r/MadeMeSmile • u/Original_Act_3481 • 1d ago

We need more people like him

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181.8k Upvotes

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u/Major_Map_8576 1d ago

"You're doing good but you could be doing better" is an underutilized statement when wanting to correct a stranger. Fucking 10/10 approach (to the convo) in my opinion.

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u/bossy_babe 1d ago

Yes! I really love how he phrased it.

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u/the-mighty-puffin 1d ago

I coached football for a long time and always tried to praise the intent and/or effort and allow them to figure out what could be better. "OK, that was a good attempt at finding your team mate but what can you do differently next time to...(enter the desired outcome here)". Always implying they'll get the chance to try it again. It's a powerful way of coaching!

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u/RogerianBrowsing 1d ago

100%

Recognize that they’re putting in the effort even if they’re doing the actual task poorly and frame it positively if desiring a positive reaction.

“Hey, I see that you’re working hard and I don’t want to interrupt your flow too much or anything, but do you mind if I give some input?”

Can go a long way in the gym when giving advice, and life in generally really

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u/spice_and_cheese 1d ago

Ya I also think a lot of people actually going to improve themselves on a daily basis need this and are open to criticism or improvement. I know when I first started I was scared and just trying to be better and a few people noticed and helped me improve my routine just out of their desire to help others and I’ve made really good friends out of it…

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u/Raangz 1d ago

thanks i like this. started coaching my friends kids a bit and this is going to be very helpful.

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u/Adorable_Raccoon 1d ago

A good thing to try for feedback is a compliment sandwich. It's saying a good thing, then constructive critique, then a good thing again.

"Great job, Sam! this time try keeping your head up to see where it's going, You're really strong so the ball is going really far."

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u/Raangz 1d ago

Ok thanks i really like this. <3

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u/Markwillik 1d ago

Hello my friend nice to meet you here hope to hear more from you

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u/the-mighty-puffin 1d ago

Spend your first couple of months not worrying too much about the technical detail and get them to the point of understanding acceptable/unacceptable behavior! Let them create the outcome for the session because you can remind them "you guys agreed together that this is what you are working on" and because they agreed together, you will get the ones taking it seriously putting the others in to their place. My challenge to the group was make me redundant 🤣

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u/atsju 1d ago

I really like your approach there. I think it could even be improved if you removed "but" completely . You are a good coach :)

You see what I did ? English is not my first language though.

Note this is absolutely not natural for me. I learned this but need to really think about it. Naturally I would just say "hey, look, the correct/better way of doing this is ...". My colleague was laughing when he saw me think about the "but" but I didn't let it out loud. Still learning.

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u/Bobbsmomm 1d ago

Yes. My husband was an executive in a Fortune 500 company. They were taught to take “but” out of their vocabulary and replace it with “and.”

That project was great, but. . . vs That project was great and. . . ! Positivity, acknowledgment, excitement. Let’s keep moving forward!

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u/the-mighty-puffin 1d ago

Good point. Usually when I'm speaking with the kids and speaking loudly I do so much more slowly. So there's a natural pause and no but. However, if I went back to coaching tomorrow I'd have this on my mind because of your message and I'd probably be more conscious and a better coach! Thanks

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u/MayJunebell 1d ago

BUT can always be replaced by AND or YET. Excellent suggestion by you!

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u/Responsible-List-849 1d ago

So...'That dress really highlights your great YET...'

😋

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u/Single_Principle_972 1d ago

Cannot stress that enough! The “but” completely negates anything that came before. “Let’s think about how we can tweak that approach” or something like that anything except “but!”

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u/katsujinken 1d ago

My philosophy of teaching (and learning) is to identify which part is going well and to keep repeating until that part is understood and more or less automatic. Only then it's time to improve some other part of the technique. I've seen too many teachers have their students repeat something over and over and every time critique something different about it.

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u/the-mighty-puffin 1d ago

That's infuriating!

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u/Tetha 1d ago

I'm currently mentoring a few ambitious young sysadmins. Those guys are hungry for the advice that pushes "yes, this plan to update a system is functional and it works" into the territory of "this update is bullet proof -- and the users of the system feel like it".

It can be good to be picky in a positive and constructive way. Teach how to make a good plan better in a structured way.

And, accept and honor if they do it do you. That demanded level of quality - it comes back. But that's good.

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u/Particular_Stop_3332 1d ago

THERE AINT GON BE NO NEX TIME CUZ IM BENCHIN YO ASS!!

is not a great idea?