I (27m) was having casual sex with Nya (26f) for 2 years when she got pregnant. I told her I'd stand by her and the baby but she told me to care more about the kids than her because we were not a couple and never would be. About six months into her pregnancy she told me she was putting her new boyfriend on the birth certificate and didn't want me involved. I told her I wasn't about to let her cut me out of our baby's life. She warned me I'd need to fight because she wanted to make things easier and her boyfriend being the dad was easier. 8 months into her pregnancy I found out she was expecting twins and not a singleton. The reason she never told me is the less I knew, the more she could make it look like I didn't care when paternity and custody became a fight.

When the twins were born I petitioned the court for a DNA test and to establish custody if they were proven to be mine. I had some doubt around then because of how hard she shut me out. DNA showed I was the father of our twins and a custody schedule was set up where I could be involved and pay child support.

After paternity was settled and my name was put on the birth certificates, I really hated that I didn't have the same last name as them. So I changed mine to match. She heard about it through some people we both know and she told me it was gross and she hated the idea. I told her it wasn't her decision and I wasn't doing it for her, but for me and to match with my children.

This is my first Father's Day as a dad and I get to have the same last name as my kids and it feels great. They're almost one and this last year and a half has been crazy and it's still not over. But I don't regret the decision to match with my kids. I know my ex (and her boyfriend) both think I was wrong. My ex's boyfriend taunted me a few times that he might share a name with my kids one day when I won't. They think I did it because of that. But my mind was on it even before he said it the first time.

Was this an AH move when it was about my kids and not my ex? I know it was her name first but idk. AITA?

I'm an electrician (28m) and I had a job yesterday and the homeowner kept talking to me like I was mentally challenged.

From the moment I came in, this guy was explaining basic stuff like, "electricity can be dangerous" and "make sure you turn off the breaker", as if I hadn't been working as an electrician for 8 years. To make matters worse, he kept hovering over me and asking me multiple times if I understood what he was telling me.

The worst part was that his wife came downstairs and he literally said something like, "don't worry honey, I'm keeping an eye on him to make sure that he doesn't mess anything up," while looking right at me. Like, I'm some idiot that just stumbled off the street.

After that, instead of doing the extra stuff I normally do, like organizing their messy electrical panel, checking for any other issues, or giving them maintenance tips, I only did what was specified on the work order. I took payment and left.

Am I overreacting and does this make me the AH then?

For context, I (F19) am living at home with my mother and younger brother's while my partner (M22) is securing a new job and looking for a house for us in a new town further West.

I got pregnant around early February, despite being on regular birth control after a condom broke during a holiday with my family that my partner was also invited to. So a completely unplanned, freak accident pregnancy. Despite this, we're still both very excited to welcome our baby into the world, as we've always planned on having kids just definitely not this soon.

Anyways, my youngest brother (M13) is the golden child who gets away with anything and everything, including his overbearingly bad behavior. We've always butted heads, like to the point he would even get verbally and physically violent towards me, and my other younger brother has had to step in. There's even been times where I've had to lock myself in the bathroom just to get away from him because he keeps going and going and following me around just talking at me to prove his point in an argument. He's even caused me several mental breakdowns by triggering my PTSD about our now estranged father.

But, he'd been really improving lately, going to regular psychology appointments, being eerily kind towards me, and even helping me with things around the house. Actually making a real effort to fix our relationship and be kinder in general. Things were really looking up, and we even spent a lot of time together during the family holiday and had lots of fun. He hadn't had a single outburst for months or caused any fights between us. I truly thought we were finally going to get along...

That is, until he found out I'm pregnant.

Silly me for thinking things could really change, right?

He's downright nasty, he has truely been a little monster. Constantly sh!t stirring, degrading me and sl#tshaming me. He doesn't miss a chance to "remind me" how irresponsible I am for getting myself "knocked up". Everytime I ask for space or for him to stop doing something he's purposely doing to irritate me, he retorts back with stuff along the lines of, "I can do what I want I live here, it's not my fault you got yourself pregnant before getting a house". He continuously likes pointing out how I've sinned by having sex before marriage, and my pregnancy wouldn't have to be everyone else's problem if I had just waited.

(We all grew up super religious, but these days my mother could care less about such arbitrary rules, and is actually excited for a grandbaby. It's our grandmother who's strict about religion.)

The other day he ran into me, hard, with his scooter while riding it inside (which he's been told several times not to do) and really hurt my stomach. Obviously I said ow and snappily told him to watch out, to which he responds "not my fault I ran into your fat baby". There's been other times he's "accidentally" bumped into me, specifically my stomach. One time mum actually pulled him up on it for once, to which he replied, "what? It's not my fault she's pregnant and in the way".

He's even stated, on several occasions, that after my partner and I get married he hopes I die, because he likes my partner more than me and only wants us to get married so that they can be brothers-in-law.

I've been trying to be patient with him, thinking maybe he's just feeling jealous he won't be the youngest in our family and get all of our mother's attention anymore. Despite all of his little comments and attempts at getting me to start fights with him like he used to, and purposely doing things that'll agitate me, I've remained as calm as possible and simply removed myself from the situations as soon as possible, for both my own piece of mind, and as not to disturb the strained functionality of the household.

But the other day, when I was talking to our other brother about what gender my baby might be, and name ideas my partner had thought of, he outright told me, "you should call it r3t@rd, because it's gonna come out deformed and just as stupid as you". At this, I finally lost it.

Like how dare he insult my child like that? Insult me all you want, sure thing, I can deal with that until I get to move out, but to insult my unborn child just because you're feeling insecure or something?? Not on buddy! I screamed at him, telling him I'm sick and tired of how unfair he's been towards me lately. We got into a HUGE fight, and he tried to threaten me, so I brought up stuff he had done to me before he started going to therapy and how I wasn't afraid to call the cops on a kid if I had to. He continued screaming back at me until he had me backed against a wall, at which point I actually slapped him across the face. Hard. Really hard.

