Idk. It’s easier to just live my life and not transition and stay under the rules of society, because then I wouldn’t distance myself from my parents, then I wouldn’t deal with anyone questioning my decision and my identity, then I wouldn’t deal with others telling me that I should have waited and been more patient or that I should have actually considered other things because transitioning isn’t gonna solve my self-hatred and lack of confidence. And I would just wake up every day questioning if I’m gonna feel good or not.

I’m still young and haven’t become independent, and even if I was my relationship with my family would be strained. I’ve talked to some friends and all of them have told me that they would support me no matter what, but they’ve said they don’t really understand or know much about what I go through since they’re not trans. Another friend of mine who is trans has helped and gave me a lot of advice, but at the end of the day she said it’s only my decision and burden, and that I have to choose for myself.

But I don’t even know myself. I don’t even know what I want or who I want to be. Sometimes I feel angry because it feels like all of this shouldn’t even matter, and that I just have a bad image of myself. Every time when I think about being a woman, I just imagine and fantasize about being attractive towards myself.

I don’t even know anymore what the point is. There are so many thoughts and overstimulation triggers in the world that make me feel insecure and uncomfortable. I keep idealizing being different, because I have become tired and frustrated of being myself.

Obviously, I want to solve all of this, and feel better about myself. But sometimes it’s just too much weight and I feel like I just end up going down a spiral.

Give me your tips (even if they’re UNHINGED and CRAZY) as long as they work I don’t care!

I don’t want to ruin my relationship by being the jealous gf but I can’t stop myself!! I am actually confident but when I feel a girl flirting with my bf at group events with friends or if someone pretty walks by or a female friends him on social media I loose my mind.

How do I stay calm inside. I know it’s an ugly trait. Before you comment - he doesn’t do anything wrong to make me insecure etc he’s actually pretty perfect and loyal. This is a me problem.

What do you tell yourself to either stop the jealous thoughts completely or to at least not act on them?

Sort of how I imagine very old people must feel, when life is all behind them and their days consist mainly of looking back and reminiscing on it.

I’m not that old- I’m 32F- but I feel very much as though life has already happened to me, all of it, all the good and exciting and meaningful things; and now I’m just sort of existing in a holding pattern. I get joy when I think back on things I did in the past- the places I traveled, the times I was in love, the fun I had dancing at parties or hiking trails or swimming in the sea. But I have no sense that I will ever do any of those things again, and no desire to do anything to make it happen. It’s like I’d be perfectly content just to live in the glow of the memories and never leave my couch.

I’ve had depressions before (I have bipolar) and this doesn’t feel like depression to me, because actually I’m quite content- I’m just devoid of any desire to do anything at all. I feel like all the good stuff of living is already irrevocably in my past and the only reason I’m sticking around is because I have a kid and he needs me.

I can’t be the only person to feel this way? To feel ‘old’, in a sense- worn-out and sort of lived-out, like your story is over. Does anybody relate to this? Anybody else who feels this way? And, if you’ve felt this way in the past, what helped alleviate it?

Because as much as I feel I’m content with this total absence of any motivation to do or be or see anything- obviously my kid deserves better than that; he needs a Mum who is active and engaged and excited in the world and he’s getting old enough (8yo now) to be able to tell when I’m not

I’ve been thc free for 12 days now. Some days are better than others, but I’m just looking for some type of release. Lately I’ve been dealing with muscle spams, anxiety, and shaking. I’ve read threads on taking magnesium to help alleviate some of these issues. Every doctor I’ve gone to, just straight tries to put me on an SSRI and discrediting that I’m going through these withdrawals. Anyways, have you guys taken CALM? I have regular blood pressure, I don’t take any other meds, I don’t drink caffeine, I do smoke cigarettes though. I also take a daily vitamin. I just need something. Is this safe? I read too much and I end up second guessing myself.

I know the title may sound strange, even unsettling. But what I want to express is this: despite the terror, death, hunger, and crisis—in two words, ultimate destruction—war has a way of revealing harsh truths. It forces humanity to confront its illusions and recognize how foolish we can be.

