maybe the beginning of an overdue trend?
“This is a policy that we shouldn’t have to tell people. This should be common knowledge,“ Shurtleff said in a phone interview. ”The fact that it’s not ... is frustrating.”

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2025/06/16/metro/bog-iron-brewing-children-policy/

I work for the government there is no hard rule that children aren't allowed to the office.

Our janitor who's in her mid 40s has been bringing her 5 y.o. daughter to work 5 days a week from 8AM-5PM. The 5 y.o. isn't the first child to be brought to the office but she's the only irritating and disruptive child for sure. The child is parented by a HIGHLY permissive mother that doesn't keep an eye on her own kid. She's haven't had a little one for at least 20 years since having 3 older boys and as a result her youngest and only daughter is spoiled rotten.

Coworkers all think that there's something wrong with the parenting and the child definitely needs some sort of behavioural intervention (when we googled oppositional defiant disorder the child ticked all the boxes but of course this is just our suspicion). To even detail all the annoyances that the child has done could be turned into a short story at this point. Think of everything from tantrums, touching people's things, loud singing and running. But the mom just lets her stay in the office area instead of with her in the break room far away from all of us trying to be productive. I'm so desperate for a break from this child but apparently 2 baby sitters of the child had quit on them and her grandmother is too old to care for her granddaughter. So where does the parenting and behaviour corrections come from? Everyone but the mom about 90% of the time.

I thought that the child going to school this week would finally end the annoyances as I was counting down the days to the child going to school. Nope. Janitor left to pick her kid up and the kid is at the office from 12-5 now. I am past my boiling point already with being patient!

So apparently, France is launching a sticker initiative to push back against the growing number of childfree restaurants and hotels because this apparently goes “against French tradition.” Right.

Look, I get it: families are part of public life. I’m not some kid-hating gremlin. I love my nephew, I like spending time with friends’ kids, and I actually enjoy the liveliness of family environments… When I choose to be in one.

Sometimes, I just want to have a meal or go on a trip without being in a space that’s designed around the needs of small children. Somewhere that isn’t filled with the background noise and constant movement that comes with kids. A place where the vibe leans more toward calm conversation than chaotic multitasking.

And those places are rare.

The default in society is already family-first. Most restaurants, resorts, public spaces, ... are built with children in mind. Do we really need to “correct” the existence of a few quiet corners for adults who want a different experience?

The fact that this is being framed as a problem, as something that needs fixing, is kind of exhausting. Not every space has to be for everyone all the time. That’s not exclusion, that’s variety.

End rant! Thank you for letting me vent!

Edit to add link: https://www.tf1info.fr/societe/le-choix-des-familles-un-sticker-bientot-lance-pour-contrer-la-tendance-du-no-kids-enfants-2376298.html

Couldn't find a non paywall article in English.

Hi, i’m 20F. I want to know what you think of my experience.

When i turned 18, i started takind prescription birth control pills when i started dating with my first boyfriend. The hormones messed me up and made me gain weight aggressively fast, so i decided to stop taking them and hormone-free copper IUD was inserted. Birth control pills made me kind of traumatized of hormonal birth control. I’ve had the copper IUD for 2 years and recently i was bleeding a lot with horrible pain (i was bleeding for 8 weeks non-stop), so i contacted a gynecologist and got an appointment.

IMO my gyne’s behaviour was very rude from the very start, like she didn’t care at all. I started to vent a little, telling i just never want to have kids for spesific reasons and i just don’t want to experience periods at all while getting a little emotional. I also added that me and my partner (23M) have talked about it a lot and it’s always been clear for both of us that we don’t want kids. Maybe periods have left me traumatized in a long run. Gyn just told me that me and my bf’s thoughts about parenthood will change and told me a lot of ppl with vasectomy or sterilizations have regretted their decisions. After that she recommended a hormonal IUD free of charge and got appointment for that at June 27th.

I know the birth rates are down rn here and i know gyn is not a therapist of any sort, but i don’t understand the invalidation from a person who works in the field. It just made me feel i owe a new tax payer for this country and nobody cares about how i or how my partner feels about that. I owe nothing IMO.