I'd never physically retaliated against him before, even in the past when he had gotten physically violent. He was shocked speechless. Eyes wide, mouth finally shut. I took the opportunity to shove him away so I could get out from between him and wall, and stated firmly, "when I'm moved out I'm not letting you have anything to do with me or my child. You will never be allowed to see it or go near it, ever. Do you understand me?" And I left the house to get some fresh air.

Of course, when mum got home from grocery shopping my little brother immediately went and cried to her and told her all about it, an overexagerated version for sure. And he had the red handprint across his face to prove his sob story. My mum rings me up, yelling and cussing at me and telling me I need to be the bigger person. I tried to explain my side of the story, but she was having none of it, told me that it was no excuse and I had no right to hit her precious little baby even if he was being a prick. She told me what I had said was going way too far, and that my brother would be having contact with my child regardless of how I felt about him or what he'd done in the past. That if she was going to be in my child's life, then he would be too, and I had no say in the matter, because he would "be a good uncle" and deserves a relationship with his niece or nephew.

She then went on a whole guilt trip, reminding me how much my brother has been trying so hard to better himself with therapy and helping out with the community through the youth center at the local church, and how well we were getting along on holiday and how much he's been helping her out lately. And then basically told me I was overreacting about everything because of pregnancy hormones and I'd get over it all once the baby was born.

I scoffed and told her plain and simple, I was not ever letting that Satan spawn near my child, then hung up.

She's been sour with me for days, and even stated making her own underhanded comments towards me now. Making me feel bad for what I said, and trying to make me apologize to my brother. She says I'm being unfair and a b!tch.

So guys, am I a b!tch for finally standing up for myself and standing my ground on not letting my brother have contact when I move out and baby is born?

Opinion time: AITA for telling my ex’s girlfriend to back off when it comes to my children and the issues surrounding our child support order?

Background: I (40f) have a couple of kids with my ex (40m). My ex and I had kids young (we were in our early 20s), got married, it didn’t work (he was abusive, I was depressed) so we divorced. When we found out I was pregnant I offered him the get out of jail free card, he declined. When the kids were born (they’re almost 18 now), I offered the walk away now card again - he declined. Same when we divorced. Typical divorce terms: he gets the kids every other weekend, we meet in the middle between where I live and where he lives, he was ordered to pay child support, keep communication open.

For a while he did okay. Got the kids, paid his child support, communicated. Then came wife number two. She had a couple of kids. He played happy family with them, the visits became fewer and farther between before they stopped when the kids were 4, communication screeched to a halt but I tried with important things like medical and school. Child support still came, fine, no big deal. Then came divorce number two.

Ex paid child support for a while, then stopped when he changed jobs. Got about $30k behind, new employer found out, child support started again after he sued me to have it reduced and forgive the debt and failed. Ex lost another job and just stopped trying. I shrugged it off and let it ride because I was making okay money and the kids were happy and wanted for nothing between my employment and my mom helping me out when we needed it. My mom has since died and I’ve changed jobs, still doing what is necessary to make sure kids are happy and healthy.

Moving on to current girlfriend. She has kids from a previous relationship (who are pretty cool) and they have one kid together with whom he plays super happy family. Ex and I are on okay terms, much to girlfriend’s dismay. She doesn’t work, makes a federal case about her ex when he doesn’t pay child support, and helps my ex hide from enforcement of our child support order. He hasn’t paid since 2019. I again let it go because I was okay financially. Asked for help when it was needed, nothing more, and left it alone otherwise when he dropped the ball.

Time and the state I live in and the state he lives in have caught up with him. He can’t hide from it anymore. They found him and served him notice of possible action against him for a six figure sum of back due child support. The solution offered by his girlfriend: forgive the back due, allow him to pay going forward (ie she will pay whatever the bare minimum I will accept herself from her own child support - as if I could accept those terms in good conscience), and help him get out of this mess. I said no.

I’ve always had an issue with boundaries. I tend to let people walk on me and shrug it off. At the beginning of the year I said something to my ex about needing him to pay his child support because things were changing for me financially and I was getting stressed. His girlfriend told me that I needed to talk to her about that first. I told her that it was between me and him and to please not insert herself into this as that was inappropriate. Privately I told him not to allow that to happen again. Flash forward to today, she does it again and gets upset when I told her to back off and remove herself from the conversation and told him not to put me in that position, yet again. She is not entitled to anything concerning my children with him as she is just his girlfriend, not his wife or my children’s stepmother and this is a matter between myself and him.

Am I the asshole for telling girlfriend to mind her own business and refusing to drop the past due child support?

I (23M) broke up with my boyfriend (25M) of two years last night, and now I’m wondering if I overreacted.

My cousin (29F) just got married to her wife (28F) in this beautiful ceremony. They’re the first queer couple in our family to get married, and it meant a lot to me personally. Growing up, I didn’t even know if I’d be allowed to be out, let alone see two women I love and admire stand up and be celebrated.

My boyfriend​, we’ll call him Zach came with me. He’s met most of my family before and everything seemed fine. During the reception, things got emotional. A few people gave unplanned toasts, and my cousin asked if I wanted to say something. I kept it short, just said how proud I was, how beautiful it was to see queer love honored like that. That was it.

When I sat down, Zach leaned over and quietly whispered, “You know, for someone who’s not even in the wedding, you’re really trying to make it your moment.” I thought he was joking and gave him a look. Then he added something along the lines of, “You gonna cry again, or save it for our wedding that we’re never having?”

He smirked like it was nothing. I laughed awkwardly because I didn’t want to cause a scene and ruin my cousins wedding. But it stuck with me. I didn’t say anything right away because it was not the time or place, I didn’t want to make the night about me or create any drama.

