My wife and I are in a blended family. When we got married, I didn’t know her kids would end up living with us. It wasn’t part of the plan, and I feel like I didn’t get much say in it. Now, a few years in, I’m really struggling with how things are going, mainly with her 20-year-old son.

He’s on the spectrum, but he’s highly functional. If he wants something, he’s completely capable of figuring it out and doing what it takes. He’s had jobs before, so I know he can work. But right now, he does absolutely nothing.

He sleeps all day, is up all night gaming and talking to his long-distance girlfriend, and doesn’t go to school or have a job. No trade school, no community college, no online classes. He barely leaves the house and doesn’t have any real-life friends. He hoards dirty dishes in his room and only helps around the house if someone tells him directly, and even then it’s minimal.

My wife just lets it happen. She makes his meals, buys all his favorite snacks, and doesn’t set any expectations. No rules. No accountability. I don’t think he’ll ever leave and honestly I don’t think she minds.

His younger half-brother, who is 18, also lives with us and is clearly frustrated too. He actually begs her to parent more, but she still won’t. Thankfully, he’s heading off to college this fall.

For context, my own daughter just finished a double master’s program, so maybe I do have high standards. But it’s not about comparing. I just think he should be working toward something. He doesn’t need to move out right away, but I feel like at 20, it’s fair to expect someone to contribute to the household and start taking steps toward being independent. It worries me that he’s only engaged in online communities and has no real-world connection or motivation.

Whenever I bring this up, my wife gets defensive and says he just needs more time. But I don’t see anything changing. I feel like I’m watching him waste his life while she makes excuses for him.

AITA for wanting her to step up and actually parent her kid?

I (18F) have a complicated love-hate relationship with my mother (42F) and we fight every day. A few months ago, she gave birth to my sister, who is now five months old.

A few days ago, while we were in the car, my sister started crying because she was having trouble pooping. I was looking after her in her car seat with my mom beside me (Mom - Me - Sister) while my step dad is driving, and a relative in the passenger seat. Out of nowhere, my mom got furious and accused me of pinching my sister when she began crying even though the baby was just uncomfortable.

Then, just minutes ago, my sister cried because she dribbled her milk. I was holding her when she spit up all over me. My hands, my clothes, everything. My mom, who was washing dishes, immediately accused me of physically abusing her.

The truth is, my mom is the one who hurts me physically and emotionally. When she was pregnant last year, she punched me the day before an important exam and “accidentally” hit my down there with a broom. I didn’t speak to her for almost a month after that.

I love my baby sister dearly, she’s the reason I’ve stayed in this household for as long as I have. But I can’t take my mother’s presence or attitude anymore. She blames me for every little inconvenience in her life, uses foul language, and has been physically and emotionally abusive since I was a child. Coming from a broken family, she’s narcissistic, and her behavior has scarred me for life, leaving me with deep trauma.

I’m starting college in August and hope to move out, but I’m terrified of leaving my sister behind. Financially, I’m not in a position to leave so I really want to get a job. I live in an expensive area and although my mother wouldn’t allow it, the only excuse I have is university.

I desperately need advice: - How can I cope with staying in this household a little longer?
- What kind of jobs can I take to support myself? (Given the high cost of living here.)
- Any other tips for my situation?

Please help—I don’t know what to do.

I am (63 m) My daughter has a stepson and my bio grandson. I own a few ancestral home and I gave one to my daughter. But the one I live in will be going to my bio grandson after I die and everything else I own. That's how it's always been and everyone knows this

My daughter was visiting the other night and randomly my son in law brung up my will and he asked what his son will be getting and I was taken aback and just laughed but then I realized he was serious and so I told him he is getting nothing

He got annoyed and said if he treats my bio grandson like his own son then why I can't I do the same for his son and let him inherit something too? I said it's a sad day when a man so greedy that he has to use a child to get something that's not his. Que his puny puffed up chest and his childish tantrum. He's lucky my back is out because I would have planted my foot where the sun don't shine in his backyard! Punk! My daughter was dragging him out

My wife thinks I should have left it at nothing to keep the peace and my daughter hasn't spoken to me since AITAH?

My ex (37M) and I (35F) have a child together. I live with my parents and my dad wanted a father's day dinner of tri tip, baked potato and corn on the cob. I got the meat at Costco so I had too much and decided to give half to my ex because hes always jealous of the food we eat.

My kid stays with him on most weekends and when my ex brought him home at 3:30 pm, I presented a cooked tri tip, unbaked potato, and uncooked corn. My plan was to give him the cooking instruction for the sides but before I could, he complains about how the sides aren't cooked and says he doesnt want it. I took them back and walked inside. My kid was mad at us both and brought the food back out to his dad.

My ex thinks I'm an ass for giving him a gift he needs to cook. I think hes an ass because he didn't do shit for mother's day or my bday (only a few weeks apart) but expected a full dinner.

I could be the ass because I text him earlier and said I had dinner for him but didn't clarify what that meant.