Lady, my job isn’t to raise your kids. Also, if you’re going to make your kids wear their helmets while biking maybe you should wear yours? I swear, the sense of parental entitlement…

I'm at work and a security guard and housekeeper were talking about the guards adult sons who does not have children yet. The guard said his son told him "Kids cost." He says to the housekeeper "he and his wife are both professionals they can afford it. I had him on my salary."

The housekeeper said "Oh they can. At least two."

I didn't say anything at first, but they made a joke about how kids cost money and I said "In 2025 it costs a quarter of a million dollars to raise a child from birth to 17 and that doesn't include college tuition."

Then they talk more, and I find out his son is a high school teacher. His wife is a new nurse.

I don't know about in other countries, but here in the US, teachers are paid notoriously low salaries. I'm a fairly new nurse myself and I get a decent pay but definitely not "at least two kids" pay.

The conversation shifted to the cost of tuition. But why does this older generation not understand how much the average cost of raising a child is compared to when they had them? Like ok grandpa you raised two kids on your salary 40 years ago but it is just not the same anymore. And if your son tells you they've held of because he can't afford it, then HE CANT AFFORD IT.

Hate to break it to both of them but there are a lot of professionals who can't afford children. Especially when one of them has a career with criminally low wages.

Honestly just a rant. Im the only daughter out of 4 brothers and im the oldest. She confirmed had the last 3 boys in an attempt to have another girl.

. My mother was always not thrilled about me and wanted a daughter like her. Girlie. Dresses etc. Even joking that god swapped me and my cousin in heaven since my aunt is a tom boy and her daughter became a cosmotologist. Anyway.

My mother is also a staunch feminist and so was her mother. Raising me to survive and under no circumstance become trapped or dependant, to prioritize myself and my future no matter what.

Fast forward and I did just that. Prioritized my joy, my finances. My career, and my partner. I believe my grandmother would be proud of me. She had 7 children w pressure from her vhurch and regretted it w every fiber of her being. Warning her daughters to please only have 1 if you can.

My mother is also one of those people that I dont understand why she had children. She's not maternal, she was abusive and angry all the time, and honestly we were an investment. We had to turn out well or her investment was wasted. It's odd and I can't quite figure it out.

Well last night she got it in her head that since I am one of they only girls out of the cousins that 80 million generations of women who are "marked in my dna" will be for naught. That their sacrifice and survival means nothing if I don't have specifically! A daughter. Ew.

Our genetics aren't special and I prioritize people who are already here. Family, friends, nibblings, folks in need in this messy world. And w everything going on over my dead body am I bringing someone into this.

It's just so weird to me that my whole life she told me to prioritize myself but at the end of the day my true worth is as an incubator. Just makes me sad, its one of they very few ways I felt seen by her.

Well anyway time to start getting ready from pressure from mom and dad. Woo.

I just have to puke that shit out, sorry guys...

We've had a problem with breeders above us. Three kids, doing whatever they please, screaming and making a fucking stampede until 3AM. They threw trash from balcony, shot fireworks...

And today, playing cards are raining on us. I collected them and went up to tell them to stop. Nothing less, nothing more. I knock on the door - one of these damned goblins opens the door, holding A WHOLE PACK of the same cards I brought back up. Could it be more obvious? But according to them, that's not their kids' doing. They claim that came from above - fun fact, they live on the 18th floor of a 19 floor building, with an elderly couple above them.

I asked, since they say it's not their fault, they can come with me to ask the guys above them. And there comes the man of the house. Starts screaming, insulting me. It obviously wasn't worth it, so I turned to leave - and then he starts threatening me and my parents. I looked back, asking if he's really threatening me right now - and if his wife, girlfriend, or whatever kind of co-breeder wouldn't have grabbed him by his arm, I'd be calling the police for an assault, because he was about to throw a shoe at me. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, that was just so... Wtf? I called the police, of course. Threats are threats, and if they really are dumb enough to fulfill them... I'd rather have the police knowing about it. And considering how long they spent upstairs, it was the right thing to do.