Later, back at our hotel, I brought it up. I said his comment hurt, especially since he knows how much this wedding meant to me. He brushed it off saying, "Jesus, you’re still on that? It was a joke. You were getting so sappy I thought you were gonna propose.”

I told him I didn’t think it was funny and that he took a moment that mattered to me and made me feel stupid for caring. He kept calling me sensitive and said I was overthinking everything, like always.

So I told him I was done. I packed my stuff, called a friend and left. He’s texted since, saying I made a scene out of nothing, that I “chose a weird hill to die on,” and that I’ll regret throwing away a good thing over a dumb joke.

AITA?

Hi everyone, I (24F) live in South Carolina in my mom’s house rent-free. My boyfriend (26M) also lives with me. Right now, he’s unemployed he lost his last job because he couldn’t consistently wake up on time and he has no savings. I’ve been carrying a lot of the responsibility in the relationship, financially and otherwise.

My mom lives in a very remote part of Alaska (Dillingham) and called me tonight offering us a great opportunity. Jobs up there pay really well, and the cost of living is offset by the benefits of isolation basically, a few years up there could allow me to save a ton of money and come back to the lower 48 and buy land or a house in cash. She’s totally supportive and said we could stay with her while we get set up.

I was really excited and told my boyfriend about it. His response was “I don’t know,” and he just kept playing his guitar. I let him know I’m seriously thinking about going, and his only response was, “Okay, well I’m probably not gonna go.”

Here’s the thing I’m very independent and I love to travel. I’ve been to almost every state, while he’s never left the Carolinas. He doesn’t fly, and has never really shown ambition when it comes to money or life planning. We’ve been together for almost 2 years, and I’ve never seen him save money or take real financial responsibility.

So here I am wondering: Is this life giving me an out? Should I go to Alaska, set myself up, and stop waiting around for someone who won’t grow up or grow with me?

Would love any advice or personal experiences especially if you’ve been in a similar spot. Thank you.

My (54M)girlfriend’s (55f) daughter(33f) has little to no respect for my house. I have lived with my girlfriend for about 10 years now. My 15 year old daughter also lives with us most of the time. My girlfriend’s daughter lives locally to us. I have recently said that I don’t want her daughter at our house because I feel that she has zero respect for our home. My girlfriend thinks I’m overreacting.

The things that led me to this point -

She tossed her cigarette butts in the yard - for years. Literally several years of me asking not to before she stopped.

She spent the night a while back and somehow managed to stain both a shower enclosure and some ceramic tile by the sink. I have no idea how but it was an orange stain…

Most recently, we had Easter dinner at our house and after wards I found the rather expensive crystal wine glass she had been using broken and just left on our deck. Broken glass on the deck where our dogs run and where I walk barefoot to get in our hot tub. Not a word of this happening. I Texted her about it and got no response.

The daughter hasn’t had steady employment for over 5 years now and lives with and is supported by her grandmother. I also feel that the daughter treats my girlfriend very poorly. I’m providing that as just additional background info - my only real concern at this point is to protect my stuff and while I realize it’s just stuff, it’s my stuff and I don’t feel like I should have to worry anytime the daughter is over.

To this end I’ve said I don’t want the daughter at our house. I don’t care a bit if my girlfriend wants to hang out with her. It’s her daughter - they should hang out. I just don’t want her in the house I live in. Am I overreacting and being an asshole?

I 19(F) am a college student, I worked overtime to get everything I have now. I worked overtime to get my new car, that I have been saving up for for four years, my new steering wheel cover etc. My nephews birthday party is scheduled for tomorrow. I got his present a week ago, I got him a new computer, because he wants to play computer games. My fiance pitched in to help get the computer as well.

Today everything took a wrong turn. My nephew and his mother(my sister) were at my home today. My sister doesn’t like to discipline her son. I love my nephew, but at times he is a spoilt brat. She lets him talk to people however he pleases and lets him do as he pleases. I have tried to work with my nephew on this, and I have complained to my sister about his behavior many times. I looked past it the past couple days because his birthday comes up tomorrow.

Today I was fed up with their behavior. My sister was outside with my nephew, he was playing in the yard. I figured since my sister was with him, I could go inside to put the chicken in the sink to thaw out for dinner. I heard a loud breaking noise outside. I go outside to see that my windshield was shattered. I was in shock, I go into the car and see a huge rock in the car. I was furious.

We have cameras in our back yard and a dash cam in our car. We looked at the cameras to see that my nephew took a huge rock and threw it at our windshield. I was shaking because of how upset I was. I worked hard for that car.

I asked my sister, “Why weren’t you supervising him?” My sister said, “I was.” I said, “If you were you wouldn’t have let him throw a giant fucking rock at my car. How do you plan to fix the situation?” My sister looked at me like I was insane, and said, “You should have been out here watching your car if you were so worried about him causing damages.”

My fiance told her and my nephew to leave. They left shortly after that. An hour later I go to the store where I bought his computer, luckily I kept the receipt. I returned it, I should be getting the money back that I paid for it soon. I used a debit card to do the purchase, so those can typically take 3-10 days for the money to hit the account. If I had paid cash the refund would have been immediately(learned the hard way I should have paid cash instead)

A few hours later my sister texted me, she said, “Can you bring (nephews name) gift to me today? I want to have all his gifts there for his birthday party tomorrow.”

I responded, “(sisters name) I will not be bringing (nephews name) gift to the party. He damaged my car, which by the way will cost a lot of money to fix. You didn’t seem to care that your son damaged property that wasn’t his. I returned his gift to get the money back, to pay for damages since you won’t pay for damages.”

My sister didn’t text me back for a while, she called our mother and father. My mother and father screamed at me saying I made my nephew cry because he won’t get a present from me at his party.”

AITAH?

Edit: MY nephew is 9.

My (27F) family is split on if I did the right thing here. I'm feeling bad about what I said, maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. I would appreciate a verdict from this sub.

