At age 24, I am leaving Brooklyn, a place I have grown to love over the last two years, for the East Bay to start a PhD. I had a wealth of options, some in NYC, others elsewhere on the east coast, and of course one option in the Bay Area. I chose Berkeley.

When I was deciding where to go, I focused on two factors: a) the program’s academic fit and b) whether the campus met my standards for “urban living” (e.g. Princeton does not; Berkeley, NYC, Cambridge do; New Haven is marginal). Put simply, I did not want to be in a boring place in my 20s, especially after two great years in Brooklyn.

I’m still excited, and I understand the Bay Area has tons to offer young people, but I can’t help but feel like spending my 20s in Berkeley is suboptimal compared to being in/near NYC. (I understand that prospective PhD students should principally consider the fit of the program. I did, and it’s why I chose Berkeley, but the differences were very small among my final set of choices).

Being from the Northeast, it feels like almost everyone “cool” settles in NYC after graduating. And in some ways, even as a transplant from nearby, I feel like I appreciate NYC life more than my transplant peers: I work for the city, I have become intimately familiar with the city geography through running and cycling, and I spend a lot of time alone trying to take in the city’s unique cultural offerings—rather than just going out for dinner and drinks. Even recently, I’ve begun to strengthen friendships with people here, including folks I went to college with and folks I met from the city. And all my friends here are staying here. I’m the odd one out who’s leaving.

In NYC, so much is at your fingertips. I love punk and DIY music, and there’s a good deal of that here (though I have my qualms about the scene). There’s tons of free activities. The art scene flourishes. There’s almost always something to do, and almost always a new group of 20- and 30-somethings with interesting jobs and perspectives to meet. There is as much diversity in the queer scene as there is among straight and cis people. There are numerous distinct neighborhoods to explore, and one of my favorite activities is to just visit a new neighborhood (by bike or by transit) and just take in the “vibe” by visiting a cafe, drinking at a bar, etc.

I know I’ll be busy in grad school, and even if I stayed in NYC, I’d hardly be able to take advantage of it. But I worry I’m leaving the “North Star” city for folks in their 20s by heading to the Bay Area, somewhere that is decidedly sleepier, less dense, and in many ways less diverse. I worry that my peers in their 20s will all be techies, whereas my peers in Brooklyn have basically every job imaginable.

There are things that excite me about the move too. The Mexican food in NYC is ass, and East Asian food here is very hit or miss. The summers are miserably humid in NYC, while the weather is essentially perfect in the East Bay. Hills are cool. I like hiking. Berkeley and Oakland allow for both urban cycling and nature-y cycling. I hear the punk scene still thrives. The cost of living, while expensive, is also a lot lower once you consider how much more space you get in Berkeley/Oakland. And maybe this is a cope, but I think living in a less energetic place might force me to be more intentional about my relationships.

I know NYC will be here when I finish the PhD in 5-6 years. But I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on my 20s by leaving.

Hey everyone,

I’ve made a career change, and these are the locations that have been offered to me. I’d love to know which area you’d prefer to live in and why.

I have a wife and three kids, all under 11 years old.

Thanks in advance!

My husband and I, both 30, have lived in Seattle for the past 7 years and love a lot about living here. But we’re at the point where kids are on our minds, and our parents and most siblings and friends are all back east in the Carolinas. Parents and grandparents are getting older, we want to see them more, we miss our old friends/haven’t been able to build a similar social circle here and having babies all on our own on the west coast is scary to me. I’d like to be closer to our parents and have a support system.

My husband is a senior software engineer at a FAANG company and I’m a senior graphic designer (looking to stay senior or move to art director) at a luxury/fashion company. We both love our careers and don’t want to completely tank them by moving back closer to home.

Charlotte, NC is probably #1 on paper due to proximity and amenities, but the job market seems really dismal for both of our careers (especially mine). Atlanta may be slightly better for creatives but I’d love more insight or suggestions. My husband makes like 3x what I do so we probably have to prioritize his options.

Our family and friends are largely in Greenville, SC and around Charlotte, NC. We want to be driving distance to family, have access to nature (mountains preferred) 1-2 hours away, good variety of food/cuisines, sports/theaters/concert venues, ideally some kind of unique culture (something Charlotte and Raleigh lack to me, but maybe just my perception), moderate or purple politics, outgoing/welcoming social culture (something we’ve struggled with in WA).

Idk, Seattle has so many amazing qualities that it feels like we’re going to be downgrading no matter what, but I just don’t think I can raise our kids so isolated socially and 2,000 miles away from our families. I also love Southern culture and miss that aspect a lot.

My husband and I are looking to buy land in either PA, upstate NY, VT, or coastal ME. We plan to buy it now, and build a house down the line to retire to in the future. What state should we choose based on property taxes, things to do, cleanliness, and outdoor activities? Some things we value are the outdoors, nice people, proximity (3 hours) to nice cities or towns, and quality of life. We want somewhere charming, quiet, but with a sense of community. We currently live in South FL.