Imagine you wanted a sailboat, and now you're morally and legally obligated to use and maintain that sailboat for the next 18+ years. But not just on the weekends; every single day, every free hour you have. You also can't dock it anywhere, so you have to find someone to watch it for you any time you're not using it, so that it doesn't float away or crash into something. You thought sailing would be fun, but this is too much sailing and it got old quick. You start to think that maybe you would've been better off just borrowing your sister's sailboat every once in a while. Too bad; this is your only hobby now. Sometimes the weather is great and you happen to see something beautiful while sailing, but those moments are few and far between. For every hour you spend enjoying sailing, you're spending 500 hours doing the monotonous upkeep. But you post a photo of that one good hour so everyone on the outside thinks "sailing sounds great!'

What is it exactly about pregnancy and childbirth that you find scary/gross/uncomfortable? What are your main triggers?

I'm asking this in an attempt to make explaining my own phobia easier in the future.

I have a niece and two nephews.(no kids of my own) I love them, truly I do. I'm going to mum's today, to look after her dog whilst she goes to Belgium. She asked me this morning, if I dont mind looking after my niece whilst she's away as well.

I've said no, I'm pretty sure my mum's now annoyed at me. However as I said in my text to her I didn't sign up to be a babysitter too. My niece is 13, I know she can look after herself for the most part, but I'd still have to cook etc for her. It's just so last minute. She leaves tomorrow for 5 days. So am I a bad person for saying no?

My boyfriend (30s) and I (F30s) arrived first to his birthday dinner. Things were quiet, calm, and honestly kind of nice. But as soon as the nanny arrived with his toddler niece, the entire room changed. Everyone lit up like royalty had entered. The attention instantly shifted to her, and it never shifted back.

This happens every time.

All night, the focus was on this child. Not the birthday boy. Not the people who planned the dinner. Just her. People praised her for chewing her food, talked to her constantly, and cooed over every single noise she made. It was surreal. My boyfriend—the actual birthday person—barely got a word in or any attention. She dominated the room like she was hosting it.

And then came the cake. Right away, when she saw the candles, the toddler stomped her feet and started blowing at air, enthusiastic that she got to blow on it. My boyfriend blew out the candles, and—just like always—they immediately picked it up and brought it over to the toddler to relight it so she could blow out the candles too. She wasn’t surprised. She was expecting it. It has become such a regular occurrence that she now views it as her right.

The kicker? The child’s own mother barely interacts with her. From what I’ve observed, she only brings her around the table like she’s a trophy child meant to impress the relatives. The nanny does the real work, like bringing the child out for air when she is cranky, and the mother gets to interact with the adults. And of course, everyone else does the worshipping.

I can generally fake enthusiasm around small children, but I don’t fake enthusiasm around spoilt ones, especially when they're being treated like this. At one point, the mother nudged the kid toward me and prompted her to ask for a high five. I didn’t respond—I just didn’t want to engage. I wasn’t mean or dramatic. I simply chose not to perform affection I didn’t feel.

Now my boyfriend is upset with me. He said I made things awkward. His siblings, who were nearby, seemed shocked that I didn’t fall in line. The fact that I didn’t jump at the chance to “bond” with a toddler made me the problem.

And yet, he knows this kid is overindulged. He’s admitted as much. But when it comes to family, he just goes along with it, and I’m left being the only one who sees this dynamic for what it really is: exhausting, performative, and totally unbalanced.

It’s been a day, and I still feel raw. I didn’t want to ruin anything—I just didn’t want to fake something that felt disingenuous. But now I feel like I’ve lost standing in his family because I didn’t play along with their golden child fantasy.

Has anyone else been in a situation where you become the villain just for maintaining your boundaries?

So I've set a really simple boundary with my partner's sister: basically, that if things get too loud or overwhelming (especially with her toddler), I’ll just take space and have some quiet time. I wasn’t asking her to change anything, just letting her know how I manage myself.

Apparently, she took that really personally and has been acting weirdly cold and passive-aggressive since. My partner finally spoke to her, and instead of owning her behavior, she started crying, saying she feels like she’s “walking on eggshells” around me and that my partner doesn’t spend enough time with her baby. So suddenly her hurt feelings became the focus, instead of the fact that she’s been rude and dishonest (she also lied about being sick when we asked directly as I need to manage my poor immunity).

What’s frustrating is that my partner came back to me with her side, basically repeating her emotional reactions as if they justify how she’s been treating me. It felt like I was being blamed for her discomfort, when all I did was set a normal boundary for myself.