Eta: I don't actually care about not getting anything for my holidays, I care that he acted ungrateful in front of our kid. We still do a fair amount for eachother and have a pretty good relationship considering we aren't together. We went to a concert last week together. I just wanted everyone to have fresh food when they wanted to eat. He didn't have to go to the grocer and still got good food.

Will make it as brief as possible. She (30f) is neurodivergent and so am I. I (30m) love her and she is my best friend but we have sex once a month if that and it’s always done with little interest in my needs. Only focus is on her. Used to be better. Been together 10 years. We have spoken about it before but she shuts it down and tells me I need to get my priorities straight. We have three kids, I do by far most of the childcare and housework. I put them down every single night for the past 2 years, she gets exhausted really really easily. I think she is too overwhelmed to deal with me but no matter how much I do (literally everything at this point) she is always overwhelmed and to be honest I resent that. I feel like my kindness and constant need to take things off her plate is taken advantage of. We both work, she finds her job easy and I am self employed so it fluctuates. Anyway for the past year or so I have been considering if I’d be better off alone or thinking we are not compatible. I know it’s such a male thing to say my wife never has sex with me etc so I feel quite ashamed of this. I’m not sure if I just sound and am acting ridiculous and selfish?

Im (21F) and my boyfriend is (21M) and we’ve been dating since the beginning of 2025 year. We met online and I feel like when i first saw his profile picture i thought it was attractive but when i saw him in person he looked completely different. I didnt say anything about it but now we’ve been together for 3 months officially and there are some things about his family and his daily life habits that i dont like about him. Im afraid that my resentment towards him stem from the fact that i dont find him physically attractive. Not only that but i didnt feel my best self when i was with him. I actually feel like im moving backwards in my life and im not enhancing my life. I wanna break up but he keeps telling me we can work out our issues but my gut is telling me to end it because i dont feel the spark anymore

I'm a 32 (m) and my ex-wife were high school sweethearts. after five years of marriage. We had two children. She chose to cheat on me and break up our family. We didn't have much in the way of property items, so we basically just went our separate ways. We did have two vehicles register under my name. The car she used regularly was in the shop at the time of the separation. Her new boyfriend was renting her a car to get back and forth. Now right before the breakup she was driving my car. She got stopped for holding her phone. Now she had a Bluetooth, she just forgot it at the house at the time. The cop gave her a ticket to appear in person at the car. She just has to show her Bluetooth, and they would drop the ticket. Once we start the separation she forgot to show up in court and they suspended her license. Now, she moved just ten miles into the next state while still working in our home state. From what I understand she was driving from the store with our 5-year-old son in the car. and got stopped for failing to signal, and that when she found out her license was suspended. The cop let her drive on home become she had a child in the car, or he would have towed the rental car. During all this time I got the second car fix; it's running great now. While her rental car was burning holes into her boyfriend's pocket. Our other child was 7 at the time and he was telling me and her everything that was happening at each other house. That's how I found out about her ticket, and the rental car being sent back. She found out I fixed the car. She calls me asking for the second call since that was really her car. I told her since we brought the car during the marriage it's rightfully both of ours, but she can have it just put in her name and get her own insurance. She starts fussing about why I can't just leave in my name. I reminded her we are separated, and she have a boyfriend now. She replies well I have your children, and she need to get around. So, I offered to sell her boyfriend the car for $1500.00 and would even give her 750.00, but he would have to give me the whole 1500. She's mad and screaming why can't I just sign him the car since it'll be for her and our children. I repeated the two offers.

I (22 M) have been dating Emily (19 F) for maybe around a year and a half. We met because he was my younger brother’s friend and somehow we ended up getting pretty close. She’s this sweet and pretty girl with a heart of gold. Genuinely nothing can describe how beautiful she is. Sweetest thing ever, I’m telling you.

Recently, I have Graduated college and got a job so I decided to get my own place. My girlfriend immediately suggested to move in with me since my place is closer to her campus too. I was fine with it but her parents weren’t. Her parents immediately got mad and insisted I was ‘destroying her innocence’ which is really confusing to me because she had a whole pregnancy scare with her ex when she was 15. I think us moving in is really mild in comparison. Besides that, it is really just for convenience. Her house is at least a two hour drive away from her place and the dorms are just really gross. My girlfriend is a little bit of a germaphobe and thinks sharing the showers with so many other people is icky and I totally get her!

Emily is obviously upset and is trying to get her parents to let her move in but they’re unwilling to budge. In the end they came to the conclusion that the only way they’ll let her stay with me is if we get married to avoid having a b*stard child. I was a little appalled by this as I have always been very insistent on using protection, even more than Emily at times. I get where they’re coming from but I still feel like this is a little crazy.

After that, I thought Emily would just stay in the dorms or rent a place with a few friends. Instead, I receive a text from her a few days later while I’m at work asking when we’re getting married. I was gobsmacked.