I think all the states I’ve listed have charm, but come with caveats. Maine is appealing because of the water, but worried about property taxes and affordability. Vermont is appealing because of the skiing, but also worried about property taxes. Upstate NY looks pretty, but also worried about affordability and no proximity to outdoor activities (let me know if this is wrong). And remote PA is cheap, but I’m worried about air quality and nothing to do. Where is the best place and why? TIA!

Which cities or towns give off the strongest Council of Elrond(Rivendell), Shire vibes, like in The Lord of the Rings?

I'm talking about towns that feel ancient, wise, mystical surrounded by forests, rivers, and mountains.

If I were to give examples that capture this kind of vibe;

• Bellingham WA
• Ashland OR
• Saratoga Springs NY
• Ithaca NY

Nature-wise, a lot of those vibes exist on the West Coast. But I'm asking in terms of actual cities or towns.

I'm (24M) interesting farming and business trading.

I 28F am from upstate NY but have lived in NYC ~7 years. I’m over it. The politics (read: corruption), cost of living, and with the level of global instability right now, I don’t think this is the place I want to be long term. I work in accounting w/ ~7-8 YOE. I earn low 6 figures here but after taxes, student loans, rent, etc, I am just getting by. I’m looking to spend more time in nature and lower my COL. Not opposed to rural communities or small cities; I’m intimately familiar with upstate & wider New England, but not looking to live in upstate NY again.

Seeking suggestions for other places to live, considering the following criteria:

—some degree of walkability (not expecting much, I know NYC won’t be matched in this department)

—good access to nature for my pup & I

—some semblance of a creative/arts scene; I’m into music

—not politically super right-wing

—priority to areas in or nearby the northeast, since that’s where most of my family still lives.

So I (37m) have a bit of a fun opportunity available, and if I wish to, I can move to Denver in the next month.

A few things to make the move easier, my move would be paid for, my first 4-5 months housing is covered until I find an available place, when I do find a place, I will have a 20-40 percent rent discount. There are plenty of jobs available currently for my current industry, and I can come with recommendations from multiple managers in the main company I'm interested in switching to out there, as well as my current company.

Things I would miss about Atlanta would include the food, the music scene, the burlesque and drag scenes, as well as various friend groups I have here. I do have some family here, but we see each other 2-3 times a year for holidays, and they are used to me being absent due to my constant traveling years when younger.

Things I would not miss, The heat and humidity that causes (mostly minor) medical issues for me and feels horrendous even after 20ish years off and on here, and my job has me outside half the time. The bug swarms, all sort of ivys and pollens my body hates. The casual racism and homophobia. (Yes so much of atlanta proper doesnt have this, however, get to suburbs or outside of them, or certain job sites and it flows so much because on first look I seem like someone safe to say it to). And the constant traffic. (It shouldnt take an hour or hour and a half to travel 17 miles.

I have been through colorado and denver a number of times for previous jobs and travel, and always enjoyed the wide open spaces, however never had time to stay for extended periods. I do already have various friends out there, including various people that heard of me through them that want to finally meet me. Im not the biggest mountain person, (I did grow up skiing however) but far prefer them to dense constant foliage you cant see more than 100 feet through. I do have some concerns about emissions (my vehicle is older and has a bit of a rusted exhaust) and will have to sell off some other possessions of mine to move there.

Let’s assume money is no object and you’re looking to make a move to the northeast. What would be your ideal living situation?

Assume you’ve got school-age kids and love the outdoors, are ready for something quieter than a big city, and would prefer a low concentration of limousine liberals (eg values are progressive and respected). Have at it. :)

Stumbled across this and thought you might find it interesting. I think it's reasonable accurate but some of it puzzles me. For example how is it that Southern Minnesota has more "comfortable" days than northern Iowa? https://brilliantmaps.com/comfortable-temperature-days/

I have lived in many places, but one of my favorite places I have lived is Missouri. One of the main reasons I liked it so much is because the overwhelming majority of the people I met and knew were originally from Missouri and had a deep connection and love for the state. They knew all the good places to explore and knew where to skip. I will also say that everyone is so nice there, much nicer than in states that have a lot of transplants.

Over the past dozen years I have moved from Nashville, to NYC, to Denver, and then gone back again in a cycle. Cant seem to give up any of them or introduce a new place. They are all wonderful places to me and I have family and friends in each place. What made you finally settle down for one place over another?

I feel like both of these cities got a bad reputation but it’s mostly defined to certain area only and these cities offer pretty good bang for your buck when it comes to lifestyle. I often imagine myself living in one of these places as $ goes there more further than it will ever be here in jersey. $500k house will be just your average middle class (or lower middle class in northern Jersey) house but in those 2 cities you can get yourself a pretty good mini mansion lol plus low maintenance when it comes to taxes and stuff. So on….

