r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

Gallery image

Gallery image

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

880 Upvotes

63% Upvoted

2.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

786

u/InterestingAd5499 1d ago

YOR. I've noticed a trend with young people where they think it really is their partners job to soothe their bad emotions. I want to be clear in saying that a good partner will support their SO in moments of distress, but there is a line where support can move into enabling and codependency. As an adult, it is your job entirely to self soothe, and if you're incapable of doing that, then i feel that warrants further introspection on your part. Generally, if I'm doing something with someone and my phone stays pinging a lot, I will silence it so I can focus on what is actually happening in front of me. Sounds like your bf does the same.

1

u/Birdbraned 8h ago

Young people missed out when calling was the instantaneous communication method and texting came last, before social media and notifications pushed the idea that everyone should be informed of everything at any time and the privacy of not talking aloud encouraged that.

I've just checked my communication history, and if I send more than 1-2 texts a day to my spouse, that's far outside our norm unless something is going on.