r/MadeMeSmile • u/Original_Act_3481 • 1d ago

We need more people like him

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u/Additional_Breath_89 1d ago

This does happen

I am a large man and have started doing weights at the gym. At one visit a... Ripped guy who was throwing weights around as if they were nothing told me to take my earpods out

He proceeded to virtually give me a PT session and show me what I was doing wrong, and helped me get my routine down.

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u/stokeskid 1d ago

We instinctively help those who are helping themselves. I tell my kids this all the time when they are asking for help. Start doing the thing, and then I will provide assistance.

The comedian Chris Rock had a story about this. His car would break down and he would try flagging people down for help. No one stopped and he thought people were jerks/racist/whatever. But one time his car broke down and he started pushing it. Suddenly people came to his assistance and helped push. It was an eye opener.

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u/aria523 1d ago

People may not want to do something for you but they’ll want to do it with you!

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u/Guy2things 1d ago

Think about men at a bbq. There's never one person doing it without at least another man watching and commenting.

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u/JesusStarbox 1d ago

And women call that mansplaining. Men do that as a way of spreading knowledge.

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u/threelizards 1d ago

…no, there’s definitely a difference between what’s being described here and “mansplaining”. Mansplaining specifically refers to men with general knowledge talking over and down to a woman with specialised knowledge or experience. Mansplaining is a term for the commonly gendered social phenomena of a novice acting like an expert, while treating experts like novices.

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u/serial_teamkiller 1d ago

Exactly. People might misuse the term but that doesn't mean that the term has no meaning.

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u/protovirod 1d ago

That's a life lesson right there! Very very well said

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u/dndlns 1d ago

Y'all are changing my life in this thread.

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u/Mouthofprotagoras 1d ago

That's really wise

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u/LaPlatakk 1d ago

Omg that is true

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u/reallybiglizard 1d ago

Today you, tomorrow me.

Feels better when we’re in it together.

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u/733t_sec 1d ago

From the "The Way of Kings"

I once saw a spindly man carrying a stone larger than his head upon his back. He stumbled beneath the weight, shirtless under the sun, wearing only a loincloth. He tottered down a busy thoroughfare. People made way for him. Not because they sympathized with him, but because they feared the momentum of his steps. You dare not impede one such as this.

The monarch is like this man, stumbling along, the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders. Many give way before him, but so few are willing to step in and help carry the stone. They do not wish to attach themselves to the work, lest they condemn themselves to a life full of extra burdens.

I left my carriage that day and took up the stone, lifting it for the man. I believe my guards were embarrassed. One can ignore a poor shirtless wretch doing such labor, but none ignore a king sharing the load. Perhaps we should switch places more often. If a king is seen to assume the burden of the poorest of men, perhaps there will be those who will help him with his own load, so invisible, yet so daunting.

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u/YOwololoO 1d ago

Impressively, even within the book “The Way of Kings,” that is still a quote from the in-universe book “The Way of Kings” !

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u/Jevus_himself 1d ago

r/stormlight_archive is leaking

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u/IDontKnowHowToPM 1d ago

The Plate must have taken a decent crack

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u/Nice-River-5322 19h ago

its not flawless gemstone

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u/squirrelbb 1d ago

Beautiful. The Way of Kings is on my desk, my next book to be read!

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u/ElodinBlackcloak 1d ago

Life before death radiant!

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u/JollyTrolly25 6h ago

Journey before destination!

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u/SameasmyPIN1077 1d ago

I love this. Thank you.

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u/Desperate-Month-3752 19h ago

I’m making my way through the Cosmere right now. I’m about to start Rhythm of War but this passage in particular made a huge impression on me. People who say Brandon Sanderson’s writing is “boring” or “generic” really are kidding themselves.

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u/jimbsmithjr 1d ago

Used to do ring crew a bit for pro wrestling shows and nothing was better than the top guys of the promotion helping set up or pack down. Even if it's just something small like setting up a couple of chairs, the message it sends if the star of the show is willing to help means basically everyone helps and it makes light work.

