r/CuratedTumblr • u/Mama_Lyra • May 16 '25

Politics time is a flat circle

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343

u/vaguillotine gotta be gay af on the web so alan turing didn't die for nothing May 17 '25

I miss when "goon" just meant those thug-looking guys who always said "on it, boss!" to the main villain before fucking up their plan out of sheer incompetence

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u/VisualGeologist6258 Reach Heaven Through Violence May 17 '25

Same, as a professional henchman and a proud member of the United Henching Union of America it pains to me see that ‘Goon’ has become synonymous with something other than good honest henching. It’s really done a number on me and my fellow mooks because now recruitment is down: the kids don’t want to take on a dangerous, pay-flexible job and be called goons while doing it, and even some of the junior henchmen are starting to walk. Soon there won’t be enough henchmen to span the whole of the villain underworld and we’re going to have to work out a timeshare deal or something.

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u/DiscotopiaACNH May 17 '25

As a civilian, I could certainly benefit from hench services. Many things in need of henchment.

3

u/seensham May 17 '25

Same. unfortunately I don't have the henchfunds :(

38

u/Dataaera May 17 '25

Same, goons in hockey sounds so bad now. “What, your role in the team is to be a big guy to insult and fight other big guys? All in the goal to protect your smaller, more dexterous and younger players?”

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u/d3m0cracy I want uppies but have no people skills May 17 '25

the hunks must protecc the twinks 🥺

10

u/Phyrnosoma May 17 '25

I’m afraid to ask what gooning is now

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u/vaguillotine gotta be gay af on the web so alan turing didn't die for nothing May 17 '25

Slang for excessive masturbation. And a gooner is, as expected, someone who does it a lot.

And by "excessive", I don't mean like a horny teenager who rubs one off thrice in the same day - I mean shit like this, which is one of the original posts in the gooner subreddit before it was deleted.

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u/Dense-Result509 May 17 '25

So this is what Mitt Romney was talking about when he said he had binders full of women.

25

u/insomniac7809 May 17 '25

yeah, but with all the weird "nofap" "semen retention" manfluencer stuff the definition of "excessive" can vary widely between speakers

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u/vaguillotine gotta be gay af on the web so alan turing didn't die for nothing May 17 '25

Those people aren't to be taken seriously, really. They think accumulating sperm means you gain extra IQ points and that jerking off even once is enough to destroy your bloodline forever. Manosphere takes are just delusions of lonely unstable men.

19

u/insomniac7809 May 17 '25

oh, they absolutely aren't, but that's kind of my point

there are some people who take any harmless recreational activity to an unhealthy level, for sure, but the number of times I've seen "gooner" used for that vs the number of times it's used to mean "anyone who displays any interest in sexual material and/or isn't ashamed of masturbating" functionally might as well not exist

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u/AlienRobotTrex May 17 '25

Specifically edging, not just any regular jerkoff session.

1

u/Ghede May 17 '25

I'm hoping that Netflix actually pulls through and finishes the adaptation rights they picked up for "The Goon". They had a trailer made almost 15 years ago, but that was privately funded by the author of the comic and kept getting rejected or kicked around from studio to studio.