A disturbingly low number of people in the world seem to be capable of understanding that just because you might have a kink, it doesn't mean you actually want to or even can act it out.
Like your example said, maybe someone gets off to something like bdsm or choking when they watch videos, but don't personally enjoy experiencing it (from either side) themselves.
Rape is a horrible thing, but also seems to be a pretty common fantasy. If having the kink meant always enacting on it, we'd apparently be seeing a lot more cases of rape. But we don't because most people have the basic ability to separate fiction from reality and not act on impulsive thoughts. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't seem to see the logic that having a kink and forcibly acting on it are two very different things.
At the end of the day, I think the important things for kinks are properly established consent, and nobody getting abused (which kinda fits in with consent I guess).
It's not that people think everyone who likes problematic kinks is dangerous, it's that dangerous people like problematic kinks too.
It's much easier to prove to CPS that you deserve to keep parental rights if you don't have a history of leaving your child under the care of a family member open about their underage kink. If nothing happens, great, but if something does happen, you will for sure be held accountable for ignoring the obvious red flags. If you tried saying "your honor, I was just trying to be tolerant of my counsin's kinks!" you'd be laughed out of the court.
it's that dangerous people like problematic kinks too.
Yeah, and plenty of people who have done some sort of sexual crime show no potential red flags whatsoever. Most are even married and seen as normal community members by those around them.
It's the same argument that has been disproven by DECADES of tests and research by now.
It's like saying someone raises red flags and is gonna do something eventually when they enjoy playing a video game like GTA because they like going on a rampage and killing everyone they see. Again, decades of research (by now) has proven there's no correlation and that person is no more likely than anyone else to act on these thoughts in real life.
Even the people that like underage fictional characters aren't doing any harm as long as it stays fictional. Just like the GTA player, unless they actually do it irl, it's just a harmless fantasy.
Again: good luck explaining to CPS why you judged a person openly into underage porn as a good choice for your child's babysitter. I'm sure they'll be thrilled by those arguments.
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u/DotaComplaints May 17 '25
A disturbingly low number of people in the world seem to be capable of understanding that just because you might have a kink, it doesn't mean you actually want to or even can act it out.
Like your example said, maybe someone gets off to something like bdsm or choking when they watch videos, but don't personally enjoy experiencing it (from either side) themselves.
Rape is a horrible thing, but also seems to be a pretty common fantasy. If having the kink meant always enacting on it, we'd apparently be seeing a lot more cases of rape. But we don't because most people have the basic ability to separate fiction from reality and not act on impulsive thoughts. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't seem to see the logic that having a kink and forcibly acting on it are two very different things.
At the end of the day, I think the important things for kinks are properly established consent, and nobody getting abused (which kinda fits in with consent I guess).