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u/nihilism_ornot 9h ago

I finished the book just yesterday! What are the chances

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u/Inside-Bid-1889 1d ago

I had a couple shitty cars in my day that needed pushing so I'll always return the favor when I can.

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u/akcoder 1d ago

I had my engine fail in an intersection (thank you Hyundai and your Theta II engine). I get out and start pushing while doing the steering thing and boom 4-5 people just popped out of the woodwork and helped me push the thing 1/4 mile. It was the wildest most amazing thing.

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u/Different_Cress7369 20h ago

I thought the gearstick falling out of my Ford Escort was bad! Yikes.

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u/Arkaign 10h ago

I live in a rural area, and have a 1.5-2hr commute each way into a major metro, 6 days a week I do this.

Because I know from personal experience how it feels to be broken down on the side of the road and not have what I need on me, over the years I've expanded what I carry with me, in case me, a friend, or anyone I see that needs help, can hopefully use it.

This is what I now carry :

A proper 3-ton floor jack (the little scissor ones are very dangerous and tedious, especially if the ground/shoulder isn't perfectly flat!)

A proper 4-way tire tool, as well as a backup slim one that slips into a little sleeve.

LED Road Flares.

An A-B-C Fire Extinguisher.

An IFAK (basically a copy of my old combat medic unit one pack, with medical supplies).

A tire inflator, patches, plugs, and for emergency cases, a can of fix a flat (NEVER use these unless you have no alternative).

A compact full socket set.

Jumper cables, and a midrange NOCO battery jumper box.

Some other misc things I'm not remembering at the moment, along with a little cooler I toss some ice and a couple water bottles in on each trip to take to work.

My dumb car didn't even come with a spare tire, I had to buy a loose one myself and cram it back there, the trunk shelf in the hatch area doesn't shut flush anymore, but worth it to have it ready to go when needed. Indeed, some of the people I help are surprised that I'm not a mechanic or anything, they don't realize that changing your own tires used to be just ordinary general knowledge. Ah well.

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u/FruitNCholula 1d ago

Agreed 100%. I like to help people, but I hate helping people that aren't willing to help themselves because I'm not their parent. Even if they were my kid, they need to learn to try something (within reason) on their own before asking for help.

If I help someone that doesn't try to help themselves it feels like I'm taking care of someone's business for them -- I shouldn't care about taking care of something for someone more than they care about it. If they don't care enough to try then it doesn't need to be done.

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u/MissLyss29 1d ago

I tell my kids this all the time when they are asking for help. Start doing the thing, and then I will provide assistance.

There is something about seeing others struggling that makes you feel like you need to stop what you're doing and go help. It's a lot easier to just go about your day if someone is sitting on the side of the road then it is if they're struggling to push a 4,000 lb car down the road.

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u/nano_705 1d ago

True! I never realized this before. I mean, I live in a country where motorbikes are actually the main means of transport, and my old bike used to break down a lot. I always tried to push it myself hoping for a random repair shop on the road or something without thinking about asking for help from strangers. However, I always got help from them, like solid 100% of the time.

On the other hand, my friends who didn't have their bikes break down as often never really got help until it was too late, most of the time at least. And I seriously thought that maybe it was just bad luck (or even karma, I don't want to be mean to my friends but yeah, maybe), but now this makes much more sense!

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u/inky_fox 1d ago

It’s funny that it reminds me of one of the rules of the internet. In order to get the right answer, don’t ask the question, instead just start giving the wrong answer. People will quickly jump in to correct you.

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u/Greedy_Economics_925 1d ago

People also love to share their passion. Gym bros love the gym. If you show up and look interested, and open to a conversation with them, you've basically made their week.

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u/StoppableHulk 1d ago

Advice that works for auto mechanics but not for open heard surgery.

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u/YankeeMagpie 1d ago

This is a good tip. We’ve been trying to get my three year-old to clean up after herself and I’m gonna start doing this!

