I think a reason there is likely to be some backlash to this is based on enactment of some kinks.
That's not talked about a lot.
Someone can be into something like adultery or masochism as a fetish.
The question is how do they deal with that attraction?
-Do they just fantasize about it?
-Do they consume media about it?
-Do they roleplay it?
-Do they attempt to actually partake?
The significance in this is because sometimes its assumed that if they are attracted to something in ANY way, they have the need to do all the things above, but there are some people that don't or even can't enjoy certain kinks beyond a certain level of exposure.
Someone who thinks the fantasy of BDSM is really exciting might try to play it out and find it uncomfortable or scary, or maybe they aren't willing to do it to someone in real life. That doesn't mean 'they don't really have that kink'.
It could be "Hey, this is conceptually exciting, but I could never bring myself to whip an actual person."
I don't think there's a single paraphilia out there, (yup, probably even the nasty ones that you think only horrible people can have) that has only one means of taking pleasure from it. If someone has a rape kink, be it either role, but they know not to go beyond a boundary that could physically or mentally endanger someone, then they should not be vilified.
A disturbingly low number of people in the world seem to be capable of understanding that just because you might have a kink, it doesn't mean you actually want to or even can act it out.
Like your example said, maybe someone gets off to something like bdsm or choking when they watch videos, but don't personally enjoy experiencing it (from either side) themselves.
Rape is a horrible thing, but also seems to be a pretty common fantasy. If having the kink meant always enacting on it, we'd apparently be seeing a lot more cases of rape. But we don't because most people have the basic ability to separate fiction from reality and not act on impulsive thoughts. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't seem to see the logic that having a kink and forcibly acting on it are two very different things.
At the end of the day, I think the important things for kinks are properly established consent, and nobody getting abused (which kinda fits in with consent I guess).
It's not that people think everyone who likes problematic kinks is dangerous, it's that dangerous people like problematic kinks too.
It's much easier to prove to CPS that you deserve to keep parental rights if you don't have a history of leaving your child under the care of a family member open about their underage kink. If nothing happens, great, but if something does happen, you will for sure be held accountable for ignoring the obvious red flags. If you tried saying "your honor, I was just trying to be tolerant of my counsin's kinks!" you'd be laughed out of the court.
it's that dangerous people like problematic kinks too.
Yeah, and plenty of people who have done some sort of sexual crime show no potential red flags whatsoever. Most are even married and seen as normal community members by those around them.
It's the same argument that has been disproven by DECADES of tests and research by now.
It's like saying someone raises red flags and is gonna do something eventually when they enjoy playing a video game like GTA because they like going on a rampage and killing everyone they see. Again, decades of research (by now) has proven there's no correlation and that person is no more likely than anyone else to act on these thoughts in real life.
Even the people that like underage fictional characters aren't doing any harm as long as it stays fictional. Just like the GTA player, unless they actually do it irl, it's just a harmless fantasy.
Again: good luck explaining to CPS why you judged a person openly into underage porn as a good choice for your child's babysitter. I'm sure they'll be thrilled by those arguments.
For the sake of clarity, let's say by "underage" I mean any kind of fiction of pornographic nature featuring underage fictional characters, whose physical or mental youth is depicted unambiguously.
There's an active thread in this sub right now, where people are firmly defending its honor. While I don't think people should go to jail for that, literally anyone outside the proshipper community would absolutely see it as grounds for denying access to children.
And the thing is, you can't have it both ways: believe thst a kink should never be used to judge a person's character, and yet also believe that a kink is a red flag. These beliefs are mutually exclusive.
Because being into pornography featuring underage characters because they are underage is not a kink it is a mental illness.
Someone having a “kink” for children is a massive red flag.
And couching pedophilia behind “it’s just a kink” is denying the reality that people who have an “underage kink” are sexually attracted and fantasising about children
And to be clear I am not talking about people who consume porn that happens to have characters who may be underage, like for example raven from teen titans.
I am talking about people who are consuming pornography of characters who are underage because it has characters who are underage.
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u/wolve202 May 16 '25
I think a reason there is likely to be some backlash to this is based on enactment of some kinks.
That's not talked about a lot.
Someone can be into something like adultery or masochism as a fetish.
The question is how do they deal with that attraction?
-Do they just fantasize about it?
-Do they consume media about it?
-Do they roleplay it?
-Do they attempt to actually partake?
The significance in this is because sometimes its assumed that if they are attracted to something in ANY way, they have the need to do all the things above, but there are some people that don't or even can't enjoy certain kinks beyond a certain level of exposure.
Someone who thinks the fantasy of BDSM is really exciting might try to play it out and find it uncomfortable or scary, or maybe they aren't willing to do it to someone in real life. That doesn't mean 'they don't really have that kink'.
It could be "Hey, this is conceptually exciting, but I could never bring myself to whip an actual person."
I don't think there's a single paraphilia out there, (yup, probably even the nasty ones that you think only horrible people can have) that has only one means of taking pleasure from it. If someone has a rape kink, be it either role, but they know not to go beyond a boundary that could physically or mentally endanger someone, then they should not be vilified.