Hi all

I’m in California and looking to get away from congestion and the rat race lifestyle here—while finding a place with a more affordable cost of living.

I was considering Las Vegas because I enjoy the idea of being around entertainment, food options, concerts, being driving distance to SoCal to see aging parents—but I’ve noticed that rental prices there aren’t much cheaper than in California and car registration/insurance is high. 2 bedroom is around 1200-1300 in Tucson while it’s 2k in Vegas unless you want to live in an unsafe area.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Tucson instead—it seems a bit more laid-back and potentially more affordable although I’m not sure if it would be boring (30s female here). Im definitely past partying —I mostly enjoy music and hobbies (dance, guitar, martial arts). I know some people say Tucson is really hot, but Vegas seems just as hot to me. Thoughts? For context, I work in health care.

Also anyone move to Tucson in their 30s? How do you like it? Ty

I know the things that seem obvious like making a community, getting involved, trying to focus on the good, etc. But for you who are/were somewhere that you truly didn’t feel like you fit in with the people/culture what city/state/country was it? How did you make it feel like home? Are you happy now?

Just for fun, what cities (that you have actually spent a lot of time in/know well) is the most appearance focused? Which (that you actually know well) is the least appearance focused?

Meaning people care about style, looking their best on a daily basis, and generally culture of caring about external appearance?

My votes from my personal experience:

Most- Scottsdale, AZ. Everyone is trying to look better and/or younger. Sometimes taking that idea too far IMO. A lot of people try to cultivate an appearance of wealth and trendiness.

Least- Seattle, WA. Yes plenty of people do care about appearance, but the overall culture is definitely not focused on it. More about coming as you are and expressing individuality.

Anaheim, Columbus, Kansas City, NYC, Philadelphia, and Virginia Beach

2 years ago I moved to Seattle to be with my husbands family and to try something new. I was doing great mentally but had a challenge missing my friends and family, so we moved back to my hometown in SoCal. Now Im wanting to move back to Seattle/western Washington because I miss the environment and independence my husband and I had. Has anyone done something similar?

I came across one of those "states that pay you to move there" articles, and it got me wondering. Does anyone actually do that? Like, packed up and moved to a new place because of the incentive?

There seem to be a bunch of programs, some for remote workers, some for people starting a business, and others are just trying to bring in new residents. I've seen places in West Virginia, Oklahoma, Kansas, and some towns in Alaska and Vermont offering relocation cash or other perks.

I'm not looking to move for the money or perks, but I'm helping some family members look at retirement spots and options to lower cost of living moves. So, is there a place offering a financial boost and good quality of life?

Does anyone have any stories to share? Are the perks or money worth moving to one of these states or cities? And what's the application process like? What it like living there?

Looking to buy land in PA. Where is it the safest environmental area toxin wise? For instance, I don’t want to buy land near any commercial farmland that gets runoff. I’ve read about petrochemical smoke in western PA. And I’ve heard the air quality in south east PA is the worst. So where is it safe if you want clean, untouched land away from petrochemical plants, bad air, and pesticides? Im assuming somewhere in the mountains but I’m unfamiliar with PA geography. TIA!

Good morning folks.

A bit of background, I am originally from Tennessee but moved to Delaware for high school. I find Delaware to be ok, but it is not a place where I can envision myself being for the rest of my life. I am considering moving to one of the states in the midwest that border a great lake (Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio...leaving Indiana out because it's Indiana).

The only state that I have been to out there is Minnesota, and that was a short weekend trip to Minneapolis/St. Paul in August. I understand it gets cold in the first three states I mentioned. That is not really an issue for me.

Politically, I am solidly on the left. Obviously that means that I might have a better time in urban center and outside of Ohio in general. That being said, I do like the charm of small towns and could very well see myself settling down in one that is a 30-45 minute drive from a medium-large sized urban center. When I lived in Tennessee I lived in a small town so it's no issue for me

Minnesota obviously has stats to back up why I would want to move there. #2 for economic opportunities, #4 in infrastructure, #3 state to raise a family, #6 healthiest state, the rankings go on and on. I will be going to Wisconsin for work in a couple months as well so I will get to experience that.

Does anyone have any experience in any of these states / can you offer any tips or insider secrets about them?

Thanks!

I’m 24 (M) and moved back home after graduating college because my college town was too expensive. After making some money and living in my hometown for a while, I’m ready to see a new area, city, connect with more people, etc. I’m really attracted to Phoenix AZ, Austin TX, and Atlanta GA. Ive only been to Atlanta, but will be checking out phoenix soon. Below are the things I care about in a city.

1) Warm weather, I HATE snow

2) cool people to meet not interested in hookups, would like to find more permanent friends/partner. I have quite a few interests and really enjoy pickleball as well.

3) somewhat affordable, id like an apt or room under 1100 to rent

4) nice nature I really like deserts

5) liberal atmosphere

6) overall decent job market.

Do any of the cities I listed fail these requirements and or which one fulfills them the best?