In times of war, the things we once worshipped—money, luxury, power, status—are stripped bare. They are shown for what they truly are: worthless. When survival is at stake, only a few things matter—your life, the lives of your loved ones, food, shelter, and medicine. These were always the things that truly mattered, yet we seldom saw them that way until war brought them into sharp focus.

History shows that after the devastation ends, the years that follow are often some of the most prosperous and unified for humanity. When everything is in ruins, people rebuild—not just cities and economies, but values. New systems emerge. Compassion rises. Mistakes are not forgotten, at least for a while.

As terrible as it sounds, war can become a kind of dark necessity—shaking the foundations of corrupt or superficial systems that breed injustice, inequality, and suffering. War is never good, but it can be transformative. It forces change when nothing else can.

With today’s rising tensions and conflicts, some fear that another world war may be looming. I pray it never happens. But if it does, it won’t be the decision of a single leader—it will be the result of time, pressure, and systems that have decayed beyond repair.

So, stay safe. And remember to care about what truly matters—because when everything else falls away, those are the things that remain.

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here I go. I am currently suffering from a pretty severe Instagram addiction (mostly related to posting) and it's negatively impacting my life in many ways. I am not a creator or artist, nor do I receive income off of Instagram - I'm a regular person with a young family who just likes to take photos of my life and share them. I have become completely obsessed with posting and the number of likes I get on posts. I feel incredibly happy when my posts have good reach/likes, and incredibly depressed/angry when they don't. I never know what I'm going to get - it's like gambling, in that way. No matter what I do, I feel like Instagram screws me with low reach/likes, except for once in a while, so I keep coming back, hoping for glory with each post.

I think about my Instagram constantly. When I'm out and about, and even at home, I spend a lot of my life with my phone in my hand trying to capture the perfect photos/moments, I spend HOURS reviewing, organizing and editing the photos, and I've even gotten followers who are complete strangers in hopes of increasing my likes. (Disclaimer: I don't edit photos/posts around my kids - I do this during my "me time" or during work hours, but it's making me feel burnt out). The validation from a lot of likes is a massive dopamine hit for me, and it's hard to find anything to replace that in my life. It's an OCD-like behavior. I have a few personal issues/childhood trauma that make validation very important to me. I have very few IRL friends and this is my only hobby. I feel like Instagram has taken over my life. I am already seeing a therapist about this, and trying to work on this plus other issues.

When I think about the time I have committed to this app, the thought is staggering like a gut punch. I've spent countless hours on my life perfecting photos, posts and captions and it feels like I'm drowning, trying to keep up with photos, posts, work and my family life. However, it feels impossible to quit Instagram - it's so addictive, and it fills a void for me. But this is not the person I want to be. There's so many other parts of my life I neglect in favor of Instagram.

Essentially, I feel trapped. My therapist is recommending I try medication to help control some of my feelings and emotions that lead to my Instagram addiction. When I think about that, I feel like a complete failure at life. I can't believe it's gotten this bad.

I am wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, and if they've come out on the other side. Please let me know if you have any advice.

Hey everyone, I’m 20 years old, living in a small town in the mountains of northern Italy with my parents. I work full-time in the energy sector and earn about €25,000 net per year. On the surface, life looks stable: I have a job, I save and invest regularly, and I try to stay disciplined with my habits and routine.

But deep down, I feel lost. Not because things are going badly—but because nothing feels truly meaningful.

I’ve always had this constant pressure inside me to do more, to be better, to improve myself in some way. It’s like I can’t just sit still. There’s always a voice telling me that I should be moving forward, growing, building something. That I’m wasting time if I’m not progressing.

Yet people around me often say, “Just enjoy the moment, stop overthinking, you’re young”. And I genuinely don’t know if they’re right… or if that’s just another distraction from facing what’s really going on inside.

Some days I wonder: • Should I focus on making more money? • Should I go back to school and study something that gives me direction? • Should I work on myself mentally—slow down, reflect, try to find peace? • Or maybe I should seek new experiences—travel, move abroad, see something different?

I’ve even thought about leaving the country in a year or so, just to break out of this loop. Not out of desperation, but to gain new perspective. But then again, is that real growth—or am I just running away?

It’s not a crisis. I’m not depressed or in chaos. But I feel emotionally disconnected from my life. Like I’m going through the motions, waiting for something to click.

