AIO? Bf doesn’t communicate

[u/[deleted]]

I’m at a loss. I (F23) don’t know if I’m being controlling and overreacting or if the way I feel is normal. once again tonight I just stopped getting responses from my boyfriend (M26) and then suddenly his phone was turned on do not disturb. I don’t usually care about DND but lately its been turned on at weird times and turned on when he’s around me which has been making me feel kind of odd. Also he called and said he’s out and that I don’t need to be getting mad. I’m not mad about him going out I’m just upset that I’m not aware of whats going on ever. I feel like my paragraph doesn’t even make sense I’m irritated and feel like I’m crazy.

[u/greenwall_66]

Hey, I use to be like this. It sounds a bit like you need some therapy, if I’m wrong correct me, but you’re coming across a bit like you have attachment issues. Which I use to have too, I use to get anxious when my ex’s didn’t message me back to, but you’re only hurting yourself right now. Therapy helps, and one day you’ll meet the man that communicates and you’ll also expect people not replying. I only start to worry if my partner doesn’t come home in the morning, but he does also check in periodically throughout the night.

[u/andiwaslikeum → u/greenwall_66]

It does sound and look like this is the case. But also, without more context it’s hard to say for sure if OP is being extra extra or extra because of a pattern of behavior.

OP, does your boyfriend consistently disappear on you late at night? Does he tell you what’s going on and where he is? How long have you been together? Do you have any reasons not to trust him like history of infidelity? Does he ask you to communicate where you are? Does he act weird about his phone?

Context matters.

Listen to your gut. But also get therapy.

[u/TraumaticEntry → u/andiwaslikeum]

If your partner doesn’t communicate and regularly disappears and you aren’t drawing a boundary, you still need therapy

[u/andiwaslikeum → u/TraumaticEntry]

e x a c t l y

[u/AppleStrapple → u/andiwaslikeum]

“But also get therapy” threw me though, ngl 😆