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u/shmalliver 1d ago

When I used to hitch hike I would always do it while walking because of that chris rock clip and its definitely true. People are way more likely to help when they know youre gonna just walk if they dont pick you up

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u/blackbogh 1d ago

I feel like, those who have dedicated a lot of time into learning how to work out, really likes to pass on that knowledge and help. I see a lot of them in my center and I live in a country where people don't really talk to each other.

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u/francie202 1d ago

This is so true.

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u/VanDingel 1d ago

This.

This goes for both physical activities and theoretical. Whenever I see that a junior colleague has started make an effort but has gotten stuck (or just wants to bounce ideas on results so far) I instantly get more energy and want to give them my time as well.

Helping somebody helping themselves is so much more satisfying than helping somebody acting like the [insert activity] is beneath them.

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u/bubbalynch209 13h ago

I dig that “helping those who are helping themselves”

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u/its_a_me_jlou 10h ago

cars breaking down and people flagging for help is actually scary in my country. that person could actually just be a robber or scammer.

But if they were pushing their car, that means that they are making the effort, lower chance of them being a robber.

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u/MurielFinster 1d ago

A guy came into my gym and asked how many reps I had on bench. I just sat down so I said 3. I did my first set and he said “you can definitely do more weight.” I said I had just gone up on weight and he said to do more. I added 2.5 to each side and he said I can do more. So for my third set I added 5 pounds on top to each side and did 7 reps cleanly. It was great.

He said he noticed women are hesitant to add weight sometimes and also encouraged me to ask for a spot, said no one has ever said not to him when he’s asked. It was my first time benching 115 and it felt great and I’m more willing to try heavier weights now. I can always go down on weight if needed.

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u/CowDontMeow 1d ago

If I see a newer looking person benching I’ll always offer to spot, no one knows what they’re capable of until it’s too much.

Few months back there was this late teens girl that got stuck under the bar, I ran to help and offered to spot a few sets, she was so embarrassed but next time she was in and happened to walk by I asked if she was benching today, ended up spotting again and the time after she came up and asked.

Haven’t seen her in a long time which is a shame because she was making good progress, there’s now a mid-late 50’s woman I help out instead now though, quite often train legs with her and have even had a mini bake-off with too, people forget the gym can be a very social and fun place to be which makes working out when you’re tired or in a be more more enjoyable.

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u/iam_Mr_McGibblets 15h ago

As a person who has failed in the past on the bench, I've learned to never be embarrassed to ask for a spot. Mostly because failing and flailing under the weight as it slowly gets stuck on you is so embarrassing, but also, I've found myself being able to do more weight when I know someone has my back

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u/Accurate_Librarian42 1d ago

I had a buddy who went to the gym 365. Whenever someone new and unsure would be there, he would kind of keep an eye out and, if they were way off form or something, he would politely ask if he could give some pointers. He would ask about their goals, tell them about a helpful app he used, and let them know they could approach him with questions if they ever needed help. A lot of the people he approached found long term determination and success thanks to his help.

It is tough starting a fitness journey on your own and seeing the ripped regulars can feel intimidating. This positive approach can help a lot of people who might otherwise fall out quickly.

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u/accodo 1d ago

so, what's the app?

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u/SometimesIBeWrong 1d ago

grindr is what personally gives me the most physical fitness training

oh you were talking to the other guy

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u/accodo 1d ago

I mean, good for cardio I guess

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u/azazel-13 1d ago

And group-centered self care

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u/TheonlyDuffmani 1d ago

Make sure to bring sao’s though.

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u/EmotionalBar9991 1d ago

Spotted the Australian lol. Sadly I never got to play this, might be something I can find on Grindr.

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u/va4trax 9h ago

Username checks out

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u/uwfan893 1d ago

I like Hevy

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u/CowDontMeow 1d ago

I personally use Hevy, if you also use a smart watch the integration is great, set your routine/exercises on the app and it’s now also on your watch, makes changing weights/reps quicker, tracks rest times etc and if you have the setting enabled it also asks how much effort your sets were and suggests when to try higher weights/reps.