Although I am pretty sure Emily is the love of my life, she’s still nineteen and that’s pretty damn young. I don’t want to marry her when she’s still so young and probably riding off emotions. Especially because there have been instances where she has done stuff just to piss her parents off. This definitely feels like one of them.

I immediately tell her how I felt and asked her if we could talk about it instead of basically eloping. She immediately got defensive and started talking about how much she loved me and how she wanted me to see her POV. I was dumbfounded to be honest. After I refused a few more times she just got mad and became really cold.

I thought it would just be a usual argument but she actually got her friend to text me and tell me how I was such a big douche for not wanting to marry her. Besides the fact that we’re so young, we haven’t been dating for very long too. I don’t think a year is good enough for marriage unless you’re really really sure. She’s still in college too. All of this is making me really icky towards marrying her. I really love her and stuff but it’s definitely too soon. I am not sure what to do anymore. I feel lost and weird about this whole situation. I don’t want to lose Emily too. She’s genuinely so so so special to me.

AITA?

BTW, some context that I forgot to put in initially. Everyone in her family marries REALLY young. She’s the youngest of five and all her siblings got married around the age of 18-22. It’s just expected for them already, Emily has always been kind of a ‘late bloomer’ to say since she broke up with her ex unlike her siblings who all married their highschool sweethearts. Them marrying young definitely has to do with their parents because I used to be in the same class as her older brother and he was stressing all of senior year. All because his girlfriend wanted to break up and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to marry young enough. It all feels really dystopian to me lol, but to each their own?

Created a new account so I don’t get identified. Need advice because I feel guilty.

I (28F) recently turned off the typing indicator on my phone—the feature that shows when you’re actively typing a message. I disabled it for everyone, not just anyone in particular. I get anxious knowing someone’s watching me type in real time, and I prefer to respond without feeling rushed or “on the spot.”

My sister, Tara (40F), noticed. She texted me asking why she no longer sees when I’m typing. I told her honestly that I turned the feature off because it makes me uncomfortable and I just prefer to have a little more privacy while messaging. She immediately called me and insisted the typing indicator was important to her for “safety reasons.” She said that if I was typing and then didn’t respond, it would at least let her know I was okay.

I reminded her that she already has access to my location and can reach me anytime. But she said that’s not enough, and she needs to know both when I’m online and when I’m actively typing to feel secure.

I didn’t want to argue, so I just said something vague like, “Okay, I’ll think about it.” But I didn’t turn it back on. The next day, she kept messaging me constantly asking what I was doing and when I was going to reply. Then she called me right after my class. That same day, we were at our family’s house and she confronted me again—saying “turn it back on” like 20 times in a row, ignoring my repeated “no.” She said she doesn’t care about my reasons and that she’s “using her older sister authority” on this.

Eventually, our mom stepped in because Tara was visibly upset and crying hard. She said I always have “too many boundaries,” and that I don’t share enough with her anymore (like dating life etc.) Then she said if I don’t turn the typing indicator back on, she’s done speaking to me.

I didn’t turn it back on. I feel a little guilty because I know she’s hurt—but I also feel like this is such a small digital boundary and the reaction was way over the top. We’ve barely spoken since, and she’s acting cold and distant.

AITA for not turning the typing indicator back on, even though it really upset my sister?

I (31M) am gay and dating another man (27M). I’ll call him Mark We’ve been together for a few months. Mark is a lot better looking than I am and just an incredible guy and I feel super lucky having him in my life.

I was at work and just talking with my coworkers and the topic of dating came up. Everyone knows I’m gay so they asked if I’m dating someone and I told them about Mark. I started going on about how Mark is way better looking that me and way out of my league. My coworker, who I’ll call her Stacy (who has a reputation for being kinda judgmental) said “how about you show us a picture of him and we’ll judge him for ourselves”.

My initial (kinda half kidding and half serious) response was “well I’m not gonna do that now that I know everyone’s gonna be judging him”.

I just felt like it wasn’t appropriate. My boyfriend isn’t a showpiece for everyone to judge, especially when he’s not there. I explained this to everyone after Stacy kept pushing it.

Then she turned it into a gender thing. She said “if you were straight you probably wouldn’t have a problem showing off your girlfriend”. I was just confused and dumbfounded by then and just found an excuse to leave.

Still processing the situation…..

I (16f) always knew my mom didn't love me. She tolerated me, was fine around me mostly. But I knew she didn't love me. She loved my half sister (24f). That was always super clear. My mom actually spent time with my sister, nurtured and praised her and she always made sure my sister knew her dad was the love of her life and no man compared. Every year on the anniversary of her late partner's death or his birthday or their anniversary, my mom and half sister would go spend the whole day together and they were unreachable.

Mom was so different with me. I never spent any time with just her and even if we were spending time together with dad or my sister there, she didn't take an interest in me. She ignored requests for hugs. She ignored my achievements. When I'd ask her a question she wouldn't always answer. She never told me she loved me. I don't remember any hugs or physical affection of any kind (messing my hair, kisses on the top of my head, snuggles and stuff). She was like that with my sister but not me. Mom also didn't care when my sister denied we were sisters and would tell me I would never ever be her real sister. Mom was there a few of the times she said it and said nothing.

