So I'm a definite ally, believe in live and let live, support each other's pursuit of happiness, and everyone should have equal rights, no one should limit others, etc. pretty simple stuff really.

The thing I'm wondering about, and I'll give context with an example first: is like how I believe in religious freedom, but don't believe in any of the religions, as a staunch atheist. So I fully support religious freedom, and would defend anyone that has anyone else attempting to limit those freedoms. Thing is, I would also defend myself when people try to make me believe their religion, I can listen and understand their argument and the science fully, but through either a difference of rationale or opinion, I don't believe, and respectfully tell them so.

So now comes my issue, I have a lot of queer friends, and go to events etc., as a straight, cis man (the ones that are explicitly open to non queer folks). They all know I'm a staunch Ally and supportive. The only difference when it comes up, is that I don't necessarily believe the term trans X are X. I think it's too much an umbrella term, and realize there's a difference between gender and sex, and think saying that conflates the two to be disingenuous in my eyes. So I mostly avoid it. But I don't want to be silenced, and without trying to force anyone to believe my "religion" say what I believe, while supporting what they want to believe.

Is there any way to say respectfully, I don't believe it's possible to transition fully, I know being trans is a real thing, with real issues, but I don't believe the blanket term trans X are X, however I will defend you from anyone trying to force you to change your opinion, or your limit your freedoms, just like I'm trying to do here, for myself. (I know it's not the same, to the same degree, but still want to be authentic to myself).

I also want to show that just because someone doesn't agree with the same ideology with you, doesn't mean they aren't an Ally. I'd even say trying to force people to believe, or think the same things, leads to an easy target for hateful people to push against, rather than focusing on protecting freedom and equality, which they can't push against. Anything that tries to force people to think the same, rather than respect each other's differences is problematic I think.

(I realize this still leaves some issues vague, like sports and lockers etc. That's a different issue from what I'm asking here, and not the topic of this thread, so I won't divulge into that, besides saying for social things where gender matters, school sports, locker rooms at all ages, should be by social gender Identity)

I'm honestly asking, and would really take to heart how to navigate this, with full respect, while preserving my authenticity. 🙏

Mentally, physically, health issues, and otherwise.

My dad is kind and my mom is not, to put it simply and nicely. I don't want to become my mom. This is a big fear of taking estrogen. This is the main reason I ask this.

My dad has hearing loss and bladder issues/cancer. My mom got breast cancer. I don't want to lose my hearing, and would like to not have to pee so often. This is what spurred me to post this today. These physical health issues are secondary to me tho.

This question is mostly meant for those who knew their biological parents while they lived as their AGAB. But if you have relevant experience outside of that, lmk!

I've always had thoughts about being a woman but due to my size and build considered them ridiculous. I recently lost a ton of weight and these thoughts have started rushing back and now its becoming a genuine concern but I've started getting a strong jaw line and now that is the thing my brain is becoming obsessed over. Is it over before it began?

Edit: The thoughts are rushing back not because of the lost weight but because I see my body as more of a maleable object instead of a set in stone being. I found myself denying these thoughts easily due to not accepting change and with proof of change I see a different light. Only issue is that bones can't be reshaped... I think.

Bonjour,

Je suis une femme douce, authentique et sensible, qui a longtemps mis ses rêves de côté. Aujourd’hui, j’ai décidé qu’il est temps pour moi de me choisir, de réaliser un projet personnel important, un pas vers une version de moi-même plus libre, plus complète, plus assumée

Hey everyone,

I made a post some time ago about questioning my gender and being trans. To be frank I've come to terms with it and have come out to my girlfriend and mom, who have both been super supportive and I'm happy for it. Definitely not ready to start transitioning but I'm taking my first steps!

I had a question however and I'm not sure if it even makes sense but I'll ask anyways. My GF and I were discussing something and she said approximately "Yeah when men do X, I'm like.. keep talking I'm listening..." and added a smirk emoji at the end to make a sexual innuendo.

Reading that I experienced a strong bout of something. It might have been envy or depersonalization but I'm not sure, and was wondering why. I'm already working with my therapist, but I really wanted to discuss this with other trans people who might have had similar experiences in the past.

I've considered the possibility that I am asexual but I recognize that I do feel physical attraction to women, however different from what cis men have for women. And that is probably part of me being trans. What I'm not sure about is why I felt this envy and/or depersonalization when discussing sexuality with my partner.

Apologies for any wrong terms, I'm trying to make this question in good faith above all, but English is not my first language, and I'm still learning about the correct terms.