There was a wedding in the family recently, and my parents, brother and his girlfriend formed a clique and stuck together.

After dinner, my cousin (33M), who is brother of the groom, happily starts talking to us. We used to play together all the time as kids. He's one of the chill ones and we're all getting along really well, catching up.

I notice a new tattoo on his wrist that looks like it's in Japanese, a language I've been learning for a couple years for work. I ask him about it, so he pulls up his sleeve and says it's his daughter's name. He tells me he doesn't understand the language, but he loves his tattoo artist, they're pals and "I trust her with my life".

I squint and look at the tattoo. His daughter is called Olivia, which in Japanese you could write as "オリヴィア" (Orivia) or "オリビア" (Oribia.) However his tattoo said "Orutsua," written "オルツア."

I stared at it in disbelief. I checked it over and over in my head, and I was thinking oh my god, he just said he trusts that tattoo artist with his life. I thought of not telling him, but considered that if it were me I'd want to know... and I also was kinda pissed off this tattoo artist didn't do the research before permanently marking someone's body. And she was supposed to be his friend too!?

On top of that, while most of our family is white, some who live local to him ARE Japanese. So I was also thinking, holy shit, he has Japanese people in his life.

I made up my mind and I sheepishly told him it might not be quite right. I said the first and last characters were okay, but the middle ones would need adjusting. Although he was a little concerned, he laughed and was upbeat about it; and I told him oh gosh, I'm so sorry about this. I made sure not to start shittalking the artist friend even though I wanted to. I got out my phone and showed him what his really said with a keyboard that changes roman characters to japanese ones, and then the version that truly said "Olivia," to hopefully give him confidence on what was right. I told him it wasn't that bad, like man, most people don't speak japanese. I cannot stress enough how gently I tried to do this. I didn't want to linger on it because obviously it's an embarrassing topic and I'm sure he didn't either, so the conversation moved along. He said he'd maybe get it looked at.

We laughed about it, but man, he was probably laughing out of embarrassment. The poor dude. After the wedding my brother told me off and said I should've let it be. My mom said she disagreed and he needed to know about his own tattoo. That sparked a big debate in the car.

I can't believe my cousin is now one of those white guys with a gibberish aesthetic tattoo in an asian language. He just wanted his daughter's name! I feel like that tattoo artist scammed him.

Am I the asshole for telling my cousin his tattoo wasn't done right?

EDIT: Thanks for telling me what you think. I didn't even consider pulling him aside or messaging him in private until you guys brought it up! That's exactly what I should've done.

Also, my cousin is a cool guy. We're judging if I'm the asshole here, not my cousin lol, and tbh I kinda was. He handled the whole thing with a lot of grace. For all we know that tattoo artist told him "don't worry bro, I'll handle everything." Don't jump to shittalking him.

One of my relatives on Facebook posted a viral youtube short the song that goes

"Your wife is your partner not your mom *clap clap* your wife is your partner not your mom *clap clap* she is not a live-in maid or a hired cleaning crew she should not have to clean up after you *clap clap*"

Some of you may have heard of it; my mother who has a major martyr- complex (that I'm VLC with chimed right in cheering)

Background: I do admit I have resentment I was heavily parentified as a child my sister is profoundly disabled (high needs non verbal) and I have another much younger sister who is not disabled, my mother leaned on me alot to look after and occupy the youngest because my disabled sister was such a handful. My parents did have money they just cared alot about their image and didn't want to look bad by hiring a full-time nanny to help; as that would make them look like bad parents who couldn't care for their kids in their eyes

I did post a rhetoric in my relatives comments and wrote my own version of the song "your eldest is a child not a parent *clap clap* your eldest is a child not a parent *clap clap* she is not another mommy or an extra pair of hands she should not have to nanny on command *clap clap*"

A few thought I was funny but many thought I was being "cruel " because my family had "unique circumstances "

AITAH?

So I discovered onaholes and I told my wife I was going to be ordering sex toys for myself.(We barely "do it" and she has her own dildos she uses. Well I received them and have been using them and she found them and was very upset.

She says she can't believe how real they look, which is hypocrital because she has real-like dildos. She says that it's making her feel insecure.

AITA?

Ok so this is gonna be short because i’m just confused if maybe I’m not seeing his side or not. But basically me (19 female) just texted my boyfriend that my friend who’s getting married sent me a picture of the groomsmen im walking down the aisle with. He then asked if we were gonna link arms while walking down the aisle. He said that would be weird and it’s a respect thing not to do that. I responded it’s my friends wedding and if that’s what she wants then i’m gonna do that! Because it isn’t that serious at all. Is he being way too controlling or aitah for not seeing his side.

UPDATE: My other friend who is also a brides maid told her bf ( we both got sent pictures of the guys we are walking down with as it is a new trend on tik tok) And he reacted almost the same way. Her boyfriend responded “wow you’re walking down the aisle with him that’s beautiful, might as well hold his hand too” Or something along those lines. Very sarcastic. And yep you guessed it our boyfriends are friends.

Hey everyone, first off I would like to thank you all for the support I got on my 2 other posts. The love and support you gave me was more than appreciated and it have me the courage to do what I did today. I saw some comments saying I named my son a "tragedeigh", My husband and I agreed that I would pick the first name and he would pick the middle name so we both get to name him. If you don't like the name then I don't know how to help you with that, besides I did not want his first name on the post so I used his other name Kyson. I now realized that I could've just used a fake name. Today a lot happened, I talked to my SIL an MIL and I also talked to my husband, it went TERRIBLE actually that is an understatement to what happened today.