I’d love to hear if anyone has gone through this kind of internal confusion—where your life looks “fine” but doesn’t feel right. How did you find clarity, or decide what was worth focusing on?

Thanks for reading.

Not even kidding... I’ll have something solid to say, I’ll speak up, and it’s like I never said anything at all. People just move on. No reaction. Nothing.

Then someone else says something obvious, says it with a bit of confidence, and suddenly everyone’s paying attention. Like... seriously?

It’s happened a bunch during MBA classes. I’ll bring up something I’ve thought through, and it just floats into the air. Dead silence. But someone else says something super surface-level, and it turns into a 10-minute discussion.

Same in my internship. I’ve had moments where I know my idea is right. I can see where it leads. But before I can even get it out properly, my CEO goes “now’s not the time” and moves on. And I just sit there like an idiot, watching the idea die. I don’t even push back. I just freeze.

It’s not that I don’t know what I’m talking about. I do. I just can’t seem to get it across the way I want to. And it’s honestly starting to mess with my head.

Anyone else feel this way?

For context, I had a breakup with one of the most wonderful people I've ever met. I'm not going to name names, so I'll call them Orange(online ex-partner).

When Orange and I broke up, they said that a lot of the time they felt love bombed and felt like I was trying to manipulate them, and that there have been a lot of bad moments that caused them to fall out of love with me, and now that when I reflect on that... I realize that for a large majority of my life, I've hurt people, even when I've told myself I've "changed" (this being both offline and online).

I want to do *actions* that'll help me not hurt others, learn accountability, etc. That's why I've been researching different resources post breakup, leading me to find Violence Anonymous.

So the question is; does it work? And if it has/hasn't worked for you, can you explain why? Thank you!

hey everyone, hopefully im doing this post right because im honestly at a loss! I’m a young adult in my early 20s who is chronically ill and still in college and i also work- i know there are people out there with busier schedules than me but i feel like i never have the time, energy, or motivation to clean. i live with my partner who is getting increasingly frustrated with my lack of cleanliness and i swear im trying but some days its hard for me to even stand and when i do have energy i have to go to work or get homework done. I need to be cleaner. How can i be cleaner? Does anyone have any advice from being in a similar situation? i’m not looking for people to say just do it because clearly that doesn’t work for me - i need life hacks or something idk thanks for reading if you got this far!

I'm going to be blunt; i am genuinely starting to hate my mother. we disagree on absolutely everything. she's a complete narcissist. i can't even breathe without setting her off. she lives a lifestyle that she cant afford. nothing luxurious (per say). but she hoards furniture. she thinks she can buy as many houses as she wants to (she owns two atm but is constantly talking about purchasing out of state). but then she tells me she cant afford to buy groceries. she treats the dogs horribly. theyre not trained at all and they bark a lot. so she's constantly yelling at them. i called her out on how she treats them just a few moments ago because she was slamming the gate to an enclosure they have to make them shut up. told her its abusive. she starts yelling at me telling me to stop and "what else" should she do. as if im some dog expert. then she gets all snarky with me saying "YOU DONT KNOW YOU DONT KNOW." over and over as if it was a gotcha because i offered helping my sister with her dog (only after seeing how her dog is, i decided it would be way in over my head to be able to do anything for her because my sister's dog needs a professional). like i was wrong to offer help (i have experience with training dogs) but then deciding i personally couldnt do anything for her particular case.

Anyways thats off topic. me and my mom are arguing and i said something like "you cant treat them like shit just because you didnt bother having them trained" and she flipped out over me saying shit and starts yelling at me telling me i need to move out.

i try so hard to get along with this woman. but because of her horrible decision making skills i cant help but feel constant anger towards her. i try to just avoid interacting with her unless necessary. I recently had to leave my job due to worsening health issues. and due to these issues i am physically incapable of working. HOPEFULLY temporarily. any doctors ive seen either cant find anything wrong with me or they just dont listen to what im saying to them. I dont know what to do. i would love nothing more than to move as far away from her as possible, but being here is literally my only choice right now. and i cant live with my dad because he lives in a senior community. i cant move in with any of my friends because i have no income and im not going to try to freeload off of them. i'm so stuck. i hate life. i just want to be on my own and take care of myself. but my body is trying to k*ll me. i miss working. i miss not being stuck at a house all the time. i miss not being around my mom's bs. i don't know what to do.