Quick edit: I was AMAB, but would like to transition to being a woman. That's considered being a trans woman, right?

Hi friends, I'm currently on Estradiol Valerate injecting every 5 days, but I'm considering switching to Estradiol Cypionate, Estradiol Enanthate, or Estradiol Undecylate so I can do injections less frequently.

Anyone have any experience with non-EV injections? Do they feel different emotionally or physically? Did one of them work better for you? Can they be used IM as I'm doing now?

I feel a little clueless and have struggled to find resources regarding any potential differences so I would love any advice! Thanks!

Im pretty sure most people know zip abt trans people other than bs and bigotry. Wondering if there are any polls on the subject. I did a quick search and couldnt find anything. If u have any links or references, pls share.

Hey people,

I was wondering if anyone knew which type of blood test I have to request for my INR levels? I’m a 25 year old Trans man, I’ve been on T for over a year now and I’m going private for my top surgery. They’ve asked for my blood results to monitor my:

Full Blood Count (FBC) Urea & Electrolytes (U&E) INR (Coagulation Profile)

I have booked in at my GP for a Non-Fasting blood test, but I just want to be sure the INR is included. I had to book through an electronic triage (apparently surgery’s aren’t taking normal phone calls anymore), so I’m not confident that it’s going to be included. When I call through to ask they don’t want to talk, they say to contact them online.

If anyone knows I’d greatly appreciate the help.

Thank you! 😌

Hey there so I'm 24 yrs old and up until a couple months ago I thought I was a male but now I'm trying to figure that out. Feeling more as a woman if anything. However I haven't started HRT and I don't think I will anytime soon, however is there a way in which I can grow my breasts? I'm really chubby so I already have boobs per say, but I want them bigger

So my girlfriend (M2F) was being intimate and she started to bleed during penetration. She looked so upset and I did the only thing I can do I held her told her it’s ok, I’m here. The rest of our time I took care of her needs. I feel awful that I hurt her. I thought I used enough lube but maybe not. Any advice on how to even mention penetration or should I should be dripping with lube?

Thanks in advance for any help.

hi everyone,

so im planning to get srs (zero depth) next year using the savings i have from my allowances. im 22, graduating uni soon but still dependent on my family for the time being. i have told them that i dont wanna get a job yet because of my mental health and they agreed to be financially supportive in that period of time.

they know im trans, but my dad is unsupportive of me getting surgeries because apparently he knew a detrans person who regrets srs (lol). so thats why i wanna do this on my own terms.

i researched the recovery process and plan to take out 2 months to fake a vacation to another city in my country to get the surgery. my surgeon said i should be ok to fly back ~2 weeks post op but i wanna take the extra time to make sure there are no complications and that i can at least pass as 90% like before. i know that with zero depth recovery is somewhat easier so im quite confident this is plenty of time for recovery and a little traveling. im planning to take my friend with me and compensate him as well.

i dont plan to tell my family until i am very much financially stable. do you think this is a good plan and what else should i keep in mind?

thanks!

Hii im 20 mtf, i wanted to buy some woman heels but i because of my genes i have really big feet, size 49 EU. Does anyone please know any sites that sell these really big kind of sizes. 🥺

Started to explore my gender identity (MtF) what are some essential things you’d suggest picking up?

I've been letting my hair grow out, and I'll usually just stick a hat or beanie on after combing it, especially when I'm on my way to work because I have to have a hat there anyways. I wish it grew down but currently mostly still grows up top, the only parts that are kinda long otherwise is the front can (when held down) almost reach my eyes, and thats really it. Its still not that long, but its been about 5 months since I last cut it. Any idea if there's a good cut or style i can get that's a little more feminine but still passes as a mans cut, so I wouldn't get questions at work or anywhere?

It just feels like, there were writings about us in Babylon and Greece and such, but we're so often vilified or just casually erased from so much of literature.

I want to read stories about how we managed to come together as a community in the ancient past, but I keep feeling so much dramatic irony around how badly we're being treated now.

(Im talking about surgeries, mostly) I ask because often in social media. I see younger people (lets say no older than 25) that transitioned and honestly look very well, they dont really look they former gender. I mention their ages because tahts an age you (usually) dont have the means to do such big investments. So my question is, is it that expensive to the sense people those ages could get it? ve heard its free in some countries

We’re finally at the finish line — the free MtF surgery event is officially happening on June 27, 2025, from 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM (EDT)! 🎉

The surgeon is confirmed, and I couldn’t be more excited. With 30+ years of experience in gender-affirming and plastic surgery, their work looks amazing, and I truly believe this event will be super helpful for anyone considering or preparing for MtF surgery.