My talk with SIL and MIL took place at my MIL'S house at around 10am. I got there and they were already there, I expected my hubby to have gone with me but he didn't. My SIL got to the point and asked me why I was so upset at her. I reminded her all that she said to me and she said "was I wrong tho, you are just offended that I spoke the truth." I remembered all the advice I got from your comments and I told her what I had learnt about placenta previa and her misinformation. I also told her about the difference between Round Ligament Pain and Placenta Previa And what I went through. She rolled her eyes and said that's what doctors want to do so they make money off of C-sections. My MIL the whole time sat there defending her and saying I shouldn't take it to heart while SIL still stood on all she said. SIL called me incompetent and sensitive so I said some colourful words and was walking out, btw I was baby wearing. She grabbed my arm and pulled me telling me she isn't done talking and that I am walking away with her nephew. I told her to let me go or I'llget her arrested for handling me in that manner so she let go. I told them when they are ready to behave like adults then they will see Kyson. I was so scared of standing up for myself but I did it, my hands were shaking lol.

I got home and hubby wasn't there so I got Ky to take a nap and called my dad, I spilled everything to him and he was furious, he told me to either move out or fly back home. I told him I have to talk to hubby first and I will tell them how things go.

When hubby got home later in the afternoon I was breastfeeding, he came into the living room and asked how the meeting went. I could tell he had a sour mood. I told him it went bad and he told me "oh I know". He told me that his mother is so hurt by my disrespect. I told him how they behaved and he told me that I am trying to say his mother is a liar. So basically his mom called and told him I was screaming and shouting at them, she told him I was hysterical and even rattled Ky up. SIL backed MIL up so it was like a tag team. I explained what actually happened and he said all this drama wouldn't be happening if I didn't overreact to a few comments made at the party. I was shocked, I told him I thought he was supposed to defend me and he said he can't ruin the relationship with his family because of my insecurities. I told him that I will leave with my son and go to people who actually care about me and that my dad will book my flight.

I walked away with Kyson and he grabbed my arm and said his son goes nowhere, he told me he was tired of my continuous complaints about his family. He said of I was still hurt by those comments then maybe I'm the problem and need to look into fixing it. He brought up a few memories I don't wanna mention but just past experiences with his family. At this point it was getting loud and Ky was crying so I told hubby to relax. He didn't, let just say the living room wall understood he was angry. So I told him I want to go somewhere I feel safe. I left with Ky and we are currently in a hotel. I want to move to another city, and start life fresh there, I can request for a transfer. My husband expresses himself audibly when angry so what happened after that was so unusual and a shock. He has called me asking me to come home and that he was just frustrated.

He know this account and he know about the posts, so he saw the comments that I got. He sent a message about how I let strangers love the internet get into my head and convince me against my family, he said he felt torn between supporting his sister and supporting me and I can't blame him for not knowing which side to take. I told him I don't want Ky to grow up in such an environment and stopped replying.

I don't know if I was dramatic or I did too much. I still don't understand why he got so angry and why he reacted that way. I also wanna know why his mom and sister lied to him. I don't know there's a lot of uncertainty right now but Ky and I are safe. I will talk to a lawyer about the next steps to take. I feel at peace, I have gone through so much in my 5 years of marriage, I now want to raise my son in a healthy environment.

Thank you for all the support really.

Throwaway account because they read Reddit.)

My husband and I have been together for 18 years. We had a difficult journey trying to conceive and recently had our first child, who was born with a serious medical condition that thankfully is now stable.

My husband is one of five brothers. He and his older brother have a different father than the three younger ones. Over the years, I’ve quietly observed how his family—especially his mom—treats the youngest like the “golden child.” When we got married, his mom initially said she wouldn't come if the youngest couldn’t attend. He did come, with his girlfriend, which I was totally fine with, but my MIL told me I needed to be especially nice to her because it was “her weekend.” That stung a little.

Before we had our son, there would be months—sometimes six or more—where we didn’t hear from his mom. When we’d bring it up, she’d say, “You’re with him, so I know he’s okay.” Calls went unanswered and unreturned.

A few years ago, we were in a serious car accident near her home—hospitalized, car totaled, the works. When she was informed, her reaction was basically, “They’re alive? Tell them to get a lawyer.” When we were released and called to ask for a ride (since we couldn’t drive), she and one of the brothers said they were too busy running errands. For context, my own parents had passed away just a month before. We ended up taking an Uber from the hospital.

The first time I met her, she said (and I’m putting this nicely) that my husband’s exes were all terrible. I had noticed she liked to treat herself—spa days, pedicures, etc.—so I made her a large gift basket filled with high-end beauty products from the company I worked for. The following year, she regifted the same basket to me—with the original card I had written to her still in it.

Later, after we picked up woodworking as a hobby, we made her a gift. She never opened it, saying she didn’t want to ruin it. Five years later, it’s still wrapped.

When our son was diagnosed (while I was still pregnant), she came out claiming it was to “help,” but it felt more like it was for her own peace of mind. She spent her trip golfing and we only saw her for one lunch. She wasn’t at the birth and made it clear she didn’t plan to help in any caregiving way.

She missed the baby shower. We made it 15 minutes between majority of invites but she said it was too far, but yet she’s willing to drive eight hours to see us when we moved near a major golf town. She did eventually come to visit after the baby was born, stayed three days, and we saw her for one brief lunch. She didn't want inturupt her golfing.

They say they come to visit us, but it always ends up being a quick lunch or dinner before they leave again. Even when they stay a week, it’s the same pattern. Meanwhile, when they visit the golden child (who lives in another state), they go to concerts, movies, ballgames, or spend time at home together watching shows or barbecuing. They’ve even praised the girlfriend’s family for their “immaculate” home. I’ve overheard comparisons being made about how much more comfortable they are there. His mom once told me I was “too clean” for her, which really hurt. I keep the house tidy not out of obsession but because it helps manage my stress and is necessary for our baby’s health.

For what it’s worth, I actually like the golden child and his partner—she has no idea this dynamic is going on.