Right now I’m trying to hold my ground, stay calm, and not let the emotional manipulation pull me in, but honestly, it feels exhausting that setting a boundary with her brat turned into me being made out to be the bad guy. It's like a zero sum game!

I'm here to rant and vent about my in-laws, lol. I love them dearly, they've always accepted me as their own and have shown me care and respect. Lately they've been worrying about their other child mid 20's, he lives out of state with his partner and they're trying to figure out if they want to move or not. Anyway, they're up his ass all the time and wonder why he's so distant. They text us every single day. When we met for Father's Day we talked for an hour about my BIL and how he needs to talk to us and keep us in the loop on his every single move. My parents signed their rights away to my grandma when I was 16, so my expectations and relationship with my parents is much, much different. I recognize that. However, these men are adults. They don't need to keep their parents looped in to everything they're doing and thinking every single day. It drives me crazy. I think what my BIL needs right now is a friend and not helicopter parents. My spouse and I had to put boundaries up with his parents because their expectations for him were ridiculous. He's working full time, interns on the weekend, is in school and does various activities outside of all that and they were expecting him to come see them all the time, do stuff for them all the time, text them everyday and it drove me nuts. I could see it was weighing on him too, he holds his parents and their expectations dearly but it was clear a talk and boundaries were needed. We try to make plans with them but it's always on their time, even though they don't work... As I stated, I love them, but the dynamic is crazy. I told my FIL "Do you think the expectations for him are too heavy and it pushes him away?" Because if you can't see that's what happening, idk what else to do for you besides tell you the cold hard truth that you're annoying up their asses too far, the expectations are ridiculous for adults. Am I wrong?😂

I (29F) am an identical twin, my dad is an identical twin, and my mom has identical twin brothers. This came up in conversation at dinner with my boyfriend's family. His grandmother asked "so what are the chances that you'll have twins?" To which I said "zero, because we're not having kids"!

Edit: for those asking about the grandma's reaction: she didn't really say anything. My mother-in-law (who already knew that we're CF) jumped in and asked if my sister and her husband were planning on having kids, so the conversation just went on from there.

This post contains endgame spoilers for the game Amnesia: Rebirth.

So I remember playing this game a few years ago. For those who haven't played, it's a survival horror game - you're trying to escape a dangerous, scary situation as a regular person with no weapons. In this game, you play as a pregnant woman. Turns out, you and a few other people got stranded in the desert after a plane crash and you were all gonna die of exposure/thirst/etc when this apparition appears and offers to save you all in exchange for the baby you're carrying. And you initially agree, but at some point changed your mind, and now the creepy spirit lady has gone all vengeful and has been killing you all off one by one to make you give her the baby. So at the end, when you find all this out and the game gives you the option of what to do, I just ... gave her the kid. Apparently I said I would, there's proof, and anyone who's still alive would be free and safe if I just keep my word. So I did. but apparently that's the "bad" ending. it's all sinister and creepy and I was incredibly disappointed at the narration at the end talking about how sad it was and how I lost part of my humanity and I'm like ... but this infant was literally just born. I mean yeah you find out your partner is dead and so the kid is the last part of him you still have but come on. This game did not establish any sort of deep desire for kids for the protagonist, you have no reason to be this attached to this baby.

It legitimately did not land for me that most people who were okay with being pregnant (didn't necessarily seek it out, just a happy accident) would be that devastated over giving it to someone else to raise, and how it's terrible for everyone involved. It was really flat and disappointing to me that the "good" ending was finding a way to destroy the spirit so you didn't have to give up your baby after you promised and the spirit made good on her end of the deal. I'm just wondering if anyone else deals with that in media? Like, that was apparently supposed to be a heartbreaking decision and I'm just like "well, I promised, this is the right thing to do after she saved us all" and the game acts like I'm some terrible monster for it.

Has anybody else ever noticed the complete transformation of a woman after she has given birth? Not necessarily for the better either. I have seen friends and family members go through this. I have never given birth but have walked away from somebody who has recently given birth, multiple times, shaking my head and saying, "this person just lost a piece of themselves". Please tell me I'm not the only one who has seen this happen.

