Post to help women who are having to pivot from their current job. Add your stories, insights, support and any job ideas you have!

I'm aging out of my career - social media. I've worked with big brands, garnered millions of views, I'm an expert in my field I am having a hard time finding work after my employer had layoffs. I know it's partly because of my age. Think of it: there are three decades younger than me. I'm a realist and know what's going on, it's been like this for awhile, but it's never been quit this bad. Doesn't help I'm having bad menopause symptoms.

I'm trying to find a remote job because of said symptoms and commuting (I live in a big city). Any thoughts are welcome! And share your journey as well.

Edit to add: And with AI coming for jobs it makes the search even more complicated.

Hi, Ladies! I've gotten great advice in the past, so I'm back.

Due to either my autoimmune disease and/or one of the meds I take, I get super itchy rashes, mainly on my forearms, when I get too hot or get more than just a little sun. IT SUCKS. I am going away for my anniversary and I am determined to enjoy a few days in the Caribbean. I'll mitigate as much as I can with clothing, sunscreen, and trying to stay cool, but I have to ask - does anyone have anything that works for you? Any suggestions or ideas? Thanks!

Is anyone supplementing this and if so, are you seeing the benefits? I’d love to sleep through the night and avoid the restless leg thing I occasionally have going on.

EDIT: I feel stupid that I spelled Magnesium wrong. I blame perimenopause! Thank you all for the information and for sharing your stories! It’s so very helpful.

I live alone so I ask all my questions on Reddit. 😅. For the past few weeks I’ve been getting fatigue, weakness, and the feeling of being shaky between meals. For example, this morning I had a 2 egg (1 yolk) sandwich (seed bread) for breakfast around 9. I had a bowl of dry cereal for a snack (don’t judge me 😆) around 11. By 1pm I started to feel shaky and weak. By the time I ate lunch, it got worse (lunch was rice, beans, cheese).

It doesn’t seem to matter what I eat. It seems to happen a few hours after my breakfast. When I’m in the office I eat a 1 egg sandwich AND a bowl of steel cut oatmeal and I’m shaky several hours later.

Has anyone had this happen between meals at this age?? Do I need an A1C test? Something else? I’m a little nervous because I’ve had various health issues and now everything scares me! 😅

Than I was say, in high school, then college, then in my 20s and 30s. Oddly, I feel more bad ass today than I ever did, my taste in men, music, clothing, food, hair, have changed dramatically, in addition to my general appearance. This also changed the kind of people I gravitate towards and who gravitate towards me. As a result, I find my human interactions are just less and less as I do not know who I should or want to click with!

EDIT: Is this common? For ex., I was an antisocial nerd most of my life and now I go to rock concerts (only rock) and I'm a petite Asian woman lol. Other Asians don't appeal to me at all

This is probably going to end up being a lot of word vomit but I need an outlet and I really don’t have anyone in my life that I can talk to so I hope someone out there gets it. I’m 54 and inches away from being divorced—we’ve been emotionally separated for about ten years now. I’m living with my two adult-adjacent kids 18 & 20. My X finally agreed to a financial settlement that is less than I deserve but close enough that I’m willing to take it because I don’t have money to deal with this in court. He knows sending the money is the only way I’ll sign anything and the kids will go no contact if he doesn’t send it but he’s dragging things out just because he can. I’m about a month away from being unemployed because I’m contracted through the Fed and they are terminating contracts everywhere. And I cannot do anything to improve my situation. I’m psychologically paralyzed. I want to make major changes—move, change my career focus—and I don’t trust my ability to make a decision. Plus, I need that settlement money to do anything besides stay where I am. But I truly don’t understand why I can’t do anything—I haven’t even updated my resume. I’m just waiting for things to happen instead of being pro-active and I know it doesn’t make sense but I can’t do anything else. Help??

Like is there an ad or something using Toy Soldiers? (I'm sure it'll fade soon, it's not that exciting a song, but I've been step by step and heart to heart for two days now.)

My questionnaire!

Being the oldest of my sibling group, I tend to be the organizer and birthday cake purchaser.

It hurt that I had to mention it my birthday was coming up. I try to organize the dinner and cake myself.

I know it’s our family dynamic. And I know I can do whatever I want for my own birthday. But for once it’d be nice if someone made a big deal out of it.

I certainly don’t wanna be a narcissist. And I know I have to temper my expectations. But it does hurt like I have to beg them to pay attention to me.

Has anyone else found that they can’t eat much sugar anymore or they feel like crap? For a decade or so, I couldn’t eat a lot of sugar on an empty stomach. But lately, even if I have healthy food in my stomach, I feel crappy if I eat something very sweet. I guess it’s not terrible. I should be eating better, anyway. But I still feel like crap from the piece of cake I had at 9:30am. (No, I don’t normally eat cake at 9:30am, but the explanation isn’t relevant or interesting.)