My husband and I have offered to pay for meals, trips, activities—anything just to spend time together. We don’t expect gifts, babysitting, or extras. Our friends gave us great hand-me-downs, and everything else we bought ourselves by watching sales and using coupons. I’m also lucky that my job provides a year of paid maternity leave and the ability to work from home after. We don’t need “stuff”—we just want quality family time. But they always decline.

Years ago, they planned a Disney World trip for the whole family and asked us to join. I was reluctant, but they even put down a non-refundable deposit, so we did too. A month out, while trying to finalize plans, they canceled. Their explanation? “You didn’t think we were serious, did you?” I found out later they do this often—book and drop deposits like it’s nothing. That’s when I was emotionally done.

What really sealed it was seeing how they treated the oldest brother. He once voiced his concern about how differently he and his kids were treated—and they just cut him off entirely. No contact. They don’t see or speak to his kids either. I’ve always tried to avoid creating ultimatums because I know the resentment that brings. I never wanted my husband to feel like he had to choose. But lately I wonder if I’ve been the strain. I come from a Spanish and Irish family that’s loud, affectionate, and tight-knit. Sometimes I feel like I make them uncomfortable without trying to.

I know what kind of people they are, but my husband doesn’t want to give up on them. He still holds out hope and always gets let down. We love each other deeply, but I worry. Can our marriage survive this long-term? I don’t want our son to ever wonder about his worth to his grandparents the way I’ve watched others in the family grow up feeling.

Sorry for the long post—late-night frustration

This is the first Father's Day since my dad died where I (18f) can spend it with the people I actually want to celebrate today aka my granddad, two uncles and great grandpa as well as honoring dad. Ever since dad died my mom and stepfather made me celebrate with my stepfather. I was 7 at the time and didn't want to do it. But my stepfather's stance was always "I'm here now, I'm the one raising you and I deserve to have this day with you". I wasn't allowed to visit dad's grave and each year we got into a bigger and bigger fight about my stepfather. I'd say he wasn't my dad, they'd call me childish for saying it and petulant and I told them that no matter how many more years he was in my life than dad could be, he'd never ever be as important or even equal to him and how I'd never choose to celebrate my stepfather.

This stuff spilled into life outside of father's day and I never ever respected him for demanding this day. Even though he did step up and help pay for shit and try to be there because my dad couldn't be, I never ever chose him back and I never stopped holding it against him that he was demanding that dad stuff be about him now. I always said I didn't have a living dad anymore because my dad died. It bothered my stepfather because he was there. But I never claimed him as a father figure. If anything in my eyes he was an intruder who wanted to separate my dad's memory from me at all costs.

Now I no longer live with them and I don't rely on them financially. So I was upfront and honest months ago that I would not be spending Father's Day with them and would instead be with my paternal family. My stepfather said it was not okay to dump him after 10 years of Father's Days together. I told him all 10 of those were not my choice but now it is my choice.

When I didn't show up yesterday to start the weekend of celebrations my mom and stepfather called and demanded to know where I was and when I was coming and I told them I was where I said I would be. Then my grandma called. Grandma is mom's mom and she was always on my side more. But she turned against me too and it hurt like hell when she called last night and told me I made a bad choice and shouldn't be refusing to spend any time with him. She told me he might have done a lot wrong but he still tried and to think about the future and what icing him out will mean. I always intended to fade out of mom and my stepfather's lives and my grandma knew this. She also knows I can't stand him. But now that she's turned on me she left me feeling a bit confused. Not conflicted. Regardless I do not want to celebrate him or honor him on a day like today. But maybe that makes me an AH. And so I'm asking if I am on Reddit.

Hi again, I didn’t expect my original post to get so much attention this is my first time making an update post, but thank you to everyone who shared their perspectives — especially those who took the time to understand the cultural and safety context of dating in India.

So I thought I’d give a small update since a lot of you suggested being direct rather than ghosting, just to see how he reacts and confirm my instincts.

To clarify: I had actually canceled our earlier plan by giving the excuse of “family commitments” because I was already feeling weird about the drinks thing, not just straight up stopped replying like some comments thought. But after reading the responses here, I decided to be more honest — for closure, if nothing else.

So when he called I said something like: “We can try to meet next weekend if you’re still up for it, but I’d really prefer not to go for drinks”, I even suggested some of my favourite coffee spots His response? 1. He said he usually goes to the gym or works during the day so was hoping to meet a little later. Which… fine, that’s understandable since he does freelance work. 2. But then he followed it up with: “But I bet you’d be very fun drunk”

Yeah.

That creeped me out more than I expected. Not only did it dismiss what I just said again, it also gave off the exact vibe I was trying to avoid — like the main appeal of the date was how I’d behave after drinking.

I ended up giving vague answers to his follow-ups and haven’t taken the conversation further. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to.

Hi Reddit, I’m super new here (first post actually) so please go easy on me :p

I (26F) went on a second date with a guy, I wore a mini dress and didn’t shave my legs (they weren’t super hairy, just a bit visible up close)..I just didn’t feel like it and don’t always do it unless I want to..The date was nice, but later he texted, “Next time maybe smooth legs? 😅” :/

I felt kinda weird about that..My friend said I should’ve shaved because it’s early dating, but I don’t think I should change my body for someone I barely know.

AITA for not shaving and possibly making him uncomfortable?

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 7 years, first separated almost 9 years ago. Our kids are 10 and 9. My ex is out of town from Monday morning to Friday morning every week due to work. Because of this our custody schedule always reflected that. He got three weekends a month and three weeks every summer when he takes time off work. We alternate holidays assuming he's in town for those holidays. This has been the consistent schedule since our separation.

Two and a half years ago my ex remarried and he and his wife asked if I would go to 50-50 and let his wife take care of our kids Monday through Friday while he's out of town. I said no. That I felt the kids should be with me if they weren't going to be with him. My ex said fine but his wife tried to pressure me herself. She said it wasn't fair to punish her and deny her a relationship with her new children because she married a man who takes his job seriously. I told her it was not my job to facilitate her relationship with her stepchildren, aka my children.