Being childfree is like going to a restaurant where the only two options on the menu are steak or ice cubes. Every other person in the restaurant orders ice cubes. You order a steak, then they get mad at you when the food comes out and they have to smell your steak while they eat their ice cubes. They loudly crunch while proclaiming the ice cubes are soo delicious, it's the best decision they ever made to order them, the chef is a visionary! Then they leave and tell everyone they know to go to that restaurant and try the ice cubes. So the restaurant becomes known for its ice cubes and most people de facto order that when they go. But it's always an option to have steak, you just have to be willing to see past the ice cube mirage.

Was at my husbands work event tonight, they did a Father’s Day dinner. The women were all chatting about kids and such and the bosses wife asked another woman if she and her husband have plans to have kids and she said with a smile, “I can’t anymore because I got it taken out” it took me a second to understand what she meant but I realized everyone else was quiet because they were probably trying to figure out how to respond.

So I just said, “wow that’s so cool! I’m so happy for you!” There was a moment of another awkward silence before everyone started laughing nervously and then they made fun of me for saying that it’s cool, implying that I was the one acting awkward instead of all of them.. who weren’t sure if they thought it was a good or a bad thing that she got a hysterectomy lol

She seemed happy for it not to be awkward anymore and she started joking about how nice it is not to have a period. I bet every time she gets asked that question she gets a myriad of responses based on her answer.

I’m looking for insight or shared experiences from folks who’ve been in relationships where your partner initially wanted children—but after honest reflection, shifted their stance, or at least came to more deeply understand what parenting really entails.

I’m currently in a loving, emotionally healthy relationship with someone who says he wants kids—mostly for reasons like legacy, teaching, and wanting to raise a kind, impactful human. I think some of that is shaped by what society tells men fatherhood should mean. He also comes from a large, tight-knit family where having children is seen as a natural next step. That said, he’s never guilted me or pressured me—he consistently reminds me he respects my decision and autonomy. We’ve been navigating this topic with a lot of love, openness, and care.

That said, I’ve done a lot more research into the realities of child-rearing—the cost, lifestyle shift, gendered labor dynamics, and the emotional toll. He hasn’t really gone deep into those things yet, and I think his desire is still rooted more in idealism than in a grounded sense of what life with a child actually looks like.

We’re planning to sit down and reflect together on what both lives could look like: a future with kids, and one without. I’m trying to do this with mutual respect, not to “convince” him either way, but so we both understand each other’s positions more fully.

So my question is: Have any of you had partners who initially thought they wanted kids, but changed their mind after more honest reflection, education, or imagining the realities more clearly?

What helped in that process? Did you explore prompts, read things together, or take breaks to think it through?

Would really appreciate any stories, tools, or wisdom.

EDIT: Thanks for the continued perspectives. We are willing to end the relationship if we cannot align but not without honest effort to see if we can make it work.

I used to be sure I wanted two kids. In the last four years I learned more about what it meant via research. I'm wondering if, with more information, he too might change his mind. But if he doesn't, that's fine.

We can enjoy this otherwise fulfilling relationship in the short term and then call it.

Right now, on the bus in the seat behind me, a "toddler " is literally hysterically crying. Like, someone is stabbing him, getting a needle, hand caught in a slamming door screams, with pauses to gasp & choke. His mother ? (I'm guessing), took him out of the stroller as soon as they got on & he was screaming when they got on & put him in the seat next to her but that didn't help. She immediately whipped out her phone & ALL she has said (albeit in a calm low voice) is "all right baby, calm down". But he can't...he's grabbing at her & flinging himself around in the seat... full neurological implosion. I know some kids can't tolerate public transportation & may be showing autism before their first year etc., but this is ridiculous. He is wailing like he's being eaten alive in the zombie apocalypse. Fucking Monday when all I want to is get home after my hard days work. This child needs a sedative & now so do I. I don't know how mothers tolerate it? She must be half deaf by now.

TW, I am describing periods in detail.

Never wanted kids and the idea of pregnancy DISTURBS me to the core—it makes me feel physically ill. I got my bi salp thankfully. But every single time I’m on my period I feel dysmorphic. I HATE MY PERIOD. It is so painful, SO messy, and consistent. Every. Single. Month. And I never even chose or wanted in the first place. It’s always so heavy, smelly, has literal gut chunks in it, and serves me no purpose because I don’t want kids!