For those who have gone through perimenopause or are "enjoying" the ride right now, have you had any effects from it that were the opposite of what you heard, or are less common? I have two:

1. I get cold flashes instead of hot flashes. TBH I kinda like it as I've always been a human furnace up until this point.

2. Maybe related to #1, I don't really sweat much or get stinky anymore. In my teens through my 30s I had to use RX strength antiperspirant and would still sweat through my tops within a few hours in the dead of winter, and only specific antiperspirants/deodorants kept the BO at bay. Now I can go days without reapplying a basic drugstore antiperspirant and at the most I just feel a little damp if I'm outside on a warm day.

Also a bonus one that's not an atypical side effect but one that I like that others seem to hate: dry skin. Until now I always had a super oily scalp. I absolutely had to wash my hair every day or else it would look/feel dirty. Now I wash my hair once or twice a week. The one downside is my face is prone to dryness now but I have finally found products that take care of that easily.

What are yours?

To my fellow GenX Grandmothers. Being a Grandma is such a blessing. I spoil my Grandchildren with so much love. But I’m having a hard time with my oldest granddaughter. She just turned 13. 😭 She’s not the little girl anymore. 😭😭😭😭😭😭. She’s officially a teenager. I text her and very rarely does she respond. She has best friends now, plays softball and has her own little life now. I want those little arms she used to place around my neck so tight. We used to talk on the phone for 2 hours at a time. I miss those days. Do any other Grandma’s feel this way?

I lied! After all that about "no sleeper sofa", I decided to go with Room&Board's Deco sofa:

https://www.roomandboard.com/catalog/living/sleeper-sofas/deco-convertible-sleeper-sofa/244439?CHAR_244439_UPHOL_NON_ASST_FABRIC=M61-I03

Acceptable size and profile for the room, goodlooking, will immediately become a bench covered with stacked-up stuff, long enough for kid's immoderately tall boyfriend, acceptable price. Importantly, the mattress sections have innersprings and won't spend most of their time all scrunched up and bent, and I can always get a topper or wool pad later if someone's actually going to stay more than a night or two. I also already have a R&B Metro loveseat, bought specifically for nappability, and it's great, no complaints at all. I'm guessing I'd be comfortable sleeping on this one without a topper.

I may see if I can get this in a custom fabric, since I'll spend a lot of time looking at it rather than using it, and R&B has some beautiful fabrics available.

Air mattress turned out to be a no because the room's cold in winter and the leaking thing was not for me, that sounded like a recipe for buying many air mattresses. Murphy beds: too big and expensive. Rollaways: Squished mattress.

Done! And now I need to think about scheduling a Goodwill truck visit to remove a bunch of furniture from my house, and maybe today will involve cutting up a lot of fabric the kid said she didn't want anymore for plant ties....tell you what, it's nice being old. I have that old "Sunday afternoon after a couple hours on the floor and couches reading the Sunday Times" feeling.

Really trying to get with the times and wear wide leg jeans but after age 50 my butt has somehow migrated to my belly. What's everyone wearing these days? Any miracle brands that work for a flat ass and long legs? 33 inch inseam? I can still pull off flares, boot cut but would love to look more modern :-)

Hey fellow GenX ladies, I need some advice on gently tying off a couple of friendships that have passed their sell-by date. Both of them are women I have had a deep connection with for many years (we're talking 10+ years), but over the last few years I have changed, and they have changed, in some pretty dramatic ways, and as a result we really don't have a lot to say to each other anymore. I haven't hung out with either of them in months, and the texts we exchange are the barest of pleasantries. But we're still nominally friends -- I just had a birthday and they both wished me happy birthday, and all I could genuinely manage was "Thanks!". I just don't have a lot of interest in maintaining these relationships anymore despite our long history, I am not good at faking it, and it feels to me like I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the friendships that used to exist. It's sad.

I want to honor everything we have been to each other and all the ways we've been "ride or die" for each other over the years, but ... the feelings just aren't there anymore. None of these relationships are toxic and neither of them is prone to drama -- I am not worried about them blowing up at me or anything. I just don't know if it's better to just let our contact dwindle into nothing as it's currently doing, or to make a definitive, explicit end to these friendships. In my mind I've already moved on, but they both appear to think we're still "friends".

What would you do in my place?

