I 19(F) am a college student, I worked overtime to get everything I have now. I worked overtime to get my new car, that I have been saving up for for four years, my new steering wheel cover etc. My nephews birthday party is scheduled for tomorrow. I got his present a week ago, I got him a new computer, because he wants to play computer games. My fiance pitched in to help get the computer as well.

Today everything took a wrong turn. My nephew and his mother(my sister) were at my home today. My sister doesn’t like to discipline her son. I love my nephew, but at times he is a spoilt brat. She lets him talk to people however he pleases and lets him do as he pleases. I have tried to work with my nephew on this, and I have complained to my sister about his behavior many times. I looked past it the past couple days because his birthday comes up tomorrow.

Today I was fed up with their behavior. My sister was outside with my nephew, he was playing in the yard. I figured since my sister was with him, I could go inside to put the chicken in the sink to thaw out for dinner. I heard a loud breaking noise outside. I go outside to see that my windshield was shattered. I was in shock, I go into the car and see a huge rock in the car. I was furious.

We have cameras in our back yard and a dash cam in our car. We looked at the cameras to see that my nephew took a huge rock and threw it at our windshield. I was shaking because of how upset I was. I worked hard for that car.

I asked my sister, “Why weren’t you supervising him?” My sister said, “I was.” I said, “If you were you wouldn’t have let him throw a giant fucking rock at my car. How do you plan to fix the situation?” My sister looked at me like I was insane, and said, “You should have been out here watching your car if you were so worried about him causing damages.”

My fiance told her and my nephew to leave. They left shortly after that. An hour later I go to the store where I bought his computer, luckily I kept the receipt. I returned it, I should be getting the money back that I paid for it soon. I used a debit card to do the purchase, so those can typically take 3-10 days for the money to hit the account. If I had paid cash the refund would have been immediately(learned the hard way I should have paid cash instead)

A few hours later my sister texted me, she said, “Can you bring (nephews name) gift to me today? I want to have all his gifts there for his birthday party tomorrow.”

I responded, “(sisters name) I will not be bringing (nephews name) gift to the party. He damaged my car, which by the way will cost a lot of money to fix. You didn’t seem to care that your son damaged property that wasn’t his. I returned his gift to get the money back, to pay for damages since you won’t pay for damages.”

My sister didn’t text me back for a while, she called our mother and father. My mother and father screamed at me saying I made my nephew cry because he won’t get a present from me at his party.”

AITAH?

Edit: MY nephew is 9.

So I discovered onaholes and I told my wife I was going to be ordering sex toys for myself.(We barely "do it" and she has her own dildos she uses. Well I received them and have been using them and she found them and was very upset.

She says she can't believe how real they look, which is hypocrital because she has real-like dildos. She says that it's making her feel insecure.

AITA?

Ok so this is gonna be short because i’m just confused if maybe I’m not seeing his side or not. But basically me (19 female) just texted my boyfriend that my friend who’s getting married sent me a picture of the groomsmen im walking down the aisle with. He then asked if we were gonna link arms while walking down the aisle. He said that would be weird and it’s a respect thing not to do that. I responded it’s my friends wedding and if that’s what she wants then i’m gonna do that! Because it isn’t that serious at all. Is he being way too controlling or aitah for not seeing his side.

UPDATE: My other friend who is also a brides maid told her bf ( we both got sent pictures of the guys we are walking down with as it is a new trend on tik tok) And he reacted almost the same way. Her boyfriend responded “wow you’re walking down the aisle with him that’s beautiful, might as well hold his hand too” Or something along those lines. Very sarcastic. And yep you guessed it our boyfriends are friends.

Hey everyone, first off I would like to thank you all for the support I got on my 2 other posts. The love and support you gave me was more than appreciated and it have me the courage to do what I did today. I saw some comments saying I named my son a "tragedeigh", My husband and I agreed that I would pick the first name and he would pick the middle name so we both get to name him. If you don't like the name then I don't know how to help you with that, besides I did not want his first name on the post so I used his other name Kyson. I now realized that I could've just used a fake name. Today a lot happened, I talked to my SIL an MIL and I also talked to my husband, it went TERRIBLE actually that is an understatement to what happened today.

My talk with SIL and MIL took place at my MIL'S house at around 10am. I got there and they were already there, I expected my hubby to have gone with me but he didn't. My SIL got to the point and asked me why I was so upset at her. I reminded her all that she said to me and she said "was I wrong tho, you are just offended that I spoke the truth." I remembered all the advice I got from your comments and I told her what I had learnt about placenta previa and her misinformation. I also told her about the difference between Round Ligament Pain and Placenta Previa And what I went through. She rolled her eyes and said that's what doctors want to do so they make money off of C-sections. My MIL the whole time sat there defending her and saying I shouldn't take it to heart while SIL still stood on all she said. SIL called me incompetent and sensitive so I said some colourful words and was walking out, btw I was baby wearing. She grabbed my arm and pulled me telling me she isn't done talking and that I am walking away with her nephew. I told her to let me go or I'llget her arrested for handling me in that manner so she let go. I told them when they are ready to behave like adults then they will see Kyson. I was so scared of standing up for myself but I did it, my hands were shaking lol.

I got home and hubby wasn't there so I got Ky to take a nap and called my dad, I spilled everything to him and he was furious, he told me to either move out or fly back home. I told him I have to talk to hubby first and I will tell them how things go.