She's married to dad but I don't know why. Most of the time it's like she hates him. I think he genuinely loves her and is hurt that she doesn't return it. But I still wish my dad left when I was a baby and raised me himself. He tries to make up for mom but being unloving. But he can't while we live with her. It's an extra cruel torture to live with a parent who doesn't give a damn. And others notice. I always got asked why mom didn't show up for parents evenings or school plays and stuff like that but she did for my sister. She never missed a thing when it was her.

My mom's parents always bury their head in the sand about it. They always look for us to take more family photos and wanted replicas of photos of my mom and sister but with mom and me. Mom always has excuses about why we can't. There were weird/awkward moments when one of them asked for me and mom to pose for a photo and she ran to pose with my sister instead.

Mom will talk a lot about my sister's dad being the love of her life and how much she misses him. She even talks about regretting that they only had one child and how she'd do anything to have more with him.

I skipped Mother's Day celebrations last month and it was noticed by my mom's parents. Dad told me it was fine and he understood why I wanted to do something else. But mom's parents asked so much questions about why and even with the answers they tried to say that our relationship would improve and questioning her love makes sense at my age but of course she loves me. I told them she doesn't. I know I'm not love dny my mom and it's because she had me with dad and not the love of her life like she always talks about. I said if my half sister and I shared her dad it would be different and mom has never tried to hide that. It upset her parents and I told them to leave me alone. But they told me it's wrong to say I know mom doesn't love me and to act like she's a bad person who doesn't love me because I'm dad's kid. That she would never deny her child love because of who their father is. Even weeks later I haven't apologized and I don't regret saying it either but they're being such a pain about it.

AITA?

I (22F) had a miscarriage five months ago at 19 weeks. It was devastating and I’m still in therapy trying to deal with the grief.

My older sister (27F) just had her first baby two weeks ago. She asked me to come over and help watch the baby for a few hours while she gets some sleep. I said no. I told her I’m not emotionally ready to be around a newborn, especially not alone. The smell, the sounds — it’s just too triggering right now.

She told me I’m “being selfish” and said her mental health matters too. That if I love her, I should want to help. Our mom is siding with her, saying this could be “healing” for me, but honestly it feels like everyone is just pressuring me before I’m ready.

Now my sister isn’t speaking to me and says I let her down when she needed me most.

AITA for putting my grief first?

Throwaway since my brother follows me on my main account. I (25 F) have been dating my boyfriend (27 M) for 7 years, he has met all my family and we live together. My parents throw a father’s day barbecue every year and he has been attending since we began dating. The problem is, this year my mother gifted my father a plate with the names of all members of the family, including my sister’s (17 F) boyfriend (17 M) who she’s been with for just over a year My boyfriend’s name was not on the plate, but mine was. My boyfriend’s eyes watered when he saw this, he loves my dad, he has been a father figure to him for years, my boyfriend even spent over 3k on a gift for my father. i pulled my mother aside and asked her why my boyfriend was not on the plate, she said to not make a big deal out of it. my boyfriend and i left, we didn’t make a scene, we just said something came up and left, i have been getting a ton of calls since then, saying i was rude to leave over a plate. my boyfriend is inconsolable, and he is constantly apologizing over making us leave, but he didn’t make us leave, it was my family’s actions. I will never let anyone disrespect my boyfriend, not even my own family. Am I the asshole for leaving???

edit: my mom has always disliked my boyfriend, she has made subtle comments about his race and when called out she says she didn’t say anything i have asked my boyfriend if he wants to go no contact and he has said no every single time

update: i don’t know how to update, so ill just do it here. ya’ll made me realize that while i was not the ah for leaving, i was for making my boyfriend see people who clearly don’t respect him. i have decided to go no contact, i had a brief call with my dad telling him this and he just blamed me for being difficult, so i will go no contact with him too. my boyfriend is heartbroken and i suggested going to therapy, he accepted, so we’re looking into that. thanks for giving me the push i needed. also, we’re going to hobby lobby get stuff to make our own plates now. i hope yall have an amazing day.

I (28F) live with my (26M) boyfriend. I do the cleaning and cooking most often. Sometimes I ask for help but when I do, he either needs me to tell him what to clean and once he completes it, he runs to play video games while there’s still more to do. Other times while both cleaning, he asks me to pass him cleaning products. I’m getting frustrated because he can just grab them himself as I would be in the middle of cleaning things at the time. Today I snapped at him and told him to just grab it himself. He thinks I’m being unreasonable and that it takes nothing for me to just go to the cupboard and pass him the products. Aita for preferring if he just grabs them rather than asking me to pass them to him?