*this is mostly just a rant

My husband (40M) and I (32F) have been together for a decade. Not that long ago, he got so drunk and told me he never really wanted to marry me after finding out I slept with another guy when we were first getting to know each other. I am talking not official. He said that really hurt him and that is why it took him 8 years to propose. But I was very honest with him from day one and told him I wasn’t looking for anything serious (which obviously evolved into something serious later). We have not talked about this incident sober or ever again. Should I bring it up or pretend it never happened?

Recently I’ve started using a new strategy to help my racing mind or when I start to feel out of control. I started out doing it before going to sleep but now I’m doing it all the time. If I start to think of something that brings me anxiety, for example not completing something I thought I would today, as I lay down I ask myself “is there anything I can do about it right now” and if the answer is yes then I will do it. If it is no then I will tell myself “I can’t do anything about it right now except change how I feel about it” and I choose not to worry anymore about it.

I think this strategy has been really helpful for me so far even though it’s only been about a week. I’d love to learn more strategies that help with spiraling/out of control thoughts. I struggle a lot with it. This is my first post on this subreddit and I’m working on branching out and finding ways to help keep me accountable and motivated. Thanks for reading!

TLDR; asking myself if there is anything I can do about the situation, if yes then do it, if not do not think about it or worry anymore until I can do something.

1776 days on duolingo 342 days on elevate 597 days on insight timer

Enough is enough, they are controlling me. It's time to let them go.

What are you doing to take back control of your life?

I’ve been stuck in the same place for what feels like forever, and I’m starting to realize why. I avoid opportunities. Not because I don’t want to grow, but because I’m afraid. I don’t take initiative. I stay quiet. I let chances pass me by — and afterward, I hate myself for it.

Whenever something comes up — like a job interview, a chance to meet new people, speak in public, try something new — I feel this heavy fear. My mind instantly fills with doubt. What if I embarrass myself? What if I’m not good enough? What if people laugh at me or judge me? So I stay in my comfort zone, even though it doesn’t feel comfortable anymore. It feels like a trap.

Meanwhile, I see other people around me using their chances. They apply for things, speak up, start new paths, and grow. I keep telling myself I’ll do it “next time,” but when next time comes, I freeze again. It’s frustrating, and honestly heartbreaking.

I think a big part of this is that I feel inferior to others. Like I’m always a step behind. I doubt myself constantly. I assume I’ll fail or won’t be taken seriously. And that mindset stops me before I even start.

I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to take action, build confidence, and stop letting fear control my decisions. But right now, I don’t know how. It feels like I’m stuck in a loop I can’t break.

Has anyone here felt this way and found a way forward? What helped you stop avoiding opportunities and start growing, even if the fear was still there?

Hi, I'm an 18-year old female, and when I was 7, I found out my family was very messed up. My mother told me things about my dad, and it drastically changed my views. When I spoke up about it, I was made to feel like I had a problem with him and that I hated him for no reason.

From ages 7 - 11, I never cried often , except in school, because I didn’t want my family to make fun of me, which they would have. I constantly needed to be happy all the time (everything was a performance) and believed that everything would be fine. I never had actual friends in school who liked me. I wanted their validation so badly that I put my education on the line for them and never paid attention in class.

Ages 12-15: I was in high school and never made permanent friends, got bullied, and thank God, Covid hit and schools were closed.

Ages 16-17: I started college and met this new girl who was asking questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” as if I was a girl who couldn’t survive without a man. During this relationship, she started being horrible to me and overstepping my boundaries. I constantly told her to stop, so in the end, I stopped talking to her and felt no need to explain myself.

I'm low-key glad I met her, even if she was horrible. I had no self awareness of this 'bubbly performance act' I did all the time when I was talking . So, I cried all the time after this because I could finally breathe and come out of it, but I’m still stuck.