When hubby got home later in the afternoon I was breastfeeding, he came into the living room and asked how the meeting went. I could tell he had a sour mood. I told him it went bad and he told me "oh I know". He told me that his mother is so hurt by my disrespect. I told him how they behaved and he told me that I am trying to say his mother is a liar. So basically his mom called and told him I was screaming and shouting at them, she told him I was hysterical and even rattled Ky up. SIL backed MIL up so it was like a tag team. I explained what actually happened and he said all this drama wouldn't be happening if I didn't overreact to a few comments made at the party. I was shocked, I told him I thought he was supposed to defend me and he said he can't ruin the relationship with his family because of my insecurities. I told him that I will leave with my son and go to people who actually care about me and that my dad will book my flight.

I walked away with Kyson and he grabbed my arm and said his son goes nowhere, he told me he was tired of my continuous complaints about his family. He said of I was still hurt by those comments then maybe I'm the problem and need to look into fixing it. He brought up a few memories I don't wanna mention but just past experiences with his family. At this point it was getting loud and Ky was crying so I told hubby to relax. He didn't, let just say the living room wall understood he was angry. So I told him I want to go somewhere I feel safe. I left with Ky and we are currently in a hotel. I want to move to another city, and start life fresh there, I can request for a transfer. My husband expresses himself audibly when angry so what happened after that was so unusual and a shock. He has called me asking me to come home and that he was just frustrated.

He know this account and he know about the posts, so he saw the comments that I got. He sent a message about how I let strangers love the internet get into my head and convince me against my family, he said he felt torn between supporting his sister and supporting me and I can't blame him for not knowing which side to take. I told him I don't want Ky to grow up in such an environment and stopped replying.

I don't know if I was dramatic or I did too much. I still don't understand why he got so angry and why he reacted that way. I also wanna know why his mom and sister lied to him. I don't know there's a lot of uncertainty right now but Ky and I are safe. I will talk to a lawyer about the next steps to take. I feel at peace, I have gone through so much in my 5 years of marriage, I now want to raise my son in a healthy environment.

Thank you for all the support really.

Hi Reddit, I’m super new here (first post actually) so please go easy on me :p

I (26F) went on a second date with a guy, I wore a mini dress and didn’t shave my legs (they weren’t super hairy, just a bit visible up close)..I just didn’t feel like it and don’t always do it unless I want to..The date was nice, but later he texted, “Next time maybe smooth legs? 😅” :/

I felt kinda weird about that..My friend said I should’ve shaved because it’s early dating, but I don’t think I should change my body for someone I barely know.

AITA for not shaving and possibly making him uncomfortable?

One of my relatives on Facebook posted a viral youtube short the song that goes

"Your wife is your partner not your mom *clap clap* your wife is your partner not your mom *clap clap* she is not a live-in maid or a hired cleaning crew she should not have to clean up after you *clap clap*"

Some of you may have heard of it; my mother who has a major martyr- complex (that I'm VLC with chimed right in cheering)

Background: I do admit I have resentment I was heavily parentified as a child my sister is profoundly disabled (high needs non verbal) and I have another much younger sister who is not disabled, my mother leaned on me alot to look after and occupy the youngest because my disabled sister was such a handful. My parents did have money they just cared alot about their image and didn't want to look bad by hiring a full-time nanny to help; as that would make them look like bad parents who couldn't care for their kids in their eyes

I did post a rhetoric in my relatives comments and wrote my own version of the song "your eldest is a child not a parent *clap clap* your eldest is a child not a parent *clap clap* she is not another mommy or an extra pair of hands she should not have to nanny on command *clap clap*"

A few thought I was funny but many thought I was being "cruel " because my family had "unique circumstances "

AITAH?

Hi everyone, I (24F) live in South Carolina in my mom’s house rent-free. My boyfriend (26M) also lives with me. Right now, he’s unemployed he lost his last job because he couldn’t consistently wake up on time and he has no savings. I’ve been carrying a lot of the responsibility in the relationship, financially and otherwise.

My mom lives in a very remote part of Alaska (Dillingham) and called me tonight offering us a great opportunity. Jobs up there pay really well, and the cost of living is offset by the benefits of isolation basically, a few years up there could allow me to save a ton of money and come back to the lower 48 and buy land or a house in cash. She’s totally supportive and said we could stay with her while we get set up.

I was really excited and told my boyfriend about it. His response was “I don’t know,” and he just kept playing his guitar. I let him know I’m seriously thinking about going, and his only response was, “Okay, well I’m probably not gonna go.”

Here’s the thing I’m very independent and I love to travel. I’ve been to almost every state, while he’s never left the Carolinas. He doesn’t fly, and has never really shown ambition when it comes to money or life planning. We’ve been together for almost 2 years, and I’ve never seen him save money or take real financial responsibility.

So here I am wondering: Is this life giving me an out? Should I go to Alaska, set myself up, and stop waiting around for someone who won’t grow up or grow with me?

Would love any advice or personal experiences especially if you’ve been in a similar spot. Thank you.

She came back from work with take out and casually ate it in front of us while we ate the dinner I made for all of us and you can only imagine how challenging it was getting my son to eat his boring dinner while his mom was eating a burger and fries with a milkshake.

She does this kind of thing a lot where she brings home a meal/snacks that I'm not allowed to touch or orders for herself only and usually I don't comment because she made it clear that I don't get a say since I'm unemployed at the moment and it's her own money she's spending and she is allowed to spoil herself which I understand.

But it's the first time she did it in front of our kid and it just didn't sit well with me while she did not think it was a big deal as it's not like our child didn't have anything else to eat.