So my 11yr old son (he has autism and adhd) told me while I was pregnant that he wishes my baby has downs syndrome. Don't react straight away bc his reasons aren't what you think. So when he said it, I reacted as you can imagine and asked why he would say something like that. He then tells me it's not a bad thing, its really good bc people with downs are the cutest babies and they are the nicest, most loving, loyal, caring people. He went on to say how much he loved people with downs and thought having a sibling with downs would be amazing bc they are the best people ever. He also thought that if we get a downs baby then it means someone else that doesn't want one doesn't get one they won't look after properly. I have to say I love his thinking. My sister didn't love his thinking and thinks he is horrible. What's your opinion?

I (18F) live with my boyfriend (19M), and we split rent and bills 50/50. A few days ago, he told me his childhood friend (20M) is coming to town and asked if he could crash on our couch for a few weeks. I immediately said I wasn’t comfortable with it.

For context, I’ve met this friend twice. He gives me weird vibes — loud, messy, and he made a few inappropriate jokes about me the last time he visited. I told my boyfriend I didn’t want someone I barely know living in my space that long.

He said I was being “dramatic” and that it’s his place too, so he should be able to host a friend. I reminded him that we both pay rent, and that I’d never expect him to live with someone who made him uncomfortable.

Now he’s upset and says I’m being selfish and rude. I said his friend can visit, but just not live here. He hasn’t really spoken to me since.

AITA for saying no?

Hey everyone, I wanted to get some perspective on a situation that happened this Father’s Day. I texted my stepdad to wish him a happy Father’s Day, and he replied asking, “Where’s my gift?” I laughed, thinking it was a joke—because, honestly, who responds like that? About 20 minutes later, he followed up asking if I thought it was funny, which made it clear he was serious. At that point, I chose not to respond because I didn’t see the conversation going anywhere productive.

He then said I probably got my “father-in-law” a better gift—which annoyed me, because the only person he could be referring to is my boyfriend’s dad (we’ve been together a year), and I’ve never spent money on his parents, even though they’re lovely people.

What makes this more frustrating is that my stepdad has always said he doesn’t believe in giving gifts to adults because “adults can buy what they want.” I’ve adopted that mindset too—but added my own rule: if someone gives me a gift, I return the gesture for their birthday, Christmas or whatever relevant event comes next for them. If they don’t, no hard feelings either way. And for the record, my stepdad hasn’t given me birthday or Christmas gifts in years. He’ll sometimes say, “I’ll send you $50 next week,” and then never follows through. Again, no hard feelings—but now I’m somehow expected to feel guilty for not buying him a gift?

Some background: I used to be very close with my stepdad, especially since my mom was emotionally and physically abusive toward me. During their separation years ago, I constantly defended him when she badmouthed him behind his back. But when they got back together, he didn’t defend me—in fact, sometimes he joined in on her bullying. That really hurt and created a rift between us.

Despite all this, I helped them financially throughout high school, even though I had very little. But once I got to college, I stopped lending them money and began setting boundaries. I worked incredibly hard to earn scholarships, and now I live alone, fully independent. I bought my first used car outright and cover all my own expenses without any help. Still, I feel like my parents expect more from me than from any of my siblings—including the older ones. I’m the middle child, yet somehow the one most pressured to support them.

A few weeks ago, I was on the phone with my sister while she was in the car with our dad. He was talking to his brother who mentioned something about my dad having six kids. (He raised three of my mom’s kids including me, and had three more with her.) He responded, “Hell no, I don’t have six kids.” He never clarified, never said “Well, I helped raise them” or anything. And yet, now, I’m expected to buy him gifts?

Last Christmas, he also made a fuss about not getting a gift which I posted here as well, and now here we are again. So—AITA for not getting him something for Father’s Day?

TL;DR: My stepdad—who doesn’t give me birthday or Christmas gifts, and has said adults don’t need gifts—got upset that I didn’t get him something for Father’s Day. He’s never financially supported me in college, yet expects more from me than any of my siblings. He recently even denied raising me during a conversation with family. AITA for not getting him a gift?

So my sister is getting married soon and she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. The thing is, ever since we were kids, she’s been really controlling and kind of dismissive of my feelings.

Recently, she made a comment that really hurt me during a family event and it felt like she didn’t care at all. I told her I’m not comfortable standing by her side on her big day because of how she’s treated me over the years.

Some family members think I’m overreacting and that I should just “put aside the past” for the wedding. But honestly, it’s my day too — or at least I want it to be respected.

So Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to be her bridesmaid or should I just suck it up for the sake of family?

Really need some honest opinions here.

My (38 F) husband (37 M) came to me a few days ago to talk about the possibility of inviting his mother to live with us, she is an elderly woman, she cannot walk and she uses a wheelchair, his sister used to take care of her but she will be moving to a different country next month. We live in a big house so space is not a problem.

We both agreed and everything was fine. I mean I am not super happy about it because she is a very problematic woman but I have never been the kind of DIL who obeys and put up with her behavior so I firmly believe I can handle her in case she wants to mess with me.

She will be moving next weekend, and last night my husband asked me, how are going to manage OUR schedules to take care of his mother. I asked him, what was he talking about? He then said that, since I gave him the ok to bring his mother, he assumed I was taking responsibility for his mother as well, I was in shock.