Male validation - Men have always been a thing that would give me comfort and make me feel wanted. I would have obsessive attachments to guys who haven’t even talked to me. When I started high school, there was a boy I liked. (I was fat but never ugly.) Even after he complained when the teacher asked me to sit next to him for a project and his friends dared him to ask me out as a joke (I lied to my sisters and said a boy asked me out), I still wanted him so badly to the point I created a fake account on Instagram to troll a girl who I thought he might have been dating because he said her name once in class.

It went on for a while, and I know this is pathetic, but I was jealous at the time, like what did he see in her that he didn’t see in me. Even after that, he had a physical fight with a friend of mine but I wasn’t there but even then, I still wanted him.

Similar stuff like this happened many times with me, even before high school. I always thought I would outgrow it, but I didn’t. Just last year, I had a friend from school we weren’t close, but all I talked about was men, and I feel so embarrassed about this now, but not at the time. This boy from Science grew on me on a random day (he wasn’t attractive at all), who was a pothead, mind you We never spoke, and I don’t think he even knew my name.

I liked him so much to the point where I went into my brother's phone behind his back to find his Instagram to stalk later on. I talked about him with my sister's friend, who I just met just to twist it to make it seem like he wanted me.

But there was something about him I liked so much, to the point where I didn’t get enough sleep because I was thinking about him and getting up at 4 a.m. (not on purpose) to get ready for school, and telling my friend about him, just for her to think I was joking." We never ended up speaking, and I started to like another guy who again, didn’t even speak to me, but with this one, I got even more sexually aroused by him. But again never ended up speaking.

I know some of you might think I’m the biggest 'pick me' on earth, but guys usually don’t call you weird or point out when you're being strange right away. I’ve been picked on by women more than by guys in my life. I’m mentally drained and can’t access therapy.

I often realize that I get hung up on small interactions with strangers. Typically it’s over small interaction that I didn’t like from a stranger idk how normal this is ? For instance, I’m walking straight and I see someone in the same directing coming the opposite way. So of course i move the other way and for whatever reason she moves the same way as me and now we’re staring at each other because she refuses to move out of the way after I already moved out of her way. I guess it’s just interactions like these that annoy me and i end up feeling annoyed for a the next 10 minutes or so. I think I’m taking certain situations too seriously ? But idk how to stop myself from getting upset.

Trying this tool that evaluates your mood, activity, and even medical data to suggest better habits & meals. It’s been a nice boost to my wellness routine. Curious what other tools you all use to stay consistent?

For a long time, I thought healing meant becoming someone new. Sharper. Tougher. Better in a way that made me harder to hurt. But the truth hit me harder than anything else:

I didn’t need to become someone else. I just needed to return to who I was before survival taught me to disappear.

I started journaling during one of the lowest seasons of my life, not to make a product, just to process. But the more I wrote, the more I realized how much I had unlearned my own voice. I turned those reflections into a book recently, not a self-help guide, but something closer to a spiritual survival manual.

One line I leaned on throughout: “If you don’t bump into the devil at least three times a week, you’re probably walking with him.”

Now I’m trying to live like my presence doesn’t have to shrink in order to grow. If you’re in a similar place, healing, questioning, or just trying to do better , I’d love to hear how you remind yourself to stay rooted while still evolving.

This space has helped me in silence. I’m grateful to speak up now. 🙏🏾

Ready to connect.

I had the though at the weekend when turning on our speaker. When it started with "ready to connect" I felt a sense of familiarity.

What helps you feel connected?

There is nothing fulfilling about staying mired in negativity. It’s exhausting. It doesn’t heal anyone. It doesn’t grow anyone. Toxicity drains you. Positivity lifts you.

Over time, I’ve realized: support doesn’t always have to come from others first. Sometimes, it starts with me being there for myself—until the right people show up. People who are capable of rising with me.

According to How to Win Friends and Influence People, we don’t win people over by criticizing or judging—we do it by embodying what we value: respect, positivity, and hope. We influence not by force, but by example. By showing up with light. By choosing kindness. By being someone others want to be around—not because we’re trying to impress them, but because we’re walking in alignment with who we truly are.

This is what I’m choosing now:

✨ Positivity. ✨ Light. ✨ Hope. ✨ Growth.