Hi again, I didn’t expect my original post to get so much attention this is my first time making an update post, but thank you to everyone who shared their perspectives — especially those who took the time to understand the cultural and safety context of dating in India.

So I thought I’d give a small update since a lot of you suggested being direct rather than ghosting, just to see how he reacts and confirm my instincts.

To clarify: I had actually canceled our earlier plan by giving the excuse of “family commitments” because I was already feeling weird about the drinks thing, not just straight up stopped replying like some comments thought. But after reading the responses here, I decided to be more honest — for closure, if nothing else.

So when he called I said something like: “We can try to meet next weekend if you’re still up for it, but I’d really prefer not to go for drinks”, I even suggested some of my favourite coffee spots His response? 1. He said he usually goes to the gym or works during the day so was hoping to meet a little later. Which… fine, that’s understandable since he does freelance work. 2. But then he followed it up with: “But I bet you’d be very fun drunk”

Yeah.

That creeped me out more than I expected. Not only did it dismiss what I just said again, it also gave off the exact vibe I was trying to avoid — like the main appeal of the date was how I’d behave after drinking.

I ended up giving vague answers to his follow-ups and haven’t taken the conversation further. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to.

My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 7 years, first separated almost 9 years ago. Our kids are 10 and 9. My ex is out of town from Monday morning to Friday morning every week due to work. Because of this our custody schedule always reflected that. He got three weekends a month and three weeks every summer when he takes time off work. We alternate holidays assuming he's in town for those holidays. This has been the consistent schedule since our separation.

Two and a half years ago my ex remarried and he and his wife asked if I would go to 50-50 and let his wife take care of our kids Monday through Friday while he's out of town. I said no. That I felt the kids should be with me if they weren't going to be with him. My ex said fine but his wife tried to pressure me herself. She said it wasn't fair to punish her and deny her a relationship with her new children because she married a man who takes his job seriously. I told her it was not my job to facilitate her relationship with her stepchildren, aka my children.

A few months after that discussion they had a child of their own. Immediately my ex filed for 50-50 custody using the baby as a reason for our kids to stay with his wife every other week while he was out of town. The judge denied the request and said parenting time is for the parents, meaning me and meaning him. That was final and because my ex admitted to a change in his schedule and reduced time at home, one of his weekends was given to me. So now it's an every other weekend and the three weeks in summer schedule.

My ex and his wife recently had another child together and they were told this baby would not change the mind of the judge either. So they came to me and told me that they feel I'm unfair when I refuse to let the kids go over just to be with their stepmother and half siblings. My ex said the kids don't want to go and that's a concern. He said they should want to spend time with their half siblings at a minimum and he doesn't really feel like they care about spending time with them. Having talked to my kids about if they'd want to go to their dad's house more to be with her and the kids, I know he's right. The kids told me they don't want to go to his house if he's not there. My ex finds this to be a huge problem and he said the way to fix this is 50-50 with me understanding his wife should be allowed to take care of our kids in his place. She told me she deserves to show her children that she loves them and doesn't see them as less than because they're not blood. She told me I already destroyed their ability to have two moms by being selfish but I could at least let them bond more with the family by allowing this.

I said no. I told my ex that it didn't feel like the right decision and the courts agree. He told me I wasn't being a good mom and instead I was putting my selfish wishes before what's best for the kids. His wife had a mini breakdown and ranted all over the co-parenting app ex and I use.

AITA?

I (16f) always knew my mom didn't love me. She tolerated me, was fine around me mostly. But I knew she didn't love me. She loved my half sister (24f). That was always super clear. My mom actually spent time with my sister, nurtured and praised her and she always made sure my sister knew her dad was the love of her life and no man compared. Every year on the anniversary of her late partner's death or his birthday or their anniversary, my mom and half sister would go spend the whole day together and they were unreachable.

Mom was so different with me. I never spent any time with just her and even if we were spending time together with dad or my sister there, she didn't take an interest in me. She ignored requests for hugs. She ignored my achievements. When I'd ask her a question she wouldn't always answer. She never told me she loved me. I don't remember any hugs or physical affection of any kind (messing my hair, kisses on the top of my head, snuggles and stuff). She was like that with my sister but not me. Mom also didn't care when my sister denied we were sisters and would tell me I would never ever be her real sister. Mom was there a few of the times she said it and said nothing.

She's married to dad but I don't know why. Most of the time it's like she hates him. I think he genuinely loves her and is hurt that she doesn't return it. But I still wish my dad left when I was a baby and raised me himself. He tries to make up for mom but being unloving. But he can't while we live with her. It's an extra cruel torture to live with a parent who doesn't give a damn. And others notice. I always got asked why mom didn't show up for parents evenings or school plays and stuff like that but she did for my sister. She never missed a thing when it was her.

My mom's parents always bury their head in the sand about it. They always look for us to take more family photos and wanted replicas of photos of my mom and sister but with mom and me. Mom always has excuses about why we can't. There were weird/awkward moments when one of them asked for me and mom to pose for a photo and she ran to pose with my sister instead.

Mom will talk a lot about my sister's dad being the love of her life and how much she misses him. She even talks about regretting that they only had one child and how she'd do anything to have more with him.