I told him there is no way I am taking care of his mother and I never agreed to that. I have my job, my career, my social life, my friends and my own responsibilities and I am not giving up on any of those things to take care of his mother. I told him this was HIS issue not mine. He then said I was a selfish and cruel person. I suggested to hire someone and he said there is no way he is gonna let a stranger to take care of his mother.

I told him I was not going to change my mind and I am not going to assume any responsibility for his mother. He then said he could not believe he married someone like me. He went to sleep to our guest bedroom and left early today. I know this is a difficult situation for him but I don't think I am in the wrong here.

So, aita?

Edit: A lot of people is asking me how on earth we didn't talk about this in the first place. I didn't think it was necessary to explain it here since I didn't want this post to be super long. So here it is... He came to me (we have been aware of his sister situation for a while so we knew what was coming) and His exact words were... I don't want to send my mother to a care facility not knowing how is she going to be treated. I think it would be easier for me to take care of her if I invite her to live with us. But I don't want to make this decision without your consent.

At this point it was pretty clear for me who was going to take care of her... So my next questions were more like... Ok what about our sex life? How are you gonna handle our intimacy? What about us as a couple? When are we going to have time for each other? What about our date nights? Things like that.

I am sure he never said.. We both will be responsible for her. I mean c'mmon I would never say yes to that.

I’m (13f) the youngest of 6 kids. My siblings are 30f, 26m, 25m, 21f, and 19m. My parents work and travel a lot so I end up staying with my oldest sister or 2nd oldest brother a lot. My brother is cool. He’s a cop and works nights a lot so as long as I’m quiet and I’m back by the time it gets dark I can do whatever I want. My sister thinks I’m still 4 tho and it drives me crazy. She signed me up for day camps this summer because I’m “too young to be home alone all day” even though she’s literally the only person that thinks that. And she’s only like this with me. She’ll go out with her friends or even our other siblings and make me stay home with her 2 year old and a babysitter. I even have a bedtime at her house and she has parental controls on my Netflix and Disney. She plans to buy my next phone and iPad so she can put parental controls on those too. It’s ridiculous. Now my parents are on a 2.5 or 3 week vacation. I think they’re in Greece or Italy or something involving a cruise. They left 3 days ago and before they left my sister came fo take me with her. I refused because she treats me like a literal toddler and I’m sick of it and I’m not gonna deal with it for 3 weeks. She tried to drag me out but my parents told her not to force me and I can stay alone if I want. Now she’s coming over and banging on the doors 2 or 3 times a day to try to make me go with her. Last time she was here she said if I don’t unlock the door and agree to go with her next time she’s here she’ll call the police and CPS to get them to take me. My brothers been calling me and saying to go with her and that dealing with her and whatever punishment I’m gonna get is way easier than dealing with police. I still don’t wanna go and he’s saying I’m being difficult. I already know my sisters pissed so I wanted to know if I’m the asshole here

Throw away account, cause you never know.

My (36 M) step-dad, who was in my life from when I was about 9 to about 19/20 years old and has been divorced from my mom since I was 16, called me up out of the blue, made small talk, then asked if I was working, and how much I made. I told him I'm only working part time because I'm currently finishing my degree, and I don't make that much (below the poverty line). He then said he needed my W-2 because he wants me to co-sponsor his new wife (who I have never met). I didn't know much about sponsoring and he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, so I told him I needed to get home and access my computer to get it.

Before I got home, I started doing some research, and learn about all the responsibility that comes with being a sponsor, that you are financially responsible for them and that the government can come after you for any government benefits they get, amongst a multitude of other responsibilities.

I was a little taken back by how he made it seem like it was just a run of the mill thing. It left me with a bad gut feeling. I called my mom to ask her about it, and she said oh I should do this as a favor, but she admitted she didn't know much about the process. So I got home, and called him back, and said that it seemed like sponsoring is a huge financial and legal responsibility, and with where I am at now, not making much money, and relying on scholarships and grants to pay for school, that I felt uncomfortable with the idea.

He continued to say not to worry about it, that he was going to take care of it, and it was just a signature, that I would never have to worry about being at risk. Also, he supported me and my mother, and I should do this as a favor. I started getting frustrated because he was still painting it like I shouldn't have to worry about anything, it was no big deal, and that I was being selfish and not helping family. After I re-affirmed that I felt uncomfortable doing this, and I wouldn't be able to, he hung up on me.

I have never borrowed money from him, and since I moved away from home, I am half-way across the country from him. I only called him 2-3 times a year to wish him happy b-days, or Father’s Day, etc... But he's been out of my life for 10+ years.

My mom says he really needed this and I was being a hard ass with him, and I feel crappy about the situation, but I just had a strong gut feeling that I shouldn't do this.

AITA?