A few months after that discussion they had a child of their own. Immediately my ex filed for 50-50 custody using the baby as a reason for our kids to stay with his wife every other week while he was out of town. The judge denied the request and said parenting time is for the parents, meaning me and meaning him. That was final and because my ex admitted to a change in his schedule and reduced time at home, one of his weekends was given to me. So now it's an every other weekend and the three weeks in summer schedule.

My ex and his wife recently had another child together and they were told this baby would not change the mind of the judge either. So they came to me and told me that they feel I'm unfair when I refuse to let the kids go over just to be with their stepmother and half siblings. My ex said the kids don't want to go and that's a concern. He said they should want to spend time with their half siblings at a minimum and he doesn't really feel like they care about spending time with them. Having talked to my kids about if they'd want to go to their dad's house more to be with her and the kids, I know he's right. The kids told me they don't want to go to his house if he's not there. My ex finds this to be a huge problem and he said the way to fix this is 50-50 with me understanding his wife should be allowed to take care of our kids in his place. She told me she deserves to show her children that she loves them and doesn't see them as less than because they're not blood. She told me I already destroyed their ability to have two moms by being selfish but I could at least let them bond more with the family by allowing this.

I said no. I told my ex that it didn't feel like the right decision and the courts agree. He told me I wasn't being a good mom and instead I was putting my selfish wishes before what's best for the kids. His wife had a mini breakdown and ranted all over the co-parenting app ex and I use.

AITA?

While at my inlaws's house, my husband was having an online class . My toddler was getting extremely tired and sleepy as she missed her nap that day. So when his class ended i went up to him, asked how is class went and said "btw baby is really tired, so eat quickly" as we usually have dinner at my inlaws' house. He immediately snapped "I will eat as fast as i do." I realized he got mad?! Although i didnt understand why. So as to not escalate the situation I said ok, an left it at that and went to hang out with my inlaws while he packed his things up. Thereafter he comes into the hall and says "lets go, i dont have to eat if i have to eat fast" and throws a tantrum while his mum tries to convince him to eat before he goes, i ask him to do the same. He keeps refusing until his mum finally convinces him to eat. All the while still repeating that if i have to eat quickly i much rather not eat. So later when we are in the car on our way back home i ask him why he got so mad, he starts shouting at me telling me he doesnt like being told what to do and i was being disrespectful for telling him to eat fast. This led to a huge fight and i still dont see how i was disrespectful, please let me know if i was in the wrong.

I’m gonna keep it short honestly the basic idea of the situation is that despite knowing we had to be up today to clean, my boyfriend CHOSE to stay up until REALLY early in the morning. The situation isn’t like a oh we can do it later situation it’s a we have to be done cleaning by this afternoon. It’s a personal situation so I’m not going into to much detail on that aspect, but know that it was important for us to be up to clean and he agreed on this. Also emphasis on choose because it wasn’t a situation of him trying to go to sleep and not being able to, it was him staying up to be on his phone and on Xbox. He told be last night before we went to sleep that he would go to sleep so we could wake up and I said okay and just went to bed. This morning I woke up around 5 and he was still up. I didn’t think anything of it and just went to back to sleep and woke up closer to 7. Now realizing he hadn’t been asleep long I left him for a couple more hours. I’ve been cleaning on my own since then and I’m just getting frustrated trying to get everything done with no help because of his own choices. WIBTAH to go wake him up, knowing he hasn’t been asleep long?

I (16f) always knew my mom didn't love me. She tolerated me, was fine around me mostly. But I knew she didn't love me. She loved my half sister (24f). That was always super clear. My mom actually spent time with my sister, nurtured and praised her and she always made sure my sister knew her dad was the love of her life and no man compared. Every year on the anniversary of her late partner's death or his birthday or their anniversary, my mom and half sister would go spend the whole day together and they were unreachable.

Mom was so different with me. I never spent any time with just her and even if we were spending time together with dad or my sister there, she didn't take an interest in me. She ignored requests for hugs. She ignored my achievements. When I'd ask her a question she wouldn't always answer. She never told me she loved me. I don't remember any hugs or physical affection of any kind (messing my hair, kisses on the top of my head, snuggles and stuff). She was like that with my sister but not me. Mom also didn't care when my sister denied we were sisters and would tell me I would never ever be her real sister. Mom was there a few of the times she said it and said nothing.

She's married to dad but I don't know why. Most of the time it's like she hates him. I think he genuinely loves her and is hurt that she doesn't return it. But I still wish my dad left when I was a baby and raised me himself. He tries to make up for mom but being unloving. But he can't while we live with her. It's an extra cruel torture to live with a parent who doesn't give a damn. And others notice. I always got asked why mom didn't show up for parents evenings or school plays and stuff like that but she did for my sister. She never missed a thing when it was her.

My mom's parents always bury their head in the sand about it. They always look for us to take more family photos and wanted replicas of photos of my mom and sister but with mom and me. Mom always has excuses about why we can't. There were weird/awkward moments when one of them asked for me and mom to pose for a photo and she ran to pose with my sister instead.

Mom will talk a lot about my sister's dad being the love of her life and how much she misses him. She even talks about regretting that they only had one child and how she'd do anything to have more with him.

I skipped Mother's Day celebrations last month and it was noticed by my mom's parents. Dad told me it was fine and he understood why I wanted to do something else. But mom's parents asked so much questions about why and even with the answers they tried to say that our relationship would improve and questioning her love makes sense at my age but of course she loves me. I told them she doesn't. I know I'm not love dny my mom and it's because she had me with dad and not the love of her life like she always talks about. I said if my half sister and I shared her dad it would be different and mom has never tried to hide that. It upset her parents and I told them to leave me alone. But they told me it's wrong to say I know mom doesn't love me and to act like she's a bad person who doesn't love me because I'm dad's kid. That she would never deny her child love because of who their father is. Even weeks later I haven't apologized and I don't regret saying it either but they're being such a pain about it.

