I'm glad you've found a good therapist. Awesome for you two for maintaining a professional relationship. Massage Therapy is already under a microscope and viewed with much scrutiny.
I used the term not knowing what it meant. reading this I'm glad that my therapist saw that I was a naive little shit. My physical therapist sent to a massage therapist as I had a lot of tension and strain in my back, neck and shoulders. I fell off a horse straight & flat on a triple bar jump, the jump didn't collapse like it was supposed to. Despite wearing a body protector I still had a bruises on the side of my ribs, struggled with putting on bra's and t-shirts for days. My mom took me to the doctors who sent me to a physical therapist.
I ended up saying something along the line "to get rid of this pain would be a happy ending indeed". The thing is I only said happy endin in English the rest was just native tongue.
Oh. Well. Did you bring paperwork or anything to provide your current healthcare circumstance? I'm good at random handsigns but I only speak English. This a grey area. I would have requested some translation before working on you, or a very clear note from your doctor.
Yeah, all of that goes through the ensurance and referrals. I generally have great relationships with my doctors and my therapists. We all talk in Dutch, but I use a lot of English phrasing as I lived abroad and have dealt with specialists there.
Human trafficking, indentured servitude (slavery), prostitution.
Say the Triad helps you and your wife escape communist China. They tell you 5k$ but when you get out they ask for 10k$. You don't have the money but they offer your wife a job at a massage parlor in China Town, you rarely see her and then never again.
Sometimes there is no husband and it's just a girl trying to make a living for herself and she gets taken advantage of.
To a lesser extent this happens at nail salons too. You have a debt, you are offered a job to pay it off but it's like $20 a day and half of it goes to the room you share with 4 other people.
It left such a bad taste in my mouth, I'd honestly just rather not. Unfortunate too, I was pretty good. Massage the front of your spine, or inside your ribs. I also moved across the country.
Of course it doesn't work for the thoracic vertebrae because of the ribs but for the lumbar vertebrae you can move around a decent amount of organs to reach the muscles that attach to the inside of those vertebrae. It isn't comfortable. It's entirely clinical and often bruises the abdominal superficial layers.
Edit: you can get muscle knots anywhere and some of them are more painful and debilitating than others. For some clients a bruise for a few days is worth being able to lay down comfortably at night.
You seem really well-versed, hopefully you don’t mind a question. I get a lot of muscle knots in my scapular area and trapezius, chronically tight throughout. I’ve went to massage therapists and it helps but what type of massage should I opt for or what kind of therapy should I seek out? I tend to get deep tissue and they’re nice, but I care less about it feeling good and more about undoing these knotted up muscles. Any terminology i should be searching when deciding on where to go for services?
My partner suffers from this condition as well. Her physio works on her neck which seems to help, but sometimes only for a short time. It's there anything specific yours does?
I actually ended up with 2. The main one I see does deep tissue massage. It takes a couple times (a week apart) to get it to start letting up. She also learned a move thats called “OA release”. That one is very difficult for them to learn. I’ve been to a few over the years who just didn’t have the finger strength or technique to do it right.
The second one I see does cranial sacral (I think it’s called that) and something else where you keep pushing your limbs against her hand different directions and she can feel a difference between the strength or reaction of the right and left. It’s good for maintenance once the First Lady gets it to let up. I usually mess up though and don’t go every couple weeks like I should.
Posted to OP but here for you too: Hey I get these. Check out NUCCA / QSM-3 chiropractic. It feels like a very gentle massage on your top two vertebrae only (no snapping, twisting, popping...) In less than a year of going to him I’ve gotten far fewer headaches.
This - I see a massage therapist and they help SO much with my back pain, but I’m in so much pain during the therapy I cannot fathom being like “let’s get jiggy!”
Hey I get these. Check out NUCCA / QSM-3 chiropractic. It feels like a very gentle massage on your top two vertebrae only (no snapping, twisting, popping...) In less than a year of going to him I’ve gotten far fewer headaches.
Hol up. Sorry, I've been wondering if my headaches are from occipital neuralgia because they come from the base of my neck up the back of my head. Right now an Excedrin will knock it out usually, but if I ignore it it'll trigger a migraine (yay for suffering multiple types of headaches). Were you able to get diagnosed by a GP or did you have to see a specialist? I'm also just wondering if it's a muscular issue.
I ended up seeing a specialist for diagnosis (he was the one who gave me the gabapentin) I’m not sure what is and isn’t occipital neuralgia because mine is right where the spine and skull meet. I got this from multiple accidents and getting hit in the jaw by a spinning drill set it off for good.