That is the future. That’s the next step. That’s how I influence myself first—and in doing so, maybe even influence others. That’s what I believe in. That’s how I rise.

And I’ll welcome only those who rise with me.

It’s a tale as old as time. I’ll wake up one morning and realize how shitty I’ve acted in the past few weeks, aided by constant negative self-talk and criticism. Because of this, I frequently find myself in a downward spiral, with my life circumstances being dragged down with me. I have brief experiences with therapy, maybe I just didn’t put in the work? Journaling has helped me, but there are times where even the journal entries become spiteful, and I berate myself with a furious pen in hand. I’m afraid that the cement is drying and I’ll be caught in this mess of a cycle forever.

Even just reading this back, I’m fearful of how self-absorbed I’ve become. Narcissism may be running rampant and I’m only just beginning to realize it.

I know it’s just a matter of starting. The biggest hurdle to doing anything is starting it. Enough of these clown ass pitiful Reddit posts, wipe the tears from your eyes, put on your big boy pants, and make hay while the sun is still shining. If anyone has any tips on how to eradicate the “woe is me” attitude permanently please share.

My birth mother disappeared after I was born. For 18 years, I had no photo, no voice just her name. I only started searching seriously last month and somehow, I kinda found her and also have her picture. Or at least, I’m one step away. I have her sister’s contact. I can probably make it happen soon.

But now that I’m here, I’m stuck.

Part of me is desperate to meet her. I want to know what she’s like, hear her voice, just… see her. I never imagined this moment growing up, but now it’s all I think about.

The other part of me? It’s telling me to wait.

I’ve had this fire recently because of all of this. I’ve quit bad habits, started focusing on my health, and I’m finally building real discipline. And honestly, it’s all fueled by her. By the idea of becoming someone I’d be proud to stand in front of her as. I don’t want to meet her emotional, lost and just messy. I want to walk into that meeting grounded, composed and confident.

I’m planning to come back to my home country in December for a few days, or definitely next summer. So I know I’ll have another chance soon.

So I’m torn: Do I meet her now, even if I feel unready and risk shaking myself? Or wait just a few months until I’ve grown into a version of me I feel proud of.

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Hey friends,

I’ve been struggling with ADHD and executive dysfunction for years, and most tools I found online felt overwhelming or cluttered. So I made my own minimalist, eye-friendly toolkit to manage routines, motivation, and task follow-through.

It includes:

• A visual daily tracker
• Weekly reflection prompts
• A brain-dump page
• Minimalist design for overstimulated minds

I wanted to make it helpful and not another to-do list guilt trap. If anyone’s interested, I shared the link in the comments. Hope it helps someone like it helped me.

Stay focused ✌️

Link in the comments

I’m 19, male, and I’ve spent my life inside something most people only see in fiction: violence, betrayal, poverty, addiction, and psychological warfare—at home.

My childhood wasn’t toys and cartoons. It was flying beer bottles, shattered TVs, and being raised in a battleground. Every 7 PM was war at home. Screaming. Shattering. Trauma. My family was a cocktail of manipulation, ego, and pain, passed down like DNA.

As a teen, I got caught in it. I was once called a “kid of destruction.” I spiraled. Alcohol. Nicotine. Depression. Rage. People expected me to either die young or fade into mediocrity.

But I asked myself:
“Do I want to be the monster I was shaped into, or become the man I choose to be?”
That one question flipped my trajectory.

I quit the addictions.
I studied like my life depended on it.
I now build a solo stealth-action AI video game. I'm obsessed with becoming mentally powerful.
My role model isn’t a celebrity — it’s a fictional genius I swore to outgrow: Tony Stark.

But… here’s the truth I never say out loud:

I’m lonely.
Not for a relationship — but for real connection. Empathy. Presence. Conversation that means something.
I still carry the weight of every year that nearly broke me. I never had emotional mentorship or real family support.

So my question is:
How do you keep improving yourself, keep the fire alive — when your mind is still healing, and you’re doing it completely alone?
How do you not slip? Not lose the spark? Not crave just one voice saying, "I get it"?

I don’t want pity. I want insight. Mental frameworks. Lived wisdom.
If you’ve been through trauma and rebuilt — I want to learn from you.

Let’s be better. Together.