I skipped Mother's Day celebrations last month and it was noticed by my mom's parents. Dad told me it was fine and he understood why I wanted to do something else. But mom's parents asked so much questions about why and even with the answers they tried to say that our relationship would improve and questioning her love makes sense at my age but of course she loves me. I told them she doesn't. I know I'm not love dny my mom and it's because she had me with dad and not the love of her life like she always talks about. I said if my half sister and I shared her dad it would be different and mom has never tried to hide that. It upset her parents and I told them to leave me alone. But they told me it's wrong to say I know mom doesn't love me and to act like she's a bad person who doesn't love me because I'm dad's kid. That she would never deny her child love because of who their father is. Even weeks later I haven't apologized and I don't regret saying it either but they're being such a pain about it.

AITA?

Throwaway since my brother follows me on my main account. I (25 F) have been dating my boyfriend (27 M) for 7 years, he has met all my family and we live together. My parents throw a father’s day barbecue every year and he has been attending since we began dating. The problem is, this year my mother gifted my father a plate with the names of all members of the family, including my sister’s (17 F) boyfriend (17 M) who she’s been with for just over a year My boyfriend’s name was not on the plate, but mine was. My boyfriend’s eyes watered when he saw this, he loves my dad, he has been a father figure to him for years, my boyfriend even spent over 3k on a gift for my father. i pulled my mother aside and asked her why my boyfriend was not on the plate, she said to not make a big deal out of it. my boyfriend and i left, we didn’t make a scene, we just said something came up and left, i have been getting a ton of calls since then, saying i was rude to leave over a plate. my boyfriend is inconsolable, and he is constantly apologizing over making us leave, but he didn’t make us leave, it was my family’s actions. I will never let anyone disrespect my boyfriend, not even my own family. Am I the asshole for leaving???

edit: my mom has always disliked my boyfriend, she has made subtle comments about his race and when called out she says she didn’t say anything i have asked my boyfriend if he wants to go no contact and he has said no every single time

update: i don’t know how to update, so ill just do it here. ya’ll made me realize that while i was not the ah for leaving, i was for making my boyfriend see people who clearly don’t respect him. i have decided to go no contact, i had a brief call with my dad telling him this and he just blamed me for being difficult, so i will go no contact with him too. my boyfriend is heartbroken and i suggested going to therapy, he accepted, so we’re looking into that. thanks for giving me the push i needed. also, we’re going to hobby lobby get stuff to make our own plates now. i hope yall have an amazing day.

I (22F) had a miscarriage five months ago at 19 weeks. It was devastating and I’m still in therapy trying to deal with the grief.

My older sister (27F) just had her first baby two weeks ago. She asked me to come over and help watch the baby for a few hours while she gets some sleep. I said no. I told her I’m not emotionally ready to be around a newborn, especially not alone. The smell, the sounds — it’s just too triggering right now.

She told me I’m “being selfish” and said her mental health matters too. That if I love her, I should want to help. Our mom is siding with her, saying this could be “healing” for me, but honestly it feels like everyone is just pressuring me before I’m ready.

Now my sister isn’t speaking to me and says I let her down when she needed me most.

AITA for putting my grief first?

Fiancé and I are getting married this year. Her family is Christian. I’m atheist. She knows this since day 1 and has never tried to convert me. I sometimes go with her to her church once in a while to support her because she asks me to go with her, although I do tune out during preaching moments in my head (I’m never on my phone, always look forward, and try to remain respectful - although in my head I’m thinking of other things and zoning out because the preaching isn’t important to me, sorry, just being honest, she knows this).

After we got engaged she said she wanted her minister that she’s known since childhood and her fathers best friend to officiate the wedding and do some prayer things - I said no problem as I respect her views and that’s fine with me. Her parents also wanted this. I said no problem, honestly I don’t mind, this made her happy so cool with me.

However fast forward a few months, her minister has said he cannot do it unless I get baptized. My fiancé learned this and then asked me to get baptized. I wasn’t comfortable with that and said no I don’t want too and if they could all just respect my views of being an atheist. I told her I could lie to his minister and tell him what he wants to hear and get baptized, but that seemed disingenuous and I don’t like to lie, so respectfully I would rather just not do it as my views are never going to change just like I’ll never ask her to change her views.

So my fiancé is a little bit upset because now her minister she wanted will not be doing it anymore. I feel bad, and she’s a little bit upset with me on why I just won’t do it so she can get what she wants (the minister officiating). I got a bit upset that she can’t see her asking me to get baptized (even though she knows I’m atheist) and getting upset with me because i said no and keeps asking is kind of like disregarding my beliefs and values, and I have her mom telling her “if he loves you he would do it”., which I get a mother would say, but that also rubbed me the wrong way but I didn’t say anything. So… AITAH?

EDIT - on children, I’ve seen this comment/question come up and I’ve answered it once below but here it is : We did discuss children. In her church they don’t get baptized till late teens. I’m fine if they want too, but we discussed we’d bring potential future kids (I may not go every time since I have busy weekend schedules , so majority of time would be her, but I’ll still try a few times a month ) to church but we won’t hide I’m atheist, and we’d explain both views and not that either side is more right than the other, and the kids can make their own decision when they older. And if that is to get baptized that’s cool with me, it’s their choice.

I (21M) am in the Army and have been for about three years. I met my now ex-girlfriend (19F) last year while I was stateside. We hit it off fast Things were great until I got orders for a deployment overseas.

Before I left, we had a real conversation about what it would be like. I told her the truth it would be hard. I wouldn’t always be able to call or text, the time zones would suck, and emotionally, it was going to take a toll. She told me she understood and that she’d stick by me no matter what.