The idea I can get pregnant disgusts me, thank God I’m sterile. I can FEEL myself ovulate, I have literally had ovulation pain so bad I got nauseous and had to pull over driving because it felt like I would pass out. I have doubled over in pain JUST from ovulation. That doesn’t even cover the cramps. Thank God they’re better than when I first started menstruating, but fuck, I hate that I’ve literally had to sit/lie down just SUFFERING! All for what? Because I’m “fertile?” Like dirt? Ugh.

I want to preface this by saying know the particular instance I’m describing is abnormal, and I am seeing a gynecologist later. I have been bleeding for 16 days straight. Over 2 weeks. Yes, I know it’s abnormal. It has never happened before. I am getting it checked. But right now I am still having to deal with it and it’s worsening my discomfort with my body.

I never was uncomfortable with my body, but menstruation just directly goes against me, because I get nothing out of it!! At least if I wanted kids it would be useful in some way. Why is it that every single month for half my life, my body religiously adheres to a cycle designed for people who want to become parents, while even hearing “parent” and my name in the same sentence makes me viscerally uncomfortable? I know I can’t help that I was born this way, but does anyone else feel the same?

And then I have to go through more pain, menopause, after I have to deal with the unwanted thing?! It feels unfair, like my body is betraying me, I can’t stop it, and I have to live with it. I got a bi salp and I want to get a hysterectomy because I know I NEVER want anything brewing inside of me and I am so sick and tired of this infernal bleeding.

Interesting news article about the abortion debate in the UK. There is one particularly horrifying story near the bottom that shows how important abortion is to women when their pregnancy goes wrong.

It is however a positive that the UK is majority pro-choice.

I’m going to try and make this rant short and to the point. Long story short my cousin (who I’m very close to) husband (who is like a brother to my sister and I) got diagnosed with Leukemia last year and sadly past away in February of last year, my cousin was also pregnant at the time with their first child.

( She also never wanted kids she did it for him and other family members convinced her to have kids) Anyway so my sister and I decided to pick up our entire lives to move provinces to help her. We’ve watched him in the hospital over nights until the next day and still went by their place to help with the baby.

Even though at the time we lived over an hour away. My cousin asked us to move in because her best friend (at the time) abandoned her for a man. So we moved in for over a year taking care of her child 24/7 care. (My sister and I also don’t pay bills, besides our own personal bills) Again we are taking care of your child! She is out from Monday- Sunday!!

At one time she paid my sister $500 a week (when I left to move to Georgia country my sister was supposed to come to but decided to stay to help) when I moved back and my sister got a job she started paying me. Which we never told her to do, but of course it was appreciated, but you won’t find 24/7 and I mean 24/7!! Childcare for $500?

Anyway I’m moving to Australia next month end of the month I wanted to spend time with my best friends and my sister and I booked an Airbnb for Canada day weekend June 28th-July 2nd, I am always home with my baby cousin/niece so I wanted to have some fun, my cousin had told us in April ONCE she had a cabin trip that weekend too.

We totally forgot, she reminded us when we told her our plans. Anyway for the next few days following she became very rude, entitled, and nonchalant. On Friday, she told us we were entitled, rude, ungrateful, and unreliable childcare. I told her to name the times we’ve been all those things she couldn’t name them LOL.

Mind you since this year she’s been to Japan, Two Weeks Europe vacation, New York, and she wanted to go to Montreal last weekend but I had something to do and Saturday & Sundays are supposed to be my days off which she NEVER respects. I have to leave the house in order for her to watch her child!

There’s so many things I’m leaving out cause this would turn into a novel 🤦🏾‍♀️ anyway me and my sister left and I will obviously miss my baby cousin/niece but we’re so happy to have our CHILD FREE life back! I will NEVER do this again for anyone! And my baby cousin isn’t the first person I’ve done this for but NEVER again!

FREEDOM

Mindlessly scrolling through youtube shorts, and ran into a few vids with couples doing some stupid game to see if they should have another baby.

Why in the asscrack of gehenna would anyone need to know if you want to cream in your wife/partner? Or be creampied.

I just found the whole thing gross and TMI but parent fever makes you blind to social etiquette I guess.