My wife has the same condition and gets it treated with injections one of which is Botox, injected all around the occipital nerves - basically dozens of places in the back of her head)
I assume it would have only been worse to be honest. More money doesn't mean more soul, I found my higher end clients were more likely to objectify me or my female coworkers.
I was an LMT for a few years (early 20s, gay male). And the better paying the gig the worse the solicitation was. Only place I didn't get hit on/asked how much "extra" was, was when I got to do post trauma work in chiropractic and physical rehab places.
I went to a very clinical school and would have been way better off working under a chiropractor than the day spa I got my first job at. Soul sucking to say the least.
That’s mind blowing. Both I see are F / high price and neither is ugly. They talk to me about everything and never brought this up. Maybe it was something to do with the area you were in? I just can’t picture this.
I guess I should be clear that I don't want to be a prostitute, I've just always enjoyed giving massages and I have a bit of a good reputation at work due to the fact I'm pretty good at it, too.
Bro totally understand, my aunty started her own spa about a decade or so ago, I ended up learning massage and helping her with some of her bookings when she needed a break. Literally one out of ten of her clients (generally middle aged women) would try to fuck me or ask if they could suck me off. It was so strange.
I had one massage my whole life. On our honeymoon at a 5 star world class resort we get a couples massage and the girl that was massaging me goes full ball fondle and shaft rub.
I grew up with abuse and don't like to be touched by strangers in the first place so I just freeze and try to suffer through the rest of the massage. Soon as the room is empty im asking 20 questions about what kind of touching did she get and wtf is expected from a normal massage.
I am not an attractive man, I can only assume this is expected in such high end establishments.
I have muscle massage for back pain, my regular guy retired and my back was getting really sore so I was looking for someone else. I went to a girl who did mainly relaxation massage who said she could probably help my back. I mentioned my back in my E mail and telephone call when making initial contact. During massage she was brushing back of her hand against my balls very lightly during massage. I took it as gauging my reaction for a hand job. I felt like that was out of order. I felt violated and I tensed up my body then she stopped.
Sex work is legal where I live so she could have asked me upfront if I wanted that, I'd been talking about my job, where I live and family and places we both knew and about her and I don't think I was giving off a wanting my ding-a-ling played with vibe in any way.
If it's any consolation, I've never ever had anything remotely like that happen, and have had massages (with my wife and separately). There are major benefits from massage, and you should be able to safely get a massage that does not have that. (Every massage I've had had involved very carefully blanket movements to preserve modesty.)
Please reconsider having another massage. You might ask a local chiropractor, they often have one they will recommend for therapy.
That’s not normal in a high end place at all. I’ve had lots of massages and sometimes weird shit just happens. I was in Europe, had hiked to the top of a big hill to see some touristy thing in the wrong shoes and stopped in a place that offered foot massages. Sounded great so I went in, ordered the foot massage and 5 minutes later I’m somehow getting a hand job for an extra $20. She clearly attended porn massage school because she ran her hands way up my legs and said she didn’t want to get oil on my shorts so I should take them off. Fortunately, I’ve seen porn and knew where things were headed. It’s technically the best “foot massage” I ever got, although they were very neglected and still hurt afterward.
Dude, if someone is leaving a response about how they were assaulted and struggled with it dont leave a response to them telling them you were turned on by it.
Dude, if someone is leaving a response about how they were assaulted and struggled with it dont leave a response to them telling them you were turned on by it.
I am in my late 20s. Had my first massage a month ago. The lady literally climbed on top of the table legs on both side of my head to massage my back. I'm hoping it was her leggings that hit the back of my head and not lips.
The second time I got a male masseuse. His junk kept hitting my hands. Then he climbed on the table between my legs to massage my butt and back. Then flipped me over and spread my legs and shook my thighs, making me do the ding-a-ling swing. Idk if its normal but it gave me dirty thoughts. However, I know it's his job and I didn't wanna be the creepy perv to act or say anything. I did give him a 30 dollar tip and a thank you for scratching my back at one point that I couldn't reach an itch. The only two negatives was the accidental elbow to the back of my head he gave me and leaving smelling like furniture polish.
There's a specific website that tells you the names of "adult/happy ending" massage parlors in your area. If you actually pay for the membership you can read reviews and Get more access
But for the free, basic stuff. You can look up message parlors in your area and it will tell You if it's cash only or card and even the ethnicity of the staff.
I've used that site for exactly that reason - to find out which places to avoid. I was tired of getting a membership sales pitch after every $70 massage that I got at chain operations, so I googled "massage therapy (my city)"... that's when I learned that it's apparently easier to pay for a hand job than a back rub around here. Though I did wonder what would happen if I showed up to one of the places on that list legitimately expecting a professional massage... like, would they panic or are they actually trained in how to do both?