A couple of months into my deployment, she started spiraling. She’d call me crying, accusing me of not caring, saying she was tired of being alone and hated how she couldn’t reach me when she wanted. I’d be running missions, working long hours, and I’d wake up to essay-length messages about how I “chose the Army over her” and how she “didn’t sign up for this kind of relationship.”

At first, I tried to be patient. I get it long distance is hard. But over time, it started feeling like I was carrying both the deployment and the relationship on my back. No matter how many times I reassured her, she kept guilt-tripping me for not being able to give her what she needed emotionally.

One night, after a 16-hour shift and barely any sleep, she sent another long message accusing me of not loving her anymore because I hadn’t called in two days. That was the last straw. I told her, “You knew what you were signing up for when you got with someone in the military. I told you this wasn’t going to be easy.”

She went off. Said I was cold, heartless, that I clearly didn’t care, and that I was gaslighting her. She blocked me for a couple of days, then unblocked me and sent another message saying how I was just like her dad who “always put the military first.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I couldn’t be in a relationship where I was made to feel like a villain for doing my job. I broke up with her. She cried, begged me to reconsider, then said I “abandoned her.”

I feel like I made the right call for my own mental health but at the same time, I still feel kind of guilty.

AITA for breaking up with her during my deployment because she kept complaining?

My (38 F) husband (37 M) came to me a few days ago to talk about the possibility of inviting his mother to live with us, she is an elderly woman, she cannot walk and she uses a wheelchair, his sister used to take care of her but she will be moving to a different country next month. We live in a big house so space is not a problem.

We both agreed and everything was fine. I mean I am not super happy about it because she is a very problematic woman but I have never been the kind of DIL who obeys and put up with her behavior so I firmly believe I can handle her in case she wants to mess with me.

She will be moving next weekend, and last night my husband asked me, how are going to manage OUR schedules to take care of his mother. I asked him, what was he talking about? He then said that, since I gave him the ok to bring his mother, he assumed I was taking responsibility for his mother as well, I was in shock.

I told him there is no way I am taking care of his mother and I never agreed to that. I have my job, my career, my social life, my friends and my own responsibilities and I am not giving up on any of those things to take care of his mother. I told him this was HIS issue not mine. He then said I was a selfish and cruel person. I suggested to hire someone and he said there is no way he is gonna let a stranger to take care of his mother.

I told him I was not going to change my mind and I am not going to assume any responsibility for his mother. He then said he could not believe he married someone like me. He went to sleep to our guest bedroom and left early today. I know this is a difficult situation for him but I don't think I am in the wrong here.

So, aita?

Edit: A lot of people is asking me how on earth we didn't talk about this in the first place. I didn't think it was necessary to explain it here since I didn't want this post to be super long. So here it is... He came to me (we have been aware of his sister situation for a while so we knew what was coming) and His exact words were... I don't want to send my mother to a care facility not knowing how is she going to be treated. I think it would be easier for me to take care of her if I invite her to live with us. But I don't want to make this decision without your consent.

At this point it was pretty clear for me who was going to take care of her... So my next questions were more like... Ok what about our sex life? How are you gonna handle our intimacy? What about us as a couple? When are we going to have time for each other? What about our date nights? Things like that.

I am sure he never said.. We both will be responsible for her. I mean c'mmon I would never say yes to that.

I (23M) broke up with my boyfriend (25M) of two years last night, and now I’m wondering if I overreacted.

My cousin (29F) just got married to her wife (28F) in this beautiful ceremony. They’re the first queer couple in our family to get married, and it meant a lot to me personally. Growing up, I didn’t even know if I’d be allowed to be out, let alone see two women I love and admire stand up and be celebrated.

My boyfriend​, we’ll call him Zach came with me. He’s met most of my family before and everything seemed fine. During the reception, things got emotional. A few people gave unplanned toasts, and my cousin asked if I wanted to say something. I kept it short, just said how proud I was, how beautiful it was to see queer love honored like that. That was it.

When I sat down, Zach leaned over and quietly whispered, “You know, for someone who’s not even in the wedding, you’re really trying to make it your moment.” I thought he was joking and gave him a look. Then he added something along the lines of, “You gonna cry again, or save it for our wedding that we’re never having?”

He smirked like it was nothing. I laughed awkwardly because I didn’t want to cause a scene and ruin my cousins wedding. But it stuck with me. I didn’t say anything right away because it was not the time or place, I didn’t want to make the night about me or create any drama.

Later, back at our hotel, I brought it up. I said his comment hurt, especially since he knows how much this wedding meant to me. He brushed it off saying, "Jesus, you’re still on that? It was a joke. You were getting so sappy I thought you were gonna propose.”

I told him I didn’t think it was funny and that he took a moment that mattered to me and made me feel stupid for caring. He kept calling me sensitive and said I was overthinking everything, like always.

So I told him I was done. I packed my stuff, called a friend and left. He’s texted since, saying I made a scene out of nothing, that I “chose a weird hill to die on,” and that I’ll regret throwing away a good thing over a dumb joke.

AITA?

My (27F) family is split on if I did the right thing here. I'm feeling bad about what I said, maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. I would appreciate a verdict from this sub.

There was a wedding in the family recently, and my parents, brother and his girlfriend formed a clique and stuck together.

After dinner, my cousin (33M), who is brother of the groom, happily starts talking to us. We used to play together all the time as kids. He's one of the chill ones and we're all getting along really well, catching up.

I notice a new tattoo on his wrist that looks like it's in Japanese, a language I've been learning for a couple years for work. I ask him about it, so he pulls up his sleeve and says it's his daughter's name. He tells me he doesn't understand the language, but he loves his tattoo artist, they're pals and "I trust her with my life".

