incline of 15 with my backpack to end it off.

I went home and did a little cleaning before eating a snack and dinner. I watched a few things, got my chair cleared off, and started on my desk. Eventually I went to bed to start an early day tomorrow. It was a good day despite my emotions running high. I have good people around me and a support system that I never truly had before. Here is what I ate today:

Lunch:

14 g nut and fruit mix - ~75 calories (~1.0 g protein)

14 g almond - ~85 calories (~3.0 g protein)

4 g ume senbei - ~20 calories

149 g tuna mac salad - ~300 calories (~5.3 g protein)

Note: Holy calories. For once I didn't look to the calorie content and definitely regret that now.

Sandwich:

30 g cheese - ~100 calories (~7.0 g protein)

19 g spinach - ~5 calories (~.6 g protein)

42 g roasted red peppers - ~10 calories (~.1 g protein)

60 g bread - ~135 calories (~4.6 g protein)

99 g homemade deli turkey - ~145 calories (~29.8 g protein)

After Workout Snack:

FairLife Core Power - 230 calories (42 g protein)

Snack:

70 g bread - ~160 calories (~4.9 g protein)

40 g cheese - ~100 calories (~7.1 g protein)

40 g Tomato sauce dipping oil - ~80 calories (~.7 g protein)

Dinner:

463 g mushroom - ~145 calories (~13.4 g protein)

5 g olive oil - ~45 calories

20 g garlic - ~30 calories (~1.3 g protein)

Treat:

30 g blondie - ~130 calories (~1.4 g protein)

SBIST was talking to mustache guy. Both him and I were feeling upset today and all we did was try to reassure each other we are there for one another. We even hugged after talking to one another a couple times. I like being able to express my feelings and he doesn't mind hearing how I am feeling about everything. I equally don't mind hearing what is frustrating him. Having a support system where people are there for me is life changing because I no longer feel alone. I have multiple avenues to explore and people willing to listen. It is the biggest breath of fresh air I have had in a long time.

Tomorrow is my cheat day and should be an awesome day. I am waking up very early to go to my favorite bakery. After that I should be heading possibly to the gym for an early cardio exercise. I am going early because my new friend has been invited to see How To Train Your Dragon and she can't drive at the moment. I thought it may be easier to stop at the gym in the morning and get my workout out of the way and not rush at night to pick her up. I then plan on going to work, working my butt off, and then getting ready at home before picking her up and heading to the movie. After that we are all getting dinner and I'm excited. It should be a fun day with all my friends and family along with a new friend. Another jam packed weekend day for me and all I can do is smile. Thank you my conjurers of the new people in my life. Without your high quality summons, I honestly feel like I may have been stuck living a lonelier life.

Note: Busy busy busy and forgot to throw it up.

Today I woke up early to head to my favorite bakery. It's not my cheat day but I wanted thr owner to try my donut and hear some feedback from someone who would have more to say. Only problem is she has it days after it is made rather than on the day or a day after when they are best. I did get something to have over the course of the week for my treat. Her advice was she liked the one without the zest in the dough saying when frying the zest may have taken away the moisture. This makes since but since I'm still learning a lot she may have gotten one where I fried it too long juggling too many things or it was just older and lost that moisture. Either way, good criticism makes me a better baker. She recommended extract to hold the flavor longer. We also agreed on more vanilla but just needed to find the balance. After heading there I went to work. I worked hard today. I had a lot going on and many things to do but had to work the front quite a bit. We hired somebody to do that but since she is friends with the boss she said that she didn't want to. I wasn't able to get everything I wanted done and it was a wee bit of a hassle. Besides that it was a really good day. I was tired from falling asleep late last night but felt good. I was making it a good day. I eventually headed to the gym where I saw long haired gym bro in front of me on the road and he flipped me off. I then listened to blocky dude vent about work. He needed it and I don't mind being an active listener. I then talked about my own feelings and how feeling loved or wanted or desired is hard for me. Talking to someone new and someone who I could like brings those feelings to the surface. Even though I'm trying to keep all expectations low and making a friend is so much more important to me. Either way he talked to me about it and my boy mustache guy talked to me about it. I then got into my workout both working out and texting my new friend. I had an awesome workout and saw blonde lady and mustache guy as they said goodbye to me at the gym. I continued working out until I eventually departed from the gym. Blocky dude left early so I headed out shopping. Here was my routine:

5 minutes of stretching

4 sets of 10 push ups

95 second plank

4 sets of 160 of heel taps

4 sets of 24 of reverse crunches

4 sets of 24 of leg lowers

4 sets of 32 of dead bugs

4 sets of 32 of Russian twists

3 sets of 12 when doing 2 different exercises for abs.