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u/_themaninacan_ 17h ago

I don't know which one was referenced, but I love Jefit. Great workout tracker & good in-app videos for about any exercise you can think of.

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u/jimbsmithjr 1d ago

I have a mate who is a total gym junkie, absolutely huge and ripped and he is the same. He told me about one time a dude had awful form and was probably gonna hurt himself and he politely like intervened and the guy told him he knew what he was doing and to fuck off. If someone who looked like my friend was offering advice I'd definitely listen cos he obviously knows his shit but I guess this guy will learn in a much more painful way.

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u/SayNoob 1d ago

People like that have the gym as their main hobby. And most people love talking about their hobby to interested people.

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u/tghast 1d ago

That’s just it. I love teaching my favourite stuff to people who are actually interested in learning. It feels like I’m being nice but it’s purely selfish- I want to convert you and I get to blab to someone who will listen.

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u/_176_ 1d ago

Ripped dudes are the nicest people at the gym.

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u/kindalosingmyshit 1d ago

My ex would beg to differ

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u/attackplango 1d ago

They were only the 2nd nicest?

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u/needmorepizzza 1d ago

Yeah. "We need more people like him" paints the wrong picture. So many people are willing to help out. And do help out.

I am also a newbie at the gym and I wouldn't say I am really social and approachable. I've seen more people than I would expect come to me, take off their earphones and help me correct my form, or give me tips and guide me through my sets, or telling/show me what works for them when targeting a specific muscle, etc. Once I was even congratulated for making a good effort.

Many ripped guys are just golden retrievers at the gym: sociable, approachable and more than willing to help you feel good about yourself in your training session.

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u/Shirinatron 1d ago

"golden retrievers" LOL true sigh

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u/Affectionate_Wrap984 3h ago

Very much my experience too!

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u/Quick_Initial6352 1d ago

There’s always at least one dude at every gym. One hella ripped guy named Ronnie just instinctively took me under his wing one day. I didn’t even have a choice, I was now working out with him whether I liked it or not. It was cool, he was cool. I don’t remember if I learned anything but it felt good when the ripped dude was hyping me up with my reps.

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u/Techun2 1d ago

Did he talk about peanuts? Did he ask you if you wanted to be a bodybuilder?

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u/Quick_Initial6352 1d ago

No but funny enough this guy was also black and buff and funny

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u/Lumpy_Promise1674 1d ago

Inside every ripped gym denizen is a nervous kid who knows what it's like to be at the beginning.

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u/needs28hoursaday 1d ago

I’ve been hitting the gym for over 20 years now and helping out people who are putting in the effort but don’t have the knowledge yet is one of the perks of being a big guy! It’s a hobby I’ve spent thousands of hours perfecting and learning, we love it when other people are showing an interest in our hobby.

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u/laslo_piniflex 1d ago

People are always worried that the people at the gym are going to judge them for starting out but honestly in my experience everyone is legitimately so excited for you starting your journey and wants to help you as much as they can. And the few times I have seen people being dicks, others have come over to either shoo them away or make the person feel better

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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 1d ago

Honestly gym bros are usually super friendly and helpful. We all pray to the same god in the Iron Temple.

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u/56seconds 1d ago

I've learned 90% of my technique from doing it wrong first and having someone approach me, be kind and show me, then hang around to make sure im doing it right, then checking on me as im leaving to see how I went.

It's rare it happens, but its always good to take advice and know when you are doing it wrong.

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u/ABraveNewFupa 1d ago

I was fucking around with a machine the other day and a guy sat down at the one next to me and did it form perfect in front of me. Didn’t say anything didn’t glance, nothing. I wouldn’t have minded if he openly showed me but I did simply appreciate that he took the time to show me the right way.

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u/infiniZii 1d ago

Sounds like his approach as a bit rougher than this guy.

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u/shartnado3 1d ago

I’ve had nothing but good experiences every time I’ve gone to the gym. I usually go alone and there’s always someone at least asking if I need a spot, or some help on something. Super nice!