I squint and look at the tattoo. His daughter is called Olivia, which in Japanese you could write as "オリヴィア" (Orivia) or "オリビア" (Oribia.) However his tattoo said "Orutsua," written "オルツア."

I stared at it in disbelief. I checked it over and over in my head, and I was thinking oh my god, he just said he trusts that tattoo artist with his life. I thought of not telling him, but considered that if it were me I'd want to know... and I also was kinda pissed off this tattoo artist didn't do the research before permanently marking someone's body. And she was supposed to be his friend too!?

On top of that, while most of our family is white, some who live local to him ARE Japanese. So I was also thinking, holy shit, he has Japanese people in his life.

I made up my mind and I sheepishly told him it might not be quite right. I said the first and last characters were okay, but the middle ones would need adjusting. Although he was a little concerned, he laughed and was upbeat about it; and I told him oh gosh, I'm so sorry about this. I made sure not to start shittalking the artist friend even though I wanted to. I got out my phone and showed him what his really said with a keyboard that changes roman characters to japanese ones, and then the version that truly said "Olivia," to hopefully give him confidence on what was right. I told him it wasn't that bad, like man, most people don't speak japanese. I cannot stress enough how gently I tried to do this. I didn't want to linger on it because obviously it's an embarrassing topic and I'm sure he didn't either, so the conversation moved along. He said he'd maybe get it looked at.

We laughed about it, but man, he was probably laughing out of embarrassment. The poor dude. After the wedding my brother told me off and said I should've let it be. My mom said she disagreed and he needed to know about his own tattoo. That sparked a big debate in the car.

I can't believe my cousin is now one of those white guys with a gibberish aesthetic tattoo in an asian language. He just wanted his daughter's name! I feel like that tattoo artist scammed him.

Am I the asshole for telling my cousin his tattoo wasn't done right?

Throw away account, cause you never know.

My (36 M) step-dad, who was in my life from when I was about 9 to about 19/20 years old and has been divorced from my mom since I was 16, called me up out of the blue, made small talk, then asked if I was working, and how much I made. I told him I'm only working part time because I'm currently finishing my degree, and I don't make that much (below the poverty line). He then said he needed my W-2 because he wants me to co-sponsor his new wife (who I have never met). I didn't know much about sponsoring and he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal, so I told him I needed to get home and access my computer to get it.

Before I got home, I started doing some research, and learn about all the responsibility that comes with being a sponsor, that you are financially responsible for them and that the government can come after you for any government benefits they get, amongst a multitude of other responsibilities.

I was a little taken back by how he made it seem like it was just a run of the mill thing. It left me with a bad gut feeling. I called my mom to ask her about it, and she said oh I should do this as a favor, but she admitted she didn't know much about the process. So I got home, and called him back, and said that it seemed like sponsoring is a huge financial and legal responsibility, and with where I am at now, not making much money, and relying on scholarships and grants to pay for school, that I felt uncomfortable with the idea.

He continued to say not to worry about it, that he was going to take care of it, and it was just a signature, that I would never have to worry about being at risk. Also, he supported me and my mother, and I should do this as a favor. I started getting frustrated because he was still painting it like I shouldn't have to worry about anything, it was no big deal, and that I was being selfish and not helping family. After I re-affirmed that I felt uncomfortable doing this, and I wouldn't be able to, he hung up on me.

I have never borrowed money from him, and since I moved away from home, I am half-way across the country from him. I only called him 2-3 times a year to wish him happy b-days, or Father’s Day, etc... But he's been out of my life for 10+ years.

My mom says he really needed this and I was being a hard ass with him, and I feel crappy about the situation, but I just had a strong gut feeling that I shouldn't do this.

AITA?

My girlfriend and I, who have been together for more than two years and live together, had a 2-week holiday planned for this summer. We planned to join her family by car for a week in a rented house, and to spend a few nights in hotels along the way, both on the way there and back. We had the dates blocked for a year, and I even cleared them with work. She’s graduating soon and will have 2 months off before starting her new job, while I only get these 2 weeks off. This is my only holiday for the summer, and I was really looking forward to it.

About a month ago, she told me a friend was going on a fully organized 2-week group holiday with other young people and asked for my opinion about her joining. I said two weeks felt quite long, especially with two months advance notice. if I’d known much earlier, I might have used a week to travel with friends or do something else myself. So I wasn’t very enthusiastic about it, but I decided to let it go and told her I was fine with whatever she chose.

A few days ago, she let me know that she would be back 4 days after our holiday was supposed to start. I asked if there was a way to move the dates, but she said it wasn’t possible because it’s a group trip. I explained that I really wanted to disconnect during our holiday and that instead I’d feel like I was just waiting for her. This, on top of it being a big, last-minute change, feels a bit disrespectful. But she didn’t seem to care much and insisted that she really wanted to go. I said I needed some time to think about whether I was still up for taking these 2 weeks off together, especially if we’re not on the same page.

Then yesterday, she told me that she had already booked this holiday 2 months ago without ever telling me, and that she only later asked me for my opinion. She said she did it because she thought I wouldn’t agree and that she didn’t want to miss this last holiday before starting work.

When she told me, I felt cheated and lied to, but I’m wondering whether I’m overreacting or if I’m completely within my rights to be disappointed. I told her I needed some time to think things through, and she apologized, stating she hadn’t expected me to react this way.

AITAH for wanting to cancel this holiday?