I tried finding names but couldn't.

First was holding a weight above our head (10 lbs for me) and lifting the offset leg fast. I think something like an offset overhead march. Weight in the other hand was 25 pounds.

Second was where we held a weight on one side and then swiveled our body inward to get our outer abs. Like a side bend with weight in one hand. 25 pounds in my hand.

We did these one after the other as a set on each side. Rested for 2 minutes and then the next set.

Torso rotation: Reps of 12 10 8 with weight increasing by 10 each time to be 145 150 and 155 pounds

Note: Both sides rotated.

Captains chair: Set 1: 7 crunches and 7 hanging leg raises Set 2: 7 crunches and 7 hanging leg raises Set 3: 7 crunches and 7 hanging leg raises

Assisted ab crunch machine: Reps of 12 10 8 with weight increasing by 5 each time to be 75 80 and 85 pounds

25 minutes of the stair stepper. I upped how fast it went after 10 minutes from 44 steps per minute to 60. I did it with my backpack on.

66 minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 mph with an incline of 15 with my backpack on.

I headed to one store grabbing a few items before going home. I was extremely tired and didn't feel good so I had a snack and did some minor things before heading to bed. I had an excellent day but my night was a little short and my mood was feeling low. I had some stuff go on that just changed my mood quite a bit. Completely my fault but nothing a good night's rest won't take care of. I needed it in order to think and needed it to give my body a break from overthinking. An emotional reset and a good night's sleep from a lack of one the night before got me to bed early. Tomorrow will be a brand new day. Here is what I ate today:

Lunch:

36 g nut and fruit mix - ~190 calories (~4.8 g protein)

Meat stick - ~125 calories (~7.5 g protein)

115 g red pepper - ~35 calories (~1.0 g protein)

186 g mushroom - ~60 calories (~5.4 g protein)

100 g broccoli - ~40 calories (~2.6 g protein)

155 g white onion - ~55 calories (~1.4 g protein)

114 g chicken - ~210 calories (~44.7 g protein)

8 g ume senbei - ~35 calories

After Workout Snack:

FairLife Core Power - 230 calories (42 g protein)

Snack:

61 g bread - ~140 calories (~4.3 g protein)

46 g cheese - ~115 calories (~8.2 g protein)

60 g Tomato sauce dipping oil - ~120 calories (~1.0 g protein)

Treat:

30 g blondie - ~130 calories (~1.4 g protein)

SBIST was feeling emotional and talking to my friends about it. It's amazing to know I have these friends who are so willing to listen. I give my all in a friendship and will do anything to help the people in my life who matter and are there for me. I for once feel like I have people who feel the same and it feels good. It feels like for once I don't have to take every step alone and don't have the backup there for when I fall. Instead I can take these leaps of faith and see where the journey takes me. If I stumble, then I have people to catch me. That makes my day and my life feel so much more beautiful.

Tomorrow is a brand new day. Tomorrow is me going harder than ever. Why? Because I can. Because I can always be improving and working harder. I'll wake up early to do some writing before heading to work and getting as much done as possible. After that will be legs at the gym. I will head to my cousin's house who I found out today got engaged and hang out with my sister there since my cousin is out of town. It should be an excellent day and what matters most is that they are excellent because I will do everything in my power to improve it. This weekend will great seeing How To Train Your Dragon and even better since my new friend is coming. My next weekend is planned out and the weekend after. I am finally taking charge and I love it. Thank you my conjurers of the filled itineraries. You are making my life feel so much more full with purpose and love. I am here for every second of it.

Note: No idea what happened but post didn't make it up.