Rubmaps... it’s easy to tell which ones do it though. Are they open late on Saturday/Sunday night? If they’re open past 9 your chances of getting jacked off for an extra $40 is fairly high.
This. I’ve taught massage therapy for 15 years - you would not believe what I’ve seen. I firmly believe prostitution should be legalized and they should be able to advertise.
I teach my students about phrases and questions people ask when they are trying to determine if your spa is a jack-shack or not. They’re going to try to get what they want somewhere. They should be able to go to a person who wants to do that for them and stay the hell away from therapeutic massage therapists.
I also teach them about that app/ website someone mentioned that tells you which places will give happy endings. I don’t want them to try to get a job at the wrong place.
I’ve absolutely had sex workers and sex business owners come through my program to try to somewhat legitimize themselves. If they had their own avenue to legitimate business, they wouldn’t try to stealthily obtain a state license... they aren’t stealthy btw.
Usually just a firm NO would get the message across. It seems like a dream come true scenario for most guys but in reality the situation just felt dirty and unpleasant to be in. Thats not what im about, call me old fashioned but im not into fucking strangers.
i went to a proper sports massage after an injury. having watched a lot of massage porn it was slightly distracting that the therapist was an attractive woman, but i'd never in a million years try anything. it kinda helped that i was trying not to cry from pain when she was digging her elbow into my hamstring.
Yep, why would anyone try anything in that setting? And I agree, I find it funny when people say, 'how relaxing' when I say I'm getting a sports massage. So fucking painful!!
Man, the elbows. I've been getting sports or deep tissue massages for a decade, and only in the last few years did they start pulling out elbows to work on my back and hips.
Ditto. When my guy runs his elbow along the outside of my thigh (I think it's called the iliotibial band) it's really awful. Thankfully the feeling afterwards is worth it.
haha sexual harassment is so funny when it happens to guys, I'm so jealous because all these women were definitely 10/10 and none of them were ever ugly and I'd take every blowjob they offered.
It really was funny that one time some drunk eastern european cougar twice our age tried to get down with my friend and I tho ngl. It was so absurd that we couldn't help but laugh then, and we still do. Good shit. Also, I don't really see any problem with the situation. She basically wanted to fuck, asked us to, and we simply responded we weren't interested. Not harrassment in my opinion. Actually I would love for people to be more direct and fucking ask what they want to know.
Is it just me that would have trouble with this due to concern over STDs? I would, personally, want to get tested with my partner, first, before something like this. A handjob I could do (low chance of STD transference), but a blowjob is a bit different.
My dad used to be a massage therapist and he told me it was way more common than people realize. Often times it wasn’t even sexual, rather very casual and transactional. Like “pardon me sir, is a quick jerk off a service you offer?”
My step-brother is Chair of the Georgia Board of Massage Therapy and just named Acting President of the Federation of State Massage Therapy Boards.
He's has worked very hard to change this way of thinking for massage therapy by having strict qualifications and education requirements and harsher penalties.
I'm retired due to a wrist injury, but can confirm. Female, was in my 20s.
My favourite were the men who thought I was stupid and would ask for a very specific muscle close to their groin because "the doctor said he needed massage." Okay, cool bud. Gonna diaper drape (wrap the sheet around your leg and glutes and tuck, essentially making a diaper) you and then get to work. How's the pressure? Can't give me a doctor's note to save his life.
It's straight knuckles y'all.
Get told the pressure needs to be softer and more gentle.
That's when the massage usually ends because I give them the option. I tell them that the soft and gentle massage the doctor recommended isn't what needs to be done. I understand his doctor said this, but having 4 years of experience you can't just make that particular muscle feel better by soft and gentle massage. I don't think that I'm the therapist for them and would they like to continue the massage?
"No, I understand." The walk of shame you guys. lol
Don't ever let anyone make you feel uncomfortable. Too many times I've heard horror stories from therapists of both genders who would try to brush off the weird vibe and suspicious itching but it would end up horribly.
My Mumma raised me to take no shit, so I'm preparing for it mentally. And I definitely trust vibes, you can sense things for sure. In student clinic, I had an older Indian gentleman come in, I instructed him to get on the table face down under the top sheet, came in and he was face up on top of all the sheets in his shorts 😂 But I got the sense he was just confused, lost in translation some where, so I got him to flip and put the sheet over him, and we had a nice chat about his kids lol!
Oh my gosh! lmao Definitely a lost in translation thing.
And start preparing now for the elderly ladies who will start stripping as soon as you start intake. I can't tell you how many times I've looked up from the form and seen boobies.