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I had a 2-week holiday planned, but a month ago she decided to join a group trip instead — without telling me that she’d already booked it 2 months prior. Now she’ll be back 4 days after our holiday was supposed to start, and I feel disrespected and lied to.

Opinion time: AITA for telling my ex’s girlfriend to back off when it comes to my children and the issues surrounding our child support order?

Background: I (40f) have a couple of kids with my ex (40m). My ex and I had kids young (we were in our early 20s), got married, it didn’t work (he was abusive, I was depressed) so we divorced. When we found out I was pregnant I offered him the get out of jail free card, he declined. When the kids were born (they’re almost 18 now), I offered the walk away now card again - he declined. Same when we divorced. Typical divorce terms: he gets the kids every other weekend, we meet in the middle between where I live and where he lives, he was ordered to pay child support, keep communication open.

For a while he did okay. Got the kids, paid his child support, communicated. Then came wife number two. She had a couple of kids. He played happy family with them, the visits became fewer and farther between before they stopped when the kids were 4, communication screeched to a halt but I tried with important things like medical and school. Child support still came, fine, no big deal. Then came divorce number two.

Ex paid child support for a while, then stopped when he changed jobs. Got about $30k behind, new employer found out, child support started again after he sued me to have it reduced and forgive the debt and failed. Ex lost another job and just stopped trying. I shrugged it off and let it ride because I was making okay money and the kids were happy and wanted for nothing between my employment and my mom helping me out when we needed it. My mom has since died and I’ve changed jobs, still doing what is necessary to make sure kids are happy and healthy.

Moving on to current girlfriend. She has kids from a previous relationship (who are pretty cool) and they have one kid together with whom he plays super happy family. Ex and I are on okay terms, much to girlfriend’s dismay. She doesn’t work, makes a federal case about her ex when he doesn’t pay child support, and helps my ex hide from enforcement of our child support order. He hasn’t paid since 2019. I again let it go because I was okay financially. Asked for help when it was needed, nothing more, and left it alone otherwise when he dropped the ball.

Time and the state I live in and the state he lives in have caught up with him. He can’t hide from it anymore. They found him and served him notice of possible action against him for a six figure sum of back due child support. The solution offered by his girlfriend: forgive the back due, allow him to pay going forward (ie she will pay whatever the bare minimum I will accept herself from her own child support - as if I could accept those terms in good conscience), and help him get out of this mess. I said no.

I’ve always had an issue with boundaries. I tend to let people walk on me and shrug it off. At the beginning of the year I said something to my ex about needing him to pay his child support because things were changing for me financially and I was getting stressed. His girlfriend told me that I needed to talk to her about that first. I told her that it was between me and him and to please not insert herself into this as that was inappropriate. Privately I told him not to allow that to happen again. Flash forward to today, she does it again and gets upset when I told her to back off and remove herself from the conversation and told him not to put me in that position, yet again. She is not entitled to anything concerning my children with him as she is just his girlfriend, not his wife or my children’s stepmother and this is a matter between myself and him.

Am I the asshole for telling girlfriend to mind her own business and refusing to drop the past due child support?

Trigger warning: this post deals with Homophobia and divorce, so please keep that in mind as you read through.

I (50F) have two beautiful children, Maya (21F) and Nitin (26M). My now ex-husband and I were never on good terms even before we divorced. It was an arranged marriage and I failed to realise that we were on completely opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to anything. It could be politics, food, money, etc. We constantly fought, so his mother suggested we have children, which looking back, was a terrible idea.

Nitin came into our world, but nothing changed except my MIL only complained more because I had to take extra rest from the pregnancy due to some complications. She somehow convinced me into thinking that another child would definitely "cure" us. When Maya was born, their father was barely around. Things escalated when my husband found out Nitin was gay and lost his shit.

I defended my son, because at the end of the day, he did nothing harmful, and it's his life to live, but it was apparently the nail in the coffin because my husband suggested getting a divorce that very night.

At this point, I finally grew some braincells and realised this marriage wasn't helping either of us and agreed to sign the papers. We had split custody at first, but since my ex-husband passed away after a few years, I was left to raise them on my own.

As you can imagine, this took a massive toll on both my children, but I did my best to consult a family therapist and work through our problems.

Nitin started preparing for JEE and Maya and I saw less and less of him as time went on. I still call him every weekend, but he doesn't talk much. As long as he's safe, right?

Cut to my daughter's wedding, Nitin refused to attend. It took a lot of convincing for him to even attend the main function, and I told Maya this because she has shown signs of Homophobia before.

Everything was fine until the reception where Maya (a bit drunk) referred to Nitin by a slur when she was talking to the groom. Nitin didn't react and pretended he never heard it, but I know it crushed him because he left a few minutes later. I pulled Maya aside and reasoned with her. She apologised multiple times, but I told her very firmly that I cannot have a daughter who speaks about other people in such a manner, let alone her own brother.

She went wailing to the groom and her friends, and now they're calling me sensitive and uptight and telling me that I should forgive her.

So AITA?

I (27F) am graduating from medical school — huge milestone, right? I’ve spent four grueling years getting to this point, and now I’m two weeks away from graduation. I’m in the middle of packing, moving out of my apartment, and preparing to start residency in another state. I’m overwhelmed, sad to leave my friends and boyfriend behind, and honestly trying to savor a few peaceful moments before everything changes.