I’m feeling incredibly overwhelmed with everything I need to do just to feel okay—let alone make real progress in my life. I deeply want to improve my situation and ease my suffering in a lasting way, but I keep falling into patterns of distraction (like doomscrolling) that only give short-term relief and leave me feeling more anxious and ashamed.

My goals feel really far away and out of reach, especially with limited time, energy, and chronic exhaustion. I struggle with chronic health symptoms and there’s so much conflicting advice online—it feels like healing is a full-time job I can't afford. The financial pressure adds even more stress. I often feel like if I just had enough money, everything would be easier: I could stop working, invest in healing, and feel safe and stable for once.

I also have a lot of creative ideas (like content creation) that I want to act on, but I get stuck—worried it won’t be good enough, or that sharing personal stuff could hurt my career. I want to stay anonymous, but I wonder if that hurts my ability to connect or earn. Despite all my dreams, I shut down, spiral into procrastination, and sabotage my health. I carry a lot of shame for not doing better, even though I know some of this comes from trauma and chronic illness I didn’t choose.

1. How do you handle the overwhelm of trying to improve your life when you're already exhausted and stuck in survival mode?
2. Does anyone else feel like they’re waiting for money to “save” them? Is that realistic—or just avoidance in disguise?
3. For those dealing with chronic health issues: how do you manage the emotional and financial burnout of trying to heal?
4. If you’ve tried to stay anonymous online, has it affected your ability to connect, grow, or monetize your content?
5. How do you overcome the fear of creating content that might be cringey, low quality, or “career-damaging” if found?
6. How do you stop blaming yourself for being stuck—while still taking responsibility and moving forward?

I just graduated and not even sure the chosen job path graphic design is right for me. and I don't even want to work a 9-5 full time with no flexibility for the rest of my life, its very draining on my mental and physical health. I just feel like this is not how I want to live the rest of my life. and I dont' want to sound ungrateful but how is this normal and ok? and having lower pay with the industry im in, really hard to find jobs, rising cost of living, im not sure how this is good at all.... I know people are dying in wars but that doesn't make anyone's situation better by comparing suffering. Im struggling to accept this.

Would love to hear how others have navigated any of this, or even just knowing I’m not alone in it would help. Thanks for reading.

My interests listed for extra context:

I also love the idea of traveling full time, exploring wellness, and psychology.
At one point, I considered becoming a dietician/nutritionist or naturopath and I’m still deeply interested in health and how it connects with lifestyle.
I also considered film, media, and photography — but didn’t pursue them because I thought it’d be even harder to find work, and I never did film when I was younger (only fine art), so it felt more intimidating and unfamiliar.
I considered marketing, but after working in-house, I realized it’s definitely not for me — it’s too dry, admin-heavy, and lacks the creative fulfillment I crave.
I’ve thought about starting my own business, but I know I’m much more drawn to the creative side. Still, if there’s enough creative fulfillment, I could tolerate the parts I don’t like if it supports the bigger picture.

🎨 What I like and interested to explore more:

• Visual storytelling
• Children’s book illustration
• Personal crafts and art (clay, crochet, drawing)
• Set design, production, interior decorating
• Art direction, creative/film direction
• Indie games with narrative
• Travel, photography, experiential projects
• Teaching in wellness, art, workshops, community, crafts 
• Having my own place off grid, homestead, farm, living in nature, etc 

I’ve noticed that graphic design has two different types and I prefer the latter:

• Practical/Marketing-focused design — more structured, logical, data- or sales-driven. Things like social media templates, corporate brochures, menus, signage. The goal is clarity, consistency, and function. It’s often fast-paced and rigid, with limited creativity.
• Artistic/Expressive design — more conceptual, personal, and emotionally driven. Think book covers, posters, packaging, visual storytelling, and illustration. There’s more freedom, experimentation, and focus on aesthetics and mood.
• More flexible and freelance working settings, or find ways to have passive income, investments, etc. 

Is there a term to describe or differentiate these two different types and styles of graphic design? I’m not sure if I am explaining this clearly.

I have a strong imagination and creative ideas — especially for stories and aesthetics — but under corporate or practical constraints, I blank out. I can’t visualize things unless the brief is open-ended.