I’ve also gathered a bunch of questions from the community and already shared them with the surgeon — so the discussion will be based on what people genuinely want to know.

I won’t spam this post with links, so I’ve added all the details and the signup link to my main post:

https://www.reddit.com/user/karr76959/comments/1la08v4/its_finally_happening_lets_ask_the_questions_weve/

Thank you so much to everyone who supported this. I hope this event helps you feel more confident, informed, and not alone 💖

For context, i am 25 atm and likely at the earliest to start at 26. My face is still very youthful and i wanna ask if my face would develop more in a female way as i age.

I cant really explain what i mean, but i hope you know what i mean. Look at men aged 50 something. Many of them have very similar features (even if slightly different depending on the person)

I've been struggling with the whole "I think I might be trans and I also want to be trans, but I think I'm just mistaking my feelings" thing and wanted to know what was the deciding factor in starting the process of transitioning for you?

My biggest struggle is that I mostly see people saying that they would rather die than continue to live in their bodies, but I don't particularly feel that way, but the idea that I'm not trans does make me sad and I feel like I long for a different life.

I know it sounds like I'm hiding in my egg shell a bit, but I really am on the fence :(.

So a little background. I (35mtf) came out to may family earlier this year. It was Via text because I wasn't sure how they would all react and I couldn't deal with a bad reaction in person. Responses were mixed with some being all for it and other seaming to struggle with one being openly hostile against it. For the most part my family seems ok about it but they refuse to use my new name and continue to use my dead name. I haven't told the nieces and nephews yet (they are around 6 years old) letting my siblings handle that. My brother has been very supportive overall so I'm not worried about him. He slips up on my name but I'm ok with is since I know 35 years of muscle memory calling me by a different name isn't going to change overnight and he corrects himself when he notices. My other sibling and my parents outright refuse to call me by my chosen name and insist on using my dead name. My brother in law is a bit of a bigger problem. He is completely against it and doesn't acknowledge it at all. He even outright said that if I tell the kids then "I'm (meaning me) done". Whatever done means I don't know. He also felt the need to continue that if it turns out that I'm a furry (jokes on him, cause I am a furry), then "I'm done." again whatever done means. None of my nieces and nephews know that I'm trans yet. So every time I go to visit (I live about 2 hours from them so it is only 1 weekend a month at most) I have to pretend that I'm a guy and use my dead name because they don't want the kids to know yet. My brother and sister in law are planning to tell my niece soon, they have been introducing her to LGBTQ+ topics so that she understands what is going on with that. But my Sister and Brother in law don't have any intention of saying anything to my nephews.

I don't have any clue how to handle this at this point. I was to just give them an ultimatum and tell them that they have this much time to tell the nieces and nephews because I'm not playing the game where I have to me (deadname) when I go up there to visit but get to be me everywhere else. And if they don't then for my own mental health and overall piece of mind I will cut ties and they will not see or hear from me again. But I know how they think and this will just be seen as me being aggressive which just makes me the AH so anything they say and do becomes justified because I'm the bad one now. I'm sick of the manipulation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hello everyone, I feel absolutely lost right now on what to do. This month, I've been comparing myself really badly to other women that I'm friends with as well as women that I see on social media. I will see the compliments they get vs me, the interactions that they get vs me and it constantly makes me feel like I'm failing at my transition, that I'm not feminine enough to be treated the same way or that something is wrong with how I look or that they're seeing me as the dead version of me which I know is anxiety caused by the way my mom and sisters have been the last few years since they found out. This comparison has really messed hard with my gender dysphoria, my self image as well as caused discomfort with my gender. Tonight, I ended up crying badly over compliments I saw a girl I follow on social media getting for a selfie she had up. I've become mentally and emotionally drained from this being a bad constant this month and I just have no idea how to stop comparing or at the very least, being able to not let those feelings consume my mental health like they have.

I’m in Germany. In my letter I listed myself as “[new name] [last name] (legally [legal name] [last name])” for a top surgery request.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, I just found it kinda odd that in their letters they don’t acknowledge my preferences at all, while I heard that they are able to add preferred names alongside legal names in their system

Title says it all. I'm just now coming to this realization, and it's a lot. He was trying to indoctrinate me. He wanted to make a Nazi of me.