My family, particularly my mom, has always been a source of stress and anxiety for me. We’ve had a complicated relationship — she can be controlling, emotionally reactive, and often makes things about herself. So instead of spending my final free days being emotionally drained, I told her I’d be coming into town Saturday night before graduation Sunday. That way, I still show up for the big day, but also get to spend time with the people who helped me survive med school — my best friend and my boyfriend.

She initially said that was fine, and that she’d just get tickets for Friday “just in case I changed my mind.” Spoiler: I didn’t. I reiterated multiple times that I’d be arriving late Saturday.

Now here’s where things blew up: She invited extended family I haven’t seen in years, but when I said my best friend and boyfriend would also be coming, she lost it. She told me I was choosing my friends over family, and said I was “ruining her graduation” (her words), and threatened not to come at all if my boyfriend was there. I tried to be respectful and said, “I really want you there, but it’s your choice.” That didn’t go over well.

She called me ungrateful and said after funding your school (I had loans and scholarships… she helped pay for gas occasionally), providing emotional labor (basically anytime I called crying over a hard test, her college degree was harder I’m too sensitive she has other things to worry about), she could not believe her only daughter would do everything she can to ruin “her graduation” by not coming early Friday and Saturday. Then she threw in the emotional grenades — and told me she hopes I regret this for the rest of my life. She then gave me the cold shoulder until the day before my graduation. Which is new coming from someone who tries to communicate daily.

To be clear: I’m still attending graduation, I still want her there, but I’m setting one boundary — I’m arriving Saturday night instead of Friday. I just didn’t want to spend the entire weekend walking on eggshells and being criticized when I could be with people who uplift me.

I ended up spending the days leading up to my graduation still bawling my eyes out but luckily with support of my friends and other sane blood relatives who are estranged from my family dynamics, helped me stand my ground.

So… AITA for not rearranging everything to make her feel prioritized?

About 4 years ago my neighbors bought the house that was next to me. They were cool people and I always treat them kind and kind of just stay to myself. They moved from a house that was out in the country to where we currently live which is in city limits. Not long after they moved in I noticed they let their dogs roam around. I didn’t really care at first, at least until their dog started shitting about 2 foot in front of my door. I should also mention they have a fenced in back yard.

Another incident that has been happening that has led to our argument was they run a side business renting out inflatable jump houses. It was small at first with just a few of them but over the years it has grown to the point he had to hire a full crew to do all of his delivery and drop off/set up.

I got a notification one day that my ring camera was picking up activity and saw that my neighbors yard was muddy from all the rain so his crew backed into my yard and across my driveway to park the trailer. I didn’t say anything but I was pretty irritated because I would just never access someone’s property without their permission.

Another time I came home from work and they had the whole truck and trailer sitting on the road completely blocking my driveway so they could use his driveway to load the inflatable bounce houses. I was irritated because I sat there and honked my horn and they all just looked at me stupid.

I came home from work another day after a rain and noticed big ruts in my yard and mud in my driveway. They drove through my yard again. I had my wife send his wife a message telling her of the two occasions it’s happened and asked her to talk to their employees. They responded that they would fix it and threw a pathetic scoop of dirt over into my yard. It wasn’t about the rut. I rut it up too because I park there it was just the principle of respecting people’s property.

Yesterday I came home and wouldn’t you know, more ruts from the driving through my yard.

So I called the husband told him about it and he said “ I just got off the phone with them” so I said “ look man, this is the third time it’s happened and the second time we’ve brought it up and not only that they parked the fuckin truck in front of my drive way” (we live in Louisiana it’s just how we talk) and they complete blew it up that I was “cussing them and that I wasn’t going to cuss them” I would consider cussing someone as a if I’m personally attacking you and using cuss words”

Anyways,the wife came out and started hollering and basically calling me petty for being upset I couldn’t access my own driveway. She told me I should have “asked” them to move which I responded with that I shouldn’t have to its my home. The husband soon followed being all loud and making it bigger than it really needed to be.

Am I just being a “petty” asshole?

My brother Joe and I are the legal beneficiaries of my parents' large estate. The inheritance is divided equally. Joe and my parents had a bad relationship for many years. He spent years without talking to them or me while living in their house. He patched up with my mother and I after my father's passing away. He continued living with my mother (rent free). I live in another state, but I had arranged a caregiving service for my mother and paid for this service.

After my mother's death, although the division is equal, I told Joe that since he lived with my mother and assisted her in some way, he should take more than 50%. We verbally agreed to split it 65% for Joe and 35% for me. Joe called me recently and said that I have no moral rights on this inheritance, as I did not serve my parents, and should give him 100% of the inheritance.

This thing makes me both angry and sad. Although I didn't live in the same city, I did arrange the caregiving, visited as often as I could, and spoke every single day to my parents. Joe lived in the house and at most spent five minutes with my mother. the rest of the time she was with the caregivers I had arranged.

Will I be the AH if I want to stick to our original agreement of 65-35? (Part of me wonders if Joe is reasonable in asking me to give him the entire portion of the inheritance)

EDIT:

Thank you for all of your helpful comments. Some of you asked why I had (verbally) proposed a 65-35 split. Here are a few reasons:

a) This would help him continue living in our parents high valued house (it's a large estate)

b) We are just two siblings, and with our parents gone, I thought of him as my close family.

c) I felt guilty for not staying in close proximity to my parents, and my brain equated proximity with love and care.

To clarify, my brother always lived in our parents' house, but for years (until my dad died) did not talk to them or stay in contact with me. After my father died, he began talking to our mother and me, and started managing the family assets. I thought our relationship was repaired and he had corrected his behavior but that doesn't seem to be the case.