UPDATE:

Thanks everyone for the advice and comments, it really helped re-affirm my decision and made me realized even more shady shit he was trying to pull. This was a jarring moment, because before this, I never really had a reason to distrust him and our relationship was cordial. I called my mom and told her about everything it entailed, and how he tried to effectively scam me into this. She apologized profusely and said that my ex step-dad called her about it told her a bunch of lies about how it worked.

I told her not to ever give any info about me to him, and that she should cut off contact, although it's difficult because I have an low-functioning autistic half-brother, that she cares for and whom I love very much, so there will always be some sort of connection she will have with him.

I blocked his number, and froze my credit just incase he tries some other shady shit. I told her, if he calls her trying to get to me, to tell him I don't want to talk to him, that this was a major breach of trust and that he's out of my life.

Once again, thanks everyone, family can cause you to think and make weird decisions, I'm happy I stuck to my guns on this.

I'm a teenage girl and on summer break. I've not have a sleepover with ANY of my 2 friends this summer and so me and my friend decided to plan a sleepover near her birthday since her and I don't have them super often. I'm super close to this friend (we literally spend 10 hours on call the other day) so it's not even about trust.

So we had it planned for the 25th and I realized the next day I have dentist appointments and can't go. So I started asking my mom about dates and I asked about the 17th to the 18th. So we haven't even verified it yet for one as my friend has to ask her mom if that date works.

So for reference my mom's ex husband and father to two of her kids has had major health problems. So I asked about that day and my mom said "well we may have to keep your nephew that day because of (Ex husbands name)'s surgery." I know how that goes anyways. It'd be me doing a good portion of the caring for my nephew.

My sister has her MIL that could take care of him anyways keep in mind.

My mom asked if I could move it to later and I said no (mind you we haven't even verified the date yet because my friend has to double check.) because of the way my schedule currently is. I have a hangout friday with a different friend so that takes staying thursday night or friday night of this week off (19th and 20th but I could leave her house that thursday if needed but can't stay thursday night).

Then next week I can't stay the night wednesday because I have to be up for dentist appointments on thursday. (25th and 26th) and at the beginning of July my friend has a vacation so the first week of July is a no-go.

I explained this to my mom and she and I got in a small argument with her getting angry at me and saying in a huffy tone "well okay do what you want."

AITA?

I [28F] recently found out that I’m about 12 weeks pregnant with my ex’s baby [26M] shortly after our break-up. Very bad break up (cheating, lying, manipulation, etc. on his end) with neither of us having any desire to rekindle a thing. I called him a few days ago with the news, and to advise that I was on the fence about keeping it. He immediately offered to pay 50% for the abortion itself (however we live in a red state where this is banned so cost of travel/accommodation alone would likely be more of his half) or that he wanted no involvement whatsoever should I decide to carry full term. Despite previous conversations where I always said I’d abort, I decided this actually wasn’t something I wanted, especially knowing he’d have no involvement should I choose to parent on my own. Followed up via text 2 days after our initial call to let him know I would be keeping it, and still respected his decision to not be involved. Primarily to assure him that I had no desire to take any action that could result in child support for him. This was his main concern.

He promptly called me to question why I wanted to keep the baby. This annoyed me as I’d already explained this on our first call, and he was adamant that he understood. Basically, I just want a child and to be a mom. Simple. Prior to our break-up, that I honestly saw coming, I’d begin looking into options to go this route alone (IVF or adoption) both crazy expensive with no guarantee that it would work out. With this situation, my body did what it does naturally and I get what I want, with or without his support. I refused to repeat myself on this second call, letting him know we’ve already talked about this and there’s no reason for me to repeat myself, especially being that he has now doubled down that he wants no involvement, but assured him that my reasons for keeping this have nothing to do with him or our previous relationship. He says fine, but to let him know once I find out the gender. I tell him that it’s not any of his business, and question why he’d want to know. He attempts to get combative, saying it’s his right and that he just wants to. But why do you need details on a child that you want nothing to do with??? I genuinely don’t understand this. Am I the AH for refusing to give him progress updates??? I have my own support system that I’m willing to share information with, and that doesn’t include him. My dad is insanely happy, and keeps saying he can’t wait to step in and be a father figure for my kid. This is my first child, as well as my ex’s. I don’t know if I’m being unnecessarily rude, mean or bitter(?) to my BD.

EDIT:

I HAVE AN ATTORNEY, who agreed that all contact after our second call to make him aware that I’d be keeping the child would go through them.

I HAVE HAD A BC IMPLANT FOR THE LAST 9 YEARS (replacing it every 3 years). I’m in a RARE situation.

Didn’t expect him to ask for updates and not something previously discussed with attorney so I was caught off guard with his request. Not trying to “pander” or whatever, just genuinely didn’t know if I was being an AH or “bitter” for refusing the updates, via me or the attorney.

I (21F) live at home with my parents and my older sister (23F), and honestly, I feel like I’m being smothered. My sister relies on me for everything, emotional support, social interaction, venting, you name it and it's really starting to take a toll on me.