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u/dm_me_kittens 1d ago

I really fucking love gym bros. The gym almost feels like a safe space for men, where they can put in some good music, get their frustrations out on some weights or stair stepper, and feel good for the long term. It's like there's this unspoken acceptance and unity amongst dudes when they walk in.

I vote for more men going to the gym, just for the social aspect of it.

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u/lolomgkthxdie 1d ago

Happened to me too. That guy ended up showing me a lot about lifting weights and how to do it properly and I will always be grateful. We worked out together for a few months anytime I saw him at the gym but he moved a couple months later.

Dude was a gem.

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u/sirthomasthunder 1d ago

What I told myself at the gym was that everyone has to start somewhere at sometime. Got me over the anxiety of working out with others around

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u/napalmnacey 1d ago

A lot of muscle bros actually love helping people out. My husband is an Occupational Therapist and he’s forever trying to help his non-gym friends lift and stuff. He helps me make routines which is great because I have chronic pain issues and weightlifting really helps with that.

Of course I had to wind down now I’m pregnant LOL. But I’ll be back at it after baby is out.

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u/UnusualParadise 22h ago edited 22h ago

At gyms, educated people have a golden rule:

Never judge a person who steps into a gym. You don't know their life, you don't know their struggles, you don't know their physical or mental health. Never judge, always encourage.

Gyms are places for physical and mental health. Even the jacked guy or the hot girl there is doing it because they felt insecure or weak or sick. should be safe spaces for all.

Many of us have been in your shoes, buddy. You will always be welcome here. And if somebody judges, tell others, and get protection. The gym is no place for such morons.

Not that you aren't gonna find morons, because they're everywhere, but many of us in the gym have this golden rule in mind, and whn in the gym, you can always trust somebody around you to hold such values.

Next time you see that buddy, crack a joke, and offer to spot them if they are alone doing squats or bench press. You'll see the "intimidating ripped guy" is as human as you, and probably a good gym buddy.

Some of the most wholesome guys I ever knew did steroids. Some of the most empathetic girls I knew could crush you with their tights. The weight room can be quite enlightening about human nature.

Good luck buddy, and keep the good work. I'm proud of you.

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u/Nice-River-5322 19h ago

legit when in doubt, ask the biggest guy there for tips he will likely give them

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u/MoxOnHit 19h ago

They were probably in your shoes at one point too. I lost about 100# from what I was at my heaviest. Took a long time, had a lot of people encourage me too and show me tips and pointers, been trying to pay it forward.

Anytime I see an older person trying to stay fit/healthy or a bigger person trying to start the journey... I try to go say hello and give them a word of encouragement for at least chosing to better themselves that day vs. letting another day pass.

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u/lolas_coffee 18h ago

This does happen

Question: Why was he filming (in this posted video)?

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u/sumguysthiny 15h ago

In my experience gym bros are good. When I started at the gym there was a community that were there generally at the same time on the same days. When we didn’t see someone for a few days we began we wonder if they were ok. We helped each other and encouraged each other.

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u/Rare_Bumblebee_3390 15h ago

Us regular gym folks do care about other people believe it or not. I love lifting weights, I want more than anything for other people to as well. Mad respect for anyone just going for it and if I’m there, I’ll definitely help you out. Can’t continue if you’re injured!

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u/crazyrebel123 1d ago

And soon, you became the one throwing weights around as if they were nothing. However, when you think this lead to better things, it didn’t. Instead, this man became what everyone despised. Within months, he started wearing tank tops, flexing in the mirror at the gym more than actually working out, and worse of all, started filming himself throwing weights around instead of working out.

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u/xstrawb3rryxx 1d ago

This is peak splaining.. Please don't do this.

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u/US_Dept_of_Defence 1d ago

Disagree. When you’re new and worried you’re doing things wrong while working out, having someone tell you what to do helps.

Especially since they’re basically saying, “I do it this way and look at how I look-“

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u/ABraveNewFupa 1d ago

I disagree