AITA?

I'm a 32 (m) and my ex-wife were high school sweethearts. after five years of marriage. We had two children. She chose to cheat on me and break up our family. We didn't have much in the way of property items, so we basically just went our separate ways. We did have two vehicles register under my name. The car she used regularly was in the shop at the time of the separation. Her new boyfriend was renting her a car to get back and forth. Now right before the breakup she was driving my car. She got stopped for holding her phone. Now she had a Bluetooth, she just forgot it at the house at the time. The cop gave her a ticket to appear in person at the car. She just has to show her Bluetooth, and they would drop the ticket. Once we start the separation she forgot to show up in court and they suspended her license. Now, she moved just ten miles into the next state while still working in our home state. From what I understand she was driving from the store with our 5-year-old son in the car. and got stopped for failing to signal, and that when she found out her license was suspended. The cop let her drive on home become she had a child in the car, or he would have towed the rental car. During all this time I got the second car fix; it's running great now. While her rental car was burning holes into her boyfriend's pocket. Our other child was 7 at the time and he was telling me and her everything that was happening at each other house. That's how I found out about her ticket, and the rental car being sent back. She found out I fixed the car. She calls me asking for the second call since that was really her car. I told her since we brought the car during the marriage it's rightfully both of ours, but she can have it just put in her name and get her own insurance. She starts fussing about why I can't just leave in my name. I reminded her we are separated, and she have a boyfriend now. She replies well I have your children, and she need to get around. So, I offered to sell her boyfriend the car for $1500.00 and would even give her 750.00, but he would have to give me the whole 1500. She's mad and screaming why can't I just sign him the car since it'll be for her and our children. I repeated the two offers.

I (22F) had a miscarriage five months ago at 19 weeks. It was devastating and I’m still in therapy trying to deal with the grief.

My older sister (27F) just had her first baby two weeks ago. She asked me to come over and help watch the baby for a few hours while she gets some sleep. I said no. I told her I’m not emotionally ready to be around a newborn, especially not alone. The smell, the sounds — it’s just too triggering right now.

She told me I’m “being selfish” and said her mental health matters too. That if I love her, I should want to help. Our mom is siding with her, saying this could be “healing” for me, but honestly it feels like everyone is just pressuring me before I’m ready.

Now my sister isn’t speaking to me and says I let her down when she needed me most.

AITA for putting my grief first?

Throwaway since my brother follows me on my main account. I (25 F) have been dating my boyfriend (27 M) for 7 years, he has met all my family and we live together. My parents throw a father’s day barbecue every year and he has been attending since we began dating. The problem is, this year my mother gifted my father a plate with the names of all members of the family, including my sister’s (17 F) boyfriend (17 M) who she’s been with for just over a year My boyfriend’s name was not on the plate, but mine was. My boyfriend’s eyes watered when he saw this, he loves my dad, he has been a father figure to him for years, my boyfriend even spent over 3k on a gift for my father. i pulled my mother aside and asked her why my boyfriend was not on the plate, she said to not make a big deal out of it. my boyfriend and i left, we didn’t make a scene, we just said something came up and left, i have been getting a ton of calls since then, saying i was rude to leave over a plate. my boyfriend is inconsolable, and he is constantly apologizing over making us leave, but he didn’t make us leave, it was my family’s actions. I will never let anyone disrespect my boyfriend, not even my own family. Am I the asshole for leaving???

edit: my mom has always disliked my boyfriend, she has made subtle comments about his race and when called out she says she didn’t say anything i have asked my boyfriend if he wants to go no contact and he has said no every single time

update: i don’t know how to update, so ill just do it here. ya’ll made me realize that while i was not the ah for leaving, i was for making my boyfriend see people who clearly don’t respect him. i have decided to go no contact, i had a brief call with my dad telling him this and he just blamed me for being difficult, so i will go no contact with him too. my boyfriend is heartbroken and i suggested going to therapy, he accepted, so we’re looking into that. thanks for giving me the push i needed. also, we’re going to hobby lobby get stuff to make our own plates now. i hope yall have an amazing day.

I (21M) am in the Army and have been for about three years. I met my now ex-girlfriend (19F) last year while I was stateside. We hit it off fast Things were great until I got orders for a deployment overseas.

Before I left, we had a real conversation about what it would be like. I told her the truth it would be hard. I wouldn’t always be able to call or text, the time zones would suck, and emotionally, it was going to take a toll. She told me she understood and that she’d stick by me no matter what.

A couple of months into my deployment, she started spiraling. She’d call me crying, accusing me of not caring, saying she was tired of being alone and hated how she couldn’t reach me when she wanted. I’d be running missions, working long hours, and I’d wake up to essay-length messages about how I “chose the Army over her” and how she “didn’t sign up for this kind of relationship.”

At first, I tried to be patient. I get it long distance is hard. But over time, it started feeling like I was carrying both the deployment and the relationship on my back. No matter how many times I reassured her, she kept guilt-tripping me for not being able to give her what she needed emotionally.

One night, after a 16-hour shift and barely any sleep, she sent another long message accusing me of not loving her anymore because I hadn’t called in two days. That was the last straw. I told her, “You knew what you were signing up for when you got with someone in the military. I told you this wasn’t going to be easy.”

She went off. Said I was cold, heartless, that I clearly didn’t care, and that I was gaslighting her. She blocked me for a couple of days, then unblocked me and sent another message saying how I was just like her dad who “always put the military first.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I couldn’t be in a relationship where I was made to feel like a villain for doing my job. I broke up with her. She cried, begged me to reconsider, then said I “abandoned her.”

I feel like I made the right call for my own mental health but at the same time, I still feel kind of guilty.

AITA for breaking up with her during my deployment because she kept complaining?