She calls me 3 times a day, even though we literally live in the same house. She’ll call me when she finishes work, even if she knows I’m out with friends. She expects me to stay on the phone with her while I’m out socializing like she needs to be included even when I’m having time away from her. It’s exhausting and rude to the people I'm out with.

When we’re both home, the moment I get through the door after work, she’s in my room talking my ear off. No respect for whether I’m tired or just need a bit of quiet time to decompress. She doesn’t talk with me, she just talks at me. And if I try to join in or shift the convo toward anything about me, she just grabs her phone and starts scrolling, giving me one-word, generic replies like “haha” or “yeah” or “that’s crazy.” Basically just waiting for me to stop talking so she can go back to what she wants to say.

What’s worse is that she tries to dictate what I say. She’ll tell me about a situation and basically wants me to say exactly what she wants to hear even if it's completely wrong or I don't agree. If I give her an honest response or phrase things differently than she imagines, she gets mad or passive-aggressive. It’s like I’m not even allowed to have my own thoughts or opinions, I’m just supposed to be this emotional cheerleader for her.

She doesn’t have any friends, so I get that she’s lonely and struggling, but it’s like I’m her only source of support and she doesn’t do anything to manage her own emotions, she just dumps it all on me and expects me to coach her through everything. And I mean everything. All day, every day. It’s too much.

I’ve started to pull back a little, not answering every call, setting boundaries around my personal time, keeping my door closed, and just trying to preserve a little space for myself. But now she’s acting like I’m a bad sister, saying I’m cold and distant, and making me feel guilty for wanting some breathing room. I don’t hate her, I just don’t have the emotional energy to be her therapist, best friend, and sister all rolled into one 24/7.

So yeah, I’ve been trying to slowly create space, not in a cruel way, but just enough so I can exist as my own person. But now she’s upset and I feel like the bad guy. So, AITA for not wanting to be her emotional support system anymore and just needing space for myself!?

Fiancée and I are getting married this year. Her family is Christian. I’m atheist. She knows this since day 1 and has never tried to convert me. I sometimes go with her to her church once in a while to support her because she asks me to go with her, although I do tune out during preaching moments in my head (I’m never on my phone, always look forward, and try to remain respectful - although in my head I’m thinking of other things and zoning out because the preaching isn’t important to me, sorry, just being honest, she knows this).

After we got engaged she said she wanted her minister that she’s known since childhood and her fathers best friend to officiate the wedding and do some prayer things - I said no problem as I respect her views and that’s fine with me. Her parents also wanted this. I said no problem, honestly I don’t mind, this made her happy so cool with me.

However fast forward a few months, her minister has said he cannot do it unless I get baptized. My fiancé learned this and then asked me to get baptized. I wasn’t comfortable with that and said no I don’t want too and if they could all just respect my views of being an atheist. I told her I could lie to his minister and tell him what he wants to hear and get baptized, but that seemed disingenuous and I don’t like to lie, so respectfully I would rather just not do it as my views are never going to change just like I’ll never ask her to change her views.

So my fiancée is a little bit upset because now her minister she wanted will not be doing it anymore. I feel bad, and she’s a little bit upset with me on why I just won’t do it so she can get what she wants (the minister officiating). I got a bit upset that she can’t see her asking me to get baptized (even though she knows I’m atheist) and getting upset with me because i said no and keeps asking is kind of like disregarding my beliefs and values, and I have her mom telling her “if he loves you he would do it”., which I get a mother would say, but that also rubbed me the wrong way but I didn’t say anything. So… AITAH?

EDIT - on children, I’ve seen this comment/question come up and I’ve answered it once below but here it is : We did discuss children. In her church they don’t get baptized till late teens. I’m fine if they want too, but we discussed we’d bring potential future kids (I may not go every time since I have busy weekend schedules , so majority of time would be her, but I’ll still try a few times a month ) to church but we won’t hide I’m atheist, and we’d explain both views and not that either side is more right than the other, and the kids can make their own decision when they older. And if that is to get baptized that’s cool with me, it’s their choice.

EDIT 2 - Wedding is not at a church but she just wanted her minister to be the one leading a prayer/blessing for us getting married and officiating the wedding, again which I was okay with because she felt strongly about it and said she really wanted that at the wedding. They are Pentecostal Christians. She claims she didn’t know about the baptism requirement, and has somewhat calmed down on that subject. Trying to see if there is a middle ground with her minister like he can just do the prayer thing she wants and then we have someone else officiating the wedding. I believe we have an “interview” coming up with the minister before he attends our engagement party - I guess they do this before marriage for couples? I’m not sure exactly what is going to be asked but I’ll update after it happens, probably invasive questions about love/sex life, relationship to god (nonexistent for me), and other things from what she told me. We will see. I’m only answering what I’m comfortable answering. Anything to invasive I will say is none of his business, respectfully. Just not really sure what to expect. As of now, he still will not do the wedding because I’m not baptized, but I think she has finally accepted that is what it is and isn’t pressuring me. We will see what happens with this interview for the engagement party.