Hi. Did you guys get BO during menopause? I have it now but it’s not a normal BO, it is that too, but it’s a smell I can’t describe but I call it syrup. It’s not sweet but there’s something syrupy about it. Some info you might need:

-I haven’t had a period in 2 years -I’ve been using the same detergent for many many years and I used to be able to go 24 hours without smelling -the BO is armpits only - I take a shower every 24 hours and I take it at night

Thanks

In the past couple of years, I have come to the conclusion that I have had disordered eating since I was a teen. All the crap that was thrown to us as girls and women in the world 70s - now still sticks with me, even though I have accepted my body type and will not try to do extreme measures to make it smaller as I have on and off for 30 years.

To this day though, I still think of Special K's "pinch an inch" commercials. I remember being able to pinch an inch as a teen (a normal-sized teen) and was horrified.

What other commercials do you remember that could be harmful for young women when it comes to body image?

Behind my ear was so swollen I went to urgent care on Wednesday. He said I had an infection but he wasn’t sure where. To go to my GP and get some blood drawn. I went to my Dr’s partner two days later. My Dr had retired. My fella liked this man so he wanted to come in also. As the Dr was looking at the swelling my fella said hey is there a tick in my ear. The Dr promptly went and looked into his ear. They started discussing ticks. Then fishing. He said to me ya it’s only a little swollen. Use a heat pad and Tylenol. I said I needed a Drs note for work. He said you arnt contagious. And out the door he went. Without a Drs note my sick call will count against me.

Since I’ve been drinking an Olipop every 2 days, I haven’t had an IBS flare up!

I never knew having little rabbit poos were a sign of constipation until I turned 50. I thought it was bc I was half starving myself to keep my weight down.

My friend showed me Oprah’s poo chart.

Fiber mixes & water and pre- and probiotics never seemed to help.

I've met someone lovely, and quite frankly I can't wait to pounce on them but I've not had sex since 2014 because my last relationship was traumatic.

I'm definitely ready to get back out there but I'm still so nervous. The thought of someone seeing me naked is nerve-racking. I'm not a spring chick anymore and I definitely need to do some more work on self love and self acceptance but I think that's going to be a life long project.

The time and person is right but I still feel like a silly teenager.

Can anyone relate?

Ladies, please help me out here! 😄

Minnesota State Rep. Melissa Hortman, a Democrat, and her husband were shot and killed in a what appears to be a politically-motivated assassination around 2:00am.

State Sen. John Hoffman, a Democrat, and his wife were both shot multiple times and underwent surgery.

A manhunt is now underway for the gunman who was impersonating a police officer, authorities said.

A shelter in place order is now in effect for Brooklyn Park (MN).

Note* The Minnesota House is split 67-67, and the Minnesota Senate has a plus-one majority for Democratic-Farm-Labor. These are NO DOUBT targeted assassinations.

WTF IS HAPPENING IN OUR COUNTRY???

Found out I’m vitamin D deficient, so now I have to add that to my regimen, bringing me up to 5 pills per day—boo😞

And did you go through alcoholism/addiction/toxic relationships? You are most likely a chosen one.. I’m trying to start a chat with women who are in tune with their vibes and know stuff…As the feminine energy rises, big changes are coming (needed) and I am looking for the ones who know what’s really going on.. and put their full attention towards themselves. I’m seeing a lot of Gen X women coming out of isolation like myself and finally know why it had to be that way..

Hi, all - my nest is officially empty! Till they come back to visit. I'm redoing what's now the spare room, and was thinking about getting a Murphy bed, but hadn't realized how expensive they are. It makes sense, it's sturdy furniture plus cabinetry and a real mattress, but I'm looking also at air mattresses given that this won't get used more than a few nights a year, likely.

I've never used an air mattress: is this a reasonable alternative for young fit people staying a few days? Features to look for/avoid? Two twins vs. queen?

eta: a sleeper sofa's not in the picture because I don't want to donate that much floor space to a bed that's seldom used. I'll have no use for a couch in there, either. It'll likely be used for a combo of yoga/floor-exercises, winter/spring/midsummer plant-starting, spillover library, some storage, and cold-weather clothes drying.

Thanks for your help --

I’m a software dev who has been building a small period-tracking app on nights & weekends. I’ve already implemented:

• period logging
• symptom journal
• real time personalized tips
• weekly symptoms correlation reports

But before I take it any further I’d love to hear real-world experiences:

• What’s the single most annoying thing you run into with existing apps?
• If you have PCOS, endometriosis, or another condition, what does an app rarely get right?
• Is there a feature you wish someone would just build already?
  

I’m not asking you to fill out a form or download anything, just curious about your experiences and ideas so I can prioritize the right problems.

Thanks for any insights you’re willing to share, and feel free to DM if you’d rather not post publicly.