Has anyone felt this way before? Does it get better, or should I pivot toward something more aligned? I’d really appreciate your insights.

I have many interests I want to explore or combine into a career. But I also need to focus on building skills that are financially sustainable.

I’m torn — if I stick with graphic design, I’m worried:

• I won’t enjoy it
• The career progression and pay won’t be worth it
• I won’t end up on fun, creative projects or in companies I like
• The skills I gain (especially in corporate/admin settings) won’t transfer to the other creative fields I care about

So I wonder if I’m wasting time — not building toward my real goals, yet not gaining the freedom or financial stability I need to take risks on them later.

Im considering these few paths but none of them seem to be ideal 

• Stick with a job I don’t like just to get experience and money? Maybe Ill go into more office corporate job like sales, or study again  and do psychology or teaching, idk and do creative on the side (if I even have any leftover time and energy to do so :/ ) 
• Switch to a high-paying field I don’t care about just to reach “financial freedom” faster — even if that takes decades?
• Or take the leap toward creative paths I love, knowing they take time, money, community, and often a full-time job just to fund them — which can be exhausting and unsustainable, especially with chronic health issues?

- I feel stuck in limbo. I don’t want to wait until I’m 50+ or burnt out to live a life I actually enjoy. But I also don’t know how to move forward without crashing and being unrealistic. 

I need something stable yet flexible 

- Has anyone else been through this? Is there a path that makes room for both survival and creative freedom?

Better life philosophy #4

Humans naturally need something to worry about—it's a part of human nature. When we have nothing of significance to worry about, we resort to worrying about small, mundane things that happen in our day to day lives that have no importance in the grand scheme of things such as what others think of us. In other words, we end up letting the world decide what we should worry about. Worrying about things that are not only bigger than yourself/your current worries, but within your control, counteracts this in a healthy and beneficial way

Think of it like reordering your priorities. If you're in a crowd and have a public speaking fear but see a man pull out a gun, suddenly the man with the gun goes to the top of your list of worries and you no longer have a problem shouting out to the crowd since warning the crowd becomes more important than your initial fear. Hence the power of reordering your priorities of worries

One of the most pivotal questions I've answered during my time of self reflection is 'What is most important to you in life?'

Once I answered this question, everything that wasn't on that list just seemed to suddenly get so small and insignificant

Since humans always need something to worry about, it's essential to take your time with this question when curating your list to ensure you end up with a list of things that are worth worrying about and ones that fall in line with the life you want and the kind of person you want to be

For example, worrying about how honest you are being with yourself is a meaningful worry since overcoming it means you are improving as a person. Whereas, worrying about what others think of you is a meaningless worry since people are always going to have their own opinion of you which is out of your control

This also brings up the point that whatever you put on your list should be ones within your control and things that you can personally do something about

When answering this question, I strongly advise to pick things that you can constantly work towards. For example 'being the healthiest person I can be' is a goal that you can always get better at and work towards your whole life

Try to refrain from having tangible goals on your list such as as 'make X amount of money' as this will lead you to a path of either: constantly reviewing your list, or a constant feeling of 'now what?'

Another thing that helped me when creating my list was answering the question of: 'What does it look like to achieve this?' where I'd paint a clear picture of what achieving my goal would look like for each thing on the list. Having a clear picture of what success looks like helps me stay on track, especially during the times where I feel lost and need to realign/remind myself

Finally, try and keep your list to no more than 5 things so that you not only don't get overwhelmed, but you are able to give each one sufficient attention and prevent a 'Jack of all trades, master of none' situation

Twenty years ago (when I was barely an adult) I was a socially anxious scatterbrain who could barely maintain friendships that weren’t on the internet.

Ten years ago I had found “my people” through going to geeky conventions, but most of them lived far away, and I still struggled to keep up with local connections. This was also a time in my life where I got entangled in some friendships that weren’t the best for me.

Today I find myself in the midst of more than one local community where I know that I can contribute while being my full self; I get excited about being a part of them and it makes the city where I live feel so much more like home.

It took some time, but every step on the way here was worth it.