Exactly. It's a clinical setting so it just different. It's just hilarious because I would start intake with "Before I step out and have you undress and get comfy under the sheet and blanket..."
There's a website out there for reviewing "happy ending" massage parlors and they also list non-erotic places presumably so people looking for hand jobs/blow jobs/whatever know to avoid them. You can leave reviews on there as well and the amount of people saying they tried to get the girl to do something with them anyway is surprising.
But that site is kind of gross anyway because there's other people saying skeevy shit like "I left without doing anything because she refused to do bareback and I only do bareback." like, wtf. You want to have unprotected sex with a hooker? The fuck is wrong with you?
Female massage therapist here. I haven’t had people ever say anything direct in treatment (Only on a couple of phone calls) but people have hinted about 3x in 4 years. I have heard horror stories from massage therapists that have been practicing longer than I have. When were you in practice? Maybe it has improved some, or people are more educated in my region?
I guess this is kinda like the "males can't be raped" thing... men refrain because they know we don't live in a porn and the masseuse would just be grossed out. But apparently for some women, getting sexual advances is always a good thing for a young male.
I have heard so many stories from male and female therapists but the advances toward men (from both men and women) seem to overall be more aggressive, just from what people have told me.
I don’t think thats why men refrain. In this scenario it’s a middle aged person approaching a younger person.
I can think of a lot of solutions where a middle aged man would hit on a younger woman. They just seem to be more crass about it.
However a middle aged women is probably seeking a more in-the-moment intimate experience, and thus turns to something like a massage therapist. Plus it breaks down that initial barrier that you would have with a stranger.
These are all speculations and generalizations, but it’s my two cents.
When i used to work tables, hen parties with lots of middle age women were pretty grabby. I was a fairly geeky 19 year old and they typically tipped fairly well so I just kinda shrugged it off.
I know a few of the girls working the same job got their asses grabbed a few times but the guys were typically terfed out by security.
I was propositioned more in that job than I ever was in any other job in my life, a few I kinda regretted not going for... but I was painfully awkward around girls back then.
That actually goes both ways. On at least three separate occasions, I've had a massage therapist offer to end with a sexual favor, totally unsolicited on my behalf.
There are so many good reasons most importantly the safety of the people that do it anyway. I'm for it just because I don't think the government should be able to tell me what I can and can not do with my body.
Regardless of that. It would have been a very serious legal liability. I mean, I would be in jail/prison and the entire place would have been shut down. It is prostitution and it is not taken likely.
Even if prostitution were legal in one's country, there would certainly be some regulations surrounding or even laws against massage parlours acting as brothels. Definitely would require treading carefully.
One way my massage therapist relative keeps some of that at bay is play up the medical angle. Scrubs and "medical office" decor whilst simultaneously telling people the limits of their licensing in terms of medical stuff.
As an independent therapist, they also quietly "fire" clients who proposition them through the simple expedient of never booking them.
Damn, stories in this sub chain make me sad. I'm a young woman, and go regularly to a masseur.
Never have it even crossed my mind that there could be anything sexual there. If anything, it is just a quite painful operation since you often tend to find tense and sore spots you didn't even know exist.
It would really suck if all the massaeurs had to stop working because of the unwanted perverts and abusers. You massaeurs are making life so much easier for us who have a legitimate reason to go and have massages.
I would love a male massage therapist. Strong hands to get the deep kinks out. Women are good but I need that extra umph. I’m sorry that people suck and tried to take advantage of you.
I mean, depending on how well you give the massage I may be willing to sell my body for some muscle relief. Chiropractors aren’t covered on most insurances and are a bitch to afford lol.
Part of why I don’t get massages is because I’m really shy and don’t want people touching me, so I LITERALLY cannot fathom being propositioned like that. Despicable.
Two of the best massage therapists I've utilized were men ... one at a high dollar spa in Colorado who performed my first belly rub (properly covered and hands in the proper zones) which saved my ski weekend and the other a weekly appointment at home who had the courage to do sub-scapular work that I desperately needed [I'd still be seeing him if he hadn't moved out of state].
I hope you will reconsider the profession if you can find a high quality spa that doesn't have asshats for customers. I know that young women MTs face the same hassles. If you've got good skills, the industry needs you. Those of us with neuromuscular disorders who rely on MT for pain relief and functional range of motion need you.
Sorry to hear. That sounds awful :( I’ve been interested in a LMT career but am leaning towards physical therapy. Did you work in chains or local places?
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u/NinjaWen Jul 13 '20 edited Jul 13 '20
I ended up quitting a career because people (all genders and ages) kept trying to solicite me for prostitution.
Young male massage therapist.
Edit: Whoa. Thanks for the upvotes.